


I Am Heda

by Alexis_Payton



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Blood Drinking, Character Death, F/F, Lots of canon plot and not, Mating? I think, OOC, People die in this fic, So much of swearing, Supernatural - Freeform, Thirsty!Klark, Torture, fangs, weird creature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 10:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 124,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexis_Payton/pseuds/Alexis_Payton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke had expected to see many new and wonderful things on Earth. But nothing could’ve possibly prepared her for meeting the Heda of the Twelve Clans. A creature so powerful, so strange, so beautiful, that just the sight of her stole Clarke’s breath away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The 100 Season 3 trailer fucked me up. Really. I’d been writing this and then I watched that and I just couldn’t go as dark and angsty as I’d initially planned this story. So I’ve lightened it up a bit, so Clarke and Lexa would be more about each other than they’re about their people, though obviously that will still be an occurring theme. So basically this is a love story and not a The 100 story lol  
> Story follows most events up until episode 2.6. I’ve made many changes though that shouldn’t be too hard to pick up. Kane and Jaha were kept imprisoned by Indra instead of Lexa. Lincoln wasn’t turned into a Reaper. Lexa was never Anya’s second. No City of Light, or Hot Holograms. They truly do live a post-apocalyptic dystopia. Lexa is also somewhat OOC because her background is different and because of that, other characters react differently toward her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .

 

Clarke’s mind swam while she stared across the fire toward the other side of camp where Finn and Raven were quietly speaking to each other. First Thelonius had appeared with the message from the Grounders to ‘Leave or Die’. But given that they had nowhere else to go and that Camp Jaha seemed the safest place to be with the electric fence and gates, the Sky People had decided that leaving would be as good as dying. So they stayed, in spite of Jaha’s insistent urgings not to. After the former Chancellor was confined because of his vehement protesting, Kane had returned from the Grounder village next and declared that Indra - the Commander - wanted Finn in exchange for a truce instead of the impending war the Sky People had been anxiously preparing for.

_It would be more than a fair trade, wouldn’t it?_

But Abby had already pardoned Finn and Murphy their actions at the Ton DC village and the Council had decided not to give Finn up. Clarke could understand that, she honestly didn’t want Finn to die. But their numbers were dwindling fast. Forty seven of their people were still trapped in Mount Weather.  And judging by the thousands of torch lights waiting ominously in the darkness outside of Camp Jaha, they were _grossly_ outnumbered. They would need manpower to rescue their people from the mountain. But how many would die because they refused to hand Finn over to the Grounders? Would any of them even survive this war at all?

Clarke’s thoughts kept on running in circles while she considered what the right thing was to do, even though it wasn’t her call to make. Bellamy agreed that Finn would stay and Raven had stood against most of the camp in Finn’s defence. Yet still Clarke contemplated what would happen come morning, when their time was up and that large Grounder army attacked.  

“You’re gonna hurt your brain, Princess.” Octavia smirked and sat down next to her, Lincoln following closely after.

The two of them had been inseparable since Lincoln had defied his people and saved Octavia’s life after she’d been poisoned by a Grounder arrow. He was part of the ‘Skaikru’ now and honestly, Clarke would rather have him as an ally than an enemy. Maybe they would even become friends someday... Lincoln doesn’t seem to resent her for it, but Clarke couldn’t quite forget that she’d literally tortured the man to save Finn.

God, the Ground had turned them all into savages. Yes, Earth was survivable, but the things she’d been forced to do in order to continue surviving...

“Are we doing the right thing here?” Clarke asked for the sake of not being alone with her thoughts.

Nobody needed to ask what Clarke was referring to, so Octavia looked down into the fire instead of answering. The girl might not care much for the people who had imprisoned her in the Sky Box for the crime of being born and had executed her mother for birthing her. And Octavia might currently be embracing the Grounder culture, but The Hundred had been through enough to stand together against anything and anyone who threatened them. A massive army wasn’t going to change that sense of camaraderie.

_But what Finn had done..._

“He killed elders and children.” Lincoln factually stated. “He’s a murderer.”

And of course Clarke knew this. She had been there for the end of it, after all. She had watched while Finn stood over the dead bodies, too shocked at what she was seeing to immediately do anything. Finn had told her that it had been an accident and then he had lead her into that bunker where yet another unarmed body lay.

 _How could it_ possibly _have been an ‘accident’?_

“We’re all murderers...” Clarke uncomfortably murmured.

She had killed all those Grounders outside of the Drop Ship, hadn’t she? Bellamy and Finn had still been out there and she had closed the door unable to wait for them any longer. Clarke would’ve killed them too so that the others would survive. It was the guilt over that choice that made it so difficult to send Finn to his death - yet again - as sacrifice for their people’s safety.

“Why haven’t they called for _my_ head then, for all the deaths I’d caused? All those burnt bodies?” She guiltily asked Lincoln.

Clarke couldn’t just sit there and decide Finn’s innocence when her own hands were soaked in Grounder blood. She would gladly give herself up if it would mean a truce.

“You defended yourself against warriors who attacked you.” Lincoln answered. And it was very clear that though he had been ostracised from his village, he still cared about his people. “Finn _massacred_ eighteen unarmed people who posed no threat to him.”

Clarke could understand Lincoln’s anger. She felt that way about Dante Wallace. But at the moment, they were all trapped at Camp Jaha, surrounded by their enemy, while her people were possibly being bled to death in that mountain, while they refused to give Finn up. They shouldn’t even be fighting each other. They should be standing together against the Mountain Men. It’s what Anya had agreed was best. Anya had said that the Commander would help. That the Commander would listen.

“Would Indra agree to meet with us?” Clarke asked Lincoln. “Anya said that she would help. Her people are in the mountain as well. Together, we might stand a chance.”

“That’s not Indra’s decision to make.” Lincoln answered, looking slightly perplexed.

“But Anya said that the Commander would listen. That she would help.” Clarke frowned, not believing that Anya would’ve lied to her. The woman had been nothing but glaringly blunt during their interactions.

“Heda will listen. Heda will decide.” Lincoln agreed with a firm nod.

Clarke figured that Heda meant Commander in his language and it only made her more confused.

“But you just said that it’s not Indra’s decision to make?”

“Indra is not Heda.” Lincoln seemed to understand where the misunderstanding was, but Clarke was more puzzled than ever.

“But Anya said...”

“ _Onya_ spoke true.”

“So Kane...” Clarke abruptly realised where the miscommunication came from, got up and walked into the Ark.

She found Kane with her mother and Major Byrne discussing Camp Jaha’s defensive and offensive capabilities. All three of them looked up at her as though she was intruding and stopped their strategising to expectantly stare at her.

“Sorry.” Clarke mumbled with a sigh, deciding not to remind them that she knew more about the ground than all three of them combined. “I just have a question for Kane. It’ll take like a second.”

Kane just nodded for her to go ahead.

“When you were held captive, did anyone explicitly state that this Indra person was the Commander?”

Kane looked as though he was about to say yes, but then he closed his mouth and tilted his head in thought. After awhile of contemplation he frowned and shook his head.

“I had just assumed that she was referring to herself in the third person. She seemed to be the one in charge, though. The warriors followed her orders without question.”

Clarke nodded sagely.

“Lincoln says that Indra isn’t the Commander. That the Commander might be willing to talk to us; to negotiate.” She hopefully told them; maybe nobody else needed to die. Maybe Finn didn’t need to die for there to be peace.

“So where do we find this Commander?” Byrne asked.

And Clarke realised that maybe she’d jumped the gun and should’ve prepared better before going to them with the information. Her mother still looked at her as though she was a child, instead of the leader Clarke had been required to become to close to a hundred delinquents. And this mistake wasn’t going to change that perception.

“If I find out from Lincoln, will you consider opening negotiations with them?” Clarke bargained.

“ _We_ will find out how to contact the Commander.” Abby asserted. “And we will attempt to open negotiations. Thank you for the information, Honey.” She lovingly smiled and even though it made Clarke’s eye twitch, she didn’t say anything to that.

“Though I believe that this Commander might be open to negotiations, Indra had made it very clear that they would require us to handover Finn first.” Kane stated. “I doubt that they would listen to anything we have to say while we refuse to do that.”

He sounded resigned to their fate. That they would fight in this upcoming war. Major Byrne was the one to state that maybe they should reconsider surrendering Finn, Kane rebutted that their people might see it as a betrayal to their own and lose trust in the Council’s ability to protect them in the long run. Abby added that they were responsible for Finn’s life and had already failed him and the rest of the Hundred when they had sent them to Earth. And then the three of them restarted the debate that had been going on for seemingly ever, and Clarke took that as her cue to slip out of the room.

* * *

 

When Clarke finally made her way outside again, she realised just how late into the night it was. In the distance, the thousands of torch lights still eerily flickered as if to remind them all of the threat. Yet most of the camp had retreated to their rooms inside. Perhaps they were hiding, or getting a good night’s rest before their imminent demise. Clarke wasn’t sure, but the only people outside, were a few heavily armed guards walking the perimeter of the fence, Finn and Murphy seated at a table off to the side, and Raven, sitting alone by the fire that Clarke had earlier vacated.

Mustering up her courage, Clarke started walking toward Raven, but stopped when the hair at the back of her neck prickled and Clarke had the unsettling feeling that she was being watched. She instantly spun back around to look at Finn, but he had his back to her – thankfully – and Murphy was staring down into his cup of moonshine as though it held the secrets to life.

Clarke then let her gaze wander up at the Ark Station, noticing for the first time just how creepy it looked, especially at night.  When her eye caught movement in the shadows at the top of the large structure, she started and looked around to see whether any of the guards had noticed and then back up again into the eerie darkness.

Clarke stared for a long moment, but noticed nothing more and thought that perhaps it was just sleep deprivation causing her mind to play tricks on her. She couldn’t even remember when last she had slept. Being passed out as a result of a concussion hardly counted. So if not a result of weariness and/or being knocked in the head one too many times, the shadow might have been a bird. But it seemed too big for that... It had been about the size of a man... Yet there was no way that anyone would’ve been able to climb up that high...

Huffing out a self-deprecating chuckle, Clarke just shook her head at herself. She was just trying to stall the conversation she intended to have with Raven with this needless pondering on shadows. Best case scenario was that Raven would kill her swiftly after hearing what Clarke had to say.

“Hey.” Clarke warily greeted and sat down on the opposite side of the fire, hoping that a barrier of flames would slow Raven down enough for Clarke to escape an attack.

“Hey.” Raven murmured, not looking up from where she was staring at the fire as though in a trance.

Nervously, Clarke cleared her throat, and drew in a fortifying breath.

“If you had done something wrong...” She hesitantly started. “And you felt guilty about it...” Raven looked up at her then. “Especially because it endangered your entire people...” Clarke worried her lip while Raven just continued to blankly stare at her. “Wouldn’t you want to make it right? Wouldn’t you sacrifice yourself to protect everyone else?”

Clarke exhaled harshly and braced herself. But Raven remained staring down at the flames. Clarke waited with baited breath as Raven then looked toward Finn for a long moment and then back to the fire again.

“Yes.” Raven finally admitted with a resigned sigh and Clarke finally relaxed somewhat.

She wondered whether she or Raven even knew Finn at all. Clarke could admit that she had been bitter when she’d found out that Finn hadn’t told her about Raven. And then pompously, Clarke had enjoyed the fact that he had still chased after her even though Raven had arrived on the Ground. Clarke had been flattered. She had felt wanted. Clarke had felt loved.

But who exactly loved her? They’d known each other for a whirlwind two weeks before succumbing to their attraction. How could any of that have been real?

Finn was in the Sky Box because his actions had burnt up three months’ worth of oxygen. The three hundred sent floating would still be alive if the Ark still had those reserves. He had taken off his safety harness and the two idiots who followed his lead caused them to crash the Drop Ship without communications. He had flirted with Clarke right off the bat and had even come on to Octavia as well. Finn hadn’t once mentioned Raven, who was so devoted to him that she’d volunteered to go on a probable suicide mission to be with him again. Raven who had punched a man twice her size to defend Finn after what he had done in that village.

And still, Finn would risk Raven’s life, all of their lives, to save his own. And the irony was that should the Grounders attack, Finn would probably be their main target and die regardless.

“I’m going to ask Finn to give himself up.” Clarke tentatively revealed.

Raven slowly nodded, still blindly staring into the fire.

“He wasn’t the one who wasted all that oxygen.” Raven confessed. “It was an accident and he took the blame for me because I’d just turned eighteen and would’ve been floated.” She thickly swallowed. “He saved my life twice that day.”

And all at once Clarke understood why Raven held on so tightly and why she defended so passionately. Maybe Raven had come to the Ground for Finn but also to make sure that Earth was survivable for the rest of the Arkers after what she had inadvertently caused.

Clarke’s heart ached even more, because that still didn’t change anything. Somehow it made it that much worse.

“He’s not Finn anymore.” Raven whispered, and Clarke absently nodded even though she had realised that she barely knew Finn enough to make such a comparison.

“He said that he did it for you.” Raven continued. “He said that he killed all of those people for _you_.”

Raven looked up with watery eyes, burning with rage. Clarke wasn’t sure whether Raven’s anger was directed at Clarke or Finn or the situation. Probably all of them, and Clarke really couldn’t blame her for it.

“If you ask him, he’ll sacrifice himself for you too.” Raven sneered even while tears rolled down her cheeks.

Clarke swallowed painfully at the knot in her throat, but she didn’t say anything else. She just sat there for a long time after, unable to offer Raven any comfort. Not knowing how to, or whether an attempt would even be welcomed, but also not wanting to leave her alone in that moment. Even now, Finn had abandoned her to go and wallow in self-pity and alcohol.

Clarke had intended to go and speak to Finn, but before she knew it, she’d succumbed to her exhaustion, lulled by the soothing heat of the fire and the flickering of the flames, and had fallen fast asleep, head resting back against the log she was seated against.

* * *

 

_"Jus drein jus daun. Jus drein jus daun. Jus drein jus daun.”_

The loud droning of over a thousand voices was what woke Clarke from her sleep. After noticing the early light of dawn, she jumped up from her spot at the fire and noticed Raven curled up next to the dying embers. Looking around, Clarke could see Finn and Murphy still at the table, but sleeping with their heads on their arms resting on its surface. The sun was just peaking over the mountain tops and an eerie mist had settled all around Camp Jaha.

Yet Clarke still spotted the two masked Grounders, seated on their horses outside of the gate. Her mother and Kane were busy talking to them.

“We’re not giving him up. We’re ready to fight if that’s what it comes to.” She heard Abby tell the horsemen, who instantly turned around and galloped off.

_Shit._

Clarke scrambled to her feet and ran toward Finn.

“Finn!” She urgently shook him awake.

 “Clarke.” Finn broadly smiled, blinking sleepy eyes at her and Clarke’s heart clenched with guilt.

“You need to give yourself up.” She cut right to the chase. “A lot of people are going to die because of what you did. It’s the right thing to do.” Clarke tried to convince the both of them.

Finn’s brows knitted together, but then he nodded his agreement and rose to his feet.

“Just thought I’d try and enjoy my last day on the Ground.” He charmingly smiled again and the pain in Clarke’s chest grew only worse.

“ _Jus drein jus daun! Jus drein jus daun!_ _Jus drein jus daun_!” The chanting seemed to grow louder or the army was getting closer. They hadn’t been positioned that far to begin with...

“Go say goodbye to Raven.” Clarke commanded. “I’m going to tell the Chancellor to call off this war.”

Clarke didn’t wait for him to reply, instead she hurried over to where her mother was speaking to Byrne and Kane presumably to get everyone armed and ready.

“Finn’s gonna give himself up. We have to send someone to tell Indra that.” Clarke promptly explained.

Abby still looked apprehensive. Clarke knew it was because her mother had devoted her life to saving people. That sending someone to their death was something which intrinsically clashed with her nature. But then again, her mother also understood sacrifice for the greater good... Clarke and her father were perfect examples of that and now Abby was hesitating out of guilt. Clarke knew that kind of guilt too. Finn had done what he did because of her, it was the reason she felt as though she should protect him, but she needed to protect everyone else too.

“If we don’t let him go, many of us will die in this war. We might _all_ die.” Clarke reasoned. “And then everyone up at Mount Weather will die too.”

Abby looked to Kane, who nodded and then they both turned to Byrne.

“We’ll ask Lincoln if he would go as emissary.” Abby suggested and the Major quickly hurried to retrieve Lincoln.

Clarke let out a sigh of relief, choosing not to look in the direction of where Finn and Raven were quietly talking – saying goodbye. Lincoln and Octavia appeared a few moments later. Word had apparently spread around the camp, because everyone was looking relieved as they filtered out into the dawn even though the chanting outside of the gates was still unnerving enough to keep them from fully relaxing.

“Clarke, I think there’s something you need to know.” Octavia whispered next to her and the blonde turned to her friend, instantly worried at the tone. “Lincoln told me that their Heda –“ Octavia cut herself off with an incredulous chuckle, “- He said that their Heda is... well... _different_ to what one might expect.”

Clarke lifted a brow, trying to remain patient even while she was practically crawling in her skin to get word to Indra that they’re surrendering Finn.

“Different how?” She absently urged, staring at Lincoln and her mother hurriedly talking.

“I dunno why I’m even telling you this, it’s completely fucking ridiculous –

\- What was _that_!?” One of the gate guards suddenly yelled, cutting Octavia off, his rifle pointed toward the sky at seemingly nothing.

Everyone mechanically looked up, searching the bright orange sky and then they all saw the shadow swooping - lightning fast - over the camp, before disappearing behind the station. Lincoln stepped back from Abby then, staring at them with wide-eyed apprehension.

“It’s too late now.” He ominously whispered.

And Clarke wanted to ask him why and what the hell was going on, but the shadow was back, gaining everyone’s attention as it landed, crouched, onto the ground in the middle of camp. The Arkers all stared, frozen in shock, as the figure then straightened up to its full height.

It was a woman, Clarke realised. A tall woman, dressed in the same warrior leathers all the Grounders wore but without the heavy armour. The pommel of a katana was visible from behind a head of long brown curls. But all everyone could gape at though, were her jet black wings that had spread up toward the sky. Clarke’s eyes glittered in awe at the magnificent wings which spanned as long as the woman stood tall. Her back was ramrod straight and her eyes were as dark as night; an inky blackness which overtook the entirety of her eyeballs.

“ _Heda_...” Lincoln murmured in reverence and fell to his knees.

“Oh my god it’s true...” Octavia breathed out in shock and awe.

 _Angel of Death_ was Clarke’s last thought, before a cacophony of gunfire broke out, aimed directly at the Heda of the Twelve Clans.

* * *

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke was ushered halfway into the Ark by her mother in an attempt to shelter a still stunned Clarke’s body with her own, while chaos erupted all around Camp Jaha. The guards only stopped firing when the creature took flight again in a dark flurry and disappeared out of sight. Though clearly shaken by the strange encounter, the guards remained poised and at the ready, aiming their weapons at the sky with wide fearful eyes.

“You need to tell them to stop, or we’ll all die.” Lincoln desperately warned from his position on the ground, but his words were barely out and the shadow was back, moving freakishly fast as it swooped down and picked up one of the gate guards, carrying him up high into the sky... Up and up... and then the creature just released her grip.

Clarke clamped her eyes shut and cringed away when the guard heavily thudded against the ground, heaving up a cloud of dust all around his flaccid body. A second later the creature dropped down in a crouch next to him with a vicious hiss in the direction of the stunned guards. The rapid firing resumed and a second guard wasn’t taken up into the sky, instead Clarke heard a blade singing through the air and the guard’s head was effortlessly severed from his body. When the decapitated head landed on the ground, it rolled a few times, before his body joined it in a wilted heap at the Heda’s booted feet.

Bullets seemed to do nothing to stop her. They weren’t even slowing her down. It’s only been a few seconds and two people were already dead.

“Hold your fire!” Clarke frantically screamed, and looked to her mother with pleading eyes when no one listened to her.

“Hold your fire!” Abby shouted as well, eyes wide as she looked to the creature who stood, wings neatly folded behind her now; feathery tips brushing at the back of her ankles. A bloodied sword was in her hand and obsidian eyes glared at the rifles still pointed toward her. A low, guttural, growl resonated all throughout the camp, emanating presumably from the creature’s chest. It sounded like that panther they had encountered when they had found Jasper strung up against a tree.

Clarke walked forward on trembling legs, hands held up in supplication, movements purposely slow.

“We’ll give you the murderer!” Clarke shakily shouted, a cold chill running down her spine when the creature slowly moved its head and those dark eyes settled on her. “He’ll go willingly; he’s shamed by his actions!”

Clarke then directed a pleading look at Finn who had been covering Raven’s body with his own against possible friendly fire. He nodded, also raising his hands and stepping away from Raven and toward the Heda. The creature’s eyes remained on Clarke though, head eerily cocked to the side while it studied her.

“They speak true, Heda!” Lincoln shouted from where he was _still_ on his knees on the ground. “They were going to send me to deliver him to you!”

The Heda then looked to Lincoln. Blindly, she sheathed her sword at her back, extended a delicate hand, palm turned up, and then motioned for him to rise, which Lincoln did as though the action itself had compelled him upright.

She looked smaller now, with her impressive wings tucked behind her back, Clarke noticed, but then the Heda was walking – prowling? – taut, toned muscles rippling and still poised for attack.

The Heda looked toward Raven’s hands, desperately clutching onto Finn’s arm again, but didn’t falter in her approach. Raven let out a watery sob when Finn soothingly patted her hand and gently dislodged himself from her grip. 

When the Heda was standing an arm’s length away, she swiftly grabbed Finn by his throat and then she bent her knees and leapt high into the air, pulling him up into the sky with her; Raven screaming in shocked despair.

Clarke could only watch as the creature flew off in the direction of the Grounder camp; large jetblack wings, brilliantly shining in the early morning sunlight.

* * *

 

“You need to apologise.” Lincoln warned Abby, while everyone was still staring up into the sky after the Heda who had already disappeared from sight.

Octavia had gone to comfort Raven, who was sobbing in a tiny heap on the ground and Clarke was just grateful that it didn’t have to be her to attempt any comfort.

“What _was_ that?” Bellamy wondered out loud what everyone else was thinking.

“That was Heda.” Lincoln answered as though it explained everything.

“But what _is_ she?” Abby tried to get more details.

“Heda is the leader of the Twelve Clans.”

Bellamy actually groaned out loud.

“Yeah... but what the fuck _is_ she? She has freaking _wings_!” He exclaimed. “And how have you never thought to mention that to us before?”

“Heda is what Heda is.”

And Clarke would’ve laughed at the explanation if she hadn’t been completely and utterly terrified by what she had just seen.

“Would she listen to an apology?” Clarke asked instead.

Lincoln shrugged.

“Youdeclined a truce, declared war and then you gave up the murderer. You are still at war if you don’t make it clear to Heda that you surrender.”

“Surrender?” Kane asked. “And what happens after we surrender?”

“That’s for Heda to decide.”

Clarke sighed. They were clearly not going to get any answers from Lincoln who didn’t seem to quite fathom how strange their leader’s appearance and abilities were to the Sky People.

“Will you go and request a meeting please?” Clarke asked him, ignoring the way her mother bristled at her taking charge of the situation.

Lincoln just nodded and went over to presumably inform Octavia of where he was going.

“Marcus and I will go.” Abby predictably tried to protect her daughter.

“I’ll go with you.” Clarke stated. “I convinced Finn to give himself up. I stopped her from continuing to slaughter our people. I’m going with you so that I can tell her about the Mountain and Anya. And ask for her help.”

“So we’re just going to ignore the fact that she had freaking wings and moved faster than anything I’ve ever seen...” Bellamy muttered to himself.

“You gonna come too?” Clarke smirked at him.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, Princess.” He winked at her with a large lopsided grin.

Maybe the Ground had turned them into adrenaline junkies, Clarke thought, as they all geared up to go and negotiate with the Grounder creature.

* * *

 

Lincoln had returned with news that the Heda would only speak with the Leader of the Sky People. They spent close to an hour arguing, till Clarke finally won on the bases that she had been the one to actually escape Mount Weather with Anya and therefore actually had information to trade. Abby was not happy, considering what they’d seen the creature capable of doing. But then again, Clarke would still have been in danger if the Heda was just a normal human Grounder. And Clarke was still in danger since they were apparently still at war.

Clarke had given up on asking Lincoln to explain what their leader was exactly, and later she was shown into a large tent, by one of the biggest men Clarke had ever seen. The Heda was seated on a backless chair, legs crossed at the knee, wings slightly puffed to spread just passed her shoulders. Behind her sat a sculpture seemingly constructed of various antlers, creating an image that was both savage and regal.

The Heda’s hair was longer than Clarke had realised and decorated with intricate braids falling to mid-waist, the same type of beaded braids Clarke had noticed in the large Grounder’s beard. She seemed so young up close, early twenties maybe. Her features were almost elfish in nature, but it was the unexpected green of her eyes that made her look more human now. It tipped the scales away from the demonic and more to the angelic.

Clarke’s knees still shook though as she walked toward the elevated chair, but she halted in her tracks when the large bearded man took a threatening step toward her. The message was made clear from his glare: _close enough_.

Clarke contemplated whether she should bow or not, but instead opted to just respectfully duck her head in greeting.

“Thank you for seeing me, Heda.” Clarke croaked and had to clear her throat, wondering whether the woman – thing? – could even understand her. “I apologise for the misunderstanding this morning. It had been our intention to handover Fi- the murderer- and we hope that the truce between us will be reconsidered.”

The large man muttered something in Trigedasleng that made the Heda smirk and Clarke jumped at a loud scoff at her back and turned to notice a dark skinned woman standing there. Upon realising that her back was now to the creature, Clarke quickly spun back around, to see big green eyes twinkling with amusement.

Clarke scowled and was just about to ask whether Lincoln could come in to translate for her, when the angel spoke:

“My people feel that you only want a truce now that you have come to realise the futility of resisting me, _Alehan._ ”

The Heda’s voice was soft, almost delicate, and so human sounding. Clarke wasn’t sure what she had expected exactly. For her to communicate via growls and snarls?

“ _Alehan_?” She accidently wondered out loud. “My name’s Clarke.”

“And where is it that you come from... _Klark_?” A small smile spread over the Heda’s pouty lips and Clarke wondered how she was managing to become more beautiful by the second. Was this one of her supernatural powers? Daze and confuse her enemies with her looks? Clarke’s fingers were literally itching to sketch her.

“Did you not fall from the Sky and onto my land?” The Heda elaborated.

“When the bombs hit, ninety seven years ago, they believed that the human race wouldn’t survive –

\- I know why you were up in the sky, _Alehan_.” The Heda interrupted. “It is you who seems to forget that you are _not_ from Earth.” She smirked, eyes still glittering with humour.

And then it hit Clarke.

“Alien.” She sighed. “You’re calling me an alien. Kinda ironic when I’m more human than you are.”

 _Fuck_.

It had just slipped out. Something about the Heda just made Clarke feel defensive. She braced herself for attack, but all she got was a soft, husky, chuckle that almost knocked Clarke off of her feet anyway.

“I was not questioning your humanity, _Alehan_.” The Heda smirked. “I had merely been eluding to your...” She trailed off and tilted her head as she searched for the right word, while Clarke tried to not stare at her long, elegant neck. “...citizenship.” The Heda eventually decided upon.

Clarke stood taller instantly.

“My great-grandfather, like his father before him, is from this land. Two generations of Griffins had worked on building the United States section of the Ark before it was launched on D-Day to save our people from a nuclear holocaust. That means that I _am_ a citizen of Earth and of this land.” She proudly relayed.

The Heda’s lips parted into a frightening grin. Frightening only because of the two large canines they revealed and Clarke had to forcibly plant her feet into the ground to keep from hightailing it out of that tent.

“ _Legislation_ would have supported direct blood relations as a sound argument for citizenship.” The Heda nodded sagely. “But currently, there exists no law-making body to support your claim. In fact, _Alehan_ , _I_ am the law on these lands.” She menacingly grinned and Clarke gulped.

It was fast becoming clear that the thing – person – seated in front of her, wasn’t just some mindless killing machine that the Grounders unleashed onto their enemies. The Heda was intelligent, articulate, achingly _gorgeous_ and it made her all the more terrifying.

“We had no idea that there was anyone left alive on Earth.” Clarke restarted, trying to sound as humble as possible. “Therefore we didn’t know that we were trespassing on anyone’s lands. For that we apologise and only ask that you allow us to remain at our camp and that our people may live together in peace.”

The Heda tilted her head again - the action almost bird-like even though her every other movement screamed feline - and studied Clarke for a long moment that had sweat trickling down the blonde’s spine under the intense scrutiny.

“And what do _I_ gain from so graciously allowing your invasion?” The Heda finally smirked.

“We will help you get your people from the Mountain Men.”

“Foolish girl!” The woman Clarke had completely forgotten about, suddenly shouted behind her, making Clarke jump and turn around to face her. “Those who are captured by the _Maunon_ are dead or they are turned into _Ripas_. They are lost forever!”

“They are being kept in cages!” Clarke argued, but looked back to the Heda. “That’s where I found Anya and we both escaped the mountain. She was bringing me to you, so that our people could stand together against the Mountain Men.” Clarke desperately tried to explain, feeling the situation getting fast out of hand.

“ _Onya_ burned in the fire that you started, _Skaigada_!”

“ _Em pleni_ , Indra.” The Heda calmly directed at the woman who instantly stopped her threatening advance, and Clarke, in turn, let out a visible and audible breath of relief.

‘Indra’ dipped her head toward the Heda and backed off. Clarke could see now why Kane had thought her to be the Commander at first. Indra was fucking scary.

“ _Gon we oso_.” The Heda coolly spoke again and both the large man and Indra immediately left the tent.

Clarke should’ve felt safer with two less warriors to worry about, instead her heart pounded even more violently against her ribs as the Heda rose from her throne, her wings spreading just a little bit wider as she walked toward Clarke, who stood rooted in place.

“You will not speak about the Mountain to anyone but me. Do you understand, _Alehan_?” The Heda spoke softly, almost kindly, but the threat lay in the intensity of her eyes. Large blown pupils stared Clarke down from only inches away and Clarke couldn’t help but remember the inky abyss that had glared at the guards that morning when the Heda had come for Finn.

Clarke nodded quickly.

“ _Gud gada_.” The Heda practically purred and took a step back, allowing Clarke to breathe again. “Come to me with a plan to disable the fog and we may work together to free our people.”

Clarke only nodded again. The Grounders didn’t seem as aware of the situation at Mount Weather as their leader clearly was.

“You will stay until after the Cutting Ceremony.” The Heda commanded. “You will then have until tomorrow at sunset to tell me of your plan, or I will kill every single one of your people.” She coldly grinned. “You may wait outside with _Gostos_ until it is time to begin.”

Clarke absently nodded, wondering whether Kane should’ve rather come in her place; whether she’d just made everything worse. But she left the tent anyway, deep in thought as to how in the hell they were going to disable the acid fog.

* * *

 

“Uh... I’m supposed to wait with Couscous until the Cutting Ceremony?” Clarke nervously told the very large man and Indra standing outside of the tent while they watched a long pole being erected a few yards away.

“ _Gostos_.” The large man grumbled, pointing at himself.

Honestly, Clarke had barely heard the Heda say his name as her brain had already started going into overdrive.

“Gustus?” Clarke tried again and he just shrugged while Indra grunted her derision and looked away from them.

Clarke decided to stay quiet before she upset Indra even more, and instead looked around the massive Grounder camp to see whether she could spot Finn. She didn’t have to search for long as he was brought toward the pole and was then tied up against it, hands behind his back. Finn’s eyes widened in panic when he saw her there, and Clarke offered him a small reassuring smile that didn’t seem to do anything to calm him. She was surprised that Finn hadn’t been beaten up, the only visible marks on him were the bruises on his neck from where the Heda had grabbed him.

Thinking of which, the angel – woman – soon slipped out of the tent and stood beside Clarke, while Gustus and Indra moved to gather with a few others in front of Finn. The Heda had put black kohl on her face, like most of her warriors wore. It was almost like a mask she’d slipped on, making her green eyes darker and more dangerous looking as she stoically stared over her people.

“I mean no offense, Heda.” Clarke tentatively started after just staring at her for a while. “But you know that my people haven’t been on Earth in a very long time, and before we had left, creat - _people_ – like yourself, only existed in books... May I ask...” Clarke was really struggling not to insult her. “...how... uh... are you able to fly?” She settled on that, instead of ‘what the fuck _are_ you’.

“I have wings.” The Heda’s lips twitched into the beginnings of a smirk, still staring ahead of her and not at the curious blonde at her side.

Clarke suppressed a frustrated growl. The woman was making this difficult on purpose.

“And how did you get your wings?” She tentatively asked. “You were born with it.” Clarke answered herself just as the Heda replied exactly that, but turned her head to smile when Clarke had predicted her response. The grin caused the Heda’s eyes to crinkle slightly at the corners and Clarke got a little lost while staring at her stunning face.

The Heda was _definitely_ becoming more beautiful by the second.

“What about you makes it so that you have those wings, when nobody else does?” Clarke ventured again and the smile gently slipped off of the Heda’s face and much to Clarke’s relief was not replaced with anger, but a very neutral expression. Which admittedly was only slightly less unsettling, because Clarke now had no idea what the woman was feeling at her prying.

“You wish to know what I am?”

Clarke warily nodded.

“I am a monster.” The Heda softly replied for Clarke’s ears only, turning her full attention and body onto the inquisitive blonde. “A demon. A goddess.” She arrogantly smirked. “My people worship me and they fear me, but above all, they respect me.” She lifted her chin, looking down through her long dark lashes at Clarke. “I am Sentinel. I am Justice. I am Vengeance...” She ducked her head till they were eye-to-eye. “... I am _Heda_.” She decisively proclaimed. “That is all that you need to know, _Alehan.”_

It was only when the Heda moved away and looked to her people again that Clarke realised that she’d been holding her breath the entire time those green eyes had been piercing into hers and boldly struggled not to loudly gasp for air, once the need for oxygen burnt her lungs.

But Indra started toward Finn with a large knife and Clarke stiffened and her heart stopped with a painful jolt through the chest. She’d almost forgotten what would happen next. Lincoln had explained the process, it was why they had been so reluctant to give Finn up. The families of the eighteen victims would now have their retribution as they cut into Finn.

_Blood must have blood._

Every part of Clarke wanted to scream at them to stop when Indra made the first cut, slowly dragging her blade across his stomach. By the fourth cut, Finn had started screaming in agony and Clarke was staring at the ground in front of her, trying to block him out, but then she could still hear Raven’s heart-wrenching cries all the way from Camp Jaha.

Tears blurred Clarke’s vision and she blinked them away, watching them fall into the sand at her feet. Clarke wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but she looked up again to see every Grounder in sight down on their knees, faces almost in the dirt while they softly chanted over and over again:

_“Heda... Heda... Heda... Heda...”_

Clarke startled slightly when the woman next to her moved forward, a threatening growl resonated throughout the camp while she slowly stalked toward Finn with a feline grace and an ominous obsidian glare.

He was still conscious, Clarke realised in dread, as Finn’s eyes widened in fear at the Heda’s predatory approach.

_“Heda... Heda... Heda... Heda...”_

Clarke watched as those magnificent wings pulled back like a butterfly’s, elongating and spreading only slightly up in the air. Slowly, the Heda extended a slender hand to gently take hold of Finn’s jaw.

 _“Jus drein jus daun, Kwelen Skat.”_ The Heda softly purred and tilted Finn’s head to the side to expose his neck. She then bared her long canines and sunk them deep into Finn’s throat.

The day had been way too long and it was all just too much for Clarke to digest.

_Vampire._

Was her final thought and then Clarke’s eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed onto the ground.

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Clarke woke in her quarters at Camp Jaha with a slight headache and an intense thirst she greedily quenched with the bottle of water she discovered on her bedside table. But once that basic need had been taken care of, everything that happened that day came violently crashing down on her.

“Shit. Shit. Shit. _Shit_...” Clarke muttered to herself while she quickly put on her shoes and jacket and then hurried out the door and ran smack into Bellamy who wrapped her in a tight hug.

“Whoa there, Princess!” He happily exclaimed and released her with a broad smile.

Clarke barely registered him.

“Where’s my mom? We don’t have much time.” She quickly asked, already marching down the corridor.

“After dinner she had to go check on a guard who got hit by a stray bullet, so I volunteered to check on you again.” Bellamy explained while patiently following after her.

Clarke stopped dead in her tracks.

“Dinner?!” She exclaimed, spinning around to face him. “It’s already _dinner_ time?”

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!_

“You need to get O, Lincoln and if she’s up to it, Raven.” Clarke urgently insisted. “I’ll go get Mom, Kane and Byrne and meet you all in the council room.”

“What’s going on, Clarke?” Bellamy asked. “We saw that thing eat Finn.” He grimaced.

“Eat?!” Clarke exclaimed, her stomach turning at the visuals. “She _ate_ him?”

“Uh, well, not exactly.” Bellamy sheepishly admitted, scratching at the back of his neck. “It was more like she was giving him a hickey, but when she turned away, Finn was dead and her mouth was covered in blood?” His retelling ended in a question and Clarke thought that Bellamy might know even less than she did about what happened during the Cutting Ceremony. “Lincoln said that the Heda took the blood of their enemies and the criminals of the clans.” Bellamy scoffed and rolled his eyes, like he still didn’t believe it, but they both know what they had seen.

“Okay...” Clarke murmured. “Just go get them please? We’re running out of time.”

Bellamy looked at her for a long moment, long enough for Clarke to awkwardly fidget under his gaze, needing to find her mother, but also not wanting to be rude and leave while he obviously still had something seemingly important to say.

“I’m glad you’re safe, Clarke.” Bellamy whispered and reached up to gently grasp Clarke’s arm. “When that Grounder carried you up to the gate, I thought they’d hurt you. But Abby confirmed that you’d just passed out.” He gently smiled and shifted his hand up to rest on Clarke’s shoulder, squeezing meaningfully.

And _oh, god no_. Clarke really didn’t have the time or the mental energy for the soft look in Bellamy’s eyes. Sure, she’d thought that he was attractive when she’d first seen him, despite that unfortunate hairstyle of his. But he’d been a major douchebag back when the Dropship had landed. And then they’d grown close as friends, until eventually he started feeling like the brother she never had. So no, Clarke definitely didn’t want to deal with this right now and gently moved away from the hand on her shoulder, smiling uneasily.

“I’m good, Bell.” Clarke awkwardly chuckled. “But soon none of us are gonna be, if you don’t go and get our friends and meet me in the council room.”

Bellamy just nodded with another big, relieved smile and hurried off.

* * *

 

Abby finally agreed to go to the council room after examining Clarke and clearing her from bed rest. She’d been worried at first that Clarke hadn’t woken up immediately, but careful monitoring had revealed that she was just fast asleep. She’d been physically and emotionally exhausted since her escape from Mount Weather.

Regardless of that prognosis though, there had also been the insanely awkward conversation on whether Clarke might be pregnant and the need to do some blood tests. Clarke was red in the face as she explained to her mother that the Mountain Men had been very thorough in their tests and that she was most definitely not pregnant. She suspected that her mother was only fishing for details on her love life. After all, Clarke had been running around without adult supervision with a bunch of delinquent boys for a couple of weeks now.

With that mortifying experience over and done with, Clarke was surprised and grateful to find Raven present in the council room but didn’t comment when the girl didn’t even look in Clarke’s direction when she entered.

“Heda has given us until sunset tomorrow evening to come up with a plan to disable the acid fog.” She cut right to the chase once everyone had settled in their seats.

“How the hell are we supposed to do _that_?” Octavia asked incredulously.

“What happens if we aren’t able to?” Kane wondered with a deep frown.

“She said she’d kill us all.” Clarke murmured and then turned to look at Lincoln along with everyone else. “Why doesn’t she just leave us alone? We’re not taking up that much space.”

“Why didn’t you ask Heda this?” Lincoln retorted very fairly.

Clarke groaned into her hands and rubbed her face while Lincoln let out a long suffering sigh.

“You’re unknown to our people. You’ve declared war. You have weapons and explosives. You’re a threat. Heda has given you a chance to become an ally. If you fail, she _will_ kill you to protect our people.” He said with an unerring confidence in his Heda.

“And she’s a _vampire_?” Abby doubtfully asked. Still struggling to believe what her own eyes had seen for themselves. “She drinks human blood?”

“She is Heda.” Lincoln deadpanned and Clarke and Bellamy burst out into a hysterical fit of giggles made worse by the fact that they were two doing the inappropriate laughing. Because Lincoln sitting there not getting _at all_ how weird their Heda was, was just all kinds of ridiculous.

“Okay.” Clarke tried to calm herself. “So if we don’t want to be killed tomorrow – wait a second,” she was struck with a thought based on a few Earth movies and books she’d come across, “do the people that Heda feeds on become vampires too?”

Her eyes were wide, joined by the others in the room as they all stared expectantly at Lincoln. Save for Octavia who clearly had an answer already. Even Raven’s gaze tilted up to look at him in a painful mixture of horror and hope.

“No.” Lincoln definitively answered while he stared back at them as though they were all insane.

They all let out a collective breath of relief at not having to deal with a Grounder army filled with vampires. Save for Raven, who couldn’t quite hide her disappointment.

“Back to the issue at hand.” Kane redirected. “How does she expect us to stop the acid fog without succumbing to it ourselves in an attempt to go to Mount Weather and disable it?”

“Maybe we can just call up the _Maunon_ and ask them to stop it with the fog already.” Octavia sarcastically retorted.

Clarke was then hit with an idea so hard that she jumped up from her chair, knocking it back onto the floor. She rested her hands on the table and just stared at Octavia for a moment.

“You’re a fucking _genius_ , O!” She excitedly exclaimed.

Clarke ignored her mother tutting at her bad language and addressed the others who were expectantly staring at her.

“We have people in Mount Weather. All we need to do is try and make contact with one of them. Preferably Monty.” Her excitement then drained from her, as she turned to look at Raven who looked up because she realised that she was probably the only one who could make this happen.

“I’ll work on a radio that’s strong enough to reach them.” Raven passively muttered, got up from her chair and summarily left.

Clarke dejectedly picked up her chair and sat back down again, a heavy silence having fallen around the room.

“How will Monty know to pick up when we call? And what if one of the Mountain Men answer?” Octavia finally broke it with some much needed logic.

“I dunno yet.” Clarke admitted. “But it’s something at least. Currently, I’m just thinking of what to tell Heda so we won’t all die tomorrow and then there’ll be no rescue mission in any case.”

“We need someone to go in undercover.” Bellamy grinned and Clarke was on board with the idea until she realised that he meant himself and then frowned, chancing a wary glance at Octavia who was predictably glaring at her brother.

“I’ll go.” Byrne volunteered.

“No offense, lady,” Bellamy sneered at her, “but those are _my_ people in that mountain. Not yours. You threw them away like trash, so you don’t get a say over them now.”

Clarke smirked at how taken aback their elders were at the hard truth of that. Bellamy was right though, they didn’t have much of a plan if they couldn’t get word to the right people inside of the mountain.

“And our people aren’t gonna trust anyone they don’t know.” Clarke expanded on Bellamy’s point. “So while Raven sorts out the radio, Bell and I will go through everything I know about the Mountain. We can study the maps to make sure he knows his way around once inside.”

Bellamy nodded and Octavia let out a resigned sigh. Clarke would’ve gone herself but President Wallace already knew her face. She’d be dead the second they spotted her.

“And how are you planning on getting Bellamy into the Mountain?” Abby asked.

And then they started brainstorming again until the early hours of the morning. The sun was almost coming up again when everyone finally settled on a suggestion Lincoln had come up with. Octavia was the hardest to convince as it would be both her brother and boyfriend that were at the forefront of this dangerous plan, but eventually conceded as they hadn’t been able to come up with any alternatives. It was either definitely die tomorrow, or maybe die later on. They didn’t have much of a choice if they wanted to survive.

After the lengthy meeting, Clarke fell asleep the instant her head hit her pillow, plagued with surprisingly pleasant dreams of pouty lips and soft feathers tickling across her skin.

* * *

 

She woke up passed noon. Ate. Ignored Bellamy’s sweetly subtle attempts at flirting and opted to go over the plan once again with Raven included. Clarke wasn’t sure whether she was expected to go to the Grounder camp to explain the plan to the Heda or not. Abby wasn’t keen on letting her through the gates alone and Clarke wasn’t sure that taking the amount of trigger happy guards her mother had insisted go with her, was such a great idea. But Lincoln assured them that if Heda had stipulated sunset, that she would come to Clarke at sunset for an answer.

Sure enough, just as the sun hit the tip of the mountain tops, the Heda came soaring through the sky and gracefully landed outside the gates of Camp Jaha where Clarke had been anxiously pacing on the other side.

_Vampire._

It hit Clarke all over again as her anxious heart threatened to hammer straight out of her chest. She could see everyone else reflexively tensing and halting in their motions, even though the Heda was just patiently standing there, staring at Clarke in that unnervingly stoic way she had. Her gorgeous face once again clear of war paint.

The blonde needlessly motioned everyone back and walked through the gates, almost rolling her eyes when her mother accompanied her. Clarke said nothing, instead focusing all of her energy on breathing normally and not fainting again in front of the vampire angel that could/might kill every single one of her people.

“Good evening, Heda.” Clarke shakily greeted once she and her mother were standing side-by-side in front of the magnificent creature.

The Heda ignored Clarke and turned her impassive stare to Abby, who could do nothing but shift uncomfortably under the intense gaze. Clarke was sort of proud of her mother that she hadn’t run off or fallen to her knees yet, because the Heda was somehow giving off an even more predatory vibe than she had done the day before.

“You are a very beautiful woman, _Nomon kom Alehan.”_ The Heda softly rasped, taking both Clarke and her mother by surprise at the random statement, delivered with such a stoic expression. Save for the actual words, it hadn’t sounded like a compliment at all. “But I have made it very clear that I will only speak to the leader of the Sky People.” She turned her attention on Clarke then, who nervously swallowed. “That is you, is not, _Strik Alehan_?” The Heda tilted her head in question. “Or had you lied to me?”

And both Clarke and Abby recognized the question for the threat that it was and was quick to assure the Heda that Clarke was indeed the leader of her people. The Heda then turned to Abby again who had been studying her with unmasked curiosity, eyes flicking over the wings tucked behind the Heda’s back. Clarke thought that it was the scientist in her mother wanting to know everything about this ‘new species’ as Abby had referred to the Heda the evening before. She’d gone off on a twenty minute tangent on aerodynamics and the implausibility of the Heda being able to fly at all, let alone carry the added weight of Finn with her, until Kane had thankfully reminded Abby that there were more pressing matters to attend to.

“Leave us.” The Heda blankly commanded and Abby blushed, whether in embarrassment at being caught staring or at the curt dismissal, Clarke didn’t know, but her mother just nodded and after a wary look at Clarke, went to join the others a few yards away.

“Walk with me, _Alehan_.” The Heda instructed again and turned on her heel to casually stalk toward the looming forest.

Clarke sent a brief glance over her shoulder toward her worried mother and friends, and then hurried after the vampire.

“Don’t you want to know if we have a plan first?” Clarke asked after having caught up with the long purposeful strides on shaky legs. “Or are you gonna go kill me in the forest?”

“You do have a plan.” The Heda smirked.

“How can you possibly know that?”

“If you did not have a plan, you would not have come with me. Your people would have been pointlessly preparing to defend yourselves against an attack. Your _nomon_ would certainly not have let you out of her sight.”

Okay, that did make sense, if _nomon_ meant mother like Clarke had figured. She didn’t bother wondering long on how the Heda even knew about the familial relationship. Probably Lincoln had told her the day before.

“We do have a plan, yes, but before we get to that, I was wondering if it would be possible to get Finn’s body back; to be buried with our people.” Clarke couldn’t quite bring herself to refer to him as ‘the Murderer’ again; she was being weighed down by enough guilt as it was. Raven’s grief was not helping matters at all. “Please.” She added not wanting to seem too demanding.

“That is not possible.” The Heda bluntly replied.

Clarke repressed her frustrated sigh and contemplated the wisdom behind asking for an explanation.

“The Murderer’s body will be taken to _Tondisi_ to be cleansed through fire with his victims. As is the tradition of my people.”

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek to not argue it further. Burying their dead was a new tradition for the Sky People. On the Ark their loved ones had been floated. The lucky ones were able to say their goodbyes beforehand. Instead of a grave to visit, they were used to keeping mementos as a reminder of a life lost. Like she had her father’s watch for instance, the one Finn had retrieved for her. The one she would now forever associate with Finn and the horrible thing he had done... Raven would have the necklace Finn had made her. The same type of necklace Finn had given Clarke too. She felt herself growing bitter again; doubting again how real any of her storming emotions for Finn had been, but abruptly stopped herself. Finn was dead. Clarke had her people to worry about now, not her own insecurities.

They walked in silence for a few long minutes, the forest fast growing darker and Clarke’s nerves rapidly fraying at the thought that she might get her blood sucked dry at any moment.

“I will not feed on you, _Alehan_.” The Heda announced, as though reading Clarke’s thoughts.

Clarke stopped walking with a deepening frown. “Why not?” She asked and then spluttered when she realised that she almost sounded offended. “I-I just mean, as allies, what guarantee do I have that you won’t feed on me or my people?”

The Heda chuckled silkily and looked at Clarke as though she were a cute little puppy chasing her tail around in circles.

“I have yet to decide whether we will be allies, as you have yet to convince me that your people will be of use against the _Maunon_.”

Clarke blushed even while her irritation grew.

“We plan on sending a man into Mount Weather and then establish contact via a radio that one of our engineers is building.” Clarke explained. “Once we’ve opened communication between us and the mountain, our engineer will instruct him on how to disable the acid fog from the inside.”

The Heda nodded and Clarke relaxed somewhat now that there wasn’t some fault in the plan that the Heda might disagree with.

“How long will you need?” The Heda asked, and started walking back in the direction of camp and Clarke wondered what the purpose of the whole walk had been as they hadn’t even gone that far nor had Clarke elaborated much on the plan.

Her guess was that the Heda just enjoyed freaking her out.

“A few days.” Clarke shrugged. “Raven’s brilliant, so it shouldn’t take too long. We’re using the time to familiarise Bellamy and Lincoln with the facility’s layout and what to expect and be on the lookout for. Lincoln will pose as a Reaper and deliver Bellamy to the Mountain Men. When they come outside to take Bellamy, he and Lincoln will ambush them and enter the Mountain via the tunnel entrance. Lincoln will then set your people free from their cages, while Bellamy goes to establish contact with ours. While the Sky People work to sabotage Mount Weather’s defences by disabling the acid fog and whatever else they can do, your people will attack from the inside while we are notified via radio that the fog is down and launch an attack from the outside.” Clarke finished with a big grin. With all those angry Grounders unleashed, the battle might be over long before they even got inside the Mountain.

The Heda was quiet for a moment, seemingly lost in thought and Clarke was disappointed that she wasn’t more pleased with the plan. Clarke was proud of what they’d come up with in such a short amount of time. Lincoln – going against his Grounder beliefs and probably as a way to reciprocate the interest Octavia had shown in his culture too – had even been learning how to use a gun to make sure they have the upper hand during the ambush. They were counting heavily on the element of surprise, Bellamy’s impeccable aim and that an SMG can do a lot of damage in a very small amount of time.

But then they cleared the tree line and Clarke soon became distracted by the way the bright moonlight caught the Heda’s stunning face.

“Was it you in the shadows the night before you came for Finn?” Clarke cautiously wondered.

The Heda’s lips tilted in a mirthful smirk again.

“Yes.”

“Have you been watching us all this time? Since we first landed?”

“Only that first day, to assess the threat. I had trusted my people to take care of it. I had not counted on you being quite as resourceful as you have turned out to be.” The Heda smirked.

And there was the acknowledgement Clarke had unknowingly been craving, her spine straightening with pride.

“What were you doing at the station that night, then? Counting our numbers?” Clarke asked, trying not to show her satisfaction at having impressed the leader of the Twelve Clans.

“Your weapons are dangerous, _Alehan_.” The Heda murmured, brow slightly creasing. “So much like the _Maunon_...” She shook her head with a clear look of disapproval and distaste. “My people would have defeated you, but many would have been lost during such a battle. That night I had been familiarising myself with what I needed to do to prevent more losses and yes, that included assessing your numbers and weaponry before I attacked.”

“You would’ve killed us all yourself if we didn’t surrender Finn...” Clarke realised.

“I would have killed you all had I not heard your conversation and want to surrender the Murderer that night, regardless of your actions the following day.”

Clarke gulped nervously, thanking all of the deities she could think of that Raven had been sitting outside by the fire within earshot of the lurking Heda. But she still had no idea whether they were allies now or not. Or what the Heda’s intentions were.

“Are you going to eat us?” Clarke involuntarily whispered.

The Heda continued walking as though Clarke hadn’t blurted out her fear at all.

“I will convene the representatives of the Twelve Clans in _Tondisi_.” The Heda stated instead of answering. “You will meet with them in seven days. It is closer to _Maun-de_ and your men will leave from there once I determine it a suitable time and that the plan is sound.”

Clarke just nodded and looked up to see that they were only a few yards from Camp Jaha’s gates where her relieved mother and friends were still anxiously waiting behind them.

“You will also inform your people that they are to remain within their camp at all times.”

“So we’re prisoners?”

“Name it what you will, but these lands still belong to me. You had been ready to go to war only yesterday. I do not trust you. My people do not trust you. Your people will be safest if they remain behind their fences until we have brokered an alliance which pleases me.”

Clarke just nodded. They had already discussed the night before that nobody would leave camp. She just hadn’t wanted it to be mandatory. Kane had said that they were stocked up on enough rations for two more months, and though Clarke would miss fresh meat, her people would survive the confinement. They’d been surviving it for almost a century. What they may not survive, was pissing off the Heda or an angry Grounder they might run into in the woods.

“I do not eat people, _Alehan_.” The Heda stopped a few yards shy of Camp Jaha’s gates and turned toward Clarke with an amused smirk tilting at her lips. “I only drink their blood.”

Clarke’s stomach knotted uncomfortably and she felt like running, but the Heda’s green gaze kept her pinned to the spot.

“How frequently do you need to drink blood?” Clarke rasped through a tight throat, really not wanting to know the answers to her question, but she needed to figure out whether Camp Jaha had just become a blood farm for the Heda.

“Not frequently.” The Heda vaguely responded. “But I do tend to indulge myself on occasion.”

 _Oh god_.

Clarke had tried to look for any scars or wounds from the rain of bullets that had hit the Heda the morning before. But only a few hours later and she had shown no signs of being injured. Lincoln had called her immortal and invincible, and Clarke had yet to see anything to the contrary. Had yet to discover any weakness that they could possibly exploit to defend themselves should the Heda decide to attack again.

“Are you planning on drinking my people’s blood?” Clarke tentatively restated.

“I am not _planning_ on it, no.” The Heda smirked.

Clarke blew out a frustrated breath to which the Heda let loose a stunning grin and it felt as though Clarke literally melted at the way the Heda’s unnaturally gorgeous face lit up in spite of the two large canines reminding Clarke of what exactly was standing in front of her.

“I am Heda, _Alehan_.” She softly spoke and took a step closer. Clarke had never before met anyone who could successfully use eye-contact as a debilitating weapon. “I will do as I please, when I please.” She supremely stated. “You will do well to instruct your people of their place, as tomorrow you will be giving a prospective ally a tour of your foreign stronghold. Will this be acceptable?” The Heda very amicably asked as though it had been anything but a command.

“I would love to give you a tour of our home, Heda.” Clarke breathlessly murmured, because the Heda was now only inches away from her, smelling like fresh summer rain dusting a field of wild flowers... Like the crisp, clean scent of the wilderness Clarke hadn’t known and loved until she’d first stepped foot on the Ground.

The Heda’s lips tilted into a pleased smile, ducking her head ever so slightly till her nose was almost pressed to Clarke’s hair. She then blatantly sniffed at the blonde, causing an involuntary shiver down Clarke’s spine at the stifling proximity.

 _She’s a vampire. She’s a vampire. She’s a vampire._ Clarke uselessly attempted to make her body not react to the Heda in _that_ way.

“I hope that tomorrow you will be able to give your heart a reprieve from its frantic rhythm, _Alehan_.” The Heda softly rasped, pupils blown wide and dark. “I enjoy your company and do not wish to be robbed of it should you lose consciousness again.”

Clarke wasn’t sure what she was feeling: Embarrassment? Excitement? Flattered? Frightened? Could the Heda hear her heartbeat or was she just that good at reading people? Or had Clarke been stripped as bare and open as she felt in that moment? No matter her conflicting thoughts and emotions though, Clarke still flushed a bright red and the Heda chuckled lowly at the sight, before taking a merciful step back.

“Keep well, Klark of the Sky People.” The vampire gently murmured.

And Clarke only had a second to enjoy the sound of her name falling from the Heda’s lips - to almost taste the way the Heda’s tongue lusciously clicked over the K sounds - before the Heda had smoothly pushed up into the air and had flown off into the night.

* * *

 


	4. Chapter 4

“Where in the hell are they?” Bellamy muttered from his place in between Clarke and Octavia behind the electric fence in Camp Jaha.

They’d woken that morning to find the massive Grounder army had left, tents and all. The guards on duty hadn’t even noticed them moving. It had been overcast the night before and the torches hadn’t been lit. The guards had just assumed that this was because there was no longer a threat of war.

“She said that she would come by for a tour today.” Clarke murmured back, eyes still worriedly scanning the empty clearing and what this could possibly mean for their alliance. Almost alliance? Honestly, Clarke had no idea how they were fairing on that front with the Heda. “Maybe they just moved camp to somewhere less in the open?”

In unison, the two of them turned questioning eyes to Lincoln who just sighed.

“I don’t know what Heda’s intentions are any more than you do.” He answered the unspoken question, turned on his heel and walked off, Octavia rolling her eyes at them and following after Lincoln.

Clarke had to admit that she would’ve been irritated as well. They had a tendency to expect Lincoln to answer the most ridiculous questions and it was very clear that he was not comfortable with discussing his Heda.

“She got up real close in your space yesterday.” Bellamy awkwardly stated and Clarke purposely ignored the way his gaze softened on her the instant they were alone. “For a second there I thought she was going to bite you.”

“I think she was smelling me or something.” Clarke couldn’t quite stop the blush tinting her cheeks at the memory.

She’d spent most of the evening before drawing those enormous and enigmatic eyes, over and over again.

“Like you smell your food once it comes out of the oven?” Bellamy’s eyes filled with horror while his mouth twisted in disgust.

“No, I think it was something more... primal? Than that? Like she could smell my fear?” Clarke shrugged, much like Lincoln, she hadn’t a clue what went on in the Heda’s beautiful and deadly mind. For all she knew, she _had_ been scented to drink from later should it ‘please’ the Heda.

“She does give off this predatory vibe.” Bellamy nodded to himself. “She’s hot for a creature, but she also scares the living shit out of everyone. It’s like everyone’s attracted to her, but also have the instinct to runaway.”

Clarke nodded in relief that she wasn’t the only one experiencing the conflicting emotions. Though she didn’t want to speak to Bellamy about her unnatural attraction to the Heda and how Clarke couldn’t stop thinking about the vampire’s smile and her eyes instead of focusing on how she drinks blood and killed two of their people and Finn, like the other Arkers most probably were.

“How’s Raven doing?” Clarke quickly changed the topic. Her mind was consumed by the vampire enough without Clarke having conversations about her too.

“I think it’s good for her to have a project to work on. To keep busy.” Bellamy dolefully answered.

“Yeah... Do you think she’d be okay with seeing me?” Clarke wondered. Raven hadn’t even looked at her when they’d run through the plan again the day before.

“You didn’t kill Finn.” Bellamy stated, stepping closer and Clarke reflexively took a step back.

If Bell noticed, he didn’t say anything, but also didn’t attempt to close the distance between them again.

“But it’s because of me that he was in that village in the first place.”

“ _No_.” Bellamy snarled. “It was because of _him_ that he was in that village. I was looking for you too and _I_ didn’t kill a bunch of unarmed villagers in the process.”

Clarke bit her lip at the obvious bitterness in his tone and stared at the clearing again. Anyone else would say that Bellamy was upset because of the innocents who had died that day and the consequences of Finn’s actions. But Clarke was starting to think that maybe he was more bitter about the claim Finn had made on her. That everyone knew that Finn had lost his mind out of concern for Clarke when no one had acknowledged that Bellamy had been worried and searching as well. But instead of running off in a crazed desperation, Bell had done what Clarke would’ve done, what Clarke respected him for doing, and prioritized saving the people who needed him in that moment. She cared about Bellamy because of that and many other reasons, but still not in the way he seemed to want her to care about him now.

Very uncomfortably, Clarke cleared her throat to try and rid herself of the awkward.

“I’m gonna go take a look around the Grounder camp.” She announced. “And since Heda made it very clear that no one’s supposed to leave Camp Jaha, I’m not taking anyone with me.”

“ _You’re_ leaving.” Bellamy pointed out, apparently fine with the fact that Clarke had chosen to completely ignore his previous statement.

“She never said that _I_ couldn’t leave, just that ‘my people’ shouldn’t. And we also have a meeting scheduled that I will be confirming the time of if I’m somehow confronted as to why I’m in an empty clearing all by myself.” Clarke smugly smirked and Bellamy sighed in frustration but took off his SMG and slung it around Clarke’s neck even though she already had a handgun.

That was the difference between Bell and Finn. Both were protectors in their own way, but Bell trusted her judgement, he trusted Clarke to be able to take care of herself. During a battle, Bell would give her a weapon and cover her back where Finn would’ve just leapt in front of Clarke to stop any oncoming bullets.

“I’m giving you an hour.” Bellamy smirked. “If you’re not back by then, I’m coming after you and no hot creature’s going to stop me.”

Clarke wanted to tell him not to, mostly because she was uncomfortable with the apparent shift in his feelings for her, but she guessed it was a good idea to have back up in case things went wrong.

“Yes, Sir.” Clarke grinned with a mock salute and marched off, grateful that her mother was nowhere in sight to try and stop her.

* * *

 

There was nothing left in the clearing aside from numerous burnt out fire pits and heaps of horse droppings. Clarke walked further into the unchartered territory and halted once she discovered a singular tent stood in between a small crop of trees, somewhat camouflaged in the shade. The material of the tent was darker than the others had been, almost black in colour.

Her curiosity peaked, Clarke positioned the SMG to rest in front of her, loosely gripping it in her hands, and quietly crept forward. If there were any Grounders inside she would be able to defend herself if they were hostile, but also innocently let go of the weapon if they weren’t. Clarke wondered if there even was such a thing as a non-hostile Grounder, as she came to a halt outside of the mysterious tent.

“Hallo?” She softly called, as to not startle anyone into an attack.

Clarke couldn’t hear movement or talking from inside and stood intently listening for a few long moments. All she could hear though, was the breeze rustling through the trees and the birds in them loudly singing and chirping.

Taking a deep fortifying breath, Clarke convinced herself that the Grounders had probably just forgotten to take it, or didn’t have space to carry it with them, and carefully entered through the bulky leather strips which covered the entrance.

The tent seemed unoccupied at first, the thick material of the canopy somehow dulling the sound of the woods coming from outside. It was then that Clarke heard the soft purring coming from one corner of the tent. She had to cover a hand over her mouth to keep from yelping her fright when she noticed a large black wing reaching up into the air.

Clarke’s lips pulled into a big grin though when the soft purring was interrupted with a delicate snore every few moments. She noticed the Heda, eyes closed and face serene, laying mostly on her stomach, snuggled into a nest of furs. Only that one wayward wing extended into the air, while the other lazily rested half against the Heda’s back and half on the furs.

Clarke took a step back, ready to run, when the wing suddenly dropped down and was then curled over the Heda’s head as though the vampire was covering herself with a blanket. Clarke grinned again until her eyes wandered away from the distracting wings and lighted on a firm, tanned, _butt cheek_.

_Oh..._

Clarke’s eyes moved lower, over a toned thigh and smooth, sculpted calves. The Heda’s legs looked as though they’d been sculpted from marble to reflect what a perfect pair of limbs should look like. Aside from their perfection, they were also extremely human in nature. _All human_ , Clarke decided while she unabashedly stared at the Heda’s cute little toes.

“Do the Sky People not know to announce themselves, _Alehan_?” A sleepy voice rasped and Clarke literally jumped into the air and let out a frightened shriek, grateful that she’d let go off her gun during her studious perving, otherwise she might’ve let off a few shots. Terrified blue eyes moved up to see that the Heda – still softly purring - had lowered her wing till beneath her chin and was now gazing at Clarke with an amused smile, sleep tousled hair and twinkling green eyes.

_God, she grows more beautiful by the day._

“Uh... I’m sorry, I didn’t realise there was anyone in here. All the other tents were gone. I didn’t even know that this was your tent. It’s not the same one I met you –

Clarke’s rambling came to an abrupt halt when the Heda lazily rolled onto her back – seemingly unperturbed by her wings or Clarke’s presence - and languidly stretched her body, the purring finally stopping as the Heda groaned in pleasure. Long arms reached up passed her head, but Clarke’s eyes were glued to the pair of perky breasts that were pushed up into the air as the Heda gracefully arched her spine.

“Oh god, your entirely naked...” Clarke muttered and shifted her gaze toward the ceiling. There was no fighting the flush that spread up her chest and neck and covered her entire face though.

_Gorgeous. So unbelievably gorgeous..._

Was all Clarke could think. She looked back in automation when she heard a soft chuckle, only to find the Heda standing on top of her furs, wings stretching away from her body, and head cocked to the side in contemplation.

_Naked. So gorgeously naked..._

Clarke stared - mouth agape - her eyes rapidly flitting over the smooth expanse of tanned skin of their own volition.

The Heda was _all_ girl.

“You have human breasts.” Clarke blurted without meaning to as she stared at said breasts, but upon finally realising what she was doing and the senseless shit she was saying, she abruptly looked up to the ceiling again. “I’m _so_ sorry, Heda. You just caught me off guard. I wasn’t expecting...” Clarke trailed off, she hadn’t expected _anything_ that had happened since the moment she’d stepped foot into that tent. Curiosity killed the cat, right? And Clarke Griffin was _dead_. Slain by the Heda’s stunning physique.

“Are you disturbed by my body, _Alehan_?”

Clarke could hear – actually feel – the Heda stalking closer.

“Your body is beautiful, Heda.” Clarke shakily answered without thinking and then winced as she focused on staring at the canopy again and not at the naked body closing in on her.

“Then why is it that you can barely look at me?”

She could practically hear the Heda pouting and Clarke couldn’t resist turning around to look at the woman’s face. If she could just maintain eye contact, then everything would be fine.

“Because it’s inappropriate.” Clarke licked her lips while she inappropriately stared at the Heda’s.

What in the hell was wrong with her? It’s like she had no control over herself.

“What if I wanted you to look?” The Heda smirked and Clarke groaned and turned her back on the infuriating woman, realising that she was being mercilessly teased. That was only confirmed at the amused laughter that followed Clarke’s despairing noise. When her stomach fluttered at the sound of the Heda’s mirth, Clarke knew that she was in _way_ over her head.

“I enjoy your eyes on me, _Alehan_. But since my nudity discomforts you so, I will dress if that will have you look at me once again?”

Clarke nodded mindlessly, sure the Heda would be able to see. She couldn’t trust herself to speak just yet. It was very disconcerting just how attracted she was to the vampire.

She intently listened to the rustling of clothing and Clarke was extremely curious to find out exactly how the Heda managed to get those skin-tight leathers over those large wings, but she determinedly averted her gaze and glared at the entryway of the tent.

Clarke would’ve gone outside had she been able to move her legs at all in that moment.

“You may turn around now.” The Heda announced, amusement still evident in her tone.

Clarke thought that maybe the Heda was lying and when she turned, she would find the Heda still nakedly smirking at her. Needless to say, Clarke had to swallow down her disappointment when she turned around and found a fully clothed vampire, noticing for the first time the buckles and straps which tied her leather vest to her body. Clarke didn’t have to look to know that there would be a strip of leather between her shoulder blades, ending in a buckle behind the Heda’s back to overcome the obstacle of her wings.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” The Heda smirked.

Clarke blushed again - for some reason - and it just made her angry at her bizarre behaviour. She should be afraid. She should hate the Grounder Commander. And yet Clarke was feeling anything but fear and hatred in that moment.

“I wasn’t sure what time would be convenient for the tour you requested yesterday.” Clarke honestly answered. “I came here to find out when we should be expecting you.”

The Heda stared at her for a long moment, before slowly nodding her acceptance of the explanation.

“We may go now.” She stated and Clarke just nodded back before abruptly leaving the thick tension of the tent, welcoming the open air that thankfully allowed her to breathe easily again.

* * *

 

They’d walked mostly in a comfortable, companionable, silence. Clarke only asking what had happened to the army, to which the Heda impassively replied that she’d sent them away. Clarke didn’t dare question her, so instead she spent the rest of their journey to Camp Jaha sneaking glances at the lanky creature stalking at her side. The Heda didn’t have any war paint on, nor did she carry her sword. There was only a dagger strapped into a holster at her thigh and of course she had those fangs that were probably her most dangerous weapons.

The closer they came to the gates, though, the more nervous Clarke became. She had told her mother to make sure that nobody offended the Heda while she was there. That they shouldn’t stare and maybe they could like bow their heads if it wouldn’t be too much trouble. It wouldn’t hurt to kiss some ass by showing a little respect, right? The Heda was clearly mystical and magical. A little bit higher on the evolutionary scale _and_ the food chain than everyone else. A panther wasn’t going to waste its’ time making friends with a herd of deer. And those deer would be stupid to believe that it ever would.

The guards opened the gates on their arrival, all averting their gazes, but Clarke noticed some sneaking appreciative looks at the Heda much like Clarke had done throughout their walk. She ignored them all and spoke about how Alpha Station had functioned while it had still been up in space and part of the Ark. Clarke also explained why it had broken away and the emergency landing that had been made as a result of their oxygen supply having been depleted. As well as the suspicion that it had been interference from the Mountain Men who had caused their ships to crash.

The Heda attentively listened to all she said as they walked down the corridors. Clarke was mutely captivated by the almost childlike curiosity that sparkled in the Heda’s eyes when she came across something foreign to her. At one point the Heda actually stopped and pressed her ear to the walls, presumably listening to the noises of the vents or the plumbing or the wiring. Clarke honestly had no idea how to answer her when the Heda excitedly asked ‘what that sound was’ but promised to find out even though Clarke had no idea who to even ask or what to ask them for that matter.

They ignored all of the people not so subtly changing direction on their approach or ducking out of the way to mould themselves against the walls of the tiny corridors to allow them ample space to pass through. The Heda didn’t even look in their direction, almost like she was completely blind to their existence.

It had been the generators she’d heard through the wall, the Heda later informed Clarke when they reached the engine room. Clarke was then asked about how they worked, how long they would work, how much fuel they still had left and whether Clarke planned on keeping her people in that location once their energy was depleted, as the large metal construction would most certainly turn into a boiling furnace without electricity to fuel the ventilation system and distribute fresh air throughout the predominately windowless and airtight structure. Clarke couldn’t answer any of her questions and abruptly realised that there was more to being a leader than just running around trying to save your people.

She squirmed underneath the Heda’s heavy gaze, those striking eyes intently searching her face for something. Clarke felt ashamed and defensive, because, since landing on Earth, surviving had been their number one priority. Planning for the future... Well their hadn’t been much time to plan for the future.

“I understand your concern for your people in _Maun-de, Alehan_.” The Heda softly rasped, trapping Clarke in a wise, green gaze. “But do not let your worry for them place those you think are safe here, in danger.”

Clarke nodded, because yes, she just realised this too. Of course the Heda was the one stopping them from really settling down on ‘ _her’_ lands, but a real leader would’ve known the answers to all of those questions regardless. A real leader would’ve been preparing and anticipating for the future.

Clarke had been so focused on getting her people out of Mount Weather that she’d neglected the ones in Camp Jaha. Like they didn’t matter. No wonder her mother couldn’t take her seriously. Abby and Kane were still running everything at the station _and_ helping Clarke plan the assault on Mount Weather. They were doing what leaders were supposed to: looking at the bigger picture for the sake of _all_ of their people.

“You knew that I wasn’t the leader of my people when I met you, didn’t you?” Clarke braced herself, but lying to the vampire wasn’t going to get her anywhere. Rather come clean now then have the Heda find out later.

The Heda cocked her head and let loose a charmingly crooked grin that sent Clarke’s heart aflutter and completely set her at ease.

“I had stipulated that I would speak only to the leader of the Sky People. The message had been relayed as such and I assume your people had held council to decide who would be sent, where after you presented yourself to me. So tell me, _Alehan_ , how are you not the leader of your people then?” She smirked.

“But before that, I wasn’t...” Clarke murmured.

“Do you know what one of the most important skills is to learn as a leader?” The Heda suddenly asked.

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek. The Heda was jumping all over the place with her answers. She’d done it the day before too, and Clarke had only realised afterward – once she was able to think clearly - that all her questions had eventually been answered, so she just went with it again.

“What?” Clarke curiously wondered, subconsciously eating up every word of advice offered to her.

“You will need to learn how to delegate.” The Heda smirked.

“Is that what you do?”

“I am the Heda of twelve clans. I do not have the time nor desire to involve myself in the daily functioning of every single one of my people.”

“And you just trust whoever you put in charge to do the right thing?”

“Had you not come to me, I would have demanded to liaise with only you regardless.” The Heda admitted. “I had been impressed by your initiative and reasoning concerning the Murderer. And I believe that it had been under your leadership that three hundred of my warriors were killed.”

Clarke bit her lip, not sure what to say to that.

“Perhaps we do not have trust yet, but we do have an understanding, _Alehan_. I ask you for a plan to disable the acid fog, you bring me that plan and help me to learn of the things I do not yet know about. I do not need to sit through endless meetings and speak to persons I have no interest in.”

“And you have an interest in me?” Clarke asked, unable to stop herself.

“I enjoy the way you smell.” The Heda smirked predatorily and Clarke visibly shuddered in a strangely pleasant mixture of fear and excitement.

“So you smell someone and immediately know that you can trust them to do what you need done?” Clarke tried to ignore the way the Heda’s pupils had blown wide.

“No.” The Heda continued her intense stare. “I tell them what I want and they do it without question.”

“Yeah, because you say jump and we all ask how high. I’m still struggling to get respect around here, because of my age and because, admittedly, I’ve made a few reckless decisions in the past.”

“There is a very thin line between fear and respect.”

“I don’t want my people to fear me.” Clarke quickly told her.

“Good.” The Heda nodded sagely. “You are young, Klark, but I have chosen you because your mind is sharp and your heart is strong. You will learn from your people and I will learn from you. You will be wise to use the fear they have for me to your advantage and with time, they will know to respect you through the choices you have made and will make, to keep them safe.” She stated supremely and started walking again as though deciding for the both of them that the conversation was over.

Clarke frowned, but followed after her, gathering that the Heda was done lecturing and would rather explore the station further. She was deep in thought while she made plans to become a real leader to _all_ of her people. Clarke would definitely need to delegate a few tasks to the Council.

Since the Heda had made her appearance, they’d actually been working very well together. Her mother and Kane weren’t excluding her from any major decisions since the Heda had made it very clear that she was endorsing Clarke and Clarke in turn had gone to the Council seeking advice. That’s what the Heda had meant, right? When she’d said that she was busy learning from Clarke the things she didn’t know? That Clarke should learn from Abby and Kane and delegate tasks to them she didn’t have the knowledge to tackle herself?

So deep in thought was Clarke - a little high on the sudden burst of confidence she felt at the Heda’s affirmation of her abilities - that she hadn’t noticed that they were at the Engineering section already. But Clarke was sure shaken out of her musings when Raven came bounding out of the room, screaming like a banshee, wielding a screwdriver aimed at the Heda’s chest.

Clarke gawked at the unexpected – yet totally unsurprising – attack and wasn’t sure what to do when the Heda swiftly disarmed the hysterical Raven and pushed her up against the wall of the corridor.

Raven’s hands were pinned above her head and the Heda’s body pressed tightly against her to keep her from moving while obsidian eyes stared down into Raven’s watery glare. Their faces were inches apart and their lips were almost brushing. Clarke motioned away the guards who confusedly stared at the strangely intimate scene, having noticed Raven attack first. They obediently lowered their weapons and stepped back while Clarke tentatively walked closer, making sure that the Heda would see her approach and not misinterpret her movements as a threat and think that Clarke had led her into the worst attempt at an ambush _ever_.

“Why are you angry with me?” The Heda murmured, her eyes having returned to their lovely green hue and Clarke relaxed slightly at seeing that.

“You _killed_ him.” Raven’s voice trembled as she spoke, though she fearlessly stared back at the Heda.

“And you wish to take my life as retribution?” The Heda softly asked and Clarke wondered why the vampire was so calm after just being attacked.

Not that she was complaining, it was just difficult to figure the Heda out. Ruthless. She was supposed to be just one-dimensionally ruthless. But instead she’d become the most intriguing thing Clarke had come across and would probably ever come across in her entire life. Throughout the tour, Clarke had become lost as she just stared at the Heda as the vampire’s inquisitive gaze keenly flitted over every inch of boring Ark metal she found.  

“You deserve to die for what you did to him.” Raven snarled. And Clarke thought that maybe Raven had lost her mind as well, because they had agreed that Finn should give himself up. Hell, Finn had willingly gone and they all knew what would happen when he did. It was what Clarke repeatedly told herself to remain sane during the last couple of days. That Finn had agreed. Clarke thought – _hoped_ – that he would’ve eventually surrendered himself without her having to have asked him to. But Raven was clearly dealing with Finn’s death as well as could be expected given their long and intense history of love and sacrifice.

The Heda let go of Raven’s arms then and took a step back, tilting her head to the side in that oddly avian way she had.

“And what did the _Kwelen Skat_ deserve for killing eighteen of my people? Did the loved ones of his victims not deserve such retribution as you wish to claim for yourself now?” The Heda calmly reminded and Raven’s eyes guiltily flitted to the floor. “I will excuse your actions because you are grieving and because you do not understand yet who and what I am. But you should know that I will not be as merciful should you attack me again.” She warned. “You should also know that it would take much, _much_ more than a...” The Heda trailed off and stared at the tool in her hand as though she knew what it was, but was trying to remember what it was called, before turning to Clarke with a questioning look. “... a screwdriver?” She asked and Clarke nodded her confirmation and smiled at the pleased smirk on the Heda’s face, before the vampire returned her attention to Raven. “...to kill me.” She finished and turned away from Raven who was quietly crying, slumped against the wall. “Come along, _Alehan_.” The Heda casually ordered, sheathing the screwdriver alongside the dagger at her thigh and continued down the corridor like nothing had happened.

Clarke paused in front of Raven and then thought ‘ _fuck it’_ , before pulling the distraught woman into a brief yet meaningful hug and then hurried after the Heda.

* * *

 

The Heda had been as curious about the infirmary as Abby had been about the Heda. Clarke had asked her mother to please not ask the multitude of questions as to what exactly the Heda was and had been relieved when Abby did nothing but answer the Heda’s abundance of queries.

After that, when Clarke had walked the vampire out towards the gates of Camp Jaha, it started to very awkwardly feel like the end of a first date. Clarke knew that this was all in her head of course, as she sheepishly grinned and asked the Heda whether she would like to stay the evening in the Ark. The vampire politely smiled and just declined the offer.

“Sleep well, _Alehan_.” The vampire softly murmured, staring intently into Clarke’s eyes for an intense moment before she took off from the ground and flew into the night.

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5

Three days passed without seeing or hearing from the Heda. Clarke didn’t dare go to the dark tent again. She wasn’t sure whether she could handle more vampire nudity. The Heda’s face was a weapon of mass destruction all on its own. God, and those eyes...

Clarke was going a little bit insane stuck in Camp Jaha, being forced to just sit and wait while her friends were trapped in Mount Weather. But thankfully, during the tour, Clarke had asked the Heda whether she could take one person out to hunt and had been given permission. So she’d asked Octavia and the two happily made their way through the forest in search of prey.

Clarke had actually hoped to learn what information O had gleaned from Lincoln on the Heda, since she was sure that Lincoln might just stab her the next time she asked him something. But apparently Lincoln was as tight-lipped about the Heda with his girlfriend too and all Octavia had to offer was: That the Heda had ‘always’ been there. That she had united the clans during the war and that she showed up in times when her people needed her most and that they could go to some place called Polis, if they needed to ask her for help.

It only left Clarke with more questions.

Clarke focused on these - hoping the Heda would one day answer them for her - whilst keeping an eye on their surroundings, and the other on Octavia scouting the forest with a bow. By mid-afternoon, they’d managed to kill three rabbits that they were carrying back to camp, when they noticed someone riding toward Camp Jaha on horseback.

They quickly ducked down in the tree line that offered them a clear view of the path and the rider, but Clarke rose up once she recognised the large Grounder as the Heda’s personal guard the day she had met the confounding vampire.

Clarke wondered whether she should call out to him, but her contemplation was stalled when a streaking shadow tackled Gustus clean off of his horse and onto the ground. Clarke’s brows furrowed when the Heda jumped up from his prone form, reached down and easily pulled Gustus up by his arm.  She then eagerly embraced him in a bear hug, lifting the large man clear off of his feet in her exuberance.

Clarke grinned brightly when she heard Gustus’s bellowing laughter and saw the wide toothy smile on the Heda’s face as she placed him down again and proceeded to affectionately nuzzle her cheek against his chest and bumped her head underneath his chin. She was like a large kitten, Clarke thought, her chest feeling light at the loving display she would never in a million years have anticipated.

“Is that her boyfriend?” Octavia smirked.

Clarke’s smile instantly faltered.

“That’s Gustus.” She wanted to say her guard, but really didn’t know whether Gustus was the Heda’s lover or not as she didn’t really seem to require a guard. But if he was her boyfriend, then surely they would’ve kissed by now, right? Clarke convinced herself of the latter to stop the uncomfortable twisting in her belly.

“What?” Octavia looked as though she was struggling to contain her laughter. “Did you just say his name was _Goose Tits_?”

They both burst out laughing then, but soon covered their mouths and turned wide eyes to the Heda and Gustus. But it was too late. The Heda had taken a step back from her ‘friend’ and her wings were reaching toward the sky, an obsidian gaze glaring directly at them through the trees.

“Shit...” Clarke whispered and started slowly retreating, deciding then and there that if she were to live through this, she would never again try to correctly pronounce Gustus’ name.

 “She’s seen us. Oh god, she’s seen us!” Octavia hissed in a panic. “Should we run?!”

Clarke didn’t have a fucking clue what to do, so she went with what her instincts were screaming at her: she turned on her heel to run and managed only a few steps before the Heda dropped down in front of them with a powerful whoosh of her wings that had the fleeing duo’s hair blowing away from their faces, and stopped them right in their tracks.

“We’re sorry, Heda.” Clarke instantly rushed out while the Heda straightened to her full height. “We were out hunting and came across the path where Gustus was on and we didn’t mean to spy on you. We didn’t even know that either of you were going to be here.” She hurriedly explained, her heart aching as it pounded against her ribs.

“Please don’t kill us.” Octavia squeaked. “I like your people way more than I do mine.”

Clarke’s head snapped to her and she gaped.

“Really, O?”

“Well it’s true.” Octavia shrugged, looking only slightly guilty.

“ _Shof op_.” The Heda lowly growled and the two Arkers didn’t need to know any Trigedasleng to know that that was their cue to shut up.

The Heda’s dark eyes then turned solely to Octavia.

“You will not speak a word of what you have seen to anyone.”

Octavia immediately fell to her knees, just like all the other Grounders did.

“ _Sha, Heda_.” She declared as though she was making a vow and Clarke was envious of all that Octavia knew of the Trigedakru.

She contemplated also falling to her knees, but the Heda would see right through that.

“Return to your camp, _Okteivia_.” The Heda instructed and Clarke wasn’t as surprised as Octavia that the Heda knew her name, because Clarke had made sure to name and point out everyone to the Heda during their tour. She strongly suspected the Heda of having an eidetic memory given her vast knowledge of things she’d never personally come into contact with and shouldn’t really know about.

Octavia scrambled to her feet and dashed off, sending Clarke a sympathetic glance over her shoulder.

Clarke swallowed thickly and was relieved to find green eyes staring at her instead of the frightening black they’d been just a moment ago.

“I care about _Gostos_ more than I do anyone on this Earth.” The Heda stoically announced and Clarke couldn’t deny the pang of jealousy the statement caused as it was starting to look as though the two were indeed lovers. “Should my enemies learn of this, they may use it against me.” She explained, taking a step closer to Clarke. “Are you my enemy, _Alehan_?”

Clarke quickly shook her head no. “I’m trying to be your ally, remember?” She smiled shakily, hoping the joke would be appreciated and was rewarded with a small smile.

“Good. You will also not speak about this to anyone.”

“ _Sha,_ Heda.” Clarke copied Octavia’s words and was delighted to get another smile.

The Heda started walking in the direction of Camp Jaha and Clarke fell into step next to her, legs still trembling like jelly with pent-up adrenalin.

“ _Gostos_ had gone to _Tondisi_ to send word to the representatives of the Twelve Clans. You and I will set out the day after tomorrow to join them once they have gathered there.”

Clarke nodded. Raven was sure that their radio worked even though they’d only been picking up static thus far. She’d already decided on the frequency Bellamy needed to use to contact them on and would switch onto that once he and Lincoln set out. For now, Raven was just searching the airwaves for any communications the Mountain Men might be sending out. Though she’d clearly hurt her leg even more during her attack on the Heda, Raven had yet to mention or acknowledge the encounter at all.

Clarke was trying with great difficulty to stifle the multitude of questions she had about the Heda while they walked and tried to pick one she thought the Heda would most likely answer.

“The acid fog can kill you?” Clarke unintentionally wondered out loud, not having meant to ask _that_ particular question and realised that she really couldn’t control her word vomit around the Heda.

“No.” Came the blank answer.

Clarke’s brows furrowed and she had to clench her jaw shut in order to not ask why the Heda hadn’t then gotten her people out of the Mountain yet. Instead she just focused on placing one foot in front of the other while they walked in silence for a long moment that was broken by an amused chuckle.

“You want to know why I have not saved my people then?” The Heda smirked.

Clarke released a relieved breath that the question that had been choking at her was out in the open and nodded her head.

“I first became aware of the _Maunon_ using the fog, sixty-eight years ago.” The Heda started talking and Clarke stopped walking to listen, mildly stunned by the declaration and its implication. “At that time I had been more concerned with exploring the world and was unaware of the clan wars that had broken out throughout the lands during my absence. Upon my return though, I worked to unite our people. That took precedence for about a decade until there was finally lasting peace and the only threat which remained was the acid fog, the _Ripas_ and the _Maunon_ in their suits with their guns who would abduct my people. So avoiding the Mountain had been decided as the best course of action.” She sighed. “ _Gostos_ and I live in Polis. Far out of the _Maunon’s_ reach, but twenty-three years ago, I faced the fog.” The Heda looked to Clarke, eyes darkening again, but Clarke knew it wasn’t because of anything that she had done, but had more to do with what the Heda was remembering. “With a limited supply of blood, it had taken _Gostos_ two days to fully revive me. Two days for my skin to heal...” A soft growl rumbled in the Heda’s chest. “It took my feathers two weeks to grow back. Three weeks until I was able to fly again.”

Clarke just gawked at her.

“So no, the acid fog does not kill me. But it does leave me vulnerable to attack. Had the _Maunon_ found me instead of _Gostos_...”

Clarke nodded in understanding, the Heda would’ve been fucked.

“How old are you?” Clarke questioned the one thing that had been running through her mind and the Heda smirked at the question.

“I am in my ninety seventh year.”

That meant that the Heda had been born during the year the bombs had dropped, Clarke’s eyes widened incredulously.

“I have told you enough for today, _Alehan_.” The Heda pre-emptively cut off the barrage of questions Clarke was just about to release. The blonde’s shoulders sagged in disappointment but she started walking again nonetheless.

“Thanks for telling me that.” Clarke honestly admitted, not sure why the Heda had chosen to share a clear weakness.

“In the days to come, we will need to trust each other, Klark. I need you to understand that I too wish to save my people from the _Maunon_. Perhaps, in time, you will share some of your stories with me too.” The Heda smiled sincerely and Clarke beamed at her for what she had said and for using her name to say it.

“Maybe you and Gustus could move your tent to Camp Jaha and we could spend some time together tomorrow before we set out for Ton DC the day after?” Clarke nervously proposed. The Heda had mentioned that Alpha Station – ‘though fascinating’ – made her feel trapped, so Clarke doubted offering her quarters again would convince the vampire to stay.

Clarke ignored the question at the back of her mind screaming at her as to why she felt the need to have the creature closer at all.

“I would like that very much.” The Heda confirmed and nodded to the gates of Camp Jaha. “I trust you will be safe the rest of the way.” She warmly smiled and took flight again without waiting for an answer, before Clarke realised that the Heda had escorted her back to camp to make sure she got there safely.

* * *

 

Octavia had been waiting with Lincoln and Bellamy at the gate. At the guys’ questioning looks, Clarke knew that Octavia hadn’t told them what had happened, and Clarke made sure to make Octavia promise that she wouldn’t ever repeat it. She explained that this wasn’t just the Heda throwing her weight around, that she was genuinely concerned for Gustus and would most likely kill the both of them if word got out that Gustus was more than just a guard or whatever he was supposed to be. It was a blessing then that Lincoln was so reticent to casually discuss the Heda and that Octavia took her cues about everything Grounder-related from him.

Clarke wasn’t sure who would be insane enough to mess with the Heda though, but she guessed that the Mountain Men would probably use whatever they could if they were to discover that the Heda was coming for them. Clarke then wondered whether Dante knew that the Heda existed at all... They’d been on the Ground for a few weeks and had never seen the Heda until she’d wanted to be seen. But then again, the Heda had admitted that she lived in Polis which was apparently far from Trikru territory.

Clarke itched to ask Lincoln where it was, but decided to wait a while before cornering him again. But maybe if she asked nicely, the Heda would tell Clarke herself.

* * *

 

Gustus arrived a few hours later, with two large horses carting a wagon packed with supplies. The guards had let him in and then went to call Clarke as she had instructed them to. Abby hadn’t been happy that the invite had been extended without consulting the Council first, but they all eventually agreed that maybe the Heda would be less likely to eat them if they were a bit friendlier.

Jaha, upon seeing Gustus, had offhandedly commented that maybe they had just invited the wolf right into the sheep pen.

Clarke had drawn an invisible boundary line to give the Heda her own space close to the east most point against the fence. She hoped that nobody would attack the vampire again out of fear and/or idiocy. Murphy and Jaha had been talking a lot of nonsense about the Grounders being led by a ‘demon’ that shouldn’t be trusted; that their people would be better off on their own instead of forming alliances with savages who would turn on them in a second.

Clarke had ignored it at first. Jaha had been brutally beaten by the Grounders, so she could understand his animosity. He’d only been released from being imprisoned by his own people the day before, but already he and Murphy seemed way too close and were trying to rally people against the forced confinement to Camp Jaha. It made Clarke very suspicious, especially because _Murphy_ was involved.

Kane and Abby were monitoring the situation though and had spoken to the unlikely twosome about the guests that would be arriving. They had promised to behave, but Clarke didn’t trust Murphy as far as she could throw him and Jaha wasn’t the same man he used to be in the Sky. Abby suspected that the oxygen deprivation might’ve done irreparable damage to Jaha’s mind.

So Clarke instructed the guards to arrest anyone who entered into the Heda’s space, to hopefully avoid a diplomatic incident and yet another declaration of war.

* * *

 

Two tents had been set up by late afternoon. Clarke had been told that the Heda arrived only a few moments ago and that she and Gustus were now somewhere behind the tents where everyone around camp could hear the man screaming.

Clarke didn’t want to know what the Heda was doing to her lover, but after another agonized cry filtered into the air, she sucked it up and walked forward, intent on asking the Heda to please take her kinky sex games elsewhere. There were children around, after all.

Clarke felt ready to throw up in anticipation of what she would find once she rounded the back of the tent, but summarily halted and gaped when the Heda’s soft laughter washed over her.

The vampire was standing with her back to Clarke, facing Gustus who was adamantly shaking his head ‘no’. The Heda then softly murmured something in Trigedasleng and the large man sighed, seemingly unable to say no to her.

Clarke really didn’t blame him his weakness.

Gustus then reached out his hand and grabbed onto the electric fence, clenching his jaw while the Heda counted out loud. She got up to _nain_ before Gustus let go again with a pained cry. He shouldn’t have been able to hold on for a second, Clarke realised with wide eyes, but was distracted by the soft giggle coming from the Heda.

The angel spoke in Trigedasleng again and Gustus nodded and then the Heda reached out to touch the fence herself. Clarke gasped when the Heda softly growled but held on to the wire; her hair frizzing and Gustus laughing heartily at the way her wings jerked up into the sky as the powerful currents surged through her body. When he just continued laughing, the Heda reached out a hand and grabbed hold of his wrist. His laughter instantly turned into an indignant yelp and the Heda let go of the fence, doubling over in her amusement. Gustus gave her an affectionate shove that didn’t even move her, before the Heda wrapped an arm around him, snuggling up under his massive arm and turned her body to notice Clarke smiling widely at them.

“You have still not learned to announce yourself, _Alehan_.” The Heda stated, but was still smiling, even though her eyes were obsidian and Clarke gathered that it was more to do with the electric shocks than the Heda being angry, because that lovely green was back a moment later.

“I came to invite you and Gustus to supper.” Clarke murmured, blushing as they both stared at her.

The Heda looked up at Gustus who just shrugged in response to the unspoken question.

“Thank you, Klark. When should we arrive?”

“Whenever you’re ready. I requested that the others eat a bit later so that you won’t have to sit with everyone.”

“Why do you not bring your meal to my tent and join me here?” The Heda suggested. “That way your people will not be inconvenienced by my presence.”

Clarke considered that for a moment. It was the most convenient way to have supper with the Heda and find out whether she ate real food or not. It had actually been Clarke’s first thought, but she wasn’t going to just invite herself over.

“It’s not an inconvenience, Heda. But thank you, I’ll collect our supper and Gustus can help me carry it back here?”

Clarke then looked up at Gustus who she only then noticed was busy re-braiding the Heda’s hair that had come loose during the shocks.

The vampire just smirked at Clarke’s nonplussed look.

“If you do not mind waiting, _Gostos_ will be with you shortly.”

Clarke just nodded and averted her gaze from just how sweet the two of them were together and blindly stared at the setting sun.

* * *

 

She wasn’t sure who was more upset that she had invited and was now having dinner with the Heda inside of their camp: Abby or Bellamy. Clarke really didn’t see the issue. The Heda could just fly in whenever she wanted to anyway. At least now they were trying to build an alliance based on trust.

Gustus had been stoically standing by the kitchen door in the mess hall waiting for the rabbit stew and bread Clarke had specially requested and when he turned around with two trays balanced in his large hands she hurriedly went to take one from him.

“I’ll be fine Mom and Dad.” Clarke smirked over her shoulder and walked out the door before they could stop her.

Gustus was predictably silent, but Clarke continued to ramble on about the Ark and her people, giving him the cliff notes version of the tour she had had with the Heda. She still wondered what their affiliation was. They were obviously close, but Gustus had his own tent… Unless it had just been set up to protect the Heda’s reputation or to protect Gustus. Probably the latter, Clarke had to admit with a heavy heart.

But once they were in front of the Heda’s black tent, Gustus swapped their trays so he now carried the lighter one with only one portion on it. He then motioned for Clarke to go inside and went to the other tent without a word. Clarke ignored how very pleased she was with this and with a quick ‘Heda?’ to announce herself, she entered the Heda’s mobile home after receiving a politely given ‘Enter, _Alehan_ ’.

She found a small table with two wooden benches set up and the Heda standing next to it. The vampire angel took the tray from her and then motioned for Clarke to sit down with a welcoming smile. They quietly unloaded their dinner, Clarke noting for the first time – in the absence of the Heda’s distracting nudity – that the tent only contained the Heda’s bed of furs, the furniture they currently sat at, a few trunks and weapons in one corner and a large wash basin and jug stood on a makeshift table. The space noticeably excluded the Antler Throne and mini armoury of the war tent Clarke had been in that first day.

Clarke soon stopped her wandering gaze though and couldn’t hide how intently she was watching whether the vampire would eat or not, and barely suppressed a loud ‘ha!’ when the Heda broke off a piece of bread and dunked it into the stew, ignoring the cutlery Clarke had placed on the tray.

“Yes, I do eat food.” The Heda smirked knowingly. “But it is not my main source of sustenance.”

Clarke blushed at how blatantly obvious she’d been and bashfully nodded before starting on her own meal. Though the rabbit stew was delicious, Clarke couldn’t help but be distracted by the Heda’s long fingers and the way they brought the bread to her mouth, luscious lips sensually sliding over their tips, as the Heda slowly ate her food. Catching herself staring again, Clarke looked up to see whether the Heda had noticed and found the vampire slightly frowning down at her bowl.

“If it’s not to your taste, I can try and get you something else? I think we still have some fruit that Octavia and I gathered yesterday?” Clarke nervously suggested and silently berated herself for not thinking to bring alternatives to the current meal. She’d just been wanting to get away from her mother and Bellamy’s interrogation.

“Something about the taste is unusual...” The Heda murmured, intently studying her meal.

“Unusual?”

“Hmmm. It is a strange taste. What is in this?”

“Well, I didn’t poison you, Heda. I couldn’t have known which bowl you’d take.” Clarke defensively explained.

The Heda looked up at her and grinned, pearly-white fangs on full display.

“From what I have come to know of you, I doubt you would be as foolish as to attempt to poison me, _Alehan_.” She thoughtfully licked her lips, Clarke’s gaze zeroing in on the pink appendage. “It is the herbs... They taste... _different_.” The Heda finally announced, looking pleased at herself for finding the oddity in the meal.

“Oh.” Clarke realised what the issue might be. “They’re not fresh herbs. The spices used are artificial flavourants.”

The Heda’s brows slightly rose on her forehead, but then dropped again and she nodded to herself.

“Of course. There would not have been enough room on your Farm Station to grow all varieties of fresh produce.” She smiled, looking delighted to have learned something new. Clarke had told her all about Farm Station during their tour.

“If it’s unpleasant Heda, I can try and get you something else?” Clarke offered again.

“No, not unpleasant. Just... strange.” She gave Clarke a reassuring smile. “The meal is lovely, _Alehan_. _Mochof_.”

Clarke – for some inexplicable reason – blushed again and nodded before ducking her head and continuing her meal.

They ate in a weirdly comfortable silence until Clarke noticed the way the Heda’s wings would twitch every few seconds. The vampire had a grimace on her face as she rolled her shoulders and looked noticeably uncomfortable.

In a fit of panic, Clarke wondered whether the food had in fact been poisoned, but then wouldn’t she also be affected? Because whoever did it had to have poisoned the entire pot since they couldn’t have known which bowl the Heda would take.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked, her brow furrowed in concern.

The Heda then abruptly got up from the table and rushed toward the large pole in the centre of the tent that propped it up and proceeded to press her back against it with an irritated growl. It was as the Heda moved her back up and down the post, wings lopsidedly hanging in the air, that Clarke realised with a grin that the Heda was attempting to scratch at an itch she couldn’t quite reach.

When the frustrated growling persisted, Clarke felt sorry for her, got up and tentatively moved closer.

“Uhm, need some help?” She awkwardly offered, lifting a hand and motioning to the Heda’s back.

The vampire stilled and stared at the flaps of the tent in contemplation – probably wondering if she should summon Gustus -, but then winced and growled again before stepping away from the post with a firm nod.

Clarke - slowly approaching from the side - hesitantly reached her hand underneath a large wing, and ignored the goosebumps that spread up her arm when unbelievably soft feathers tickled her skin. She then slipped her hand beneath the leather strap between the Heda’s shoulder blades, onto silky smooth skin and lightly scratched.

“Here?” Clarke breathlessly murmured, distracted by the lean muscles rippling beneath her fingertips, while she stared at the Heda’s face for a reaction.

“ _Higher_.” The Heda growled, moving her body to aid Clarke in her direction.

Clarke didn’t need to ask whether she’d found the right spot, because the Heda stilled, instantly started purring and then all but collapsed against Clarke in her relief. The blonde grinned and continued to scratch, her arm now wrapped around the Heda who had lowered her forehead onto Clarke’s shoulder, so that they stood in a loose embrace.

Clarke hadn’t quite realised how intimate the position was until the Heda rested her hands on Clarke’s hips and nuzzled into Clarke’s neck, her entire body vibrating as she purred in pleasure. The blonde wrapped her other arm around the Heda’s slender waist, absently stroking her lower back, completely overwhelmed by the intoxicating scent and warmth of the Heda’s body.

Clarke wasn’t thinking when she nuzzled back at the head pressing insistently against her. She just rubbed her cheek against the implausibly soft skin of the Heda’s jaw line, gently nudging until they were face to face. Clarke then reached up a hand to cup the Heda’s chin, coaxing her to look up. Clarke’s eyes were focused on those luscious lips, slightly parted, and before she could stop herself, Clarke tilted her head and gently pressed their mouths together; sighing blissfully at the pleasant buzz alighting throughout her body at the contact.

It was only after she lightly sucked on a plump bottom lip then brushed her lips over the Heda’s again that Clarke noticed that the kiss was not being returned. In fact, the Heda stood completely frozen against her. Even the purring had stopped. Clarke hurriedly stepped away and was met with a wide-eyed green gaze, then brows knitting together in confusion.

“Uh... I’m so sorry.” Clarke murmured and the Heda looked at Clarke as if seeing her there for the first time. “I’m not sure why I did that.”

The Heda licked her lips, nodded absently and then walked out of the tent. Clarke hurried after her, but was only in time to see the Heda flying off into the night.

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

Clarke was a nervous wreck.

She’d waited outside for hours, steering clear of the Heda’s tent but keeping it in her sights at all times in case the vampire returned. Clarke had still been valiantly grasping at things to talk to the guards about when her mother finally tracked her down. And after Clarke couldn’t come up with a plausible excuse as to why she was still outside in the middle of the night, she obediently followed after Abby to get some sleep.

Having a vampire guest in their camp had made her mother even more protective.

Clarke couldn’t stop thinking about _why_ exactly she’d kissed the Heda in the first place though and the consequences of acting on that strong impulse that had seemingly plagued her since meeting the beautiful creature. The Heda hadn’t appeared angry though, just really surprised, maybe a little bewildered. Maybe because she was almost like a goddess to her people and didn’t find Clarke worthy of kissing her? But the Heda had been the one to start purring and nuzzling up against Clarke... Or had that just been relief?

The woods were full of bugs always trying to eat them alive. Like most of the Arkers, Clarke was well aware of the near orgasmic pleasure offered when scratching a particularly irksome itch. Those leather straps and buckles at the Heda’s back couldn’t be comfortable either and might also explain why the Heda chose to sleep naked...

Clarke sighed while she got up from her cot early the next morning, feeling like she hadn’t slept at all. The Heda had clearly just been having a physical response based on finding relief from an irritation and Clarke had completely and utterly misinterpreted the entire situation.

Clarke could’ve sworn though that the Heda had flirted with her on various occasions ever since they’d met. The vampire always made sure to stand really close and stare deep into her eyes... But then Clarke remembered the Heda’s interaction with her mother and also when she’d pinned Raven to the wall after being attacked. Given the Heda’s body language with Raven and her comments to Abby, had Clarke been removed from the situation, it would’ve seemed as though the Heda had been coming on to both of them. Perhaps the Heda hadn’t been flirting with Clarke at all then? Maybe that’s just how she was with everyone she interacted with?

Fuck, if only the Heda would come back already so that Clarke could talk to her. Hopefully she wasn’t off amassing her large army. Not that the vampire was even in need of one to defeat them. Maybe she would just send her Grounders to kill them all and go home to _Polis_ , too afraid to come back to Camp Jaha, lest Clarke sexually assaulted her again.

“What’s up with you?” Bellamy grinned as he sat down opposite Clarke in the mess with his breakfast tray.

“Nothing.” Clarke tiredly murmured and stared at her bowl of porridge.

“Look, since I’m gonna go away for a while...” Bellamy nervously started and Clarke’s head snapped up at his tone. “I was thinking that maybe tonight – “he cleared his throat, “- uh, we could just relax and have some fun, drink some moonshine...” He trailed off, looking at her expectantly.

This was all Clarke’s fault too, of course. She should’ve never hugged him the way she’d done when she’d seen him after escaping Mount Weather and had still been high on being reunited with her mother. But Clarke had just been so fucking relieved that she hadn’t killed Bellamy along with all of those Grounders. And now he was looking at her like _this_.

“Sure.” She tightly smiled. “I’ll ask the others whether they want to join us too. Great idea, Bell.” Clarke grinned almost manically and hurriedly stood up. “I gotta go though. See you later!” She called over her shoulder, already walking off.

Yes, they needed to talk about this, but Bell was being way too subtle to directly address it and he was right, he would be going off very soon to possibly die. The Talk could wait till after he got back. No use in making things any more tense than they already were.

Or maybe Clarke was the only tense one? Bellamy had slept with almost every female at the Dropship. Clarke doubted he’d mourn her for long. Yep, Bell would be fine. Clarke just needed to set things right with the Heda now.

* * *

 

Gustus was sitting in front of his tent, roasting a rabbit over a small fire.

_Who even ate an entire rabbit for breakfast? A giant, bearded, Grounder man, that’s who._

“ _Hei_ , Gustus.” Clarke greeted and just barely managed to look at the man before her eyes moved toward the Dark Tent. “Has Heda come back yet?”

After not getting an answer, Clarke turned to look at him and found an intense gaze searching her face. In general, one would mistake Gustus for just muscle, but she’d seen his softer side and the way he cared about his Heda. There was also a sage glint in his eye that suggested that Gustus knew a lot more than he let on.

“What have you done?” He finally asked. And though it wasn’t angry, just curious, said in his low baritone, it made Clarke’s heart rate pick up in fear.

But then Clarke noticed his eyes again, inquisitive rather than reproachful - so much like the Heda’s - and for some reason the gaze made her feel comfortable enough to just blurt out the truth.

“I kissed her.” Clarke confessed and bit her lip, intently focused on his reaction.

Gustus’s lips parted in surprise, then his brows furrowed and his jaw purposely clenched shut. For a second he looked slightly constipated before he burst out into loud, raucous laughter.

Clarke nervously smiled, not sure whether he was laughing because she was an idiot, or laughing because she was an idiot and the Heda was going to come back and cut her head off.

Gustus - still chuckling to himself - started taking his rabbit off of the spit.

“Go arm yourself and fetch some water, _Strik Alehan_. I will finish my meal and then we will walk.” He instructed, not bothering to look at her again.

Clarke wanted to ask questions, but firstly she didn’t want to get on Gustus’s bad side, and secondly, she was afraid of the answers she might receive. So she just nodded to herself and went to do as she’d been told.

* * *

 

It took some smart manoeuvring through the station to avoid her mother and get to Octavia. Clarke blatantly lied and said she was going hunting with Gustus. Octavia wanted to go with her, but was thankfully still wary after her encounter with the Heda. She promised to hold off as long as possible before telling Abby and Bellamy about Clarke’s whereabouts after which Clarke hurried to go and meet Gustus already waiting for her at the gate.

They set off into the woods, heading away from Mount Weather, in a direction Clarke hadn’t been in before. The walk was predictably silent, Clarke not sure what to say or ask or whether Gustus would even answer her. But after over an hour of trekking, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Do you think that you could maybe tell me how to say sorry in Trigedasleng?” Clarke hesitantly asked. “Please?”

Gustus remained silent for a while, before he let out a long suffering sigh.

“We do not have a word for sorry in our language.”

“Oh.” Clarke’s brows lifted with her scepticism.

“We show our remorse through our actions.” He added.

Clarke bit her lip in contemplation. Well, that was all good and well, but she might not have time to show anything. She’ll just apologise in English and then show how sorry she was by maintaining a minimum five-foot radius from the Heda at all times. Maybe seven feet, just to be safe.

“So how did you and the Heda meet?” Clarke tried to make conversation. Curious, because though Gustus didn’t speak much - and when he did, he tended to grumble - he was almost as articulate as his Heda. And he clearly received preferential treatment, seeing that the Heda cared about him ‘more than anyone else on Earth’.

“That is for Heda to disclose should she find you trustworthy.”

“Do _you_ find me trustworthy?” Clarke ventured, considering he was taking her to see the Heda.

“I do not yet know you, _Strik Alehan_.” Gustus smirked and Clarke smiled.

‘Yet’. That meant that Gustus planned on getting to know her. Which also meant that he wasn’t knowingly leading Clarke to her execution.

* * *

 

It was another hour before they reached a very green meadow, with a river running through it. Clarke had been able to hear the large waterfall for a few minutes already, and still it managed to take her breath away once she finally laid eyes on it.

“Heda!” Gustus suddenly shouted at the top of his lungs, making Clarke jump in surprise next to him.

It was a few seconds before Clarke noticed the figure at the top of the waterfall. The Heda watched them for a moment, too high up for Clarke to read her expression, before she jumped, large wings spreading magnificently as she glided down toward them. She landed softly a few feet away, eyes dark and angry as they glared at Gustus, causing Clarke to start doubting everything about this plan.

A rapid exchange of Trigedasleng then followed that Clarke couldn’t decipher anything of. When Octavia wrote out sentences under Lincoln’s tutelage, it was far easier to translate, but hearing the words were a different matter entirely.

Finally, the Heda’s shoulders seemed to sag in defeat, along with her wings and Gustus smirked in triumph. Clarke realised in that moment how the Heda’s wings seemed as expressive as her eyebrows. Lifting in surprise, pulling together in confusion or puzzlement.

Maybe she’d been watching the woman way too closely...

“ _Ste yuj, Heda_.” Gustus murmured with a soft smile. Clarke knew what those words meant. He’d said it slow and with enough emphasis for her to catch. _Be strong_. Be strong? What?

“ _Sha, Gostos_.” The Heda sighed in resignation and warmly returned his smile.

Gustus chuckled to himself before turning around and walking off without a word to Clarke, who stood there wondering if she should follow after him. She turned to the Heda who was still staring after Gustus without seeming to see him, until finally, a few long moments after he’d disappeared from sight, she settled a stoic gaze on Clarke.

“Heda...” Clarke croaked, pulling at her shirt, feeling suddenly hot and suffocating. “I want to apologise for my actions –

“ _Aleksandria_.” Was the first word that softly left her lips and Clarke completely lost her train of thought.

“Alexandria?” She confusedly echoed.

“My name is _Aleksandria_.” The Heda confidently proclaimed, proudly lifting her chin like she thought that Clarke would refute it for some unfathomable reason.

Clarke smiled, wondering how many people were privy to this information. It gave Clarke hope that the conversation wouldn’t go as badly as she’d initially thought it would and some of her confidence returned.

“Alexandria is a beautiful name, Heda.” Clarke said for the sake of saying something, because the Heda was just quietly staring at her in that unnervingly blank way she had. Alexandria was a beautiful and extremely intimidating name, perfectly suited to the woman herself then.

“ _Gostos_ calls me _Leksa_.” The Heda murmured, breaking eye contact to stare at Clarke’s feet. “I would prefer it if you did as well.”

“Lexa...” Clarke smiled the name. Yeah, she definitely liked Lexa. The Heda’s eyes flitted up again, softer, greener, and a small smile tilted the corners of her mouth upwards.

_God, it really wasn’t healthy how beautiful she was._

“You want to apologise for kissing me?” The Heda asked, almost timidly and Clarke’s eyebrows rose at the unexpected tone and along with the name, the Heda suddenly seemed younger, less untouchable, more approachable, achingly adorable, actually.

“I want to apologise if kissing you upset you, He- _Lexa_.”

“You did not upset me.” She murmured, looking miles away and Clarke wasn’t sure what the problem was then.

“D-did you want me to kiss you?” Clarke bravely asked.

The Heda’s brows knitted, wings following suit as they drew together, as though they were trying to form a protective shell around Lexa’s body.

“ _Klark_...” She seemed at a loss for words and Clarke felt bad that Lexa was so discomforted, but she couldn’t help but be completely endeared by this new side of the leader of the Twelve Clans. “...I had not expected to be kissed.” Lexa eventually confessed something Clarke had already figured out for herself.

“Was it unpleasant?” Clarke wasn’t sure why she was pushing this. The Heda had said that she wasn’t upset, she should’ve just left it at that. But she couldn’t.

Green eyes locked on her again, a shy smile spreading and cheeks tinting slightly pink and Clarke couldn’t help the way her heart soared at the sight.

“No.” Lexa answered, but didn’t say anything else.

And this would definitely be the perfect place to stop and keep the ball in the Heda’s court and wait for her to make the next move. But Clarke had a sneaky suspicion that if she waited on the Heda to kiss her again she would be waiting forever.

Clarke would later wonder when exactly kissing Lexa again had moved to the top spot on her list of priorities.

“Would you like to kiss again?” Clarke asked with a confidence she didn’t feel, while flashing Lexa the Griffin trademark grin, the one guaranteed to charm even the most reluctant of hearts. Well, according to her dad it was how he had gotten her mom to take notice of him anyway.

Lexa’s smile dropped and she turned somewhat away from Clarke, shattering the blonde’s confidence instantaneously. Well, so much for the Griffin Grin.

“Or we don’t have to, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Clarke gracelessly backtracked even while her body subconsciously moved closer, head tilted to the side to gauge the Heda’s reaction.

“You want to kiss me again?” Lexa murmured.

Clarke didn’t want to answer too quickly, but she sensed that taking too long to answer would not be in her best interest. She was completely thrown by this turn of events and how different the Heda was to her usual stoic and intense self, so Clarke was just going with her gut response.

“Yes, Lexa,” she added the name for emphasis, “I would really like to kiss you again.”

Clarke smiled when Lexa’s cheeks grew darker, before bright green eyes looked at her, soft and open and absolutely breathtaking.

“I had never been kissed before.” Lexa softly admitted, body turning toward Clarke while the blonde fought very hard to not visibly react to _that_ surprising information.

 _What?_ _No way!_ Was her first response and _Seriously?_ was her second, which she thankfully didn’t voice out loud. Because the Heda was gorgeous, almost a century old and oozed torrents of sensuality like the river spilling over the cliff behind them. And god, Clarke just went and took her first kiss from her which she’d clearly been saving for whatever reason. Maybe it was a religious thing and the Heda had taken a vow of celibacy like the priests of Old Earth? Had kissing the Heda been sacrilege? Was there still a chance that Clarke would be executed for it?

Clarke’s head was spinning.

“I’m sorry, Heda, I didn’t mean to just take your first kiss like that. I should’ve asked for permission, but I really thought you wanted me to, I totally misinterpreted the situation –

“ _Leksa_.” The Heda smiled her correction and instantly stopped Clarke’s nervous rambling.

“Lexa...” Clarke breathed, in an attempt to forcibly calm herself.

“You have seen the way my people treat me, _Alehan_.”

Clarke was grateful to be called _Alehan_ again. It meant that the atmosphere was returning to its normal level of tension instead of the stifling awkwardness the conversation had started out with.

“None of them would dare touch me. Most are barely able to look me in the eye.”

Clarke nodded in thought. That was true. A bit sad actually. Lexa had beautiful eyes, worth getting lost in whenever possible.

“And Gustus?” Clarke dared to wonder.

Lexa chuckled in amusement and wrinkled her nose in distaste.

“ _Gostos_ is family.” She smiled and Clarke’s grin broadened.

“Okay. Good.”

The Heda cocked her head to the side.

“Good?”

Clarke bit the inside of her cheek in self-chastisement.

“I – uh – I just meant that – uhm-“ what? What was she possibly gonna say to not seem like she loves the fact that she was the only one to have ever kissed this gorgeous creature? “I’d just been wondering, since you guys are so close...”

“Oh.” Lexa nodded like she believed Clarke’s motivations to be so innocent.

So smart and yet so clueless when it came to this particular topic, as Clarke’s answer still didn’t explain her initial reaction. But the Heda seemed distracted and Clarke soon learned why.

“There had been someone once.” Lexa admitted then, the corners of her mouth pulling down.

Clarke found herself both saddened and irrationally jealous at this revelation. They’d just met. They barely knew each other and still Clarke felt completely invested. She’d spent the night chiding herself, knowing she was just blindly rushing into this thing with the Heda. And yet standing there in front of the vampire now, Clarke couldn’t think of a single reason not to.

“Yeah?” She tentatively prodded, needing as much details to try and figure out how to handle this situation so that she wouldn’t scare Lexa off again.

“Her name had been _Kostia_.” Lexa murmured. “Her mother had been sick and she came to me for help. She walked all the way from _Tondisi_ to Polis and I denied her, like I had done all requests of that nature. _Gostos_ gave her some herbs to try and she thanked us both before she left.”

“How was she expecting you to help?”

“Perhaps we could discuss that on a different occasion, Klark?”

Clarke just nodded. Patience. Patience and the Griffin Grin. That was all she would need when dealing with a woman, her father had said.

“She returned five weeks later. The herbs had worked and she presented myself and Gustus with a few pelts. She was one of few to say thank you and to include Gustus as well. It already made her different. She also looked me directly in the eyes... She knelt to me out of respect, but... She spoke to me as though I was human...”

Clarke wanted to say that Lexa was human. But that wasn’t entirely true, was it?

Lexa locked her eyes on Clarke. “She looked at me like you often do.”

Clarke wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer, but decided to ask nonetheless.

“How do I look at you?”

“Curious... Interested...” The Heda smiled.

“I can show you about a thousand people who are interested in you.”

“I may be naive concerning certain aspects of human nature, _Alehan_ ,” the Heda smirked familiarly and Clarke relaxed more to have her back, “but I do know what arousal is. I can scent it amongst my people when I get too close to some of them. Much as I can scent their fear. I am very aware of where their interest lay and it has little to do with getting to know me as more than just the Heda.”

And fuck, Clarke could’ve gone without knowing _that_. She tried to think back on that day in the Heda’s tent when she’d found the vampire butt ass naked. She’d definitely been turned on then. Was that why the Heda had been so amused? Because Clarke was reacting just like Lexa was used to having people react to her? Lexa hadn’t even been fazed by her presence then…

“Some have offered their bodies to me freely, others have fainted at the slightest touch. They grow up being taught to fear me and to worship me. That I am not like them. That I am _Heda_. And that is all I will ever be.” Lexa sadly murmured.

“Costia didn’t fear you?” Clarke asked, now hopeful that Lexa has had some form of that human interaction she’d clearly been lacking. Thank god for Gustus, even though it was just platonic, it was something at least.

“Initially she had. It is only a sense of self-preservation. I am a predator, after all.” Lexa lazily smirked. “But she had been a brave woman and she soon grew comfortable enough to talk with me and hold my hand...” The Heda sighed wistfully and her wings gloomily sagged. “I had been certain that she would kiss me on that day... We had arranged to meet again. I had been flying back from convening with the _Azgeda_ leader and _Kostia_ was always early... Something had happened to the scout on duty and he had not sounded the fog horn… It arrived just before I did...”

“That was the day you faced the fog?” Clarke realised it like a stab to the heart.

Lexa nodded. “I could hear her screaming... But the fog tore at my skin; ate away at my wings... Repeatedly healing the damage took all of my energy and I could not get to her, no matter how hard I had tried...”

Clarke swallowed thickly, even while Lexa seemed more in control of her emotions.

“I’m so sorry, Lexa.” She sincerely whispered.

“I had barely known her.” Lexa sadly smiled. “I could only mourn what might have been.”

Clarke nodded, at a loss as to what to say now. Lexa just looked at her for a long moment, while Clarke stared back uncertainly.

“Perhaps this time... I should not wait.” Lexa confidently stated and Clarke’s heart flipped so abruptly, she was sure that everyone back at Camp Jaha had heard it stutter.

“Uhm...” Clarke trailed off when Lexa was suddenly standing very close.

“May I kiss you?” Lexa murmured, staring intently at Clarke’s lips.

Clarke nodded absently, swallowing the sudden dryness in her mouth.

“I might not be very good at it though.” Lexa’s brows knitted and she tilted slightly back, to which Clarke immediately surged forward and pressed their lips together.

Clarke was on the verge of pulling away when the Heda remained rigid against her, but then almost melted into a puddle when Lexa gently pressed back.

The kiss was soft and slow, Clarke setting the pace and controlling the movement, Lexa eagerly following her lead. In fact, Clarke noticed that the Heda was mirroring her every move when she mechanically placed her hand on a leather clad hip and Lexa’s hand followed a moment after onto Clarke’s.

Clarke smiled against Lexa’s lips and placed an experimental hand on her waist, deepening the kiss when a strong slender hand gently caressed her ribs. It was Lexa who finally pulled their lips apart, Clarke fighting the urge to wrap a hand around her neck and pull her back in. The kiss hadn’t been earth shattering or mind blowing, it had been chaste and sweet and promising and it made Clarke feel lighter than she had in a very long time. It had the potential to become _epic_ if the Heda wasn’t still so cautious.

 _Patience and the Griffin Grin_.

Clarke smiled when she looked up into wide blown pupils gazing softly at her. She watched as Lexa tenderly returned her smile, before taking a step back and straightening her spine, giving her wings a little fluff before they settled neatly folded behind her back again.

“Kissing pleases me.” The Heda announced with her usual haughty air, before turning on her heel and stalking in the direction Gustus had gone.

Clarke just chuckled under her breath - lips pleasantly tingling, heart still joyously fluttering - and followed after the vampire.

* * *

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

For obvious reasons, Clarke enjoyed her walk from the waterfall a lot more than she had her walk toward it. No offense to Gustus. Kissing hadn’t been mentioned or instigated again, but Clarke did now have the opportunity to discuss what would happen once they arrived in Ton DC.

“So will the representatives of the Twelve Clans vote on whether they’ll help us against the Mountain Men?” Clarke worried.

Lexa smirked.

“They will do as I say.”

Clarke frowned.

“Then why are we wasting time gathering them all together and meeting with them about this?”

Of course if she had been them, Clarke would’ve wanted to know the situation she was marching into. Maybe that was it? A briefing on the assault on Mount Weather?

“I know my people and they will trust that I will not send them into a situation they cannot handle. The meeting is for the Sky People, _Alehan_.” Lexa replied. “If your people are to survive on my lands; if we are to work together to win this war; if this alliance is to last; you will need to earn the trust and respect of the clans.”

“You’re not just gonna tell them to like us?” Clarke smirked and Lexa breathed out a light chuckle through her pointy fangs.

“It would be in your best interest to earn their acceptance on your own. But should you be unable to, I will intervene.” She conceded much to Clarke’s surprise. “I hardly ever meddle in the affairs of my people. The _Maunon_ are one of very few exceptions. My people know my want for peace and that they may call on me when the threat is too great to solve on their own... I had learned many decades ago, that when you do everything for your people, they will never learn to do anything for themselves.”

Clarke nodded her agreement, thinking back on the way she’d been running around trying to keep everyone alive since she’d landed on the Ground. Sometimes she’d felt all alone in her worries; as though her people expected Clarke to do everything. She felt fortunate to have the friends she had, though. Very grateful that Bellamy had pulled his head out of his ass and now worked with her, instead of against her.

“Okay, so maybe you could tell me more about your people so we can try to impress them.” Clarke grinned and after a pleased smile at her initiative, the Heda began to speak.

* * *

 

Time flew as Clarke listened to the Heda offering information and advice. Despite the clear need to know more about Grounder politics, Clarke was also fascinated by the culture and still had plenty of questions left by the time they reached Camp Jaha’s gates later that afternoon.

Abby and Bellamy instantly moved toward them, but kept their distance, looking both furious and cautious. The Heda ignored them of course, all traces of the shy woman at the waterfall gone from her demeanour. It was a dangerously attractive duality: The stoic, intimidating Heda and the softer, somewhat adorable, Lexa; both rolled into one powerful, gorgeous and intelligent package.

Clarke realised then that she never really stood a chance.

“I enjoyed talking to you, Lexa.” Clarke softly admitted, very sure that the honour of knowing the vampire’s name was reserved solely for her and no one else. Oh, and Gustus too, of course.

“I am glad you came to find me.” The Heda stepped in close, intently staring at Clarke, so much so that the blonde wondered if Lexa would kiss her in front of everybody. And then Clarke wondered if the Heda forgot what personal space was because she wasn’t used to being so welcomed in it.

_‘None of them would dare touch me. Most are barely able to look me in the eye.’_

It would explain Lexa’s reactions to Abby and Raven, who had looked her in the eyes and engaged her directly. Abby’s non-sexual interest had also been very clear; the two of them hadn’t treated the Heda the way she was used to at all. And Clarke’s attraction to the vampire had been glaringly obvious right from the start.

“When would you like to leave tomorrow?” Clarke distractedly asked, while she greedily inhaled the scent of forest and freedom accosting her senses.

“You will need to travel half a day to reach _Tondisi_ , therefore the earlier you set out, the better.”

“You’re not coming with us?” Clarke’s brow crinkled in confusion.

The Heda’s lips curled into that amused smirk of hers.

“I will be flying, _Alehan_.” She reminded with sparkling eyes.

“Yeah, of course, I forgot.” Clarke sheepishly murmured, gaze flitting over those magnificent wings with appreciation and envy. “I’ll make sure that everyone’s ready early tomorrow morning.”

“ _Gud gada_.” The Heda grinned, baring her fangs and for the first time it wasn’t frightening. Clarke found that she’d grown rather endeared to the sight. “Enjoy your evening, Klark.” Lexa bowed her head in farewell.

In general – on anyone else – it would be a submissive action or used in deference. To Clarke it even felt slightly so. But it was executed with such an air of dashing charm and confidence that it seemed as though the Heda was taking back her control and asserting her dominance once again. Lexa flashed Clarke her trademark smirk - well aware of Clarke’s physical reaction to her – before she turned on her heel and swaggered toward her tent.

Clarke could do nothing but stare after the Heda with an admiring and lingering gaze.

* * *

 

She’d been lectured by first her mother and then Bellamy on not going off on her own.  It wasn’t so much that she’d gone off ‘hunting’, but more so that Gustus had returned without her and had then refused to acknowledge them or say anything as to Clarke’s whereabouts, instead just disappearing into his tent.

Clarke apologised because she understood why they were upset, but she really couldn’t be genuinely sorry. If she’d told them where she intended on going, they would’ve tried to stop her, or sent someone with her and the resulting fight would’ve been far worse.

Luckily she could cut Bellamy’s rant short by reminding him about their drinking plans and later that night they were gathered outside with O and Lincoln, sitting around a crackling fire to warm them against the evening chill. Everyone else had conspicuously been busy, thus creating a sort of double date effect that Clarke didn’t much care for. Raven, – clearly not part of the conspiracy – had flat out declined the invitation, choosing to haul up with Wick in Engineering, trying to figure out the composites of the acid fog. Clarke had really wanted Raven to be there too, but she knew it was probably too soon to strongly insist that Raven do anything she might not feel ready for.

Even through her worry about Raven, Clarke couldn’t stop her longing stares in the direction of the Heda’s tent. She was seated directly facing it on the other side of camp. Not a coincidence by the way. So it was for that reason then, that when Lexa ducked through the flaps and looked up, their eyes instantly met and Clarke’s heart did an elated jump at seeing her again.

Clarke had long ago checked out of the conversation happening around her. She thinks Bellamy had asked Lincoln about the Reapers, but Lexa was making her way over and Clarke’s breath became shallow as her pulse quickened. It wasn’t long before the others noticed the approach and blatantly and tensely stared at the prowling Heda until she stopped a few yards away.

Of course Lexa wouldn’t just come over.

Clarke quickly scrambled to her feet and hurried to her instead, unable to hide her growing smile even as the vampire remained stoic and regal.

“Hei, Lexa.” Clarke softly murmured, far enough from prying ears, though still in plain sight of her friends, a few guards and a few random Arkers enjoying the crisp evening air. All of them were closely watching the interaction of course.

“I am inured to being wanted, _Alehan_.” Lexa softly rasped, staring intently into Clarke’s face. “I am, however, not used to wanting... And I very much want to kiss you again.” She unabashedly admitted and Clarke’s grin grew wider and her stomach fluttered excitedly.

She almost kissed Lexa right then and there, before she remembered where they were. Clarke quickly turned to the Blakes, who had their eyes narrowed on her, Lincoln was respectfully averting his gaze like all Grounders tended to do when in the presence of their Heda. At least he wasn’t down on his knees again, probably because Octavia was sitting between them, so he had nowhere to go.

“Thanks for the drinks guys!” Clarke called, trying to act natural. “But the Heda and I have a few things to discuss before we set out tomorrow!”

She watched Octavia send a worried glance at Bellamy at her words. Bellamy just clenched his jaw before averting his gaze and took a sip of his drink. Octavia then looked back at Clarke and nodded stiffly, before she returned to her drink as well.

Clarke sighed, knowing that they didn’t trust Lexa; knowing why Bellamy was disappointed and why Octavia was rigid with protectiveness over her brother’s feelings. But she left them with an unanswered wave and led Lexa into the Ark. It would just seem more official if they met inside, rather than going to Lexa’s tent with all those eyes on them.

And then Clarke led the Heda straight to her quarters, which was probably worse, but at least no one saw them going in there and they would have some privacy.

Since they were conserving power, Clarke had to manually slide open the usually electronically operated door, but was still able to flip down the mechanism of the latch so that it would lock behind her. She then took off her jacket and watched the quiet Heda’s eyes rapidly take in her small room, before they settled on her sketchpad, still open on where Clarke had been trying to illustrate the Heda’s wings.

Interest piqued, Lexa was drawn to it like a moth to a flame, almost automatically paging through it, before Clarke remembered that more than half of the pages contained various sketches of the Heda herself.

“Those are private.” She blurted in a panic and Lexa instantly stopped her perusal to look at Clarke.

“My apologies, _Alehan_. They are very good.” She smiled and stepped away from the sketches. “You seem to be struggling with the detail in my wings.”

Clarke blushed but nodded.

“I haven’t had time to examine them as much as...” Clarke trailed off, she was going to say ‘as much as your face’.

Lexa tilted her head while she studied Clarke growing red in front of her, but she didn’t ask what Clarke had been about to say. Instead she stepped to the centre of the room, shifted diagonally and then spread her wings out. They spanned so large and wide, the tips touched the corners of each wall.

Clarke would’ve preferred to look at them in better lighting, but she wouldn’t pass up this opportunity and eagerly stepped closer. The detail was remarkable. On the topside of each wing, the feathers were smaller and closely cropped together, seemingly various shades of dark grey on the inside as opposed to the shiny black they reflected on the outside and as a whole. The feathers at the bottom were larger and longer and ink black. They were similar to the picture of an eagle’s wings that Clarke had once seen. She’d read through almost half of the Ark library while she was locked up in the Sky Box, having nothing but the distant Earth to stare at and wonder about...

Clarke reached out in automation to feel those glossy feathers, lips parted in amazement, but had enough sense to stop herself and dropped the hand to her side again, continuing her intense examination with eager eyes.

“You may touch me, Klark.” The Heda casually allowed with an authoritative nod.

Even while blushing profusely at Lexa’s words, Clarke reached up a trembling hand and brushed her fingertips over the smooth feathers. She was very careful though, not wanting to accidently dislodge one. They felt so warm… Like Lexa could feel each and every individual one.

Lexa just stood there, seemingly unperturbed, until Clarke’s hand moved to the top arch of her wing, running her fingers along where the bone – cartilage? - was thickest and the layer of feathers the thinnest. She paused when she heard the Heda’s breath hitch. But when she looked, Lexa was expressionless. So Clarke caressed over the soft feathers again, wanting to press her cheek against them, certain that they would be the plushest thing she’d ever rested against. A low purr then suddenly erupted from the Heda’s chest and into the silent room. Clarke jumped back in surprise, feeling a need to profusely apologise, even though she wasn’t sure for exactly what.

Lexa cleared her throat, licked her lips and locked wide blown pupils onto Clarke, causing Clarke’s stomach to clench at the hungry expression being directed at her.

“They are sensitive.” The Heda needlessly rasped and Clarke nodded as she inwardly grinned at this new information.

“May I?” Clarke asked, hand going up again, very eager to experiment some more, but not wanting to make Lexa uncomfortable.

The Heda’s cheeks flushed beautifully, but she nodded regardless and shifted her gaze ahead as though bracing herself. Clarke told herself that she would only touch for a little while, to see whether the feeling would pass should Lexa grow used to it. But when the involuntary purring started up again, and Lexa’s eyes hooded in pleasure, Clarke moved in front of her and reached out to touch both wings simultaneously.

“Lexa...” She murmured, face inches from the Heda’s, staring intently at her parted lips. They’d gone somewhere private to kiss, hadn’t they?

Lexa looked at her through absurdly long and dark lashes.

“ _Klark_?” She hoarsely responded and Clarke forgot about the wings, wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck, and locked their lips together.

Clarke was tentative at first; easing Lexa into the kiss and trying to just savour those luscious lips which seemed to cause a short-circuit in Clarke’s brain whenever they touched her own. But soon the kiss deepened when Lexa tilted her head to the side and Clarke pressed their bodies flush together.

Lexa was a lot more comfortable now, or maybe just turned on, because she confidently embraced Clarke back and held her close, reciprocating Clarke’s intensity as though they’d been kissing each other for years. Caught up in the moment – because blood wasn’t exactly rushing to her brain – Clarke forgot about Lexa’s inexperience and pushed her tongue into the vampire’s mouth. Lexa instantly went rigid and the purring stopped. It was like a bucket of ice water over the head as Clarke woke from her lustful daze and realised what she’d done.

Before she could panic a second longer though and pull away, Lexa wrapped a hand behind Clarke’s neck and pulled the blonde back onto her lips.  Clarke gasped in pleasant surprise and the Heda’s tongue boldly entered her mouth, eagerly continuing the kiss.

_Lexa was a fast learner. A fucking natural._

Clarke’s hands wandered, exploring the lithe body against her, making sure to keep it PG though. She fervently ran her fingers through the silkiest hair she’d ever felt in her life. Her heart hammered in her chest and her body was flushed and heated. Clarke felt out of control and it was both exciting and frightening the way she responded to Lexa.

Soon she was kissing up that perfect jaw line, and into the Heda’s neck, scraping her teeth over Lexa’s pulse point. Lexa let out a loud keening noise at the action, that sounded somewhere between pleasure and distress. Her legs buckled and Clarke had to hold the vampire up, to keep them both from falling down. The blonde slowed her movements then, tenderly running her tongue over the smooth expanse of skin and revelling in the loud purring resonating from Lexa’s body and straight into her own.

She affectionately nuzzled into the Heda’s neck, smiling when Lexa held her impossibly close and rubbed her cheek against the side of Clarke’s head as she lazily nuzzled back. Soon they were just hugging each other, slowly swaying in place.

Clarke hummed out a blissful sigh and relaxed fully against Lexa’s strong frame, the vampire having regained her legs after Clarke had stopped nibbling at her neck. The strong arms embracing Clarke tenderly tightened, and a moment later, Lexa’s wings covered Clarke too, creating a pitch black cocoon of soothing warmth.

It was an almost foreign feeling that Clarke experienced then. The last time Clarke had felt so calm and safe, had been when her father had hugged her. It was a strange thought to have, given how heatedly they’d just been kissing. But it might’ve especially been because of that, because Lexa truly was a very tactile being, given her actions around Gustus and now Clarke. She spoke her affections with her body and the message Clarke was currently receiving was one of solace and protection. Lexa had enjoyed the kissing, but it seemed as though she was enjoying the closeness too. Especially judging from the soft contented purring still vibrating throughout both of their bodies.

Clarke inhaled again, her cheek resting against the warm skin on Lexa’s shoulder and felt herself relaxing fully for the first time since she’d landed on the Ground. She hadn’t slept much the night before, so her eyes soon grew heavy and her body went slack, Lexa easily holding Clarke up against her and sheltering her with her wings.

_Sanctuary._

Was Clarke’s last coherent thought, before she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

Clarke startled awake, Lexa’s arms, wings and scent still around her the only thing that kept her from panicking. Her eyes fluttered open, confused and a bit pissed off to be woken like that. And then she wondered what exactly had woken her, because Lexa was extremely tense and no longer purring...  Clarke gently massaged her hand over the Heda’s back, about to ask what was wrong, when she heard Bellamy’s voice through the door.

“We’re coming in, Clarke!” Was the only warning she got, before two shots were fired at her lock and the door was then ripped open.

Bellamy and her mother stepped over the threshold, faces unable to hide their complete and utter shock at the image of Clarke wrapped up in the Heda’s arms and wings, sheltered even more protectively than before, after the gunfire.

She must’ve still been half asleep, because Clarke couldn’t bring herself to even attempt to move away from Lexa’s warmth.

“What the fuck, Clarke?!” Bellamy angrily and incredulously shouted.

Lexa’s arms tightened around her more forcefully and Clarke wanted to panic at that, but the Heda’s grip loosened almost instantly thereafter as though she’d lost herself for a moment. Clarke’s relief was fleeting though, because a low warning rumble came from the Heda’s chest and Clarke looked up into eyes as black as night, glaring directly at the barrel of Bellamy’s gun pointed at her. Large black wings unfurled themselves from Clarke’s body and spread wide and marvellously, making the Heda seem way too large for the room.

Clarke was tempted to rub Lexa’s wings again to get her to calm down, but instead she circled the Heda’s waist with one arm and moved within Lexa’s embrace to look at Bellamy and her gawking mother.

For a fleeting moment, Lexa’s obvious possessiveness had reminded Clarke of the way Finn had been in the end. Almost obsessive in his ‘love’ for her. It made her want to run from the Heda. But Clarke had thought about the creature way too much these passed few days. Lexa wasn’t entirely human, so Clarke couldn’t just expect her to react as one. There was something clearly – attractively – primal about her. And this situation was also very new to Lexa, so it just made sense that she would fall on her instincts in a moment like this.

Regardless, Lexa had behaved herself perfectly well. It was Bellamy and her mother who were breaking down doors, guns blazing and invading the little bit of privacy Clarke had left. Before Clarke could call them out on that though, Lexa spoke:

“Klark is safe with me, _Abi_.” The Heda very factually stated and Clarke couldn’t help but look up at Lexa and smile at the piercing green eyes focused on her mother.

Abby cleared her throat and nodded, seemingly in a daze, very clearly not knowing what to do about the fact that her daughter was alone in her room, _hugging_ a vampire.

“And Clarke feels that you both could’ve waited for a response before breaking down her door.” Clarke sarcastically retorted and pointedly glared at Bellamy, who was still glaring at Lexa but having had at least enough sense to lower his weapon.

“We didn’t know where you were and it’s after two in the morning.” Her mother explained.

God, she’d slept for almost five hours.

“Sorry, Mom.” Clarke sincerely apologised. “I was taking a nap and didn’t realise the time.”

“You were resting comfortably.” Lexa murmured, gaining Clarke’s attention again. “I did not wish to wake you with my departure.”

“Best sleep I’ve had in a long time.” Clarke directed the Griffin Grin up at Lexa, getting lost in the Heda’s face for a few moments before she remembered they had an audience and reluctantly dragged her gaze away.

“You guys should go get some rest, we’re setting out early in the morning.”

Abby still seemed in shock and Bellamy was bristling with ire, both not moving at all. Clarke felt Lexa straightening against her, wings lifting as high as the ceiling would allow, eyes growing dark again.

“Leave us.” The Heda commanded, probably upset that Clarke, as leader of the Sky People, wasn’t being listened to.

The threat was heard though and Abby quickly dragged Bellamy out of the room, sending a look at Clarke that told her she would have a lot of explaining to do later. Clarke let out a little annoyed whine at the interruption and rested back against the Heda. Lexa was so comfy; even the skin tight leathers she wore was soft and smooth and insulated by the vampire’s body heat. Clarke hadn’t ever slept standing up before. She hadn’t even thought it possible.

Lexa nuzzled her sweetly and Clarke grinned, her irritation leaving her instantly.

“I will leave you to rest.” Lexa softly murmured against the shell of her ear and Clarke shuddered. A soft kiss was then placed against her temple before Lexa stepped away and cold, unwelcome, air rushed at Clarke from all directions. “We may kiss more in _Tondisi_.” The Heda broadly grinned, cheekily flashing her fangs. “Sleep well, _Alehan_.” She happily called, before gracefully exiting through the mangled metal door and disappearing into the hall.

Clarke just softly laughed and threw herself onto the bed, not caring who was going to walk passed and see her. She knew her mom would be waiting somewhere close and would be by at any second to completely ruin her happy mood.

* * *

 

Predictably, not even five minutes later, Abby was seated on the cot, back resting against the wall as Clarke sat crossed legged at her side.

“What are you doing, Clarke?” Abby sounded concerned, exasperated and afraid, all at once.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course, Honey.”

Clarke believed that her mother believed that. But she also knew that Abby’s trust was conditional.

“You sent me to Earth, forced me to grow up, to become a leader... And now that you’re down here, you want to act like those expectations hadn’t changed me. That I haven’t been trying to do exactly that since the moment the dropship landed; to make _you_ proud of me.”

Abby was disconcerted enough by what Clarke was saying too ignore the fact that they weren’t speaking about why Clarke was hugging a vampire just a few minutes ago.

“I’m not trying to disregard all you’ve done, Clarke. I’m trying to do what I couldn’t when we were still in space... I’m trying to protect you.”

 _Well too little, too late_. Clarke didn’t voice that thought out loud, though. It wasn’t the point.

“Do you believe that I can lead our people? That I can save everyone from Mount Weather in that role?” Clarke asked what she needed to know instead.

Abby paused. Lexa hadn’t paused. Lexa had shown faith in her from the start. She had guided Clarke when it was needed it with knowledge and advice. Lexa had confidence in her because of Clarke’s actions. Because Clarke had repeatedly proven herself capable over the last few weeks and _still_ Abby doubted.

“You’re too young for that kind of responsibility.” Abby carefully started. “I believe you’ll be a great leader one day, but for now, I don’t see why you need to be. Marcus and I are here to relieve the burden we’d been forced to place on you. We appreciate and value your input. But keeping our people safe is _our_ responsibility, Clarke. It always has been and it should be now.”

Abby wasn’t lying, and she was being sincere. But she just wasn’t getting it. Yes, Clarke was young. Too young for most of the shit she’d gone through. But that didn’t change the fact that it had happened. There was no reverting now. Her experience had moulded her into the person she’d become. She’d _killed_ and _tortured_ people. Clarke couldn’t be her mother’s little girl anymore, sheltered from all the nastiness of the world. She would never get that innocence back that Abby was still so desperately clinging onto.

Clarke had so much to say and the nap had helped clear her mind enough for her to finally find the words to express herself.

“You let Dad die...” Clarke whispered and Abby flinched as though she’d been physically struck. “I trusted you to protect us. I thought you could do anything. And you let him die and you let me get locked up.” Clarke clenched her jaw, fighting the stinging in her eyes, because they haven’t really had a chance to talk about this and they might as well now.

Even though Clarke understood why her mother had been forced to let it happen, it still didn’t take away the utter disappointment and betrayal she had felt. She’d been closer to her dad yes, but her mom? Clarke’s mom had been her hero. Someone untouchable, respected and admired on the Ark. Clarke had been proud to be her mother’s daughter. She wanted to be just like Abby.

“And I trusted Wells and he lied to me and I wasted all that time hating him and then he just died...” Clarke shakily remembered, and allowed Abby to pull her closer. “And Finn never told me about Raven and I thought I knew him, but I didn’t... and then he went and did what he’d done...” Her breath hitched. “And Bellamy... I thought he was my friend. My brother. And now he’s just ruined _everything_ between us.” She quietly cried into her mom’s shoulder, wiping her tears on Abby’s shirt. There hadn’t been a chance to mourn or contemplate anything before. Nothing had been what she thought it was and Clarke was just so tired of all the lies and uncertainty.

“And while I was up in Mount Weather, there was this moment where I allowed myself to believe Dante Wallace. To believe that I was _finally_ safe. And I thought about finding everyone and taking them there, but it was just another lie. I was _never_ safe.” Clarke bitterly laughed even while her cheeks were wet with tears. “I hadn’t felt even remotely safe since Dad died.” She ignored the way Abby’s body shook with sobs she refused to let out, trying to give Clarke her moment.

“But tonight, when she was holding me, not asking for anything, not needing me to be anyone other than who I am now... When she was just honest to god holding me in her arms just for the sake of holding me close, I felt _safe_ and comforted for the first time in a long time, Mom. And I’m not going to apologise to you or Bellamy for enjoying that feeling in the privacy of my own room.”

Abby bit her lip, tears rolling down her cheeks and just nodded against Clarke’s head, stroking her hair and saying absolutely nothing until Clarke finally relaxed and allowed her mother to give her comfort too.

* * *

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Clarke spent the night sleeping with her head in her mother’s lap, Abby’s fingers never ceasing their soothing combing through her hair. They’d both been so elated that the other was alive that they’d ignored everything else that had happened before being reunited on the Ground. Clarke hadn’t realised just how much she’d still resented Abby for what had happened with her father. It would take some time for them to work through their issues, but both Abby and Clarke were a lot more aware of the wall that had been built between them.

Clarke was very open to trying to save her relationship with her mother, but first she needed to get the Ark delegation to Ton DC and meet with the clan representatives. Then she needed to get her people out of Mount Weather.

Awkwardly, she made her way through Engineering, where Raven was predictably tinkering with some sort of device that Clarke didn’t recognize in its disassembled state. She had a big favour to ask the brunette and it felt disturbingly similar to that night they’d spoken about Finn surrendering himself.

“Hey Raven...” Clarke greeted and went to stand in front of her.

Raven’s injury had somewhat healed, but it was still a hassle for her to move easily, so Clarke made sure to position herself so that the brunette didn’t have to move from her seat.

“Hi.” Raven murmured back, keeping her eyes focused on her work.

She didn’t seem angry anymore. Just so unbelievably sad. Clarke rather preferred an angry Raven, but this wasn’t about what she wanted.

“I need to ask you a favour...” Clarke nervously wet her lips, mouth dry with trepidation. Because this wasn’t a favour as such; Raven had little choice in the matter.

“What now?” Raven sighed, finally and reluctantly meeting Clarke’s gaze.

“The Heda has expressed an interest in what you do here...” Clarke decided to just let it all out. “With engineering in general and the work you’ve been doing with regards to Mount Weather in particular... She’s requested to spend some time with you this morning, before she flies to Ton DC to catch up with us later.”

Clarke silently cursed Lexa’s fucking curiosity. The Heda had offered no opinion on the plan and Clarke had a suspicion that the only reason that was, was because Lexa was still figuring out everything she could first. And that would involve speaking to Raven. Clarke had told the Heda that she wasn’t an engineer or mechanically inclined whatsoever, and could only give her superficial information. She should’ve just stuck to how they were used to doing things: Lexa asks Clarke and Clarke goes and gets the answers. But Clarke would be in Ton DC soon and far away from Raven, and the Heda was extremely persuasive when she wanted information.

“No.” Raven deadpanned, sort of reminding Clarke of Lexa and she almost smiled, but sighed instead.

“We both know that wasn’t a request, Raven.”

“So you’re forcing me to do it? Nice to see your new position hasn’t gone to your head.” Raven snorted derisively.

“She needs to see what you do because you’re the most important part of this plan.”

“Don’t fucking patronise me, Princess.”

Clarke chuckled wryly.

“If you hadn’t built a spaceship to come to Earth, I don’t think any of us would still be alive.” Clarke sincerely told her. “Without you, that bridge wouldn’t have been blown up and we wouldn’t have been able to defend the Dropship...”

“Repaired it; I didn’t _build_ anything.” Raven muttered, but seemed a whole lot less defensive after having her brilliance acknowledged.

“It was my mistake to tell the Heda how important you are to this plan. And that’s not patronising you. It’s the god’s honest truth. And if I could explain to her everything she wanted to know without involving you, I would’ve. I swear, Raven. My job here is to go and play nice with the Grounders in Ton DC so that after Mount Weather we can all live together in peace, but everyone knows that this plan is all on you.”

Yes, to a less intellectual and more dangerous extent, it was on Bellamy and Lincoln too. Everyone had their parts to play, but Clarke had found that stroking an engineer’s ego could get her out of a lot of trouble.

“I’ve given Kane instruction to get you whatever you need. He thinks he’s in charge while we’re gone, but actually you are.” Clarke chuckled when Raven smirked. “So... will you agree to see the Heda, please?”

“Fine.” Raven acquiesced with a flippant eye roll. “She can come.”

Raven didn’t make any demands that Lexa shouldn’t touch anything, or stay out of her way. Raven knew better than that. Raven’s always been a lot smarter than the rest of them. But she also had way too much heart that she sometimes chose to lead with instead of her brain…

“Raven...” Clarke waited till Raven was looking at her. “Please don’t attack her again, okay?” She earnestly warned. “She _will_ kill you. And if she does that, we’re all fucked. I mean it. We need you. _I_ need you.” Clarke earnestly declared and it probably sounded like she was laying it on a bit thick, but she wasn’t lying and she hoped that Raven knew that too.

“Sure, Princess.” Raven smirked a little, as though she was planning something. Clarke really hoped that Raven was just fucking with her.

Yes, they had a sexy vampire and a massive Grounder army, but there had always been a sexy vampire and massive Grounder army. What’s going to be different now, was that they had Raven’s mind to add to that powerful equation.

* * *

 

Clarke’s never had a child, but she imagined that leaving your child at school for the first time would feel similar to leaving Lexa behind in Engineering: You didn’t want to leave her alone and you hoped to god that she had fun, learned something new and made some friends and didn’t then bite and/or murder those friends before the final bell rang. Or maybe you only felt that last bit when your child was a volatile vampire...

 _Sigh_.

Clarke made sure that Kane would keep their people away from Engineering and more specifically Lexa, and that he would indeed give Raven whatever she needed. There was much of the plan they were still overlooking. Little snags Clarke was sure they would come across later. She trusted Raven to find these. God forbid Bell and Lincoln were already inside Mount Weather and they’d missed something crucial. This mission was dangerous enough without going in unprepared.

The small delegation stood waiting for her by the gates after Clarke finally completed her rounds.

Gustus had packed up their tents onto the cart, leaving one horse in case a message needed to be sent to Ton DC. Abby and Byrne were talking to one side, the Blakes and Lincoln on the other. And the group of six Ark guards that would accompany them, restlessly mulled about. The Heda had approved the latter joining them and Clarke worried how safe they would be in Ton DC if Lexa thought the guards necessary. Clarke really hoped that they were just for protection along their journey.

Bellamy had been avoiding her all morning and O wasn’t any better. Clarke wondered if he’d told his sister about how he’d found Clarke wrapped up in the Heda’s wings. But then she decided that she really didn’t care and went to join Gustus who then insisted she sit with him on the cart.

Clarke offered her seat to her mother instead, who just waved her off, clearly wary of Gustus and Clarke let it go only because she wanted to use the travel time to speak with Lexa’s friend.

Gustus steered the horse slowly enough as to not force the others to have to rush to keep up with them, but they still rode little ways ahead of the delegation. It was over an hour of predictable silence, before Clarke finally broke.

“Are there others like her out there?”

Gustus let out a long suffering sigh and for a moment Clarke thought he wouldn’t answer.

“There used to be many others... But none quite like her.”

Clarke nodded thoughtfully, blindly staring in front of her while she bit back her follow up questions. She looked to Gustus and scoffed when he lowly chuckled at her expense.

“Why don’t you ask me what you want to know, _Strik Alehan_.” He stated more than questioned.

“Because I don’t want to upset you.” Clarke honestly replied.

“I have lived long and I have seen much. I do not fear questions.” Gustus smirked. “Those things I do not wish you to know, I simply will not say.”

Clarke didn’t need more encouragement than that.

“What happened to the others?”

“Many were born different after the bombs...” Gustus’ expression had turned grim again. “Many were culled after birth. Those who survived, were hunted down and killed. The few left, were angry. They declared war on those not like them. When _Leksa_ had been forced to choose a side... She chose to protect those people who saw her as a monster. Who sought to kill her just because she was different. But she protected them, and then became their Heda.”

Clarke smiled. Lexa wasn’t as stoically unaffected as she pretended to be.

It must’ve been all the radiation from the bombs that had caused the mutations in the children born so soon after they’d dropped... Clarke wondered what different mutations there had once been, whether Gustus also suffered any. But could it have just been that? Lexa seemed more supernatural than simply having experienced a genetic mutation like the two headed deer Clarke had seen seemingly forever ago…

“She said that you’ve been with her for a long time... Are you also...”

Gustus shook his head ‘no’ at the half-spoken question. “How I am what I have become, is for Heda to tell.”

Clarke nodded again and focused on the road. All the answers she received always seemed to lead to more questions.  

“She...” Clarke didn’t quite know how to put it without it sounding offensive. “I’ve read about animal behaviour before... About dominance and how territorial certain predators can become...” She nervously cleared her throat, but was motivated by the fact the Gustus was silently listening and waiting for her to get to her point. “She’s so human, like more human than some people I’ve met.” Clarke chuckled humourlessly. “But certain times, well, she’s _not_...” Clarke bit her lip and cringed at her choice of words.

Gustus – thankfully – seemed to understand what she was getting at.

“ _Leksa’s_ mind is as bright as the sun.” He proudly stated. “Her heart is as large as the moon.” He fondly smiled. “But she’s not entirely human, no. She is more. She is better than us...” He trailed off as if gathering his thoughts, so Clarke patiently waited for him to continue. “It has taken time for her to control her natural instincts. Where she slips is when it comes to those she cares about. She is very protective.” He needlessly reminded. “This experience is new to her. _You_ are new to her.” Gustus almost accused Clarke who gaped at the sudden severity in his tone. “If you hurt her, I will snap you in half.”

Clarke’s eyes widened, because she didn’t doubt his word for a second. She could actually picture Gustus picking her up and then bending her spine over his knee to snap her into two bloody pieces.

“Okay...” She gulped down her nerves. “So how about you tell me more about her, so I don’t unintentionally hurt her?” Cue Griffin Grin.

Gustus remained unaffected though. Apparently the Griffin Grin only worked on Lexa. And then only sometimes.

“Rub her belly when she’s upset.” He deadpanned and Clarke had to bite hard on her lip to keep from laughing.

“Seriously?”

Gustus nodded very seriously. “The challenge is getting close enough to do so.”

He remained silent after that, and Clarke was too lost in her own thoughts to be bothered by it.

* * *

 

They arrived in Ton DC to a cold welcome; the people still clearly upset at what Finn had done. They shouted and jeered and glared, looking anything but welcoming and Clarke and the rest of the Sky People were clutching their weapons tightly as it seemed as though they would be attacked at any second.

Clarke looked to Gustus, who was glaring at Indra not doing a damn thing to control her people. He looked about to say something when the Heda landed in the middle of the rowdy crowd, eyes dark and angry, and every Grounder in sight summarily dropped to their knees. Even Gustus.

_Right, he was pretending he didn’t braid the Heda’s hair and shout at her whenever he wanted to in private._

Smiling at the memory, Clarke lowered as well, motioning her delegation down too, but soon returned her gaze to Lexa, because how could she _not_ look at her.

“Come closer, Indra.” The Heda commanded, not deigning to look in Indra’s direction.

Clarke watched the proud woman struggling with herself to keep her posture humbled. She walked till she stood in the Heda’s line of sight. Clarke noticed that Indra kept at least six feet between them, and averted her gaze to stare at the Heda’s boots.

“The Sky People fight with us now.” The Heda stated. “You will show them respect.”

“ _Sha, Heda_.”

“The price for the massacre had been paid; Blood has answered blood.”

“ _Sha, Heda_.”

“Control your people or I will take penance for their disobedience.”

Indra fell to her knees. The threat seemingly hitting her hard and Clarke noticed that the other Grounders had grown even more rigid.

“ _Sha, Heda_.” Was all Indra said though.

Had Lexa just threatened to take their blood? To start killing people? Clarke wasn’t so sure how she felt about Lexa ruling and keeping control through fear. In her opinion, the vampire was charismatic enough to be followed without having been subjugated into doing so. But Clarke was biased and privy to a side of the Heda she doubted anyone save Gustus had the privilege of seeing.

Before she could contemplate it more, intense green eyes were focused on her.

“Rise, Klark of the Sky People.” The Heda spoke, stoic mask in place and Clarke did as instructed. “You journeyed well?”

“ _Sha, Heda.”_ Clarke smiled. “Gustus is such a talker, I hardly noticed the time passing.”

The large man grunted and huffed out a sardonic chuckle and Lexa’s lips twitched slightly, but didn’t allow the smile threatening to spread on her face.

“Indra will show you to your accommodations and once you have settled, we will make introductions to the representatives of the twelve clans.”

“ _Mochof, Heda_.” Clarke couldn’t stop smiling at her because during their long journey, Clarke found that she’d actually missed the Heda.

Finally, Lexa allowed herself to softly return Clarke’s smile and then with a little nod, she took flight again.

* * *

 

The meeting with the clan leaders was every bit as intense as Clarke had anticipated. She’d taken Bellamy with her and he, like most of the other men in the room, was bristling with agitation. The Grounders clearly didn’t trust them. Like Lexa had warned, the Sky People were way too similar to the Mountain Men, as was the crux of most of their arguments against the alliance.

The Heda, for her part, sat silently observing them from her throne, separate from the table they were all circled around. They left a space at the head of it though, allowing the Heda a clear view of them and the table. Apparently, Lexa hadn’t been lying when she said that this meeting was for the Arkers, because she didn’t offer any input and Clarke knew that it was only the vampire’s presence that kept the growling insults from turning physical.

Bellamy was defensive and Clarke knew he was worried about how much time they were wasting on politics. He wanted to get to the Mountain. He’d said as much the evening before. That Monty would be able to make contact with Raven if Bellamy could only get to him. Clarke had just told him no, not wanting to voice her fear out loud that Monty might not be alive to help them. Of course she hoped with all of her heart that that wasn’t true, but if it was and Bell acted too soon, Clarke would lose him too. And she really couldn’t stand losing any more people.

Clarke was shaken from her thoughts by Bellamy’s furious shouting at some guy named Quint. He was by far the boldest of the Grounders in his hatred. But his anger was controlled and his words measured while he sneered at Bellamy, who appeared almost petulant in response.

They seemed like a bunch of children playing at war in comparison to these seasoned warriors.

“Enough.” Lexa’s voice, not even raised, echoed through the room and instantly Quint backed away. “We will resume this in the morning. You may leave.” She dismissed with a clearly agitated wave of her hand.

The Grounders all bowed to her and started shuffling out without another word.

“Sky People stay.” The Heda’s voice was harder now and Clarke tensed, looking to where Lexa still sat up on her dais.

Bellamy stood rigid and glaring at Lexa so Clarke took him by the elbow, cringing inwardly when Lexa’s gaze lowered to the contact, eyes growing obsidian.

_Shit._

Clarke let go of Bellamy as soon as they were in front of the Heda and then looked at her expectantly. She knew why Lexa was upset; why she had asked everyone to leave. Lexa had told her that this was their ‘in’ and they’d ended up causing even more antagonism.

“Why is he here?” Lexa asked Clarke, ignoring Bellamy completely.

“I trust him, Heda.” Clarke confidently answered.

She was pretty sure Lexa wouldn’t hurt her. Clarke wasn’t sure why she was so sure, but she just was. Bellamy’s safety, however, was a different matter entirely. And Clarke hadn’t been this terrified of what the Heda might do since the first day Lexa had swooped into Camp Jaha.

“Why?” Lexa asked, tilting her head to the side, like she was honestly trying to understand.

“We’ve been through a lot together. I couldn’t have kept my people alive for so long without him. They count on both of us.”

“He is impulsive.” Lexa stated.

“He’s worried, Heda.” Clarke spoke up when it looked like Bellamy was about to snap at Lexa. “We’re both worried about our people. The longer we wait to act, the more people might die in that mountain.”

“It takes as long as it takes.” Lexa lazily drawled and Clarke wasn’t fast enough to stop Bellamy from snapping that time.

“Do you even have feelings?!” He snarled. “You might be fine with having your people bled to death, but _we_ aren’t! That’s what makes _us_ human! We don’t sit around on our thrones on a major power trip and let our people _die_!”

Clarke was caught between reprimanding him for what he’d said about Lexa and agreeing with the need to do something other than waiting and planning. Her brief hesitation was enough for Lexa to act. So fast that Clarke barely registered the movement before Lexa had Bellamy by the throat, towering menacingly over him from her dais.

“You _act_ before you _think_.” Lexa lowly snarled down at him. “If we make our move too soon, the _Maunon_ will know that we are coming for them. They will panic, and if we are not ready when that happens, our people will suffer it. My army will suffer it.”

Clarke watched the way the muscles in Lexa’s arm lightly twitched, but there was no other sign that she was struggling to hold Bellamy’s weight. Clarke’s mouth opened and closed again, wondering what to say that wouldn’t make this situation ten times worse. Though Lexa’s grip was tight, she wasn’t yet constricting. Bellamy was still able to stutter out a few strained breaths while he futilely tried to pry Lexa’s hand away from his throat.

“Since you came to my lands, you have done nothing but _react_. React to my people, react to the _Maunon_. React to not being in space.” The Heda sneered. “Even now, in spite of seeing what I am, what I am capable of, you do not _think_ and choose to act on your impulse to provoke me.” It was only then that she started squeezing, Clarke could see by the way Bellamy’s eyes widened and his mouth gaped. “You mistake foolishness for bravery, _Boy_.”

“Heda...” Clarke’s breath hitched, her hand rising of its own accord to touch Lexa on the inside of her elbow and was promptly hissed at, sharp canines bared in tacit warning to back off. Black eyes not even seeing Clarke as they stared at the hand connected to the Heda’s elbow.

But apparently Clarke was also more foolish than brave as she tried to make eye contact with the Heda and remained close even as her heart stuttered in fear.

“He’s the only one who can get into the Mountain. He’s the only one I trust to go. The only one our people in Mount Weather will follow. He’ll do it for our friends and to keep his sister safe.” Clarke started with facts, knowing Lexa cared little about anyone save Gustus and would kill Bellamy without a second thought. “He knows the plan. Raven’s spent hours teaching him what the acid fog dispersal system might look like; the type of radios in Mount Weather he might find and which frequency to call us on. I agree with you that our timing should be right, that we should be prepared, but we also don’t have the time to train someone else.” Clarke took a breath when Lexa’s grip relaxed slightly and Bellamy sucked in a few sharp breaths of his own. “He’s needed for our plan to succeed, Heda. And I’ll be sure to attend tomorrow’s meeting on my own. I understand what’s at stake for my people and it was my mistake to bring him with me, knowing his temper.”

Clarke couldn’t look at Bellamy. She was trying to assuage Lexa, yes, but she was also telling the truth. She shouldn’t have brought Bell with her. He’s always had issues with authority. She shouldn’t have expected him to accept the Grounder hierarchy and fit into his place within it. Clarke had most likely discredited her own abilities as leader with the other clans by allowing his numerous, belligerent outbursts throughout the meeting.

Lexa continued to glare at Bellamy.

“Be thankful your leader has a use for you, _Foolish Boy_.” She menacingly sneered. “Though next time your imprudence overwhelms you, I will kill you regardless of that fact.” She lowly snarled and finally released him to the ground.

It took all Clarke had not to instantly fall to his side and check on him. Instead she watched Lexa seat herself again and waited while the Heda’s dark eyes stoically trailed over her.

“Am I dismissed, Heda?” Clarke lifted her chin, unwilling to keep the bite out of her tone.

The Heda lifted a brow, then blinked a few times, her eyes returning to their usual hue. Lexa’s brows then knitted together in confusion, then her jaw clenched, before all emotion left her features.

“Yes.”

* * *

 

Bellamy allowed Clarke to support him till they were clear of the war tent and he finally managed to get enough oxygen back into his system and then promptly pushed her away.

“ _That’s_ what you want?” His voice croaked with emotion and from his bruised oesophagus and ego. “You’d follow that _thing_ around and betray your own people? She’s a fucking _animal_ , Clarke! Who the hell are you even?”

Clarke’s jaw clenched.

“First of all,” she seethed through gritted teeth, “everything I’ve done since I got on the fucking Ground has been _for my people_.” She took a threatening step into his space. “Secondly, that you had some preconceived notion as to who you think I am? That’s on _you_ , not me.” She emphasised with a sharp finger to his chest. “And lastly, you don’t know _shit_ about the Heda, so don’t you dare speak about her like that again!”

Bellamy stared at her with wide eyes filled with anger, incredulity and hurt before he spun on his heel and stormed off.

Clarke exhaled a sharp breath and turned in the opposite direction, coming face to face with the Heda, her agitation quickly flaring up again.

“Not now, Lexa.” Clarke angrily snarled and side-stepped the vampire, not sure where she was going, but needing to clear her head.

She wasn’t surprised when Lexa listened and didn’t follow after her. Nor was she surprised when Gustus trailed her from a few yards away, always keeping her in his sight to make sure she stayed safe.

* * *

 

Clarke was sitting alone in the room that had been assigned to her, when there was a knock on the door. Thinking that it might be Octavia again come to shout at her for the state of Bellamy’s neck, she dragged her feet, but opened the door regardless, only to find the Heda there, looking as awkward as Clarke had ever seen her. Clarke hadn’t thought that possible after their talk at the waterfall.

“Are you willing to speak to me yet, Klark?” Lexa softly asked, a fang poking out and worrying at a plump bottom lip.

Clarke sighed at just how fucking easy she was when it came to this woman and motioned the Heda inside.

“You are upset with me.” Lexa stated the second Clarke had closed the door behind them, not bothering to beat around the bush.

“Listen, I get that you need to be a certain way and that you have been that way for a very long time. And I’m not here to disrespect that role. But you can’t go around choking my people and expect me to just be fine with that. Maybe if we weren’t making out every chance we got, it would be easier to not be affected, but I can’t just switch off my emotions like that.”

“Making out?” Lexa’s brows furrowed and it completely threw Clarke off of her tangent.

“Kissing.” She explained, wanting to roll her eyes at herself. “Heatedly.” She added so Lexa would get the difference.

“Oh.” The Heda let slip a tiny grin, looking pleasantly lost in thought for a moment, like she was remembering the night before.

“I’m still angry with you.” Clarke felt the need to remind her and the Heda’s blissful look disappeared.

“I apologise.” Lexa said, void of any inflection.

“Yeah, you sound sorry.”

“Words mean little, Klark. I can only show you my remorse if you allow me to in future. I am not used to being concerned about anyone other than _Gostos_. I admit that seeing you touch him increased my ire, and I am not entirely certain why it had the severe reaction that it had. But this is new to me. I will make mistakes. But I am what I am and what I had told him was not wrong.”

Clarke nodded that she agreed and understood, because she really did.

“I don’t like being scared of what you might do, Lexa.” She admitted. “But if you want me to be scared of that and just focus on getting done what needs to get done to save our people, then fine. But then you can’t come to me like this. Being like _this_. Being _Lexa_ and expect me to just forget what happened. It’s not fair. If you want to continue whatever this is that’s happening between us, you’ll need to respect me. And I’m not asking you to treat me differently in front of our people. But you could’ve let Bellamy leave and spoken to me about your concerns in private. As leader of the Sky People, I am responsible for his actions, so you should’ve come to me so that I could then speak to him. If he didn’t listen after that, then I would’ve understood why you took action.”

“You never had anything to fear.” Lexa looked perplexed. “And I do respect you, Klark. If I did not, the Boy would be dead.”

“Then can you please come to me first if any of my people upset you again? We don’t know your ways yet. We’re going to offend you without meaning to. And when that happens, I promise to deal with it. Okay?” Clarke requested, realising Bellamy pointing a gun at Lexa and living to tell about it was already a lot of mercy from the Heda.

“Of course.” Lexa sternly nodded and then started toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Clarke wondered.

“Are you not still upset with me?”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh lightly.

“Not even half as much as I probably should be.” She smiled and felt the last bit of her anger melt away when Lexa returned it with a large toothy grin.

“I am pleased, _Alehan_.”

Clarke just playfully rolled her eyes and moved to the table where her cold food still sat. She was about to ask Lexa if she was hungry when she noticed how the Heda was intently studying her face.

“What?” Clarke awkwardly muttered, fighting a flush from spreading.

Lexa stepped closer, her eyes still languidly trailing over Clarke’s features.

“It has become rather difficult to ignore that your injuries have healed…” The vampire distractedly murmured.

“Yeah...” Clarke self-consciously touched her face, unable to remember the last time she wasn’t injured in some way or running from someone. Since the Heda appeared, Clarke’s frenzied existence on the Ground had calmed down considerably.

Lexa then lifted her hand and gently traced her fingers over Clarke’s heated cheek.

“I had not thought it possible, Klark, but you have become even more beautiful.”

And god, it sounded like such a line, and if anyone else had said it, Clarke would’ve laughed in their faces. But Lexa was gazing at her with such earnest awe, that Clarke could only blush in delight, before she pressed forward and eagerly kissed the freakishly charming vampire.

* * *

 


	9. Chapter 9

Clarke stood on the side-lines of the training grounds in Ton DC and watched as Octavia sparred with the rest of Indra’s Seconds.

Her meeting that morning had gone far better than she’d hoped. Clarke would never say it out loud, but she hated disappointing Lexa. The Heda trusted Clarke to be a good leader; trusted her opinion and listened when she spoke, and Clarke would rather not make out with her ever again, than lose the Heda’s respect.

“Remember, you stand on common ground, Klark.” Lexa had softly murmured to her before they’d entered the war tent.

So during the clan meeting, Clarke had asked the representatives about their clans, asked about their personal histories within the coalition and against the Mountain. The last one was the perfect ice breaker as it highlighted a mutual hatred and loss. Clarke shared everything that had happened since her capture at the Dropship, how her people were still trapped in Mount Weather, how she and Anya had escaped, been chased down and had discussed the possibility of an alliance. Clarke wasn’t even surprised at the pull the deceased warrior’s name still had amongst her peers.

Anya had been one impressive lady.

And while they continued to swap questions and offer solutions, the Heda had risen from her throne. The Grounders had fallen to their knees, Clarke had too, but was the only one who dared to look up and see the pleased smile on the Heda’s face.

“Continue.” Was all the Heda had said, before she smoothly ducked out of the tent. Gustus had stayed behind though, Clarke presumed to keep an eye on things. Or most probably an eye on Clarke.

She’d noticed the prideful smirks on the other leaders’ faces then, and was sure her own face mirrored the same expression. The Heda had trusted them to play nice and they weren’t planning on disappointing her. Only Quint was still being an ass, but he’d been outnumbered, so continued to silently stew in his own rage.

It was after the meeting that Clarke’s eyes had wandered across camp in search of the Heda and instead found Octavia severely beaten, yet somehow miraculously still standing. She’d been halfway to rallying the troops when O had told her that she had just been sparring. By _choice_. Clarke didn’t get the kind of sparring that resulted in the state of Octavia’s face, but she had let it go. Because Lincoln was hovering nearby and would protect O if need be. Clarke thought that Lincoln would even face his Heda if it meant protecting Octavia.

Bellamy was off brooding somewhere in one of the few buildings in the village, and her mother was animatedly speaking to Nyko, the Triku Healer, while Byrne vigilantly shadowed her. The remaining guards were all watching Octavia, and Clarke suspected they would soon be willingly getting their asses kicked as well.

It was progress, and the alliance was growing stronger. Octavia was the perfect ambassador to narrow the gap between Skaikru and Trikru.

Bellamy hadn’t spoken a word to Clarke since the incident with the Heda the day before. He and Lincoln were due to leave the next morning and Clarke wanted to talk to Bell before then, but she was feeling selfish and just wanted to enjoy her good mood for just a little bit longer.

Gustus was still trailing her all throughout camp, so Clarke slowed her steps and backtracked till she was walking next to the man who let out a heavy sigh at the large grin she sent him, already anticipating more questions.

“Why is it that Heda doesn’t spend time with her people?” Clarke began her questioning, having started to feel as comfortable around Gustus as she did Lexa. “Because she’s great. I mean she’s just lovely...” Clarke dreamily professed and shook her head at herself.

Who the hell called people ‘lovely’ even? Not anyone from that century for sure. But the Heda was most definitely that.

“We are going to war and all you two can speak of is each other.” Gustus muttered in reprimand and Clarke’s grin grew brighter.

“She talks about me?” Clarke stopped walking and stood expectantly in front of Gustus. “What does she say?”

Gustus stared at her for a long moment, face unreadable…

“Too much.” He deadpanned and continued walking on.

Clarke pondered that for a while, feeling sort of giddy, but was distracted by an Ark guard on horseback, frantically galloping toward her.

“Chancellor!” He called, and it was only at the last second, just before Clarke was about to turn to look for her mother, that she realised that he had been addressing _her_.

“What’s wrong?” Clarke warily asked when he pulled up next to her, noticing his panicked face and the way he looked around camp.

“Is there somewhere private to talk?”

Clarke nodded warily and lead him toward the empty war tent.

* * *

 

It was almost two hours later before Lexa returned to her tent – situated about half a mile outside of Ton DC - from wherever she went to to avoid her people, and Clarke was finally able to tell her what had happened. Clarke had already spoken to her delegation and instructed Bellamy and Lincoln to postpone their hike up to the mountain. They needed to keep the information from the other clans though, such a setback would just reinstate doubt in the Skaikru.

Bellamy wasn’t happy about having to wait longer still, but what could they do? At least Clarke could count on Lincoln and Octavia to keep him in check while she and Lexa dealt with this latest crisis.

So it was with that small comfort to her panicked mind that Clarke awkwardly wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck and allowed the Heda to lift her up bridal style.

“Calm yourself, _Alehan_.” Lexa soothed with a beatific smile. “You are safe with me.”

Clarke distractedly nodded.

But when Lexa leapt up into the air, and Clarke’s stomach lurched in protest, she clenched her eyes shut and pressed her face into the Heda’s shoulder. Her body was tensed in fear as those magnificent wings powerfully flapped to push them higher and higher still. It was scary; the loud whooshing sound they made, the jerking of Lexa’s body with each vigorous, downward stroke. It lasted a few terrifying moments, before the entire world seemed to still around them...

Clarke opened one eye first and noticed a large wing spread out horizontally. They were effortlessly gliding through the air and Clarke felt almost weightless. She then glanced across the horizon at the low hanging sun and finally relaxed against Lexa’s chest when she was struck dumb by the sheer beauty of the Earth.

They didn’t speak at all while Clarke took in the Ground from this new angle. Unlike her view from the Ark, the details were a lot more distinct and unlike down below, where she was used to running from people trying to kill her in the woods, it seemed almost peaceful and untainted by man. In the distance, Clarke could see large mountain ranges and the vastness of a blue green ocean. Had they not needed to get back to Camp Jaha, Clarke would’ve asked to go there and taste whether seawater was indeed as salty as she had read it would be.

 _Later. Definitely later_.

For now, Clarke could just marvel at how unbelievably _huge_ the Ground was and how little of it she’d actually seen in her weeks on Earth. But all too soon Lexa’s wings slightly pulled back and they started picking up speed.

“Cover your eyes, _Alehan_.” Lexa whispered into her hair and Clarke instantly pressed her face into Lexa’s neck - careful not to kiss or nip at it lest the Heda start falling to the ground - while cool air rapidly whooshed passed them at the increased momentum.

It was a minute later and the Heda was standing in the middle of Camp Jaha, gently cradling Clarke in her arms. The Sky People all gawked in shock at their intimate position. Luckily, Kane was outside too and soon hurried over, awkwardly standing there until Clarke softly chuckled at herself and finally made a move to get out of Lexa’s arms.

* * *

 

Clarke watched in fascination the interaction between Lexa and Raven.

The Heda was seemingly asking all of the right questions as they traversed the clutter in the Engineering room. Raven was relaxed and answered Lexa’s questions in tech speak, as though she was talking to Wick. Clarke wasn’t sure why she was so surprised at all Lexa had learned in just one morning with them. That astonishment, however, didn’t really compare to seeing the easy rapport that had somehow developed between Raven and the vampire.

“How many have entered here since the damage had been done?” The Heda asked, eyes narrowing on the broken radio parts strewn over the workbench.

Whoever had vandalised the place had even destroyed all the formulas up on the glass boards that Clarke had no idea what they meant, but at least knew they had been important.

“Just us, Kane, and two other guards who came in to make sure no one was hiding in here.” Raven answered and ran an agitated hand threw her ponytail as she stared at the mess.

“Bring those guards to me.” Lexa instructed Kane, who looked unsure for a second – probably wondering as to why Lexa wanted to see them and whether they’d be safe – when he seemed to remember that _he_ wasn’t safe if he didn’t obey her and went to do as he’d been told.

“You have back-ups?” The Heda asked Raven.

Wick was just standing there, staring at Lexa with a mixture of awe and respect on his features. Lexa and Raven ignored him, so Clarke guessed that his gawking was nothing new.

“On the formulas? Yeah. And the last container of hydrazine was luckily locked up in the safe, otherwise we might’ve been blown up accidently by the idiot who did this. I can probably rebuild the radio, but I’ll need to salvage some vital parts from various equipment around the station to get it functioning again.”

In unison, both of them then turned to Clarke.

“Do whatever you need to do, Raven.” Clarke quickly answered after realising that they were looking at her for permission.

It was at that point that Kane returned with the two guards who instantly froze when Lexa zeroed in on them. The Heda didn’t speak, and instead just leaned closer and sniffed them. One guard actually let out a terrified squeak at her proximity and Clarke saw Raven fighting back a chuckle, and smirked too. The guards looked as though they were about to wet themselves until Lexa finally moved away and then traversed the room again, visibly scenting the air.

Everyone remained silent and unmoving while she did this, not wanting to unknowingly interrupt whatever process was going on, before the Heda determinedly stalked toward the exit. Kane and the guards hurriedly made way for her and then looked toward the other occupants in the room for a clue as to what to do now.

Clarke moved first and followed after Lexa, the rest following after Clarke down the hall, as though they were using the blonde as some sort of buffer in case the Heda turned around and was upset at being tailed.

Lexa seemed entirely focused on her task though and soon she was outside, stalking toward the fence and easily leapt over it, continuing her walk into the woods without so much as a glance back.

Clarke’s brows rose and then knitted and then she turned to her people expectantly staring at her for an explanation.

“I guess we’ll be waiting here.” She sheepishly grinned. “Kane, will you do a head count please, so we can see who’s missing?”

The man nodded and went off to do just that, realising that the Heda had gone off to track down the culprit.

“Why don’t we go over what you’ll need and what we’ll then have to go without while we wait for the Heda to come back.” Clarke directed at Raven, who nodded with one last look to where Lexa had disappeared and led Clarke back into the Ark station.

* * *

 

Clarke was busy helping Raven and Wick clean up – the latter now playfully bickering and flirting with Raven without Lexa around – when the door to the engineering room was flung open, and Murphy’s dirty and beaten body was thrown in through it.

The Heda - eyes dark and spine rigid - came stalking in after him.

Murphy turned onto his back, crawling backwards until he hit the wall and stayed there, wide terrified eyes fixed on Lexa.

“Klark.” The Heda summoned in a low growl, baring her fangs in clear agitation.

Clarke walked up to her, unafraid, and waited for instructions, while she too glared at Murphy. Kane had given her the list of missing persons earlier, so she wasn’t surprised to see him. She just wondered where Jaha and the others were, because it would’ve been very awkward for Lexa to carry all of them back.

“Most of the traitors were killed by explosives in the minefield they foolishly chose to enter.” Lexa impassively started. “Though I had slain their leader and three others following him, myself.” She answered Clarke’s unspoken question. “This one said that he has information.” She then sneered her distaste in Murphy’s direction before turning an obsidian gaze on Clarke. “I doubt he has anything of value to offer, but he is yours to deal with. He had been the only one not foolish enough to attack me.” Clarke nodded, realising that this was Lexa explaining why she’d killed Clarke’s people. That it had been provoked. “I trust that you will let your people know that such mutiny will not be tolerated.” Lexa sternly warned.

“ _Sha_ Heda.” Clarke answered. “We have also placed trusted guards to protect Raven and this room.”

Lexa sternly nodded and without a glance at anyone else, she made her exit. Clarke, Raven and Wick, then turned on Murphy who had instantly changed his posture from terrified cowering to arrogantly relaxed after the Heda had left.

“Look,” Murphy started with a sigh, “no one trusts me here. I’m an outsider and Jaha was talking about saving everyone and that the Grounders shouldn’t be trusted. You guys don’t know what they did to me. And you didn’t make me feel very welcome even after my pardon. So going with him seemed like my only choice at the time.”

Clarke had long since learned that Murphy was an opportunistic bastard. She hadn’t expected loyalty from him. But the guy wasn’t stupid. She wasn’t sure why he would follow Jaha out of the safety of the camp.

“Where were you going?” She asked.

“Jaha believed that his life had been spared to save his people.” Murphy snorted. “His plan was to find the City of Light and come back here a hero. He thought that everyone was going to die in this upcoming war and if not then, then definitely after you became less useful to the Grounders and they betrayed you. So he destroyed the radio in an attempt to break the alliance.”

Raven scoffed at that plan. “And what did he think the Grounders were gonna do to us when we didn’t deliver on our promise to take down the acid fog?”

Murphy chuckled bitterly. “He’d made sense in the beginning. Got a couple of us to believe him. But as we kept on walking and walking, with nothing but sand in every direction, it became pretty clear that he was out of his fucking mind. And it wasn’t like I could come back here after what he made us do…” Murphy nodded to the destroyed radio.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.” Clarke demanded.

The mutineers were dead, save for Murphy. All they could do now, was focus on getting the radio up and running again. She’d ask Lexa later about this ‘City of Light’. If it actually existed, the flying vampire would be sure to know about it.

“You’re not a murderer. And our people are close to becoming extinct. We need numbers.” Murphy smirked knowingly.

Clarke knew that he knew that she wouldn’t be able to just kill him in cold blood. Raven must’ve known this too, because before anyone knew what was happening, she’d picked up a metal pole and swung it straight across Murphy’s face, knocking him unconscious.

Payback for shooting her in the spine, Clarke supposed.

“You might’ve given him permanent brain damage.” She murmured, staring at Murphy’s chest shallowly rising and falling.

“Well at least I didn’t kill him.” Raven muttered and limped back to where she’d been cleaning up her work station.

Clarke looked at Wick who nodded that he would see to Raven, and started helping the brunette clean up. After resisting the urge to kick Murphy while he laid unconscious, Clarke instructed the guards to take him to the medbay and then lock up.

Clarke didn’t care how much she valued freedom, he’d betrayed them all way to frequently to ever set foot outside of his cell again.

* * *

 

After a quick shower, because encounters with Murphy had always made her feel dirty, Clarke went in search of Lexa that evening, well aware that she would only find the Heda if Lexa wanted to be found. Thankfully, the guards, upon seeing Clarke, instantly pointed to the vampire perched atop the station, staring at the moon like some freakishly gorgeous gargoyle. It didn’t take long for Lexa to sense Clarke looking at her and soon the vampire was gracefully swooping down and softly landed in front of the blonde.

“Are you ready to go back?” Lexa asked, then reverently looked up to the clear sky again. “It is a beautiful night for flying.”

Clarke was struck by the fact that Lexa hadn’t asked what she’d done with Murphy. It meant that when Lexa had told her that she would trust Clarke to see to her people, that she’d honestly meant it. And though Clarke really wanted to stare at Lexa in the moonlight while they glided back to Ton DC, she could think of far better ways to spend their night away from her mother and Bellamy’s possible – and potentially fatal - interruptions.

“I was thinking that maybe we could spend the night here, and fly back in the morning...” Clarke trailed off, intently looking at Lexa, hoping she would get it.

By the furrow of her brow, Lexa did _not_ get it. But the Heda agreed regardless, seemingly unaware of Clarke’s plans to get her alone in a room again. _So naive_ , Clarke smirked to herself while she led the unassuming vampire to her room to make out for hopefully hours and hours on end.

She’d noticed before that her bedroom door had been fixed – Raven had denied any involvement but Clarke just knew it had been her - and quickly flipped the mechanical lock behind her once they entered the room.

When Lexa turned around, her brows shot up and her wings drew back, seemingly startled at the look of unadulterated lust coming from the blonde. Clarke smirked devilishly, apparently Lexa was learning to read such situations, and then she launched herself at the vampire.

God, kissing Lexa was becoming better and more intense the more it happened. Clarke thought it could possibly be a good idea to try and _just_ kiss her in between these heavy make out sessions. Hopefully it would help Clarke learn some control over herself, because before she knew it, she’d lifted her hand and was eagerly palming a very nice vampire breast.

Lexa froze and Clarke was about to pull her hand away, when the Heda’s lightning fast reflexes kicked in and she covered Clarke’s hand with her own, keeping it in place.

Clarke slowly and uncertainly looked up into an obsidian stare.

“Are we going to have sex now?” Lexa breathlessly murmured. And was it not for the earnest crease in her brow, Clarke would’ve burst out laughing at the adorableness and frankness and complete _Lexa-ness_ of the query.

Instead, Clarke cleared her throat and tried to ignore her hand still trapped against Lexa’s lovely chest.

“I think we should just go with it, you know?” Clarke awkwardly started, wondering how much Lexa knew about sex, because she wouldn’t mind seeing Lexa naked again. But the Heda was inexperienced and Clarke didn’t want to take advantage of her by focusing on her own – burning – desires.

_It really wasn’t fair how hot Lexa was._

“We can just kiss… and touch…” Clarke swallowed thickly, her gaze going to her hand again, hyperaware of the subtle push of Lexa’s pebbled nipple against her palm. “If either one of us is uncomfortable or not ready at any point, we’ll just say ‘stop’ or ‘no’.” She gave the vampire a reassuring smile when Lexa’s brow furrowed in contemplation and Clarke just knew she was thinking of scenarios where either of them would possibly say ‘no’. “We’ll set our own pace and it will happen when it happens. Okay?”

Lexa absently nodded and eventually let go of Clarke’s hand. Belatedly, Clarke realized that she was still cupping Lexa’s breast and with considerable effort and resisting one final, longing squeeze, she dejectedly lowered her hand down.

Clarke had honestly just been looking forward to making out that night, not make Lexa feel pressured into having sex.

“A few years ago, I touched myself.” Lexa very candidly admitted and Clarke swallowed a strangled whimper and let out a strained cough as her brain was bombarded with _very_ vivid images. “I did not understand the fuss surrounding such an act.” Lexa explained, eyes green again as they stared openly at Clarke. “Perhaps I had done it incorrectly...” She nodded as though they were discussing a failed exercise routine. “I have read and heard that it would be much better with a partner.”

“Uhm…” Clarke felt the flush creeping up her neck as she tried to have this conversation with the same level of seriousness as Lexa was. “Yes, I suppose.” She shrugged noncommittally.

She’d been locked in _solitary_ confinement; masturbating had been one of the few highlights of Clarke’s incarceration. The only other perks Clarke could remember, had been drawing, reading and her view of Earth.

“Neither of us has a penis, Klark.” Lexa somberly sighed and Clarke almost burst out laughing right there was it not for Lexa’s stern face, dark brows still attractively knitted as her green eyes looked downward. The vampire contemplatively stared at her fingers then, lifting her hand up during the studious examination.

Clarke’s stomach quivered.

Apparently Lexa knew a lot more than Clarke gave her credit for.

Lexa then let out a frustrated growl, causing Clarke – whose thoughts at seeing those long fingers had gone off on a sexy tangent – to start back to reality and watch the Heda pacing in front of her. The vampire’s movements were sleek and graceful – _predatory_ – even through her obvious frustration.

“ _Gostos_ will not tell me _anything_!” Lexa sounded almost petulant in her annoyance. “He has had so many women, but when I ask him about sex, he fetches me a _book_!” Another snarl and Clarke couldn’t help but smile as she pictured the exchange between Gustus and Lexa.

Noting Clarke not seeing her point, Lexa continued:

“It is the _same_ book each time, Klark.” Lexa huffed. “Filled with heaving bosoms and throbbing members on pirate ships!” She incredulously exclaimed.

Clarke’s grin broadened, because she knew all about _those_ kind of books. Lexa had stopped paying attention to her though, still fervently pacing, so Clarke was able to let her amusement and endearment freely show on her face.

“Even when I try and speak to him about how strange you make me feel, he makes up an excuse to go and hunt.” Lexa let out a resigned puff of air and Clarke was about to give her a hug and kiss her again for being the cutest thing to have ever existed since the beginning of time, when Lexa’s words struck her.

“I make you feel strange?” She hesitantly asked.

Lexa hummed distractedly, probably still berating Gustus in her head for not preparing her better for sex.

Clarke stepped in front of Lexa, halting her pacing, and looked up until green eyes were focused on her again.

“How do I make you feel, Lexa?” She tentatively asked.

Lexa’s body seemed to still at Clarke’s tone and she stared back for a long moment, searching Clarke’s face as though she was contemplating whether to tell Clarke or not. It only made Clarke more nervous to hear the answer.

“At times, when you look at me…” Lexa softly started, eyes wide and unguarded. “It feels like a spear through my heart.” She emphasized by absently moving her hand to her chest as though she had actually felt a spear going through it before. “No...” Lexa shook her head then. “…It feels more like a hand around my heart, gently squeezing… making my entire chest ache… It feels mildly painful, yet still somehow pleasantly warm… and it spreads…” Her hand moved across her chest, unintentionally sensual like all Lexa’s actions seemed to be. But then she frowned, delicately moving the hand between the valley of her breasts and down the line of her stomach. “… Sometimes it feels like a warm, liquid, ache… dripping down and pooling in the depths of my belly…” Lexa whispered, swallowing thickly, her pupils blown wide as she stared at Clarke whose breaths grew laboured as she hung on every single word. “Other times, I look into your eyes and it feels as though I am leaping off the highest cliff; pulling my wings close to my body so that I will fall so fast that my eyes tear up. And all I can see is the ocean rushing towards me…” Lexa stared fixedly into Clarke’s eyes. “And I am falling into the deepest and bluest water I had ever seen in my life.”

And then Clarke flew at her, kissing Lexa with a hunger she never thought herself capable of. Because yeah, Clarke too had felt that spear through her heart when looking at the Heda. More often than not, it felt like a punch to the gut, knocking the breath right out of her, making Clarke’s stomach knot in anticipation.

Lexa didn’t hesitate as she kissed her back, growling softly at the back of her throat, before she backed them up until Clarke was pressed against the wall. It was a bruising, needy, kiss that only stopped when Lexa wrenched her mouth away from a breathless Clarke and instantly cupped the blonde’s breasts with both hands and eagerly squeezed. The vampire let out a satisfied growl while she stared at Clarke’s chest with a pitch black gaze and Clarke felt a jolt of white hot heat shooting straight to her core at Lexa’s eagerness to touch her.

But the vampire had clearly forgotten her own strength and Clarke winced when the Heda squeezed a little too hard. So she carefully covered both of Lexa’s hands with her own, not wanting to react too harshly and scare Lexa off.

“Gently…” Clarke husked, her voice thick with arousal and Lexa’s obsidian eyes snapped up to lock their stares.

The Heda then moved one of her hands along with Clarke’s, keeping the other resting in place, and cupped Clarke’s hand to her own breast.

“Show me, Klark.” Lexa rasped and Clarke instantly obeyed, moving forward to kiss her again.

She fervently fondled the Heda’s breast and delighted in the moan of pleasure from Lexa when Clarke scraped a nail over the soft leather of her vest and flicked a hardened nipple.

It was a few moments later, of Clarke getting lost in the feel of Lexa’s breasts, that the Heda finally made her move on Clarke’s. The blonde was still wearing a leather jacket, wanting to discard of it, but not wanting to break the addicting contact. All she had on underneath was a thin t-shirt and Lexa was such a fast learner as she almost expertly cupped Clarke’s breasts and played with her nipples.

Clarke was so uncomfortably wet already as she kissed her way into the Heda’s neck, only remembering how sensitive the vampire was there when Lexa let out that keening noise that hit Clarke right in her center and they simultaneously canted their hips forward.

Lexa fell against her, legs seeming to buckle and then the vampire slid all the way down onto her knees. Clarke panicked briefly until she realised that the Heda had lowered herself on purpose, strong hands firm on Clarke’s hips and face pressed into Clarke’s crotch.

“ _Ungh_ …” Clarke confusedly garbled while she watched with wide eyes as Lexa inhaled deeply and a loud purr erupted from her chest that Clarke could feel right through her pants. “Oh god…” Clarke panted, uncertain as to the mix of discomfort and excitement flipping around in her belly. Because on one hand, Lexa was smelling her crotch like it was a fine wine and Clarke was secretly elated that she’d taken a shower earlier, and on the other, Lexa’s face was nuzzling against her in the most sinfully torturous of ways. And Clarke couldn’t help but ask herself the same question that Lexa had before: Were they going to have sex now?

 _No_. Clarke chided herself. She wasn’t going to make the same mistake she had with Finn. This wonderful thing between her and Lexa shouldn’t be rushed. But the more she thought about it, the more she realised that Finn had just been a moment of weakness, a brief escape from a harsh reality. They’d both needed to feel something good while the world around them had progressively gone to shit.

But this thing right here? Clarke had been pursuing this thing. Cultivating it. Wanting it…

In a daze she reached down to cup Lexa’s cheeks, tilting the vampire’s head up and shuddered pleasantly at the dark, ravenous eyes staring back at her.

“Come here and kiss me, Lexa.” Clarke hoarsely commanded and the Heda rose steadily and fluidly from the floor, not faltering in her ascent until her lips pressed against Clarke’s again and their bodies were seamlessly melted together.

Clarke was lost for a few delicious moments, until the heat became too much and part of her focus went to contemplating how to get her jacket off without moving away from Lexa. It was in these moments that Clarke became more aware of the soft needy whimpers and desperate little growls that Lexa was making. The Heda’s hips mindlessly canted towards Clarke, searching for something more.

Clarke cupped Lexa’s warm cheeks again and slightly pulled away, staring at her beautifully flushed face.

“ _Klark_ …” It was a plea Clarke intimately understood and couldn’t refuse. Lexa was trembling in her arms. Trembling with a need Clarke could see her not quite fully understanding, yet wanting with her entire being.

Maybe there was something they could do, without them actually doing _it_ …

Clarke kissed Lexa again. Softer this time, slower, trying to tone back the urgency she herself had been caught up in only seconds ago. Lexa just let her, surrendering to Clarke’s lead, purring in pleasure as Clarke’s hands tenderly skimmed her sides, before settling on her hips.

Smoothly, Clarke shifted them both and slipped a thigh between Lexa’s legs, sighing out a shuddering breath when she felt the Heda’s own settling at her center.

Lexa’s response was a loud whimper, her hips jerking forward, clearly elated at having found that thing she was looking for. That little bit of extra friction to relieve the growing ache between her thighs. Clarke knew this, because she felt it too. God, did she ever feel it, as she wrapped an arm around Lexa’s lower back and pulled her in close. The Heda rocked her hips with abandon while she kissed Clarke and somehow still managed to have both hands caressing Clarke’s breasts.

_Fast learner._

It was difficult to stay focused. Clarke felt the same dizzying excitement she had on her sixteenth birthday and she and her girlfriend Mel had locked themselves in Clarke’s room and started nervously touching each other during both their first sexual encounter. Back then, the only worries Clarke Griffin had, was making Mel come and beating Wells at chess. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and the weight on Clarke’s shoulders now, was immeasurable. And yet here Lexa was, making her feel every bit as excited and free as Clarke had then. Actually even more so, as Clarke forgot all about the war they would soon be fighting in and focused her attention on the beautiful creature in her arms.

Clarke sighed in contentment when Lexa’s hands left her breasts and wrapped around her; that lithe, toned, body, molding itself against Clarke like a second skin. The Heda was growling breathlessly into Clarke’s neck - hot puffs of shiver-inducing air - while her hips languidly bucked against Clarke’s thigh.

Clarke opened her eyes as she tried to remove strands of Lexa’s voluminous hair from her face and watched as the Heda’s wings were pulled together toward the back and to the very tips, like a butterfly’s... The warning bells were dim at the back of her mind, until Clarke’s brain registered the soft lips at her neck being replaced by the scrape of two sharp fangs…

Clarke’s heart jolted and – somehow – managed to pound even harder in fright, even as she shook with arousal at the sensations Lexa’s mouth and body were creating. She contemplated shouting ‘stop’ and trying to push the vampire away, and ached as she wondered whether Lexa was too far gone. Clarke could feel the power in the arms tightly embracing her, she wouldn’t be able to fight the vampire off… Would Lexa stop? She would… Of course she would. The thoughts were enough to sober Clarke into thinking somewhat clearly.

She wrapped a hand behind the vampire’s neck, tangling her fingers into the soft hairs at her nape. Lexa growled lowly, opened her mouth wide and then sucked at Clarke’s pulse point. The blonde’s legs buckled, but after releasing a strangled whimper, Clarke brought up her other hand to gently cup Lexa’s jaw.

“Lexa…” She called and the Heda’s head slowly tilted up to look at her, fangs peeking out behind parted, panting, lips; eyes dark and hooded and completely focused on Clarke, even as Lexa’s hips kept on rhythmically rolling, sliding herself across Clarke’s thigh, mercilessly pushing her own into Clarke’s aching center, making it hard to think about anything else.

_Fucking fast learner._

Clarke kissed Lexa’s mouth with all the affection she felt in that moment, because _Lexa had stopped_. She was still Lexa, but those wings were still in that position that Clarke associated with biting, so she kissed her way down into the Heda’s neck, anticipating the shift from Lexa holding her and locked her arms so she now held Lexa, whose wings instantly dropped down at the action.

Clarke moved an eager hand and cupped a firm ass cheek, moaning when she felt another growl vibrating against her lips; right into her chest, and shooting straight down into her lower belly. Lexa submitted without a battle as Clarke assaulted the vampire’s neck and moved her other hand to pinch Lexa’s straining nipple.

“ _Klaaark_ …” Her name was groaned into the night and Clarke felt a surge of power and adoration as she squeezed Lexa’s ass and pushed against her with her thigh.

Another desperate whimper and Lexa was trembling even more, hands digging into blonde hair, hips frantically bucking into Clarke.

“Ooh…” Lexa shuddered, sounding lost and confused and Clarke’s head tilted up to see whether she was okay and instantly found Lexa’s lips on hers, kissing Clarke as though she was her last hope at oxygen. Clarke held her close as Lexa groaned into her mouth, moaning too when she felt her own orgasm building up.

She’d been holding back for Lexa’s sake, but really wasn’t able to any longer.

Clarke could feel Lexa responding to her moans and felt her last bit of resolve melting away. She pushed toward her own release, feeling the way Lexa’s body shuddered with each sound of pleasure that left Clarke’s lips. Clarke was so lost in Lexa’s mouth and the heat in her stomach coiling tighter and tighter, she didn’t see the wings pulling back up again as Lexa instinctually became the one pushing them both toward a climax.

All it took was Lexa squeezing her breast again and Clarke came with a silent cry, hips jerking for more; craving skin; craving fingers and Clarke clung to the vampire, her orgasm becoming more intense as her thoughts ran rampant about everything she wanted to do with Lexa.

Lexa came a lot more violently, as the Heda wrenched her head away from Clarke with a growl so guttural, Clarke was sure everyone heard it and was probably cowering underneath their bunks. It sent a vicious throb of arousal through Clarke though and she was close to coming all over again when Lexa snarled, unhinged her jaw and then sunk her teeth into the lapel of Clarke’s jacket.

Clarke’s heart stopped for a split second, finally noticing the position of those magnificent black wings. She looked down at the braided head as Lexa purred louder than Clarke had ever heard her before. Clarke fondly smiled and gently caressed those silky, chestnut curls, enjoying the way Lexa still languidly rocked against her. She said nothing about the fact that Lexa was biting down on her jacket, just utterly relieved that it wasn’t into her flesh.

They stayed like that for a long while, Lexa’s body still occasionally shuddering in pleasure while Clarke mindlessly caressed her hands over the vampire’s body, stuck in her own post-orgasmic bliss. Until finally, the Heda’s wings dropped back down and she slowly released her bite.

Ever so hesitantly, Lexa then looked up at Clarke with enormous green eyes, tainted with remorse and shame.

Clarke’s hands were on her face in an instant, a soothing thumb absently stroking over Lexa’s kiss swollen lips, trying to convey how she was not upset at what had happened. It had been Lexa’s first orgasm. She couldn’t have known what would happen. Hell, Clarke could sense it when Lexa had geared up to bite her that the Heda wasn’t aware of her actions. But she hadn’t. Lexa _hadn’t_ bitten her.

And Clarke beamed at her for it.

“God, you’re amazing.” Clarke whispered in awe, her heart aching with affection when she saw the timid smile at her words before she pressed their lips together again.

 

* * *

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

The Heda finally managed to pry herself away from Clarke still leaning against the wall of her room for support. Lexa’s eyes were dark and hooded and she was awkwardly shifting on the balls of her feet, attempting to discreetly adjust her tight leather pants.

“Are you pleased, Heda?” Clarke impishly grinned.

Lexa hummed out her affirmation in the form of a loud purr, eyelids slowly fluttering while she noticeably scented the air between them. A delighted shiver ran down Clarke’s spine, because the Heda looked as though she wanted nothing more than to jump Clarke for a second round. But then Lexa’s eyes shifted toward the two puncture marks on the lapel of Clarke’s jacket and her brows gently creased.

 _And no_. Clarke refused to let Lexa get stuck on that one little detail when everything else had just been so fucking perfect.

“Lexa…” Clarke murmured, voice still low with latent arousal, that spiked instantly higher when dark eyes shifted to stare at her face again.

Clarke contemplated just grabbing Lexa again, and though her blood was already pumping way down south at just the thought, they probably needed to get some sleep. There was a battle to be preparing for after all. And some vampire cuddles will surely serve to reassure Lexa that everything was still very much fine between.

Clarke then purposely glanced toward her tiny cot, the Heda following her gaze.

“It is too small.” Lexa murmured disheartened. “I will not fit.”

Clarke’s heart sunk too. “We could still fly back?” She hopefully offered, very keen on sinking into the Heda’s nest of furs and snuggling into those strong arms and comfy wings.

“I will go...” Lexa trailed off and uncomfortably pulled at her pants again, a blush tinting her cheeks pink. “... Clean up, and sleep in _Tondisi_. Tomorrow morning, I will return to fetch you.”

Clarke opened her mouth to protest that she would come too, but Lexa stepped forward and silenced her with a searing kiss.

The Heda was already way too good at kissing. And other _stuff,_ because in that moment Clarke forgot entirely about talking to Lexa about the bite and that pensive stare the Heda had on her face a moment ago.

“Rest well, _Alehan_.” Lexa softly smiled and Clarke just nodded and goofily grinned and her eyes briefly fluttered closed when another tender kiss was placed in between her brows.

“You too, Lexa.” Clarke murmured after her, smirking smugly at the slightly awkward gait caused by the presumed flood of wetness between the Heda’s thighs.

* * *

 

“Do you have everything you need?” Clarke asked Raven early the following morning, watching the girl bent over her workbench.

“Yeah.” Raven distractedly murmured, intently focused on a small circuit board in front of her.

“Do you know how long until the radio’s up again?”

“Two – Three days.” Raven sighed and placed down her tiny tools to rub at her eyes. “The parts need to be modified and I don’t have the proper soldering equipment to work on the boards... And I can’t mess up because we don’t have spares, so if you want it done properly it’s going to take time.” She couldn’t or didn’t hide her irritation at the questioning.

Clarke held up her hands in supplication and smiled disarmingly at the tense brunette.

“Just wanted to know what to tell Bellamy. You know he’s not going to want to wait any longer.”’

Raven relaxed after realising that Clarke wasn’t there to push her and breathe down her neck while she worked. Clarke would’ve stayed longer at Camp Jaha, but she still needed to attend another clan meeting to discuss what to do regarding the Reapers up at Mount Weather and to divide the army into different clusters for the attack. They needed to identify enough competent archers from each clan to attempt to counter the bullets that would most certainly be raining down on them.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Clarke asked, noticing the bags under Raven’s eyes.

“Did _you_?” Raven fired back, her eyes knowing yet mirthful and Clarke instantly knew that everyone must be aware of what she and Lexa had gotten up to. The vampire hadn’t exactly been quiet – Clarke’s tummy clenched pleasantly in remembrance – and the giant hickey in her neck probably only confirmed their suspicions.

“Afterward, I slept like a baby, actually.” Clarke lifted her chin and smirked back, daring Raven to say something about Lexa.

“Good.”

“Good?” Clarke confusedly wondered, completely taken aback, not having expected the unlikely source of support.

“Yes.” Was all Raven offered though.

“Hmmm.” Clarke pondered, and then decided to rather let it go. She’s always secretly wanted to be friends with Raven and wasn’t going to push her luck when it finally seemed to be happening for whatever inexplicable reason. “Have you eaten?” She went back to her original mission.

“Later.”

“Go now.”

Raven glared at her and Clarke just smiled back.

“Fine.” Raven conceded with an irritated huff.

“Great. I’ll check in again tomorrow.” Clarke grinned, and made her way toward the exit.

“Have you joined the mile-high club on Air Heda, yet?” Raven casually threw over her shoulder.

“No, but the pilot does let me flip the switches on her instrument panel.” Clarke replied without missing a beat.

Raven snorted out a laugh.

“Definitely no cocks in that pit!” She called after Clarke who laughed all the way down the hall.

* * *

 

Flying back to Ton DC had almost resulted in a crash when Clarke couldn’t quite stop her wandering thoughts – she blamed Raven for planting them - forgetting about the beautiful view below to focus on the beautiful vampire instead. When Clarke became mesmerized by the way the wind gently blew the Heda’s chestnut curls around her face, she had mindlessly kissed Lexa, pushing her tongue into the vampire’s mouth, and then flicked it across the back of a sharp fang, which sent them instantly careening toward the ground.

Thankfully, Lexa hadn’t let go of her and soon gathered herself enough to bring them level again and lowly growled her reprimand at Clarke. The blonde just bit her lip, ducked her head and focused on calming her racing heart and clenching stomach, till they were safe on the ground in Ton DC again.

* * *

 

She sat down at a small makeshift table outside of Gustus’s tent a few yards from Lexa’s. On the table was a chess set, because apparently both Gustus and Lexa loved the game. In the background, classical music softly played from a vintage record player. _A gift from Lexa_ , Gustus had proudly announced and then patiently allowed Lexa to explain to Clarke what had felt like the entire history of music. The vampire veered off into topics like kinetics and piezoelectricity - and no wonder Raven approved of the Heda –, before Gustus had eventually brought the charming nerd ramblings to a halt by telling Clarke he needed to speak to Lexa in private.

Clarke nodded and went to take a seat at the chess board and pretended not to watch the soft exchange happening a few yards away. Lexa seemed upset; Gustus reassuring, and Clarke just knew they were discussing Lexa biting Clarke’s jacket the evening before. When Lexa had arrived at Camp Jaha that morning, Clarke could see it still bothering the vampire, dark eyes having shifted to the lapel of Clarke’s other jacket. The one she’d purposely changed into. But there hadn’t been time for her and Lexa to discuss what had happened. And hopefully Gustus would remind Lexa that she in fact _didn’t_ bite Clarke, no matter how lost in the moment she might’ve been.

Finally, Gustus managed to coax a timid smile out of Lexa, her cheeks turning pink as she shyly ducked her head and pressed her shoulder against his chest, affectionately rubbing up against him. Clarke smiled happily and then turned to look the opposite direction when the two friends made their way back to her and accepted Gustus’s loud challenge at a chess match, taking the subtle hint to not draw attention to Lexa just yet.

Clarke was looking forward to playing again, missing Wells even more at seeing the bond between Lexa and Gustus, but first they needed to talk about the Reapers. Lexa had suggested not involving the other clans at the moment and the discussion was taking place while Gustus and the Heda were sparring with their swords, since, according to Gustus, Lexa had been slacking on her training.

“They’re still people, right?” Clarke wondered out loud. “We can’t just kill them…” She intently watched the powerful battle, having eventually grown used to the loud clanking of metal on metal, clearly driven by superhuman strength from both Grounders.

“They are.” Lexa agreed, smoothly ducking underneath a vicious swing and having her own strike blocked seemingly a split second later. “But I assure you, their minds will not be the same, _Alehan_.” She confidently stated.

“How can you know that for sure? Maybe they can be rehabilitated? The Mountain Men must be doing something to them… If we can just _un_ do it…”

“We have healed what ails them.” Gustus grunted under Lexa’s vicious strikes, but managed to block them regardless.

“You have?” Clarke distractedly wondered as she watched the Heda move. Wings tucked closely to her body as she pranced lightly on her feet, like a nimble, ninja ballerina. The blonde almost burst out laughing at the thought, already planning to draw a cartoon Lexa, dressed as a winged ninja, wearing a tiny tutu.

“Yes.” Lexa answered, fixedly focused on backing Gustus up with a rapid assault of strikes.

“How?” Clarke flat out asked.

“It does not matter how.” Lexa snarled as she blocked another massive blow from Gustus that sent sparks flying from their blades. “We healed what ailed them, but their minds were not the same any longer.”

“They had done too much to live with.” Gustus added, sweat dripping down his forehead, while Lexa still looked fresh as a daisy. “Some lost their minds and became a danger to their people, others just killed themselves because they could not live with the guilt.”

Clarke fell silent after that. She’d seen a few Reapers. Most grotesquely deformed. They’d resorted to cannibalism, eating the deceased Grounders after they’d been bled dry and disposed of by the Mountain Men… Of course it would be difficult to rehabilitate them. But still, would it be fair to just assume that all of them couldn’t be saved? And if yes, would it be right to just cull them like they weren’t human before? Perhaps Lexa was right, in that they should wait to discuss this. Getting into Mount Weather took first priority for now. If any Reapers attacked them during the assault, then they would be dealt with accordingly…

Before Clarke could think on it further, she was distracted by Lexa amping up her attack. The Heda’s arm muscles twitched with each powerful strike, her chest rumbling in low warning growls as she slowly increased her speed and strength. It was impressive to watch and Clarke felt an involuntary jolt of arousal when Lexa loudly snarled as she effortlessly blocked another harsh blow and swiftly countered it.

It was a second later that the soft breeze carried Clarke’s scent toward the vampire and Lexa’s head instantly snapped in her direction. Her eyes grew dark and ravenous, pinning Clarke to the spot. And in that same moment, Gustus’s sword came flying toward the distracted vampire’s neck, who lifted her arm at the very last second to stop the strike from decapitating her and promptly found the limb severed at the elbow.

Clarke screamed.

She jumped up from her seat, running forward, but stopped in her tracks when Gustus lifted his hand in command for her to halt. Clarke wasn’t sure why she obeyed, and her worried eyes looked to Lexa, hand on her bicep spewing out blood, body crouched low, eyes murderously gleaming while she snarled at Gustus.

The man seemed unfazed though as he bent down and picked up Lexa’s severed arm. At that, the vampire hissed and bared her fangs at him, looking almost feral. Gustus responded by taking the severed limb at the elbow and then swiftly slapped Lexa across the face with her own hand.

“This is why you need to _focus_ during battle.” He scolded, ignoring the way Lexa’s wings lifted into the air and she viciously snapped her jaws at him in warning.

Her chest was rumbling so loudly and threateningly, that Clarke felt like running away even though the intent wasn’t even being directed at her. But she stood rooted to the spot, worry keeping her there, and stared in shock at the blood having already stopped flowing from Lexa’s wound.

“Let me see.” Gustus softly murmured, to which Lexa only stood taller and growled louder. “ _Leksa_ …” He warned in a sterner voice and the rumbling summarily stopped. “ _Beja, Sistris. Kom op hir_.” He gently added and the wings instantly dropped down.

Clarke barely heard what Gustus said as she kept her eyes trained on Lexa, fighting down the urge to move closer to try and help.

Lexa ducked her head, her shoulders slumped and she slowly moved forward. Gustus then proceeded to tentatively take hold of her injured arm, softly whispering reassurances that Clarke couldn’t hear but knew was in Trigedasleng anyway. She then watched in fascination as Gustus held the severed arm in place, ripping off a piece of his shirt with one hand and then wrapped Lexa’s arm at the elbow. He whispered something again, gesturing to his own forearm, which made Lexa suddenly look up at Clarke with those obsidian eyes. But before Clarke could even think to wipe the worry off of her face and replace it with a reassuring smile, Lexa was looking to where Gustus was still holding her bandaged arm and whispered something back while she shook her head no.

They stood there for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, before Gustus swiftly moved and then seemed to break Lexa’s arm all over again. Lexa hissed and then growled at the ground, but instead of slapping her again, Gustus just pulled her against his chest and tenderly caressed her hair, until Lexa relaxed into the embrace and started softly purring...

Clarke finally released a relieved breath.

The two moved away from each other and Gustus removed the bandage. Clarke was unable to stop her surprised gasp when she saw only a ring of jagged pink flesh where Lexa’s arm had healed. She realised then that Gustus must’ve broken the bone so that it would regrow properly. He continued whispering to Lexa as he examined her arm, asking her to flex and move the limb, and her fingers. Once he deemed the healing satisfactory, Gustus placed a tender kiss on Lexa’s forehead and moved away.

He gave a stern nod to Clarke as he passed her and the stunned blonde took that as permission to go to the vampire.

“Are you okay?” Clarke warily approached, because Lexa’s eyes were still very dark. She sent a brief glance over her shoulder to where Gustus had seated himself at the chess board.

“ _Sha_ , Klark.” Lexa smiled. “Just a scratch.” She grinned and Clarke chuckled, stepping forward and slowly reached out to gently touch the injured arm.

“Does it hurt?” She whispered, lightly tracing her fingers over the fading pink line.

“No.” Lexa murmured.

“Did it hurt when it was severed?”

“Yes…” Lexa breathed and shivered slightly when Clarke’s fingers continued their languid trail. “You are very distracting, _Alehan_.”

Clarke felt the need to apologise, and probably would’ve if Lexa didn’t kiss her the very instant she opened her mouth to do so. Not having realised just how utterly relieved she was that the vampire was okay, Clarke kissed back, moaning when Lexa drew Clarke’s tongue into her mouth and pulled her in close.

It was the distant sound of a throat purposely clearing that had Lexa moving away and resting her forehead against Clarke’s.

“I need to wash this blood from my body…” Lexa lamented, and Clarke knew that she was about to leave.

Lexa enjoyed bathing at the waterfall and just sitting there for hours when she was this side of the world. Clarke wanted to go with her, maybe wash Lexa’s back, or just watch the Heda washing herself… Maybe sketch a million more images of her newfound muse. But Lexa’s arm was still healing and she wouldn’t be able to – well, Clarke wouldn’t let her – carry the extra weight.

So she softly kissed the vampire again.

“Hurry back.” Clarke smiled against Lexa’s mouth.

The Heda hummed, wrapped a hand at the back of Clarke’s neck and pulled her closer, kissing Clarke long and deep. Too soon, Lexa seemed to forcibly remove herself from Clarke’s person and with a downright dirty smirk, – most probably at Clarke’s obvious scent - took off into the sky, arm carefully cradled at her waist.

* * *

 

“I don’t understand why she feels the need to distance herself from her people.” Clarke mumbled as she stared at her few white chess pieces still left on the board.

Gustus had been slowly and mercilessly annihilating her for the last five consecutive games. He could’ve placed Clarke in checkmate ages ago, but seemed intent on wiping the board clean. Clarke figured it was probably some passive aggressive, overprotective, intimidation tactic to remind her not to hurt Lexa. _Or else_ …

“They already respect her so much and if they just got to know her… They’d definitely love her and she wouldn’t feel the need to constantly separate herself from them. It’s almost like she’s afraid of them or something.”

“She is.” Gustus quietly agreed.

Clarke quickly looked up at him, not having expected an actual answer. It wasn’t the first time she’d broached this particular topic.

“What do you mean? She doesn’t need to fear anyone.”

“They have hurt her before…” Gustus sat back in his chair, wise eyes studying Clarke. “She is a great warrior, so yes, they do not pose a physical threat.”

Clarke’s brow furrowed.

“What did they do to her?” She felt anger bubbling up in her chest without even knowing what had happened.

“The others, the ones similar to her, after they’d been defeated, _Leksa_ thought that the people would finally accept her. Like all of us, she had been born from a woman. She did not ask to be what she is. They did not understand this. They used her want for acceptance to manipulate her. They took and took, and she gave them all that she could, sometimes even more than that. And still, they viewed her as an outsider… Still they demanded more… It went on for many years until she broke; until she decided that her love for her people was a weakness. She became hard, to protect herself. She gave only on her own terms. And though she still protects them, she will not let them close again.”

Clarke’s chest ached with sorrow and anger. Gustus was so vague on what had actually happened but Clarke knew it was because he wanted Lexa to tell Clarke herself.

“She never abandoned them, even when they’d clearly abandoned her…” Clarke whispered to herself more than anything, but Gustus nodded nonetheless.

“They are her people, even when they do not see her as one of theirs. To them, she will always be Heda.” His eyes grew softer then and he smiled at Clarke. “At least she can be _Leksa_ to us.”

Clarke’s face nearly split in half as she grinned at being included in that.

* * *

 

The tents were a few yards away from the path which lead down to a nearby river. Clarke found this out when the third group of laundry carrying women passed by and unabashedly stared at Gustus, giggling and pointing. Apparently when Lexa had said that Gustus ‘has had many women’, she hadn’t been exaggerating. Dude was a chick magnet.

Gustus, of course, ignored them. Clarke had seen him eyeing Byrne on occasion, even her mother – though Clarke chose to ignore this. He’d have a quick, surreptitious look, when some of the Trikru women weren’t putting on an act for him, but he never did anything about it. Clarke gathered that he was taking this upcoming battle a lot more seriously than she and Lexa was. Or rather than Clarke was, since she was sure that Lexa was excellent at multi-tasking. Clarke sometimes forgot about the war entirely when Lexa was near.

She was about to suggest they go back to the village, maybe so Gustus could socialise more freely without worrying about Clarke’s safety, when she saw Bellamy coming up the path… Her friend took one look at her, visibly scoffed and stomped off into the forest.

Clarke sighed and rose from her game.

“I need to speak to him, Gustus.” She explained.

By then, the entire world was aware of Bellamy’s troubles and the cause of them. He wasn’t exactly hiding his feelings.

“You need not do a thing.” Gustus grumbled.

“He’s not handling this thing between Lexa and I very well. He’s my friend, I owe him an explanation.”

“Why?”

“Uh…” Clarke struggled for an answer, frowning.

“He wants you, you do not want him. He should move on; find another woman.”

“It’s not that easy…” Clarke sighed, sitting back down. “Have you ever had feelings for someone? I didn’t realise he had feelings for me and I should’ve just told him no right from the start. But I kept on avoiding it, because I didn’t want to hurt him and I definitely didn’t want to lose him as a friend.”

Gustus face looked sad and Clarke wondered what she’d said wrong now.

“I had a woman once.” Gustus whispered and Clarke tensed at his tone. “I loved her… and the son she had given me.” He swallowed thickly and looked up at Clarke with a melancholy smile. “They both loved _Leksa_ and she loved them.”

Clarke’s heart started beating in her throat, anticipating all the horrible things that could’ve happened to them. Because not only weren’t they there and hadn’t been mentioned before, but Gustus’s eyes…

“ _Leksa_ had been flying across the world, finally free of her burdens once she was certain I was taken care of.” Another wry smile. “She visited frequently though and brought us gifts from her travels. She was happier than I had ever seen her; happy that I was happy; that our family had grown... But then the clan wars started... The people savagely searched for more land and power than they would ever need…” Gustus grew silent, his chest heavily rising and falling. Clarke just wanted him to stop talking, she didn’t want to know what she could already see written all over his face.

“I hadn’t been there when they came... I had been making wood for the coming winter… And I lost my _houmon_ and my _skat_ …” He clenched his jaw, eyes glittering with emotion. “I know what it feels like to belong to someone and have them be yours in return…” Gustus confessed, pulling himself together with a sniff and quick clearing of his throat. “The Foolish Boy never had you to lose, _Strik Alehan_. He will be fine _._ If he’s not, he was never worthy of your friendship to begin with.”

Clarke nodded. Wanting to say sorry for Gustus’s loss, but really how vapid wouldn’t that seem: A meagre ‘sorry’. No wonder Lexa and Gustus chose to just stick with each other. They kept on getting hurt. How was Clarke supposed to respond? What was she supposed to say?

“Well, he’s seriously pissing Lexa off, and I don’t want her to kill him, so I need to go set him straight for the sake of this alliance.” Clarke chose to go with a little bit of levity as she smirked at the big man opposite her.

Gustus chuckled and Clarke knew she’d chosen correctly and then he stood from his seat to go with her.

_Obviously._

“I have to do this alone, Gustus. He’s not going to listen with you there. And he won’t hurt me. That much I can promise you.” Clarke tried to reassure.

Gustus looked dubious.

“I’ve got my gun with me.” Clarke patted the sidearm. “Just a few minutes and I’ll be back and I’ll beat you this time.” She smirked.

Gustus just huffed and sat back down, moving the chess pieces back into place.

Clarke took it as a victory and hurried in the direction that Bellamy had gone.

* * *

 

“Bell, wait up!” Clarke had to call out, barely able to stop the irritation from creeping into her voice when Bellamy hadn’t stopped the first two times she’d called to him and instead just proceeded to go deeper into the woods.

Finally though, probably sensing her frustration, or perhaps not wanting to wander too far from Ton DC, Bellamy stopped and sat down on a rock and waited for Clarke to catch up. Which she did a few moments later, and then just stood there, not sure as to what to say.

“I thought we were a team, Clarke.” Bellamy sneered after the stifling silence went on for way too long. “Turns out you’re playing for a different team now.”

“We’re still on the same team, Bell.” Clarke sighed, ignoring the jibe. “I’m loyal to my people. My relationship with the Heda doesn’t interfere with that.”

She was met with silence, and then:

“I liked you from the start, you know.” Bell wistfully groaned. “Even when you annoyed me… You believed in me when no one else did and you helped me get on the right path… I realised too late what you meant to me, ‘cause by then Finn had already moved in. So I took a step back. And when Finn was gone and you didn’t seem as affected as I thought you’d be…” He trailed off and seemed to reconsider his words. “Obviously I know you cared about him, but it hadn’t been as serious as I thought it was and I wanted to kick myself for not saying something sooner. So I tried to do that after finding you again, after you escaped from Mount Weather. But the timing never seemed right, and then suddenly you’re hugging vampires in your room…” He bitterly chuckled before looking Clarke dead in the eye. “Did I ever even stand a chance?”

Clarke’s heart clenched at the look in his eyes, not having expected the frank question.

“I don’t want to lose your friendship.” Clarke apologetically rasped. “I can’t lose it. You mean so much to me. But I don’t feel that way about you... I love you like a brother, Bell.”

Bellamy’s entire posture slumped, and he solemnly nodded to himself before getting up.

“Okay…” He muttered, looking everywhere except at Clarke. “At this point in time, I can’t say the same. And I can’t be your friend right now, because I still think that the Heda is dangerous and shouldn’t be trusted. So I’m just going to focus on getting our friends out of Mount Weather and we’ll see how things go after that.” He grimaced though Clarke assumed he’d been attempting a smile, and then started walking back to the village.

Clarke remained standing there for a while longer, not sure whether she’d just lost yet another person she cared about.

She was torn between feeling sad at Bellamy’s obvious hurt and angry at him for being the one to have actually caused the situation between them. After all, when Raven landed on the Ground and kissed Finn, Clarke didn’t allow her feelings to interfere with the mission. She backed off and focused on what needed to be done. Maybe Gustus was right. If Bellamy couldn’t be her friend after this, he didn’t deserve her friendship.

Bending slightly to scratch at an itch on her leg, Clarke narrowly missed the arrow whizzing over her head and lodging itself into the tree trunk at her side. Sparing a wide-eyed and fleeting glance at the projectile, Clarke instantly and instinctively took off into the woods, seeking cover.

* * *

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

 

Clarke pressed her back up against a massive tree, her breathing loud and laboured, sounding almost deafening in the suddenly silent woods. She’d just randomly taken off at a sprint, not really paying much attention to where she was going. Two more arrows had whizzed past her, but it’d been an intense few moments with nothing but silence since.

Scanning the forest in front of her with its uneven ground and sloping little hills, Clarke wasn’t sure which direction she’d come from anymore, or where her assailant currently was. Everything looked the same! Green and brown and more fucking green and brown!

“Have I done something to offend you?!” Clarke called out, crouching down low. Knowing that she might’ve given away her location, but hoping that her attacker would answer and give away theirs.

“You burned my brother in a ring of fire!”

 _Quint_.

After spending two consecutive days trapped in the war tent with him, Clarke recognized the animosity instantly. Honestly, she wasn’t surprised that he wanted to kill her, just that he would dare go against the Heda’s wishes. Well, the Heda wasn’t there, was she? And the forest was large enough to easily get rid of Clarke’s body.

Clarke bit her lip, hoping that Lexa would be back from the waterfall soon. It’d been over four hours since Lexa had left, and Clarke really didn’t want the vampire to arrive only to sniff out her dead body.

“Well he shouldn’t have attacked my ship!” Clarke angrily yelled back, and pulled her gun.

He was behind her somewhere, and Clarke still had the cover of the tree, judging by the position of the arrow which had struck it a split second after she had first shouted to him.

She waited, breathing heavily, trying to stop the rush of blood in her ears from impairing her hearing. But the giant Grounder had gone deadly quiet, and Clarke realised that compromising her position had been a possibly fatal mistake. She’d of course learned Quint’s in the process and had hoped that angering the volatile man with her statement would cause him to slip up and reveal himself, but now Quint had seemingly disappeared into thin air.

Like a gigantic fucking chameleon. 

Slowly, Clarke made her way around the tree, shoulder grazing against the bark, gun held in both hands while she scanned every piece of new forest she found. Her heart pounded furiously in her chest, pulsing in her hands, causing her palms to sweat and loosen the grip on her gun.

It was as Clarke tried to wipe her damp hands on her pants that Quint jumped her, viciously tackling her to the ground. Her gun slipped and she stared up at him with wide eyes.

“For my brother!” Quint snarled, lifted his dagger and instantly found that same hand impaled by a very familiar knife.

Both Clarke and Quint looked in the direction the projectile had been launched from, finding a scowling Gustus glaring in their direction, seemingly overshadowed by a seething Heda, wings lifted high up into the air and eyes sparkling obsidian.

Quint instantly backed away from Clarke, but remained on his knees as he looked to his Heda menacingly stalking toward him; a loud predatory purr ominously echoing through the forest.

“Forgive me, Heda…” Quint solemnly whispered and closed his eyes, resigning himself to his fate. “ _Ai gonplei ste odon.”_

 _His fight was over?_ He didn’t even fight, he just gave up. Clarke was angry at him for some reason, and realised it was because she knew what was going to happen next as her eyes tracked the stalking predator closing in on Quint; long, toned, limbs poised and ready for attack.

Clarke lifted herself up against the tree, and froze when Lexa’s wings pulled back and to the very tips. Sleek and shining black, yet still such a stunning sight, even through the utter terror the image evoked. When the vampire reached Quint, Lexa didn’t hesitate as she grabbed his jaw, and with a quick twist of her wrist, snapped his neck to the side.

The sound of bone cracking caused Clarke to cringe and she wanted to look away, but instead she was caught watching as Lexa effortlessly lifted Quint a few feet higher before viciously biting into his neck.

Lexa ferociously snarled as blood sprayed out of Quint’s carotid and covered both him and the vampire in red splatters. Quint didn’t make a sound though and Clarke remembered that he was of course _dead_ from that effortless snap of his neck.

Everything seemed so surreal and was happening so fast that Clarke found it difficult to process that she’d almost just died and that she was now safe, that her attacker was dead, because her heart just kept on furiously pumping adrenaline through her body, as she stared at the bloody scene playing out in front of her.

The Heda released Quint from her grip after just a few moments, that predatory purr still thundering in her chest, wings still rigidly pulled back while she stared at Quint’s lifeless body splayed on the ground at her feet. Slowly though, the vampire’s head turned and her obsidian gaze focused in on Clarke. The blonde’s heart gave a painful and frightened _thump_ at the image of the bloodied Heda, whose eyes were murderously gleaming right at her.

Clarke’s breath hitched almost inaudibly, but at the quiet sound, the Heda’s wings immediately dropped down and her gaze softened. Lexa tentatively sniffed in Clarke’s direction, letting out a soft whimper, before she hesitantly started closing the distance between them.

Clarke pressed herself further against the tree, the rough bark digging into her back, her heart still furiously hammering at the prowling predator closing in on her…

The closer Lexa got, the more distraught her whimpers became, until the vampire was only inches away from Clarke’s body, where she then tentatively rested her forehead into Clarke’s neck.

Clarke remained stiff and uncertain, that loud ominous purr still resonated from Lexa’s chest, even as another soft whine left the vampire throat. Clarke noticed only then that Lexa’s forehead was the only part of her that was actually touching Clarke, as though Lexa was fighting with herself to stay back, but was seemingly unable to do so.

Clarke chanced a glance at Gustus, who stood next to Quint’s body, arms crossed over his chest and dangerously glaring at Clarke. The blonde’s brows furrowed, wondering why he was mad at her. Was it because she’d insisted on going off on her own? He could hardly be blaming Clarke for Quint’s insanity.

But then Gustus’s gaze pointedly shifted toward Lexa, nodding in the vampire’s direction. Clarke was about to mouth ‘what?’ when Lexa spoke into her chest, instantly gaining all of her attention.

“ _Chon yu kei_?” Lexa’s voice softly rasped, sounding pained, which only added to Clarke’s confusion as to what was wrong with the vampire, until her reeling mind registered that Lexa had asked whether she was alright.

And yeah, maybe Clarke was a bit slow, it’d been a fucking intense few minutes, but she finally realised that _she_ was the cause of Lexa’s continued distress, even after Quint was dead and the threat long gone. Clarke swiftly wrapped her arms around the distraught vampire and pulled Lexa closer, her own body finally relaxing at the strong muscles she felt flexing at Lexa’s back and the familiar warmth and scent that enveloped and subconsciously soothed her.

“I’m okay.” Clarke breathed out, as much to herself as Lexa, while her heart finally started to calm and could feel the taut muscles in her embrace, relaxing in response.

Clarke had noticed before how unbelievably _aware_ Lexa was of her physical reactions. Clarke’s mind had of course realised that the threat was long over, but her body remained tensed and ready for flight. Lexa nuzzled closer and started softly purring against Clarke, the sound now familiar and content; the tenor and velocity Clarke preferred and which could so easily lull her into a cuddle coma.  

Caringly, Clarke stroked the vampire’s hair, still unbraided and slightly damp from her bath at the waterfall. Looking up, her eyes met Gustus’s across Lexa’s shoulder. Gustus firmly nodded, looking as pleased as the usually stoic man could, and then he went to rip Lexa’s knife from Quint’s hand. With a low grunt, Gustus lifted him up and flung the body over his shoulder, carrying Quint off into the woods without so much as a word to either of them.

Clarke smiled to herself, feeling rather chuffed that she was being trusted to take care of Lexa. Who as if sensing Gustus’s departure, took a step back from Clarke. The anger and that predatory gleam seemed to have left the Heda entirely, but her eyes were still dark, as they meticulously scanned Clarke’s body.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up.” Clarke murmured, and winced when Lexa stiffened, hand going up to touch the drying blood covering her face and torso.

The vampire averted her gaze and took another step back, but Clarke just reached out and took hold of Lexa’s hand, halting the retreat instantly.

Both of them said nothing as Clarke threaded her fingers in between Lexa’s and with only a gentle tug, led the compliant vampire out of the forest. Clarke followed the sound of the river, mostly to try and figure out where the hell she was, and was delighted when she came across a familiar looking path. She guided Lexa around the back of it though, through the underbrush, not wanting anyone to see their Heda looking so unlike herself.

Lexa appeared mildly in shock, her wings drooped and hung limply down her back creating an air of melancholy. That worried Clarke more than anything, because clearly everything was fine now, right?

She was alive and Quint was dead… Unless something else had happened _before_ Lexa had come to rescue her?

The Heda was silent though, but followed obediently after Clarke, gently holding onto her hand, and only let go once they reached the outside of the Dark Tent.

Clarke followed uncertainly after Lexa then, going to lean against the middle tent post while Lexa made a beeline for her basin. The vampire picked up the jug, poured herself a cup of water and then rinsed her mouth. She then opened a small wooden box, reaching in to take out a few green leaves that she started absently chewing. Clarke’s mouth opened to ask what they were, but her jaws clenched shut when Lexa abruptly ripped her bloodied vest right from her body and carelessly threw it to the side.

_Well, fuck..._

Clarke stood stunned as the topless Heda started washing her face and torso; luscious waves of chestnut hair cascading over her back and shoulders. Lexa continued to methodically chew on her leaves, dried herself with a cloth, picked up her water and rinsed her mouth again.

Letting out a long sigh, the vampire then placed her hands on either side of the basin, leaning slightly forward and Clarke’s eyes eagerly danced over the muscles at Lexa’s back which rippled and flexed at the light pressure.

“Lexa?” Clarke confusedly wondered, slowly taking a step forward, her caution not out of fear, but concern that the vampire might run off. “Are you okay?”

“I think it would be best that we not continue our… _dalliance_ , Klark.” Lexa murmured to the basin and Clarke’s heart stopped and painfully clenched at hearing the words.

“What?” She numbly asked, not sure what was going on but hoping there was some huge misunderstanding. Clarke couldn’t even bring herself to make fun of Lexa for using the word ‘dalliance’. How many times had Lexa read that ‘romantic’ pirate novel Gustus kept on giving her?

Lexa finally turned around, and really _, did she have to be half naked right now?_

“I am a monster.” Lexa impassively stated, while intense green eyes pierced down into Clarke’s. “An abomination.”

It struck Clarke in that moment how much Lexa had lowered her walls since they’d first met. Because at once Lexa was the Heda again, stoic and aloof, and just _fuck that_. Clarke _refused_ to become just another one of the masses Lexa avoided getting close to.

“No you’re not.” Clarke earnestly protested the vampire’s claim.

Lexa took two swift steps forward, invading Clarke’s space, not like the way she usually would, but in a manner that was somehow more intimidating and slightly condescending.

“Since the moment I first saw you, Klark… _Scented_ you…” Lexa softly started, staring down at Clarke through her lashes, that low predatory purr back again. “There has been a part of me which constantly craves nothing more than to sink my teeth into your neck and find out whether you taste as good as you smell.” The vampire rasped out and Clarke’s lips parted in shock as she took a step back and found her back pressed against the tent post.

Lexa was purposely staring at Clarke’s pulse point, throbbing in her neck and Clarke was finally allowed to see just how ravenous the mere thought of drinking Clarke’s blood made the vampire.

“But you won’t.” Clarke whispered, softly yes, but also confidently.

“No,” Lexa agreed, “not consciously…”

Clarke’s brows furrowed at the statement.

“When I hold you or touch you, Klark, I have to remain constantly aware of my strength. But when you kiss me and touch me… I forget myself. It had been fortunate that my instincts had driven me to not hurt you, to protect you, but they had also screamed at me to bite you…” Lexa dejectedly sighed and hung her head in shame.

“But you hadn’t.”

“You had been afraid of me.” Lexa lifted her gaze again to note Clarke’s confusion. “When we had kissed in your room. There had been a point where I could sense your fear, perhaps it had not lasted long, but I had been aware of it and still I did not stop.”

“Because I didn’t want you to stop!”

“You feared me again today. After I killed Quint.”

Clarke was about to deny it, but for a moment, yes, she’d been scared, but Lexa had said before that she was a predator. It was just instinct to be afraid of her. And again, it hadn’t lasted long. Clarke had just been reeling from almost dying and then seeing Lexa with those obsidian eyes murderously glaring at her.

“I was just surprised at how quickly you killed him. Not that I’m not grateful you saved me. Thank you for showing up when you did by the way.” Clarke flashed the Griffin Grin, hoping to get her Lexa back instead of this stoic Heda, but it didn’t work. “It was just an instinctive response, Lexa… You’re really intimidating when you go into Super-Heda mode.”

The vampire cocked her head to the side, intently studying Clarke’s face.

“You have seen me kill before, Klark.” Lexa murmured. “I had thought you understood what I am. That you accepted it. That you wanted me in spite of it.” Her jaw clenched and she straightened, and Clarke could almost see the walls going up even higher.

Clarke was grasping for the right words, moving forward into the vampire’s space to show her that she wasn’t afraid, willing her body to stay calm and relaxed even as her muscles grew tense at the thought of losing Lexa.

“I was taken off guard. You’re so gentle with me that it’s easy to forget how strong you are. How easily you can kill. But I’m not afraid that you’ll hurt me.”

“Perhaps you should be.” Lexa’s wings drooped, creating an air of despondency rather than threat.

“Well I’m _not_.” Clarke defiantly replied, moving in even closer. “And I’m not going to do this with you.”

Lexa’s brows rose in query.

“This whole ‘ _I’m dangerous and will hurt you so I’m gonna stay away for your own protection and go brood somewhere and convince myself everyone I’ve ever met is the exact same_ ’.” Clarke sardonically rambled.

Lexa stared at her. “I cannot guarantee that you will be safe next time I…” She trailed off blushing and looked away.

Clarke grinned.

“So we’ll figure it out.” Another step closer. “But we’re not stopping what’s going on between us.”

“No?”

“No. We’re gonna continue as we have been and figure out whether the biting will be a problem in future.”

“And how will we do that?” Lexa seemed both sceptical and hopeful.

“First of all, I’ll need some clarity on whether that part of you that wants to bite me, wants to taste my blood, or… kill me.”

Lexa seemed stricken at the question and moved a few steps back, Clarke slowly following until the vampire was backed up against the table the basin stood on. Lexa’s lips parted as if to say something, but her mouth closed again and her brows furrowed as she thought on Clarke’s statement.

“I have honestly never felt any desire to kill you, Klark.” Lexa rasped, swallowing thickly as her pupils blew wide. “But I cannot say that you would not be hurt should I ever lose control and give into that impulse.”

Clarke nodded. One thing she appreciated about the vampire, was that Lexa was always honest in her responses. Yes, sometimes she was infuriatingly vague and chose not to answer certain questions, but when words left that beautiful mouth, they were always the truth.

“Have you bitten someone without them dying before?”

Lexa nodded.

“Did it hurt them?”

“At first.”

“Are there any side-effects? Aside from those obviously associated with blood loss.”

“Not that I know of.” Lexa’s brow furrowed at the line of questioning.

“So then you can just bite me, find out what I taste like and then you’ll know, and then maybe the urge would be easier to control?”

“ _Klark_...” Lexa lightly growled, sounding exasperated but it was fucking cute, and then Clarke remembered that Lexa was topless and only wearing a pair of tight leather pants, and her stomach clenched in acknowledgement... “That is not a very good idea.” Lexa’s eyes were dark, glittering with intent, as though the vampire thought it was the best idea to have ever been thought.

Clarke would be lying if she said being the cause of that look didn’t turn her on, but introspection as to this apparent new kink of hers, would have to wait for later.

“Okay. Tell you what.” Clarke offered. “When you feel the urge to bite me overwhelming you, let me know, and then we decide what we’ll do. If you don’t want to drink directly from me, I could always get Mom to safely draw some blood.”

“No.” Lexa deadpanned.

“I’m not going to force you to do anything, you stubborn woman!” Clarke lightly laughed. “And you’re not getting rid of me. That’s not fair. What will Gustus do without me around to annoy him?”

Lexa smiled but it slowly faded into something wistful.

“I am different, Klark. You should be with someone who is the same as you. You deserve more than I am.”

Clarke was flabbergasted. Had Lexa’s people really fucked her up this much that not even Gustus’s unerring support and acceptance could make Lexa think differently about herself? Because it was clear to everyone with eyes how great Lexa was. And yes Clarke was biased, but Raven seemed to have buried the hatchet with the vampire, and that said enough about just how charismatic Lexa could be without even trying.

On further thought, though, Lexa’s self-esteem hardly seemed to be suffering. Not once since meeting the vampire, had Clarke been given the impression that Lexa wasn’t proud of who she was. The Heda had arrogantly smirked while she’d proclaimed herself ‘a monster, a demon and a goddess’ to her people. No, this wasn’t about Lexa’s sense of self at all then, but more about Clarke. Lexa was still doubtful that Clarke had accepted her, that Clarke wouldn’t treat her exactly like her people had. That Clarke was afraid of her…

“Do you know who the real monsters are?” Clarke started, somewhat irritated at every single Grounder in history. “The people up in Mount Weather, stringing our people up and bleeding them dry. By the looks of it, they’ve killed thousands of your people over the years. And who have you killed since I met you? Two guards who’d been shooting at you. And when we ceased fire, you stopped as well, instead of just wiping us all out like you could’ve easily done. You could’ve given your people the war they wanted, but you accepted Finn’s surrender in exchange for a truce we had declined the first time you offered it to us. Jaha and the others also attacked you, and I know they must’ve, because if you were just looking to kill people, you would’ve definitely killed Murphy.” Clarke smirked. Murphy had the unfortunate ability to get people murderously pissed off at him in record time. “Then most recently Quint, who had been a second away from stabbing me to death. Now have you been sneaking off to secretly kill people while I’ve known you?”

Lexa’s mouth tilted into a slightly amused smile. “No, Klark.”

“I didn’t think so.” Clarke grinned. “Believe me when I say this, Lexa. I’ve seen people doing monstrous things and you are not a monster or an abomination.” Clarke licked her lips and cupped Lexa’s face. “You’re perfect.”

Lexa looked dubious, but seemed to melt into Clarke’s touch regardless.

“And you drink blood because you _have_ to, it’s how you were built. It’s how you survive. And correct me if I’m wrong, you don’t do it just for kicks, do you?”

Lexa shook her head, eyes locked onto Clarke as though she held the secrets to life. That spark of hope back again, and Clarke knew she’d been right that this was about her, more so than Lexa.

“I never thought that I would meet anyone smarter than Raven.” Clarke earnestly confessed. “Or as loyal as Wells. Someone who can inspire people and be a great leader like my mother. Or who could be as proud and brave as my father...” She bit her lip and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck, absently tangling her fingers into those wavy chestnut curls. “You’re all of those things, Lexa. Good honest things, and at the moment, after all I’ve been through, you’re about the only person in this world I trust right now.”

Well, Clarke trusted Gustus too, and in that moment she realised that she really trusted Raven. They were at a place where Raven was just blunt enough for Clarke to trust the mechanic on everything that came out of her mouth. Because Raven Reyes had zero fucks left to give.

Clarke had the obvious issues with her mother. Kane seemed to be getting better, but Clarke couldn’t yet forget the man he’d been on the Ark. Octavia was loyal to her brother and had made her stance on things clear. And Bellamy… Well, Clarke wasn’t even going to go there.

She focused her attention on the dark eyes staring at her like Lexa wanted to believe everything Clarke had just said, but life had taught her not to. So Clarke tenderly brushed her thumbs over Lexa’s cheeks.

“I don’t want to lose you, Lexa.” She whispered and softly pressed their lips together, sighing contently when Lexa’s arms circled her waist and her wings enveloped Clarke a moment later.

 _Mint_. Lexa had been chewing on mint leaves.

Lexa softly purred against her, seemingly accepting that Clarke wasn’t going to let go, before the vampire broke the kiss and rubbed her cheek against Clarke’s, and pressed her face into Clarke’s neck, visibly inhaling as she held Clarke even closer.

Clarke smiled to herself, fingers running up and down Lexa’s spine, resisting the urge to touch her wings in that way that drove Lexa crazy.

“Would you like something to eat?” Lexa murmured, pulling her face back just enough to look down at Clarke.

“I’m good for now, thank you.” Clarke smiled, then bit her lip, before her eyes sparkled mischievously. “How ‘bout you? You hungry…? Or did Quint fill you up?”

Clarke held her breath. It was a risky and tasteless joke. But she figured Lexa didn’t care much for anyone save Gustus, and Quint did try to kill her for protecting her people, so Clarke didn’t feel too bad about disrespecting the dead. Especially not when she watched Lexa throw her head back and _laugh._ Clarke had heard sexy chuckles and amused chortles from the vampire before, but never the beautiful sound of the Heda’s unabashed laughter filling the tent and creating an aching warmth in Clarke’s chest.

She acted on impulse and crashed her lips onto Lexa’s, feeling the Heda’s wings pull back in surprise. Clarke grinned into the kiss, groaning when Lexa’s breasts pressed against her chest.

Lexa’s hands came up to Clarke’s shoulders, as though she was about to push the blonde away, but instead she just rested them there and kept on kissing Clarke, her purring growing louder as Clarke’s hands wandered over the smooth expanse of tantalizing skin on Lexa’s waist, of their own accord.

The vampire shuddered when Clarke’s thumbs brushed along the underside of Lexa’s breasts and the blonde reluctantly pulled away, more breathless than when Quint had been chasing her.

“Is this okay?” Clarke husked, staring up into dark eyes, glazed over with want.

The vampire nodded senselessly and kissed Clarke again.

Apparently the Heda was running purely on instinct again. It gave Clarke the confidence to cup Lexa’s breasts, moaning when Lexa whimpered into her mouth and pressed in closer. Maybe Clarke should’ve been scared after hearing the vampire admit to wanting to bite her, but she wasn’t.

Lexa had been completely caught off guard the last time they’d been together, and still hadn’t hurt her. So Clarke was pretty sure that now that Lexa was aware of her impulses, she wouldn’t give in to them. Perhaps Clarke was being naïve, she was most definitely horny, because Lexa’s breasts in her hands was all the blonde could and wanted to think about.

Clarke’s legs went weak as Lexa kissed up her jaw, and into her neck. Lips brushing over her skin, and teeth gently scraping at Clarke’s pulse point.

“Can we go lay down?” Clarke whimpered when Lexa, gently sucked on her skin, before lifting her head, to stare at Clarke with hooded lids.

“Sha Klark.” Lexa purred out, still staring at Clarke’s lips.

The blonde smiled and lead Lexa over to the bed. Lexa’s body responded as though it was ninety-nine per cent erogenous zone.

On the short trip to the furs though, Clarke started feeling slightly guilty. Was she taking advantage? Lexa clearly wasn’t thinking straight. Clarke didn’t doubt that Lexa wanted her, but Lexa had had reservations about what might happen. But since her concern was for Clarke, surely Clarke had the right to decide that she was fine with whatever happened, right?

And it was just second base. They’re taking it slow, still connecting intimately and allowing Lexa to explore her sexuality at her own pace.

Yes, they’d just fool around for a little bit… 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Tell me if you want me to stop.” Clarke hoarsely panted, grazing her teeth over Lexa’s nipple and then sucking it into her mouth, eliciting a visceral growl from the Heda.

She was laying on top of Lexa, thigh pressed against Lexa’s centre, their bodies frantically grinding together.

“No.” Lexa huffed out, lifting Clarke’s head and gently nipping at Clarke’s chin, before she started pulling at the material of Clarke’s shirt.

They were still as dressed as they had been twenty minutes prior. The kissing had started off lazy and chaste as Clarke tried not to accidently shift her weight onto Lexa’s wings while she straddled her. They giggled and smiled while hands curiously wandered over warm skin. Lexa soon having slipped her own underneath Clarke’s shirt, growling in satisfaction once she’d figured out how to undo Clarke’s bra and was rewarded with naked flesh beneath her eager hands.

Clarke moaned at Lexa’s want to not stop. She didn’t want to either, as her hand moved down Lexa’s stomach and traced her fingertips at the line of Lexa’s pants. The vampire quivered again and Clarke looked up for assurance that she hadn’t read this wrong.

“Remove them.” Lexa rasped, moving her own hands to take her pants off.

Clarke slid down her body, and quickly removed Lexa’s boots, before she hooked her fingers into Lexa’s waistband and started pulling the leather down…

And fuck, of course Lexa wasn’t wearing any underwear.

Clarke bit her lip till it hurt as she undressed the Heda, getting off of the bed and discarding the pants while she mindlessly stared down on the image she’d uncovered. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen the vampire naked, but it was the first time Clarke had been able to _look_.

Lexa laid on her furs, nothing but smooth, tanned and flawless flesh wherever Clarke’s gaze landed. Her wings were slightly spread, hair wildly splayed in every direction, and Clarke was torn between going to fetch her sketchbook and some white sheets, to get the perfect contrast of the Heda’s dark features down on paper, and jumping her right then and there.

Clarke had drawn thousands of images in her life, very rarely had she drawn the same thing twice. But almost every time she saw Lexa, her fingers itched to capture every single detail of the beautiful creature.

“Klark?” Lexa caught her attention, lifting up on her elbows, cocking her head to the side in question.

Lexa’s apprehension wasn’t a result of any bashfulness at her own nudity. If Clarke had learned one thing, it was that the vampire was a shameless exhibitionist. No, Lexa was probably wondering what the hell had Clarke pausing.

Instead of being a complete cheese ball and telling Lexa about the thoughts that had run through her mind, Clarke flashed her the Griffin Grin – that for once actually worked when Lexa instantly smiled back – and quickly pulled her shirt and bra over her head. It hadn’t been the smoothest of moves and Clarke made a mental note to give Lexa a little striptease on a later occasion. But for now she was just going to keep it simple and make sure Lexa was as comfortable as possible and enjoyed every second of their time together.

She roughly toed off her boots, and pushed down her pants and underwear, and when she looked back up again, Lexa was sitting on her knees on the furs, right in front of Clarke.

The blonde smirked and stood a little taller at the way Lexa’s eyes seemed to feast on every piece of exposed skin she could find. Lexa had this uncanny way of making Clarke feel beautiful and wanted, just by the way she looked at her.

Lexa’s hands rose up, paused, and then dropped down again, before she locked her eyes on Clarke’s.

“May I touch you, Klark?” Lexa earnestly requested. And Clarke almost laughed, because _fuck yes_ , was her answer. But then she remembered who she was dealing with and softly smiled, taking a step closer.

She took both of Lexa’s hands in hers, and then brought them up to cup her breasts.

A loud purr instantly burst from Lexa chest, causing Clarke to grin broadly and dip down to press their lips together again.

* * *

 

Clarke sat straddling Lexa’s hips, staring down at the beautiful vampire beneath her. Lexa’s lips were parted and her eyes the blackest Clarke had ever seen them as they followed Lexa’s hands caressing over Clarke’s thighs as though mesmerized by the simple act.

Clarke held her breath as Lexa’s fingertips traced her skin, as though the vampire was mapping every piece of flesh she found. Her heart was furiously pounding against her ribs, mind still trying to process whether this was actually happening. Clarke’s skin was flushed, and she felt on fire, unable to do anything but close her eyes and focus on Lexa’s fervent, yet studious, exploration of her body.

When she felt Lexa’s abdomen tighten beneath her thighs, Clarke’s eyes fluttered open, to watch the vampire effortlessly lift herself, arms circling Clarke’s waist and moaning when Clarke sunk down onto her lap.

Clarke shivered, when a furiously purring Lexa tenderly nuzzled into her neck.

“Breathe, Klark...” Lexa whispered against the shell of her ear, causing Clarke to shudder and inhale a sharp breath.

She hadn’t even noticed she’d been holding it this entire time, and was sort of dizzy as she nuzzled Lexa back, smelling her hair before kissing her way up a sharp jaw till their lips met again.

* * *

 

Clarke lay flush against Lexa’s side, careful to avoid her wing, intently watching Lexa’s face as her hand slowly moved between Lexa’s thighs.

“ _Chon yu kei_?” Clarke whispered, echoing Lexa’s query of earlier that day, and watched one corner of the vampire’s lips tilt up, cheeks flushing darker.

“ _Sha_ , Klark.” Lexa husked, a fang biting at her bottom lip. “I enjoy the way you touch me.”

Clarke grinned back, fingers still gently moving between Lexa’s slickened folds, about to kiss her when Lexa spoke again.

“I have never felt this way before.” Lexa softly admitted. And the way those dark eyes softly gazed at her, Clarke just knew that Lexa wasn’t just referring to the sex.

“Neither have I.” Clarke hoarsely confessed, making sure Lexa could see the honesty in her eyes, before she smiled and finally kissed her again.

* * *

 

“ _Beja_ Klark…” Lexa moaned, her hips bucking as Clarke thrust into her, unable to look away from Lexa’s face. “ _Moubeda_ …”

Clarke knew that ‘beja’ meant please, but she didn’t know what ‘moubeda’ meant.

“English, Gorgeous.” Clarke murmured, brushing her lips over Lexa’s cheek. “Tell me what you want in English, please.”

“ _More_.” Lexa growled, grabbing Clarke behind her nape, and pulling her down onto her lips.

Clarke got the message that time, figuring that Lexa was way passed ready, and pressed her palm down a bit harder. Lexa whimpered her appreciation, roughly rocking her hips up against Clarke’s hand, while the blonde twisted her fingers.

“ _Sha_ , Klark.” Lexa groaned and tilted her head back, arching her breasts up, and Clarke seized the opportunity to suck Lexa’s nipple into her mouth.

The vampire moaned, her body starting to quiver. Clarke could feel Lexa tightening, and rocked her hips against Lexa’s side in solidarity.

Lexa started hoarsely panting, softly growling on every sharp exhale. Clarke could feel the build-up as Lexa’s body drew closer and closer to release.

“ _Klark_.” Lexa snarled, threading the fingers of one hand into Clarke’s hair, keeping the blonde in place against her breast.

Clarke obeyed, but when Lexa’s hips started wildly bucking, she looked up and watched mesmerized as Lexa’s eyes clenched shut and her lips parted to bare her fangs. The vampire threw her head back and her wings seemed to contract beneath them, lifting Lexa’s chest higher into the air, curling her spine into a perfect arch.

Lexa let out a loud guttural growl, hand flying up to grab a hold of the furs above her head and swiftly pulled them over her face, biting into them, as her body convulsed with the force of her orgasm.

Clarke grinned, her heart almost bursting with affection, as she kept her position, while she laid soft kisses over Lexa’s chest and into her neck.

* * *

 

Clarke was cradled in Lexa’s arms, both of them half laying on one of Lexa’s wings. The vampire was contently purring as she ran her fingers over Clarke’s torso, burrowing her face into Clarke’s nape.

“May I touch you too?” Lexa shyly whispered into Clarke’s neck.

The blonde was struck with such an abrupt jolt of arousal, her hips jerked forward while her stomach clenched almost painfully.

Lexa chuckled throatily, her purring growing louder as she kissed Clarke in response, apparently not needing anymore answer than that. Showing her strength, Lexa smoothly and effortlessly moved them both until Clarke was laying on her back. The vampire settled between Clarke’s thighs, softly growling when Clarke’s wetness rubbed against her belly.

Lexa absently licked her lips and sat up between Clarke’s legs, staring blindly at the apex of Clarke’s thighs. Then, with a slightly trembling hand, Lexa reached out her fingers, looking up at Clarke for reassurance.

The blonde smiled as best she could, the anticipation having coiled so tight, Clarke was sure she would explode the instant Lexa touched her.

Lexa seemed to take Clarke’s reaction for permission, and lowered her head to rest her cheek against Clarke’s knee, gently nuzzling it before she placed a tender kiss there. Clarke smiled easier that time, but loudly whimpered when she felt Lexa tentatively run her fingers through the abundance of wetness between Clarke’s thighs, before the touch disappeared again.

Clarke bit back a frustrated noise and looked to where the vampire was upright again, dark eyes staring at her fingertips.

“Lexa?” Clarke wondered.

“It feels…” Lexa breathed, rubbing the tips of her fingers together, before poking out her tongue and touching it to her fingers.

Clarke helplessly whimpered at the sight.

“… _Slimy_ …” Lexa finished her thought, grinning broadly and Clarke didn’t have the heart to tell her that ‘slimy’ wasn’t a word any girl would want to hear in this situation.

“I have read…” Lexa trailed off, staring down between Clarke’s legs again, and thankfully Clarke had grown used to how the Heda operated. The way Lexa studied new things, taking her time to understand first before she decided on a plan of action.

 _Patience and the Griffin Grin_.

Well at least patience had gotten her this far. Clarke just hoped that she wouldn’t spontaneously combust before Lexa touched her again.

“Lexa…” Clarke softly reminded the Heda that she was busy with a thought.

“ _Sha_ Klark?” Lexa distractedly murmured back, head dipping lower as she sniffed Clarke’s crotch.

The blonde was red with embarrassment and arousal. Her thighs trembling in anticipation. Clarke was certain that Lexa was trying to kill her. Or would kill her without even meaning to, if this unintended teasing continued on for much longer.

“You have read?” Clarke prompted.

Lexa finally acknowledged Clarke’s face again and blushed bright red.

“I have read that women enjoy…” Lexa trailed off again, the rest of the sentence replaced with a loud purr. “… That you might enjoy… my mouth…” The vampire looked up at Clarke through those thick lashes and Clarke was sure she must’ve come at least a little bit in that moment, because she moaned almost lewdly, her hips bucking toward Lexa’s face, before she could stop herself.

“Yes…” Was all Clarke could manage to get out, because god help her, but if Lexa didn’t touch her soon, Clarke was going to do it herself.

Lexa must’ve gotten the message, because she inhaled deeply, and grazed her fangs over Clarke’s inner thigh. Her tongue followed soon after, before she very unceremoniously opened her mouth and licked over Clarke’s centre.

The blonde groaned and closed her eyes, as Lexa explored her with her lips and tongue, the purring vibrating against Clarke already more than enough for Clarke to work with.

But then the vampire stopped purring, and though Lexa seemed to have learned all the right spots from when Clarke had touched her, the blonde had to admit that while the purring had been a delightful surprise, she was more concerned with why it had stopped, more so than she was disappointed that it had.

Did Lexa not like the way she tasted? God, was she too _slimy_?

Clarke lifted onto her elbows, only then realising that her hips were still mindlessly rocking up into Lexa’s mouth.

“Lexa?” She rasped.

Lexa hummed in question, and Clarke’s eyes rolled back into her head.

“E-everything okay down there?” She asked, her voice pitched higher than usual, her hips moving faster, regretting having even asked, because Lexa was so good at this, or maybe it was just because it was _Lexa_ that Clarke was already so close.

“ _Sha_ …” Lexa breathed over Clarke’s folds and immediately continued her ministrations.

The blonde quivered.

“Th-then why did you stop p-purring?” Clarke gasped out, as Lexa experimentally started sucking.

She instantly cursed the bad timing of the question as Lexa stopped and looked up at Clarke, tilting her head to the side, absently licking her lips of Clarke’s wetness. It took all Clarke had to clench her fists into the furs, to stop herself from pressing Lexa’s gorgeous face back between her thighs.

“I enjoy listening to the sounds you make.” Lexa sheepishly grinned and Clarke reached down, pulling Lexa up toward her and kissed her thoroughly.

Lexa smiled and pulled back, staring down at Clarke, eyes crinkling at the corners with genuine happiness.

“You like it?” Lexa excitedly questioned.

“Hmmm.” Clarke grinned, kissing her again. “You’re so good at this.”

Clarke wasn’t even exaggerating and closed her eyes as Lexa kissed her way down her stomach and eagerly went back to an almost expert use of her tongue. At first, Clarke had been conscious of the quiet, and the knowledge that Lexa was attentively listening to the sounds she made.

But when Lexa tentatively entered her and started involuntarily purring at the act, Clarke forgot about the quiet, loudly moaning at the abundance of sensations she was being accosted with. She threaded her fingers into Lexa’s hair, causing the vampire to purr even harder, instantly triggering Clarke’s climax.

“Oh, sweet fucking jesus, Lexa!” Clarke cried out as her body stiffened and convulsed; an unbridled orgasm finally tearing through her body.

* * *

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

Clarke woke with her cheek resting against Lexa’s chest, nuzzled in between her breasts, and her body splayed out right on top of the gently purring vampire. Lexa was holding Clarke in a close embrace, her wings covering Clarke like a soft blanket. It created a cosy bubble of safety and comfort and Clarke had to think really hard about when exactly she’d fallen asleep, but then flushed bright red when she finally remembered.

“Good morning.” Lexa whispered, wings slowly unfurling from Clarke’s body, feathers tickling over the blonde’s skin, even as Lexa’s arms remained wrapped around her, giving an affectionate squeeze to emphasize the greeting.

Clarke knew the smile she would find even before she shyly lifted her head.

“’Morning.” She murmured back, whilst appreciating the beauty that was Lexa’s face. “Sorry I fell asleep on you.” Clarke remembered to apologise, she’d had her fingers buried deep inside of Lexa for the third time that evening when she’d somehow managed to fall asleep _during_ the act. “Literally.”

Lexa just hummed her acceptance, tenderly stroking Clarke’s back.

“We don’t all have super stamina, you know.” Clarke bashfully continued, feeling embarrassed and incompetent and hoping that Lexa had at least half as good a time as Clarke had, because that would still have been plenty. “And I hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, not to mention that my body was drained after all that adrenaline from almost being killed by Quint left -

\- _Shhh_...” Lexa whispered, smiling gorgeously before pressing their lips together.

Clarke returned the kiss without question or complaint, before Lexa pulled her head back and tenderly smiled.

“I may not have anyone to compare to, Alehan, but you are an exceptional lover.”

Clarke just chuckled. “You too.” She murmured, allowing her eyes to eat up the sight of a dishevelled Lexa. It was by far Clarke’s favourite look on the vampire. She would gladly spend every second of her day watching Lexa wake up. “You’re a _really_ fast learner.”

Lexa smirked proudly. “You said that you would show me –

Lexa was cut off by Clarke’s loudly rumbling stomach, heard even over the vampire’s contented purring.

Clarke blushed even harder as Lexa’s brows knitted and her head tilted to the side in thought.

“You did not eat last night…” The vampire murmured as if to herself, before she gently took hold of Clarke, easily moved her to the side, and got up from the furs.

Clarke wanted to protest; wanted to joke that she had in fact eaten the night before, but doubted Lexa would even get the innuendo. And yes, she was very hungry, but Clarke had grown used to hunger after weeks on the Ground and she knew she could wait at least another hour if Lexa would just return to bed. But Clarke didn’t utter a single word, because the vampire was naked and Clarke couldn’t help but take a moment of silence to appreciate Lexa’s stunning body.

“ _Gostos_ should return soon.” Lexa spoke while she removed a selection of clothes from a trunk set up in one corner of the tent.

“Shit.” Clarke muttered lowly, but of course Lexa heard and looked up in question. “What if he heard us?” Clarke whispered, as though lowering her voice _now_ would change anything.

“He did not hear us.” Lexa lazily smirked and pulled on a pair of skin tight leather pants.

They all looked the same to Clarke and Clarke loved them all the same.

“How do you know?” She absently wondered, watching Lexa strapping on a vest.

“He had not been present to hear anything.”

“You’re not worried that he didn’t come home?”

“Before we went looking for you, he had told me that he planned on spending the night in the village.” Lexa slyly grinned.

Clarke scowled, remembering Gustus’s appreciation of her mother.

“With who?” She all but accused.

The vampire tilted her head and confusedly looked at Clarke.

“I did not ask.” Lexa answered in a tone which warranted a nonchalant shrug that predictably didn’t occur. “If she is important, _Gostos_ will introduce me to her.”

Clarke hoped it was Byrne. Or literally anyone else. Of course Clarke and Gustus had grown closer and she wanted him happy, but no, not with her mother. No way.

“Do you not want anyone to know about us?” Lexa murmured, focused on fastening up her boots.

Clarke chuckled.

“I think all my people know about us by now. I dunno about yours, though.” Clarke wondered for the first time what the Grounders made of all the time she spent with their Heda. They hadn’t been in Ton DC long, and Lexa’s little camp was far out of the way. But many of the villagers had seen Clarke there and with Gustus. Though she couldn’t say for sure whether any had ever seen her specifically with Lexa. Maybe they thought that Clarke and Gustus were a thing? And there Gustus was, off possibly seducing her mother behind Clarke’s back.

Clarke cringed at her derailing thoughts and focused back on Lexa who was still studiously fastening her boots, yet Clarke could see the slight tension in the Heda’s shoulders as she waited for Clarke to finish answering whether she wanted them to be a secret or not.

“Gustus is scary, and makes me feel like I should’ve asked you to marry me first before we did anything.” She nervously laughed.

It was a joke, but it also wasn’t.

Lexa finished with her boots and stood up straight, nodding as though it hadn’t remotely been a joke.

“If you do not mind, I would prefer that not everyone know, for the same reasons I wish to keep the extent of my and _Gostos’s_ bond secret. It is already clear that both of you are very dear to me, and I can only hope that this will protect you, rather than threaten your safety.” Lexa stoically stated as though all she had wanted was for Clarke to not want them to be a secret, whether they could be open about it or not. “You may tell those close to you, or whomever you feel you want to tell. The choice is yours, Klark. _Gostos_ of course will be informed, but I ask that you give me some time to speak to him first.” The vampire requested and walked over to her basin.

“Should I be worried about his reaction?” Clarke nervously asked, gripping onto the furs.

Sensing Clarke’s anxiety, Lexa turned to look at the blonde and softly smiled.

“ _Gostos_ approves of you, Alehan. But he is still _Gostos_. He will need to hear it from me in order to understand that this is what I want.”

Clarke nodded, not feeling reassured at all, and hoped that Lexa would protect her from her large overprotective ‘bestie for life’.

“Not gonna bath?” Clarke tried to lighten her own mood and watched the way the soft leather curved over the contours of Lexa’s ass. Such a lovely distraction...

The vampire was a definite neat-freak. And Clarke was surprised Lexa wasn’t on her way to the waterfall already.

“No.” Lexa deadpanned in that blunt way she had that Clarke had come to find endearing rather than offensive.

“Okay.” Clarke easily accepted, thinking Lexa would prioritise food first and then go. “Do you mind if I do, though?” She requested, hungrily eyeing Lexa’s all natural range of grooming products.

Lexa’s head snapped up as though Clarke had asked whether she could go and stab Gustus in the eye. A second later the almost horrified look was gone and replaced with a weak attempt at a smile.

“Of course.” Lexa stiffly nodded. “I will fetch you more water and arrange for food.”

Lexa then started moving to the exit and Clarke quickly jumped up, not caring about her nudity, and rushed toward her.

“Hey! Wait!” Clarke called and the vampire stopped as though Clarke had used magic on her.

Worriedly, Clarke stepped into Lexa’s space and took her hand, lacing their fingers together.

“What did I do?” Clarke asked, placing her fingers under Lexa’s chin and gently lifted her gaze.

Lexa didn’t seem like the selfish type; unwilling to share her things… But they were just starting to get to know each other, and everyone had that one thing they were weird about…

“Nothing.” Lexa’s smile was real this time, but also embarrassed.

“You don’t want me to wash?” Clarke confusedly wondered.

A fang poked out and worried at Lexa’s bottom lip, - another of Clarke’s favourite images to be honest -, before green eyes stared directly into her.

“I have chosen to abstain from bathing today, so I might carry your scent with me for just a while longer.” Lexa murmured, not breaking eye contact and it was Clarke’s turn to blush as the pieces finally clicked.

“So I take it you want your scent on me for a while longer too?”

A loud purr burst out of Lexa’s chest and her pupils blew wide. “ _Yes_.” The vampire lowly growled and Clarke shivered.

“Okay…” She breathed, stepping closer. “I can bath tonight or tomorrow. No big deal.”

_Griffin Grin._

Lexa showed her appreciation at the gesture by pulling Clarke closer and deeply kissing her, until Clarke’s stomach decided to run clitteference once again.

* * *

 

After washing her face, chewing on a few of Lexa’s mint leaves, and attempting to get her hair to cooperate, Clarke took an experimental sniff at her person.

She certainly didn’t reek of sex and wondered whether going commando would make a difference to the effect Lexa was hoping for. But then again, Lexa’s nose was a lot more sensitive than others’, so Clarke could at least feel comfortable that no one but the vampire would know what they’d gotten up to by just the smell of her.

Finally feeling as decent as she was going to get that morning, Clarke ducked out of the Dark Tent and smiled brightly when she found Lexa and Gustus sitting next to a fire. Lexa was in the process of combing out Gustus’s long beard. It was such a domestic scene, Clarke felt as though she was intruding.

“Good morning, Gustus.” Clarke greeted, and then averted her gaze to the roasting rabbit when she remembered that Gustus might still kill her for sleeping with Lexa.

Gustus, of course, had been the reason she and Lexa had gotten closer in the first place, but things were happening really fast and Clarke could understand why he might not want Lexa – who had been alone for so long – to just jump into something. Clarke too, had her reservations, wondering how much of Lexa’s feelings were because of Clarke, and how much were as a result of the novelty of the situation. What happened once the curious vampire started wondering what sex would be like with other people? The thought made Clarke’s stomach twist uncomfortably, contracting around emptiness, and it rumbled out loud again.

“ _Strik Alehan_.” Gustus returned the greeting, motioning to some crockery at the side of the fire. “Help yourself.”

Clarke nodded, not sure that she wanted to eat anymore, but she went to cut a few strips from the spit and offered to cut some for Lexa and Gustus too. Both accepted with light smirks, but Clarke could feel their eyes on her as she dished the slices of meat onto three plates.

“Klark?” Lexa murmured, and Clarke didn’t want to look up, but she did, and found stunning green eyes intently studying her, Lexa’s head curiously tilted to the side. “Is something wrong?”

Clarke weakly smiled and shook her head, handing them their plates, which they distractedly accepted even though Gustus’s beard hadn’t been re-braided yet.

“ _Mochof_ , Alehan.” Lexa softly thanked her and rounded the fire to sit next to Clarke.

They placed their plates on their laps and then Lexa wrapped her arm around Clarke’s shoulders and smoothly pulled her in closer, placing a tender kiss on the blonde’s temple. Clarke smiled in spite of her thoughts. Lexa didn’t do anything without serious consideration. And she’d chosen to be with Clarke. Lexa wanted her scent on Clarke and even more than that, Lexa wanted Clarke’s scent on her own body too.

Clarke soon forgot about her thoughts as she tried to slowly eat the delicious, yet heavy, breakfast on an empty stomach. She was about to ask for a second helping when Lexa looked over her shoulder and then toward Clarke.

“Your _nomon_ is on her way.”

Clarke frowned and glared at Gustus, whose only response was a quick lift of his brows at her behaviour. But Lexa then rose from her seat and Clarke reluctantly followed suit, finally turning to see Abby approaching the little camp, thankfully minus Bellamy.

“Mom…” Clarke awkwardly questioned more than greeted when Abby stopped a few feet away.

“You weren’t in your quarters last night.” Abby stated, cautiously looking to Lexa who was still standing close to Clarke’s side.

At least Gustus didn’t seem at all interested in Abby’s arrival as he just continued to eat his breakfast while the tension built between the three women staring at each other.

“No, I didn’t.” Clarke agreed, wondering what Abby would do or say now and how Lexa would respond. Her mother hadn’t been happy when Clarke had stayed over at Camp Jaha without notifying her. It wasn’t like Clarke could call her and let her know when she would be sleeping out though.

“Can we go somewhere to talk?” Abby asked Clarke, her eyes moving to Lexa again.

Clarke looked up to the vampire, whose expression was stoic and unreadable. Lexa had effortlessly slipped on her Heda mask again.

“We actually need to go check in on Raven. Maybe we can talk when I get back?”

It wasn’t a lie at all, but Clarke had been nervous for most of the breakfast, wrought with insecurities, and she just needed to spend some alone time with Lexa again before letting Abby know that she was sort of in a relationship with a vampire.

Abby looked like she was about to protest, probably to say that it wouldn’t take long, when Lexa spun around, bristling as she looked up into the sky with a deep frown.

Clarke followed her gaze, but saw nothing.

“What is it?” Clarke murmured, touching Lexa’s arm, practically feeling her mother’s stare burning in on the action.

The vampire ignored Clarke while she continued to stare off into space, but then swiftly turned and wrapped an arm around Clarke’s waist, pulling her close and lifting her clean of the ground.

“ _Set daun, Gostos_!” Lexa desperately shouted toward Gustus and then carried Clarke the few feet to where Abby stood confused and pulled Clarke’s mother into the embrace as well.

Lexa didn’t give them any explanation as she spun all three of them back around, her wings cupping Abby and Clarke as Lexa forced them to duck down.

Clarke was aware of the darkness that enveloped her when Lexa’s wings covered them like a dome, she could hear her mother’s ragged breathing right next to her; could feel Abby futilely struggling to get out of Lexa’s strong hold. But then Clarke heard the eerie whistling sound growing increasingly louder. Clarke wasn’t sure what it was, only that it made her blood run cold and she was grateful that her mother was right next to her and that Lexa was holding her close.

A moment later, a loud explosion sounded, and the earth literally quaked beneath them. Clarke whimpered, and pressed her face into Lexa’s neck, the vampire pulling her closer in reassurance as she continued to shield them from whatever was happening.

The moments ticked by agonizingly slowly, until Lexa finally unfurled her wings, rose to her feet, both Griffin women still held in her arms as her eyes scanned the sky for a brief moment before frantically searching for Gustus.

“I’m alright.” Gustus spoke before Lexa could even ask and Clarke felt some tension leave the rigid body she was still pressed up against.

Abby had been released and was watching in horror as Ton DC burned, before she turned at the sound of Clarke’s voice.

“I’m okay.” Clarke smiled when wide obsidian eyes stared down at her.

Lexa softly purred and nuzzled her face into Clarke’s neck and hair. Clarke easily allowed Lexa the needed reassurance, as she took her own, by running her hands across Lexa’s back, to feel for any injuries that may have been caused by flying debris. Yes, Lexa would probably heal in two seconds, but it didn’t stop Clarke from wanting to make sure. She was so grateful that the Heda’s camp was outside of the village and that Abby had come to look for her that morning.

Clarke tilted her head when Lexa let out a little whimper, instinctively baring her throat to the vampire, who gently grazed her teeth over Clarke’s neck. It didn’t feel sexual at all, and Clarke responded by tangling her hand into Lexa’s hair to keep her close. She didn’t flinch when her eyes met her mother’s wide surprised stare as Abby watched the unabashed tenderness taking place in front her.

“Our people need us.” Clarke murmured to Lexa, dragging her gaze from her mother as she closed her eyes and nuzzled into Lexa’s hair, pacifying herself with that familiar and soothing scent of forest.

Her friends were still in Ton DC, and Clarke hoped and prayed that they made it out alive. She would always care about them; no matter how strained things were at the moment. The only reason she hadn’t taken off running toward them yet, was because Clarke wasn’t sure whether a second missile would follow.

“ _Sha_ , Klark.” Lexa sighed and reluctantly pulled away to stare at the burning village.

“What was that?” Clarke asked. “A missile?”

Both Abby and Lexa nodded. The former in shock and the latter in anger; like this might not have been the first time Lexa had seen the effects of a missile used on her people.

“The _Maunon_ have made their move.” Lexa’s jaw twitched before she looked toward Abby. “My people will need medical assistance, Abigail.”

“Of course.” Abby cleared her throat. “I will do everything I can to help.”

“ _Mochof, Nomon kom Alehan_.” Lexa sincerely thanked her and lifted her gaze to Gustus who had walked over to join them. “I will go and make sure that it is safe.” She told him, an unspoken conversation passing between them.

Gustus nodded and Lexa turned to Clarke, trying to give her a reassuring smile, but it was too strained with concern and anger to be believable. Clarke appreciated the attempt nonetheless.

“Be safe.” Clarke murmured and softly kissed her.

That did get her a genuine, albeit small smile, before Lexa took off into the sky.

* * *

 

Clarke had been fine until the moment Lexa was out of sight. Then she seemed to become aware of her heartbeat steadily increasing as the attack finally sunk in. Her friends might all be dead. She needed to get to that village and help.

She turned to Gustus, who she knew would try and stop her, but before she could try and convince him to let her go, a gunshot rang out, echoing through the forest.

The three of them stood rigid, all staring at Ton DC, when just a few moments later another deafening shot rang out.

“It’s a sniper.” Abby murmured.

Clarke started moving before anyone could stop her, Gustus and Abby hot on her heels. It might’ve seemed stupid to go running into a kill zone, but they had to do something.

They kept low, ducking behind piles of debris that used to be homes, and arrived in time to see Lexa lifting a large piece of concrete as another shot rang out, hitting the vampire and causing Lexa to loudly growl as she threw the slab to the side. The vampire stared down into the hole she’d uncovered and spoke a few words Clarke couldn’t hear, before another shot sounded and the Heda instantly leapt up, and took off flying over the tree tops.

Clarke could hear people groaning in pain all around her as her eyes frantically searched the destruction. A reflection caught her eye and she saw Octavia signalling her with the blade of a knife, ducked down behind a building, Lincoln close behind her. Octavia then pointed across from her and Clarke found Bellamy sitting upright against a large boulder, Byrne’s body pulled into his lap.

He was staring down at the Major, and Clarke could see that her entire arm had been blown off. She swallowed thickly when Bellamy lifted his hand, and gently closed Byrne’s eyes.

The only movements in the village were flames and smoke, as everyone waited with baited breath for the Heda to return and tell them that the sniper wouldn’t take them out the instant they moved into the open.

* * *

 

The calls for help from the ditch Lexa had uncovered were deafening.

Octavia, and of course it would be the hot-headed girl, decided to brave the open and quickly started rushing toward the injured.

Clarke turned to Gustus and her mother.

“Will you go get your bag, please?” She asked them both.

Predictably, Gustus looked like he wouldn’t leave her.

“I’m gonna stay right here.” Clarke promised. “If Le-the Heda, hasn’t taken out the sniper yet, she will soon. We need to be ready to move if we don’t want to lose any more people.”

Gustus looked to the burning village, then to Abby, who nodded and the two of them moved to where her mother had been lodged. Clarke could see the building still mostly intact and hoped that the medical supplies would be too.

Her eyes met Bellamy’s across the debris and he nodded to her, which was a good sign. Nothing like senseless death and destruction to bring people together and remind them of what’s important.

* * *

 

The moments ticked by agonizingly slowly, and finally Lexa returned with a Mount Weather guard dangling from her grip on his throat.

As soon as the vampire landed and threw him to the ground, the survivors of the attack came crawling from their hiding places and started helping the injured.

“ _Teik em set raun ona tri_!” The Heda’s voice rang out, instructing that the Mountain Man be place on the cutting pole.

As though rehearsed, six Ton DC villagers broke away to obey her, while the others continued to separate dead from injured. It was a triage that could save many and Clarke instantly joined her mother, attentively following Abby’s instructions.

They worked swiftly in organising those who could wait, those who weren’t going to make it, and those who could still be saved.

“ _Gostos_!” Lexa’s voice boomed again, from where she stood, dead centre of the chaos, watching as a pole was being erected for the Mountain Man.

Gustus, who’d been helping them with the injured, swiftly moved toward Lexa.

Clarke focused back on her mother and Nyko’s instructions. Working to stop bleeding wounds, or cleaning them enough so that her mother could determine the best course of action.

Gustus returned from his conference with the Heda and instructed them to set every broken bone. Abby argued the needless pain for those who couldn’t be saved, but Gustus ignored her and looked to Nyko who obeyed without hesitation. Clarke helped to make the patients as comfortable as she could, figuring this was just another Grounder tradition.

There was no use in arguing when there was so much to be done.

* * *

 

“ _Klark kom Skaikru_!” The Heda’s voice caused Clarke to jump where she was pressing cloths into a profusely bleeding wound.

Before she could wonder what to do, Nyko’s hands replaced her own. He didn’t even look at her. No one ignored the Heda when she called.

Grateful, Clarke made her way over to where Lexa stood, wings raised up into the sky, dark eyes trained on where the villagers were tying up the sniper. Gustus was nowhere in sight. But Bellamy was standing close to the prisoner. Much like Clarke, he was probably dying to know whether their friends were still alive.

“He is without a suit.” The Heda stoically announced when Clarke joined her, obsidian eyes trained on the Mountain Man.

Clarke didn’t have to ask what was expected of her. She just knew what the Heda wanted, and walked over to the cutting tree, begging Bellamy with her eyes to stay back and not interfere, just this once.

* * *

 

The Mountain Man’s eyes flitted briefly to Clarke, before they settled wide eyed on the Heda again, wings up in the air, gaze dark and menacing, glaring directly back at him.

“She’s going to kill you, you know.” Clarke whispered at his side, making sure he had a clear view of the powerful vampire.

The man jerkily nodded, his eyes still trained on the Heda, like he was afraid that if he looked away, Lexa would instantly attack him.

“W-what is she?” He wondered in terrified awe.

“Dante doesn’t know about her?” Clarke spoke soothingly, trying to get him to talk more. He was clearly in shock, hopefully that would be enough for him to forget his allegiances and open up.

“If he didn’t before, he sure does now.” The assassin answered freely.

Clarke had no idea what Lexa had done to the man when she’d found him, but he was certainly a lot more forthcoming than Clarke had expected.

“You told him via radio?” Clarke softly asked, trying not to agitate the man. It looked as though he didn’t even register that she was there.

He nodded again. “I told Cage Wallace. He’s the president now.”

So the son had taken over... Clarke didn’t know anything about him and it only added to her concerns, but she continued her calm questioning, grateful that Bellamy wasn’t interfering, even while she herself struggled to control her anger at what the Mountain Men had just done to Ton DC.

“When you saw her through your scope?” Clarke prodded for clarification.

Another absent nod.

It was clear he had no idea the Heda existed before then. But that didn’t mean that Dante and/or Cage hadn’t known. They wouldn’t tell their people of a flying vampire and risk a needless panic. Clarke wondered how many of the Mountain Men even knew of the transfusions taking place or whether they truly believed it to be pharmaceutical treatments, as Dante had alluded to. But too many guards were aware of what was going on for the truth to not have been spread around throughout the years… It wasn’t even surprising that none of the Grounder prisoners had mentioned Lexa. Given Lincoln’s silent veneration, it was expected, and Clarke doubted that the Mountain Men bothered to question ‘the savages’ they shamelessly murdered.

“How are you able to be out here without a suit?” Clarke asked, and the man finally turned to look at her with that same fear he held for Lexa, before quickly snapping his gaze back to the Heda, where Gustus had returned to the vampire’s side.

Clarke forgot about her interrogation as she watched Gustus smearing kohl over the Heda’s face in that pattern Clarke had last seen during Finn’s Cutting Ceremony. The black war paint made Lexa’s obsidian eyes seem like a hollow black abyss and that much more ominous. Clarke could hear the Mountain Man gulping beside her, but she kept her eyes trained on Lexa, and Gustus, who had placed the kohl aside and was now holding an obscenely large, silver goblet toward the Heda.

Gustus must’ve sensed that Lexa was serving as intimidation during the interrogation, because he made sure never to obstruct Clarke and the prisoner’s view of the vampire. Lexa accepted the dagger – her dagger – from Gustus and as one, every single Grounder fell to the earth, pressing their faces almost to the sand.

The Mountain Man looked like he was about to wet his pants. Probably for a second time, judging by the smell of him.

Clarke watched as Lexa brought her arm over the cup and deeply cut into her wrist with the knife. Her blood flowed freely into the goblet and Clarke tried her best not to react by rushing forward and demanding she stop.

But clearly there was a reason for all of this, right? Gustus wouldn’t let Lexa do anything stupid.

The Heda moved her arm away, fierce eyes still intent on the Mountain Man, while Gustus walked over to where Abby stood over the only Grounders not on their knees: the injured who were busy dying or too hurt to even move. Clarke and the prisoner’s eyes intently followed Gustus and both gaped when he knelt down and made the first patient _drink_.

Clarke’s eyes flashed to her mother’s, who was already looking at her in question. Clarke just shrugged that she wasn’t sure what was going on, but shook her head to stop Abby from saying and doing anything about it. She turned her gaze to the kneeling Grounders then, some were shaking – crying? – as they stared in wonder at Gustus sharing the Heda’s blood.

Gustus slowly made his way amongst them, having already gone to refill the goblet a second time. And it was the patient who had drank the Heda’s blood third, who moved first. The one with only a sprained ankle and a few gashes over his torso, another most notably had been across his temple.  He stumbled away from the others and immediately fell to his knees.

Even from where she stood, Clarke could see that his injuries had miraculously healed.

“ _Mochof, Heda_!” The man cried out and pressed his nose to the ground to take up his position.

Clarke planted her feet, not sure whether she wanted to run toward Gustus and see what was happening over there, or toward Lexa to – to - Clarke wasn’t sure what she wanted to do once she got to Lexa, but her blood could _heal_?

Clarke focused back on the prisoner who looked like he had seen a goddess descended from the heavens, while Lexa still stood darkly glaring at him as though she was a demon, ascended from the deepest pits of hell.

“How are you able to be outside of Mount Weather without a hazmat suit?” Clarke asked him again, as another worshipping shout of ‘ _Mochof, Heda_ ’ filled the air and Gustus returned to refill the goblet.

“They changed the treatments.” He answered in a daze, like a man who had been left stunned by an apparition.

“How?”

“Bone marrow, instead of blood.” He mechanically replied.

Clarke looked over to her mother, wanting her opinion on this, but Abby was busy helping the patients who still weren’t fully healed to their feet and then summarily to their knees. They seemed adamant to be there. Gustus was holding up the goblet again as Lexa made another cut. A new cut, Clarke noticed, as only traces of drying blood had remained on her skin where the previous cuts had once been.

With difficulty, Clarke focused back on the man. The Grounders had been milked dry for their blood and discarded like garbage. Clarke had read in her mother’s books that bone marrow could be extracted without it being fatal and that it was extremely painful. Of course a blood transfusion didn’t have to be fatal either.

All these years, the Mountain Men hadn’t _needed_ to kill anyone, but they did.

“Are you killing them for it?” Clarke asked. It didn’t matter if they were using her people or the Grounders anymore. They were all in this together now.

“Cage needed to, or she would’ve told her friends and they would’ve become suspicious.”

Clarke’s heart lurched painfully. He was using the Arkers for the bone marrow or Cage wouldn’t have been worried about what the donor told who back in her cage. Their DNA was probably more resilient than the Grounders. They’d been genetically modified to withstand high doses of radiation.

Cage had started killing her people… Clarke’s eyes flitted over to Bellamy who had been intently listening, teeth gritted and a dark scowl clouding his features. Clarke _knew_ that look.

But thankfully Bellamy remained silent.

“Why did you attack the village today?”

“We noticed the gathering.” Came the easy explanation. “Some of the Grounders had been identified as leaders of their people. Since our people will be able to leave the Mountain soon, we wanted to make sure that we’d be safe. That the Grounders would know better than to attack us. We wanted to send a message… We didn’t know about…” He trailed off, eyes wide on Lexa again.

Lexa had told Clarke about the numerous cameras around Mount Weather. Cameras she avidly and skillfully avoided. Cameras they would take out as soon as the acid fog was down and they marched on the Mountain Men.

“Did you see the army?” Clarke asked, not scared to share information, she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this man would be dead soon. No matter what he said or did now.

He most likely knew this too.

“What army?”

Clarke didn’t answer him. That was all she needed to know. The Wallace’s might know about Lexa now, but they still had no clue about the massive army Lexa was hiding from them nor that they were planning to sneak into the Mountain very soon.

_Fuck!_

If they were using the Arkers’ bone marrow, they wouldn’t _need_ to take Grounders from the Reapers and Bellamy and Lincoln’s plan had just become moot.

 _Fucking, fuck_ , _fuck!_

Gustus turned from yet another trip to the Heda’s side, but instead of taking the blood to the people, he started toward the prisoner. Goblet in one hand, knife in the other. Clarke looked to the patients, most were on their knees, others still unconscious, but by the way Abby was curiously staring at them, Clarke figured that they were slowly healing too.

_Lexa really was an angel.  A goddess._

“Jus drein, jus daun! Jus drein, jus daun!”

The chanting started up and the Grounders rose from their knees. Indra, – rigid in her fury – walked up and took the knife from Gustus viciously making the first cut across the unsuspecting Mountain Man’s torso, who screamed out in agony.

The Chief then handed the blade to Clarke.

After slowly accepting the weapon, Clarke stared at it for a long moment, eyes going to Lexa, who for once was looking at her and not the prisoner. Clarke knew she didn’t have to do it; she could feel her mother, Octavia and Bellamy’s stares burning into her skin. But they’d all been attacked that night. Byrne was dead. Two Ark guards were dead. Another two had thankfully just been healed. They were really in this together now, Clarke thought, and sliced the blade across the Mountain Man’s arm, then handed the knife to the next Grounder.

After about twelve or fourteen cuts, Gustus stepped forward and forced the Heda’s blood down the prisoner’s throat.

_Death by a Thousand Cuts._

It felt like the man could’ve gotten as many that day, as after the families of the deceased had had their turn, the rest of the village lined up too. Even the newly healed patients, some aided, others walking invigorated and determined. And every few minutes, Gustus would just heal the prisoner so he could remain awake and suffer his punishment.

Clarke wanted to feel sorry for him. Some part of her did. So much so that she took a few steps back, his anguished screams giving her a headache and making her feel nauseous. But the people had been _broken_ by the attack. Just one missile and an entire village had almost been wiped out. It was a necessary evil, Clarke thought, as she watched their confidence return; their faith that they actually stood a chance against the Mountain with the Heda on their side. With the plan blown to hell, keeping their army motivated was all that mattered now.

Then the Heda moved forward, and Clarke noticed that the cutting had finally stopped. The man was covered in his own blood, his uniform hung off him in tatters, yet his eyes were alert and terrified at the approaching vampire.

“ _Heda… Heda… Heda…_ ” The low groaning chant started up.

Clarke intently watched the prowling, her brow furrowing at Lexa’s pale pallor.

 _How much blood had Lexa given? How many of those large goblets? Five?_ Clarke had been distracted with getting the prisoner to talk. She should’ve paid more attention, Clarke scolded herself, as she kept a close eye on the Heda’s blanched face.

“ _Heda… Heda… Heda…”_

Those wings pulled back and Lexa didn’t say a word before she stumbled on her last step, pushed the Mountain Man’s head to the side and savagely sunk her fangs into him. He let out a pained cry which disturbingly tapered off into a loud moan... Lexa stayed there for a long time, Clarke growing increasingly uncomfortable at the way the Heda closely cradled the man’s body; pushing herself flush against him, lowly purring a garbled sound of unadulterated pleasure.

This was different than it had been with Quint. Quint had been bitten almost as a formality. Lexa hadn’t _fed_ on Quint… But after the amount of blood she’d just given, Clarke speculated that this man was being fed on to replenish the weakened Heda.

She watched as Lexa’s throat bobbed with each hungry gulp. Blood trailing down the side of her mouth and flooding down the – now unconscious - prisoner’s neck and torso. When Lexa finally wrenched her head away, her cheeks were flushed and her dark eyes dangerously sparkled. She didn’t bother wiping the blood covering her mouth – actually most of the lower part of her face - and dripping down her chin.   

Despite the frightening sight, Clarke was relieved that Lexa no longer looked like she would pass out at any second.

“Indra...” Lexa rasped, licking at her lips, her voice laced with arousal, a low purr still emanating from deep within her chest and settling right between Clarke’s thighs.

The air around them seemed to have grown thicker, charged with a curious, electric, energy. Clarke knew she wasn’t the only one feeling it as the Grounders all unabashedly stared at their Heda. Clarke stood close to Gustus, a couple of yards away and to Lexa’s side, and watched Indra tentatively move forward, stopping her usual distance away.

“ _Closer_ , Indra.” Lexa purred, visibly scenting in the direction of the stunned Chief.

Indra obediently shuffled closer, despite her clear trepidation. Lexa remained rooted in place, sinisterly coaxing Indra toward her with shining obsidian eyes, and lips pulled into a menacing smirk.

When Indra was an arm’s length away, Lexa lifted a hand and the Chief of Ton DC froze. The Heda’s hand continued unperturbed though and then gently cupped Indra’s chin. Lexa continued her purposeful scenting, her deep purr vibrating and spreading throughout Clarke’s body.

“ _Leksa_ …” Gustus warned under his breath, so softly that Clarke just barely heard him. But Lexa clearly had, as she slightly tilted her head in his general direction, eyes still trained on the warrior in front of her. She then let out a low, throaty, chuckle that sent a delicious shiver down Clarke’s spine, before letting go of Indra.

“Burn the _branwoda_ with the dead.” Lexa sensually commanded. Indra’s eyes were hooded as she stared back and dazedly nodded. “Send out scouts as far as three miles for any other _Maunon_ who dare attack us again.”

“ _Sha, Heda_.” Indra murmured, licked her lips and rocked slightly forward as though she wanted to be closer but needing to hear the command to do so first.

Lexa smirked salaciously at the display.

“Gather my people and relocate them to where my army waits. They will be safe there.”

“ _Sha, Heda_.” Indra all but whispered, finally – seemingly subconsciously - taking a step closer. It was eerie to watch the usually unflappable woman acting this way.

Now only inches apart, the Heda ducked her head and inhaled deeply, nose almost pressed to Indra’s jaw, causing the warrior woman to visibly shudder, her eyes fluttering closed. She tilted her head to the side and offered her throat to the vampire.

“That will be all, Indra.” Lexa purred into Indra’s neck, smirking as Indra seemed to gather herself only to stumble backward and instantly fall onto her knees.

“ _Sha, Heda_.” Indra shakily called out, breathing heavily, her demeanor apologetic as though it hadn’t been Lexa teasing her closer.

Lexa barely acknowledged her, before she turned around and pinned Clarke with a smouldering stare that shot a bolt of arousal straight through the unsuspecting blonde.

 _Indra had been trying to resist_ that? Clarke’s respect for the stoic Chief increased tenfold.

The Heda’s eyes fluttered as she scented in Clarke’s direction. The blonde bit her lip as the purring rumbled even louder than before and Lexa slowly started stalking toward her as though Clarke had just become the center of her universe.

“Well, this is new…” Gustus muttered next to Clarke, also intently watching the Heda’s approach.

Lexa was a lot more brazen with her proximity as she almost moulded herself to Clarke, lightly bumping their noses together. Clarke stood frozen in place, unsure as to what the fuck to do about the clearly horny Heda. Admittedly, Clarke had been a little jealous at the attention Indra had received. But Lexa needed to give Indra instruction. And where Indra had been coaxed nearer while the vampire loomed over her, Lexa had gravitated toward Clarke, instead of commanding the blonde closer.

“I want to taste you, Klark.” Lexa breathed over Clarke’s lips and were it not for the fact that Clarke wasn’t entirely sure whether Lexa was referring to her blood or other bodily fluids, Clarke would’ve given herself right then and there, even while she could taste the scent of copper on Lexa’s lips and with knowing that Abby was probably being traumatised by the clearly intimate scene already.

“Do not forget yourself, _Leksa_.” Gustus lowly warned and Clarke wondered what would be so bad about Lexa forgetting herself. The Heda looked like she had a whole list of things she wanted to do to Clarke and Clarke was ready to answer with a loud resounding _yes_ , to any and all of them.

Lexa’s lips pulled into a menacing sneer, a warning growl rumbling in her chest, eyes hardening as her gaze slowly turned to Gustus, who seemed to only stand taller where others would’ve fallen to their knees.

“Do you wish to hurt, Klark?” Gustus asked, apparently hitting Lexa in just the right spot and the threatening growl abruptly ceased at the question.

Lexa’s jaw clenched and she seemed to forcibly remove herself from Clarke’s space. She then walked over and purposely bumped her shoulder into Gustus’s chest and affectionately pressed herself against him with a deep purr – of presumable gratitude and apology – before she sauntered off in the direction of her tent.

“Stay, _Strik Alehan_.” Gustus’s baritone commanded and Clarke only then became aware that she’d taken a step to follow after those hypnotically swaying hips.

* * *

 


	13. Chapter 13

Ton DC sprang into action, prompted by a recovered Indra enforcing the Heda’s commands.

Lexa’s departure also gave Clarke the opportunity to get her brain working properly again. The vampire’s behaviour after feeding on the Mountain Man had been vexing, to say the least. Even the Grounders had seemed surprised by it and Gustus had mentioned that Lexa hadn’t acted that particular way before...

“Will she be okay?” Clarke worriedly asked Gustus, who looked as deep in thought as Clarke had just been.

What if Lexa flew off to go and ‘daze’ some of the other villages in the Coalition? The vampire seemed to have enjoyed the control she had exerted over Indra way too much. Not that Lexa hadn’t had power over her people before. This time round though, it seemed as though the Heda actually relished in it. And Clarke might not have known Lexa long, but she knew that Lexa didn’t get off on subjugating her people. Most of the time, the vampire seemed quite happy to ignore them entirely.

“She is not used to drinking so much...” Gustus answered, looking perturbed, which only increased Clarke’s concern and she anxiously stared in the direction Lexa had gone. “Usually she takes only a small amount from me.” He confessed and when Clarke’s eyes snapped up, wide in surprise, Gustus tiredly sighed, clearly not having meant to confess that. “ _Leksa_ and I… we have a…” He trailed off frowning. “What is the word she used again… Ah, a symbiosis!” He exclaimed and Clarke smiled at how similar he looked to Lexa when she found a word she’d been looking for. “ _Leksa_ feeds from me every few days and in turn, she gives me her blood to replenish me after I am weakened at the loss. Over the years we’ve noticed that even though I am susceptible to injury and do not heal like she does, I have grown stronger, faster and I no longer age.”

Clarke gaped. “Why doesn’t she help everyone then?”

Gustus snorted in disgust.

“Remember what I had told you about when _Leksa_ first become Heda?”

Clarke nodded.

“Back then, she had freely shared her blood with the people. They would come to her with scrapes that would have healed on their own. They would demand to constantly feel as strong and fast as her blood made them. You see, though the healing is permanent, the other effects are not. _Leksa_ was asked to constantly give to them, and she had. And when she was too weak to give more, her instincts took over. She would become dangerous, so she tried to give less at a time. The people started rebelling and would not wait. They were greedy, selfish, lazy. They fought each other for a turn, some even killed to ensure there would be more for them.” He sneered. “ _Leksa_ wanted the human population to grow strong again after the bombs. So she hunted for them and she helped build their villages. She was doing most of the work. Hungry for their love, for their acceptance, for them to stop seeing her as a monster” Gustus growled out angrily. “But all they saw was how different she was. How because of that, she owed them her servitude. Finally, I was able to convince her that the blood shed by the Others during the war, was not her burden to bear. The people needed to learn to survive on their own. To become strong on their own.”

Clarke nodded, her heart aching as she thought about what it must have been like for Lexa to give so much and for her people to still treat her like an outcast. This was why Lexa had feared Clarke’s reaction after she’d killed Quint; after she’d bitten down on Clarke’s jacket... Lexa thought that Clarke would reject her and see her as a monster just like her people had done.

Anger flared in Clarke’s chest and she felt the need to shout at the people around her, but realised in time that these weren’t the same people. No, these people were paying for the sins of their forefathers. They could have known the Lexa who Clarke and Gustus were so fortunate to know. They could’ve had so much. Now the Heda kept a massive wall in between her and them. Not because she felt that she was better, but because Lexa was afraid that they would hurt her again. That if she showed any ‘weakness’, they would take advantage and make her feel like nothing more than an ‘abomination’.

Yes, it was unfair, maybe Lexa’s people would be different now. Maybe it wasn’t everyone that would treat her that way… Or maybe they would treat her exactly the same. Clarke wasn’t sure she wanted Lexa to take that risk. Lexa made sure there was peace, and she made sure that her people were safe and that they thrived. Lexa hadn’t needed to save anyone that day, but she had, and she had done it on her own terms, not because it had been expected of her.

“The times that she’d taken so much blood like today, she had become… aggressive.” Gustus continued on. “She would often hunt for even more blood then, but she never hurt me and I had always been able to bring her back. I’m not sure why she is acting this way now though. She’d been somewhat aggressive, but…” Gustus trailed off, brows furrowed deep in thought until he turned a hardened glare onto Clarke, who instinctively took a step back.

“You have taken her _innocence_.” He lowly growled and Clarke backed up some more, lifting her hands in supplication when he menacingly stalked forward.

Apparently Lexa hadn’t had that chat with Gustus yet…

“I didn’t _take_ anything! Don’t make it sound like that. I didn’t force her to do anything, Gustus, I swear.” Clarke desperately pleaded. “We made love, okay. It was beautiful and she gave her consent... I asked her and she said she wanted it too. I didn’t _take_ anything.” She frantically reasserted, wondering whether Gustus would snap her in half now.

Gustus halted mid-step and his lips pursed, before he let out a sharp breath through his nose and his broad shoulders slumped.

“I apologise.” He grumbled and Clarke relaxed a little, still not trusting that she was safe from Gustus’s overprotective wrath. “I don’t want her hurting again.” He admitted so resignedly that it brought a knot to Clarke’s throat.

“I won’t hurt Lexa.” Clarke sincerely vowed. “I promise.”

Gustus nodded, part of him looked like he desperately wanted to believe her, another part still suspiciously cautious. Clarke figured that it was the recollection of when Lexa’s people had used her as their personal slave and blood supply that had triggered Gustus’s defences.

“Give her some time to calm and then go to her.” Gustus stoically instructed.

Clarke nodded relieved, taking the command as Gustus’s way of giving his blessing.

“Organise your people. Those you wish to send back to your camp and those who will be joining the army.”

* * *

 

Clarke didn’t have many people to organize, but she tasked them to help with packing up Ton DC. Abby was determined to travel with the injured, Clarke guessed that her mother wanted to see whether Lexa’s miracle cure was a fluke or not.

“Pheromones…” Abby distractedly murmured after placing her medical supplies back in her bag. “It has to be… For a brief moment I was drawn to her, like she would keep me safe. Even as I felt it, I still knew it wasn’t natural… Though it had been a conscious effort to stop myself from going closer…” Her mother frowned and looked to Clarke. “The air had smelled like your father used to…” She rasped and thickly swallowed, sending Clarke a weak smile. “What did you smell?”

Clarke nervously worried at her lip before answering. “I didn’t smell anything…” At least not until Lexa had pressed up against her. Then Clarke had only smelled that familiar scent of forest.

Clarke didn’t feel that her physical reaction to Lexa had been the result of possible pheromones. It was just how she usually responded to Lexa; severely heightened by the sight of the Heda’s overt sexual interest.

Abby watched her intently for a moment, and Clarke felt her cheeks heating under the scrutiny. Lexa didn’t need to douse her in pheromones for Clarke to be completely entranced by the vampire. And Clarke suspected that whatever amounts Lexa may have dispersed that day, had been involuntary and uncontrolled. Gustus had said that it had never happened before, which did explain both Indra and Lexa’s weird behaviour.

“Octavia smelled the metal of her sword when she sharpens it on a whetstone.” Abby lightly laughed, thankfully not pushing more on Clarke’s lack of vampire-induced olfactory stimulation.

Clarke suspected that Lexa sheltering them both from the missile had gone a long way in winning her mother over.

“Lincoln mentioned a field of flowers outside of Ton DC that he used to frequent as a boy…” Abby continued on. “…The Heda really is a magnificent creature... I wonder if she’d give me a sample of her blood…” Her mother commented in that inquisitive scientist-wanting-to-do-experiments way she had, most likely expecting Clarke to ask Lexa for this blood sample.

“She’s a woman with feelings, not an experiment for you to poke and prod at.” Clarke snapped before she could stop herself.

Abby’s discerning gaze lingered on her without any judgment, yet Clarke still lifted her chin in defiance. Maybe Lexa didn’t need physical protection, but Clarke could certainly protect her from such an inquisition that would only be perceived as people wanting things from Lexa again. Things they had _no_ right to want. Clarke knew that her mom meant well, but no, using Lexa for ‘medical advancement’, no matter how beneficial it might be for humankind, would happen over Clarke’s dead body.

“Of course.” Abby murmured, for once saying nothing more on a subject they disagreed on.

Or maybe Abby understood…

Clarke sent her mother off with the remaining four Ark guards to keep an eye on Abby. Nyko would also be there and Clarke knew that he and Abby had become friends. Gustus and Lincoln had also both vouched for Nyko, so he was good in Clarke’s books. Abby in turn didn’t seem that worried about leaving Clarke behind, and Clarke realised that her mother must trust Lexa to protect her.

The lack of a lecture had Clarke hugging her mother that much longer and closer. Abby’s eyes were watery as she pulled away, whispering a soft ‘I love you’ into Clarke’s hair, before kissing her on her head.

“I love you too, Mom.” Clarke easily rasped back and watched her mother go off with the first group of people.

* * *

Bellamy had disappeared, but Clarke doubted he’d go back to camp Jaha or to the army. So she instructed Octavia and Lincoln to find him from wherever he was sulking, so that they could discuss how the fuck they were going to get into the Mountain now. The couple had already volunteered their services to Indra’s scouting party that would be positioned in various locations around Ton DC in case Cage tried to get eyes on them again.

With that settled, after the mass funeral service and goodbye to her mother, Clarke sucked in a breath and headed toward the Dark Tent, ignoring Gustus’s shrewd gaze on her, from where he was securing a heap of supplies to a cart surrounded by an admiring crowd of women pretending to need help.

Clarke was deep in thought while she pondered how they would get into the Mountain to disable the acid fog. They could still follow the plan, maybe dress Bellamy up so that he looked noticeably Skaikru, prompting the Mountain Men to come out into the ambush in hopes of gaining more bone marrow to harvest. It only added additional risk to an already dangerous plan, but it _could_ work. But Plan A at least had the option of Bellamy and Lincoln being captured and taken to the cages if they failed; allowing them time and opportunity to escape. If Plan B were to fail, however, both would be killed immediately. Lincoln, because he had no use to the Mountain Men and Bellamy, for his bone marrow.

Clarke was a few yards away when she swallowed down the scream that almost escaped when Bellamy jumped out of the bushes and into her path.

“I knew it!” He exclaimed, smiling broadly in a way he hadn’t for a long time.

Clarke’s brows scrunched together in confusion.

“I saw what she did to Indra.” Bellamy explained, and Clarke wasn’t aware what exactly had been done to Indra or who had done it. “She has some sort of a hold on people, Clarke!” He grinned. “I’d been drawn in too… She smelled familiar... I think it felt like how my mother used to smell… It made me feel hazy… And it makes so much sense now! I knew this wasn’t you. That you wouldn’t betray us like this.”

Clarke realised that everyone had smelled something different and described being hazy, yet still in control of their faculties. As though Lexa’s pheromones only served to soothe them more so than actively brainwash them… She briefly wondered what Indra had smelled but decided that asking the Chief would be futile. The combination of pheromones and lifelong veneration for her Heda, had left poor Indra putty in the Heda’s hands. There was no way that Indra would ever willingly discuss that experience with anyone, let alone Clarke.

On a biological level, the need to calm the prey you’re hunting did make sense… It would also slow down the heartrate, because the faster the heart pumped in fear, the more blood would be wasted from the bleeding wound… And since Lexa had been predominately feeding from Gustus for decades, she had no real need of pheromones before. Like Gustus had theorised, Lexa’s recent sexual awakening could have definitely triggered the unexpected manifestation and the vampire’s subsequently _carnal_ behaviour thereafter…

Clarke barely registered Bellamy hugging her while she organized her thoughts and the information she’d gathered earlier. Lexa’s scent had always had a soothing effect on Clarke, right from the start. Clarke had always been attracted to it, but it had never made her feel ‘hazy’. Well not hazy in the way that the others meant. And it was more the scent in conjunction with every other aspect of the beautiful vampire that left Clarke deliriously dazed at times.

Gustus hadn’t mentioned Lexa smelling different, and Clarke didn’t have the balls to actually ask what Lexa usually smelled like to him. Clarke would get Lexa to ask him later though, certain that the vampire would want to better understand this even more so than Clarke did.

She remembered that it had felt like an almost tangible shift in the air when Lexa had finished feeding on the Mountain Man; thick and electric. That surely meant that Lexa hadn’t subconsciously been using her pheromones before, or Clarke would’ve definitely noticed; like everyone else seemed to have noticed the effects on themselves that day.

Clarke released a breath of relief that what she felt for Lexa was very much real and Bellamy finally released her from the one sided hug and tenderly took hold of Clarke’s upper arms, making sure she would look at him.

“We’ll figure something out, okay?” He promised so sincerely that Clarke felt the growing indignation at his presumptions leave her.

Knowing Bellamy, Clarke anticipated that even if she were to explain how she knew she wasn’t under some sort of thrall, the stubborn man wouldn’t believe her. But Clarke had to at least try.

“Bell –

Her attempt at an explanation was cut short by a visceral growl that had Clarke’s blood freezing in her veins. Instinctually and stupidly, Bellamy pulled Clarke closer to him at the sound. She tried to get away from him, but Bellamy just tightly held onto Clarke while he boldly glared at the Heda standing outside of her tent.

“Bell, you need to let go.” Clarke urgently whispered, trying not to sound too distressed in his grip, because Lexa was going to kill him and he just wasn’t getting why that was.

Finally, Clarke managed to shove Bellamy away and turned to see Lexa’s brilliant wings spread skywards, eyes inky black, fangs hostilely bared and chest wildly rumbling. The only way the vampire could’ve possibly looked more intimating, was if she hadn’t changed her clothes and the blood and kohl hadn’t been washed off of her face.

Clarke moved to place herself in between the irate vampire and her dumb fucking friend.

The Heda’s powerful frame was wound tight like a cobra’s, readying to strike. Her dark eyes never left Bellamy, who must’ve finally sensed the danger he was in because he thankfully kept his mouth shut.

Bellamy was going to die. Clarke was sure of it. So Clarke did the only thing she could do: she swiftly spun around and swung her fist right at Bellamy’s face.

Having been entirely focused on the seething vampire, he never saw it coming and tripped over a rock, falling to the ground, eyes wide with hurt and confusion.

“Leave.” Clarke snarled, her anger at him for constantly putting himself in danger, constantly forcing her to choose between him and Lexa, flaring hot. “ _Now_.” She intently emphasized, hoping that he would see why she was pissed off and that she was still fucking protecting him.

Clarke saw the exact moment that Bellamy understood that Clarke was with Lexa of her own free will. That Clarke knew _exactly_ what Lexa was and that it didn’t matter to her, because Bellamy’s face fell, before his mouth settled into a hard line.

He awkwardly scrambled to his feet - not bothering to look at the irate predator still menacingly growling, or at Clarke, irritated and glaring - and walked back toward the village.

Taking a deep fortifying breath, Clarke turned to the still bristling Heda.

Lexa’s fists were clenched at her sides and she was still watching Bellamy’s retreating form like a hawk. No… Bell was most definitely still in danger.

“Lexa…” Clarke whispered. Another loud rumble left the vampire’s chest, her jaw unhinged to bare a pair of sharp, glistening fangs; harshly hissing, even as pitch black eyes never left her prey.

_Where the fuck was Gustus when you needed him?_

Clarke slowly walked forward, attempting to get into Lexa’s line of sight.

When she reached the Heda, Lexa seemed taller than ever, and Clarke had to tilt her head up to try and make eye contact. She then gently placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder, while the other tentatively reached out to rub at the vampire’s rumbling belly.

_This better fucking work, Gustus._

“ _Leksa_ …” Clarke called again, because the Heda was still not acknowledging that Clarke even existed.

Another growl rumbled, this time, thankfully, lacking the same amount of ferocity. Lexa remained tightly coiled though, abdominal muscles rippling and vibrating beneath Clarke’s soothing touch, and then that dark gaze finally shifted to pierce directly into Clarke’s eyes.

“He should not touch you like that.” Lexa seethed, fists still clenched at her sides, chest visibly straining with suppressed rage.

Clarke swallowed thickly and tentatively wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck.

Maybe the vampire was still high on the Mountain Man’s blood? Gustus had said that she tended to become more aggressive… And it wasn’t as though Lexa needed anything more to want to rip Bellamy’s head off.

“No, he shouldn’t and he won’t again.” Clarke resolutely agreed and the growling slowly faded, to be replaced with a deep, threatening purr. It was the one Clarke recognized from when the Heda had stalked Finn, Quint, as well as the Mountain Man earlier.

_Predatory._

Lexa was focused entirely on her though… So Clarke wasn’t sure what it meant, but she was sure that Lexa wouldn’t hurt her. Maybe she was being foolish, but somehow Clarke just knew this to be fact.

She slid a hand down a well-toned arm and wrapped her fingers around Lexa’s wrist, above a still clenching fist.

“Let’s go inside, Lexa.” Clarke softly murmured, wanting to get Lexa away from remembering where Bellamy had walked to.

She smiled to herself when the Heda easily followed her into the dim light of the tent. But they were only a few feet in, when Lexa halted and Clarke didn’t even bother trying to make her move further than that. Instead, Clarke turned to the still prickling Heda, meeting her penetrating black stare unflinchingly.

“You are not _his_ to touch.” Lexa snarled, her lips curling back in distaste, revealing her fangs again, and finally Clarke fucking got it.

Lexa hadn’t said it, but her entire body was screaming it. ‘ _You are mine’_ those black eyes asserted, the declaration backed up by the proud stance: rigid back, puffed out chest, wings slightly drawn back like a hawk closing in on its prey. Lexa was practically radiating with raw power as she preened for Clarke. Challenging Clarke to deny her claim. Daring Clarke to make Lexa prove it to her.

It was the hottest thing Clarke Griffin had ever seen in her life.

Clarke’s confidence returned, and she stepped closer and pressed herself into Lexa’s steely frame. The Heda didn’t move a muscle, but her lips were soft and pliant when Clarke kissed her and wrapped her arms around a pair of tight shoulders. It was like trying to make out with a tree trunk. A still ominously purring tree trunk, with deliciously minty lips.

Finally, Lexa’s arms enveloped Clarke, but she maintained her taut posture and Clarke could feel it when Lexa took control of the kiss; of Clarke’s body in her arms. Her movements were measured and meticulous and Clarke could do nothing but melt into her.  

Mindlessly, Clarke kissed into Lexa’s neck, so lost in her own arousal, it took a while for her to realise that Lexa didn’t even falter, but seemed to only stand taller where before she’d buckled and submitted at the action.

Clarke dazedly looked up into an intense obsidian stare and painfully _throbbed_ at the look in the vampire’s eyes. Lexa kept her chin up, staring down at Clarke through her thick lashes, wings still drawn back, posture rigid and proud. _I am Heda_ , Clarke heard Lexa’s body fervidly roar, and hungrily kissed the vampire again.

Her fingers clumsily moved in a lustful haze as Clarke tried to undo the buckles on the Heda’s leather vest. Seemingly impatient with Clarke’s progress, Lexa just ripped the garment off her body, before reaching down and doing the same with her tight leather pants. Clarke moaned when Lexa stood in only a pair of boots, lean muscles stunningly twitching while she maintained her dominant stance.

A whimper left Clarke’s throat when Lexa’s hand confidently moved behind her neck, threading long, slender, fingers into the hair at Clarke’s nape.  

“You are not _his_.” Lexa reiterated with a snarl, her fingers tightening in blonde hair, before she firmly pulled Clarke onto her lips and invaded Clarke’s mouth with her tongue...

Clarke was a goner.

She never thought of herself as someone kinky; that she would ever be into these kinds of power-plays. But Clarke was already soaked right through her pants and this wasn’t exactly a game or an act, was it? This was Lexa’s instincts taking over. Lexa claiming Clarke as her own, and it made the blonde shudder when she felt that firm yet still gentle hand in her hair, guiding her down to Lexa’s chest.

Clarke shamelessly lavished Lexa’s breasts with attention. Eagerly suckling a straining nipple into her mouth, hands keenly wandering over a lean torso. Clarke relished in the tiny growls she was causing, and then almost instantly climaxed when Lexa urged her head _lower;_ down a long, toned, stomach…

Clarke whimpered and licked her way down the Heda’s abs till she was on her knees and level with Lexa’s crotch. Her head was then tugged backwards and Clarke looked up into Lexa’s eyes, pitch black and piercing.

The Heda didn’t say anything, but her light grip kept Clarke away from her prize. God, Clarke just wanted to taste Lexa already and wasn’t sure why it wasn’t happening yet. But through the heady cloud of arousal, Clarke remembered what this was all about and smirked.

“ _Ai laik yun, Leksa_.” Clarke hoarsely whispered, confessed, vowed. Because really, was there any way she could even deny it at this point?

The vampire finally urged her head forward and Clarke greedily ran her tongue through Lexa’s slick, velvety folds, groaning at the delicious taste and moaning when the Heda loudly growled in pleasure.

* * *

 

Clarke wasn’t sure how they had ended up in their current position.

One moment her face had been blissfully buried at the apex of Lexa’s legs, the Heda’s awareness of Clarke’s physical responses made apparent again, when each twitch of Lexa’s fingers in Clarke’ hair, was almost perfectly in sync with every aching throb that pulsed between Clarke’s thighs.

The next, Clarke was upright and Lexa’s hand possessively cupped where Clarke needed her most. Lexa’s other hand held onto Clarke’s shoulder, keeping Clarke at bay, as the blonde bucked into the palm between her legs, and mindlessly – uselessly - attempted to close the distance to Lexa’s mouth. The vampire teased her mercilessly, hot breath tickling Clarke’s lips, only a hair’s breath away, as Lexa kept her hand moving tantalizingly slow and doing nothing else.

“Lexa...” Clarke whined in need, and Lexa finally kissed her again, until Clarke felt dizzy and her hammering heart could be heard and felt throughout her feverish body.

The vampire then proceeded to slowly and very literally, _tear_ Clarke’s clothes off of her body. It was as though Lexa was lazily shredding up a piece of paper. Not once did the material even pull at Clarke’s skin, demonstrating Lexa’s strength and control in a way that left Clarke a wet, quivering, mess, by the time her clothes lay in tatters at their feet.

Before Clarke could throw herself at Lexa, she was slickly lifted up and then pressed down onto her back in the bed of furs. Lexa smoothly lowered her body between Clarke’s thighs, kissing her slowly and deeply and softly growled against Clarke’s mouth when their wet centres soundly slid together.

Clarke groaned at the feeling, and wrapped her legs around Lexa’s hips, bucking up against her, in an attempt to feel more. She tangled a hand into Lexa’s hair, holding her close as the vampire pressed her face into Clarke’s breasts, gently nipping at the tender flesh, while she mindlessly ground herself against Clarke.

* * *

 

Clarke couldn’t control her pitiful mewling if she tried. Lexa’s body grinding against her, was slowly driving Clarke insane… But then, faster than she could recognize what was happening, Clarke found herself flipped over onto her hands and knees, Lexa positioned behind her, their thighs perfectly lined up together…

And just _no_. Clarke did so not sign up for _this_ shit.

“Don’t you think we need a safe-word or something?” Clarke joked with a nervous chuckle, not sure what exactly Lexa was planning on doing to her in the new position...

She then looked over her shoulder to tell Lexa that she really wasn’t into anal and that it was something that should really be discussed beforehand, but summarily let out a lewd moan, clenched her eyes shut and looked forward again, trying to not lose herself completely. Because Lexa had started sensually rolling her hips the instant Clarke had glanced back, somehow managing to create just enough friction to slowly torture Clarke, yet it was still not enough to ever get her anywhere.

But what had gotten Clarke the most though, was the image of the Heda, hands clasped at Clarke’s hips, strong arms keeping her in place. Wings spread wide and marvellously, as dark eyes possessively stared down at Clarke. The part that Clarke could still vividly see at the back of her lids, was the gentle contracting and release of Lexa’s long abdomen as the Heda shamelessly rutted against her.

Mercifully, Lexa reached a hand around Clarke’s ribs and eagerly cupped a breast.

Clarke whimpered pathetically, sinking down onto her elbows and dear _god_ , she hadn’t thought it would be possible, but the new position opened up her thighs and suddenly she could feel a whole lot more of Lexa’s wet heat rubbing against her.

Clarke moaned in pleasure and Lexa growled in answer, while they continued to desperately move against each other.

* * *

 

Breathing raggedly, Clarke rolled her ass into Lexa’s groin, straining to feel _more_. Every few seconds Clarke wished that Lexa would just use her fingers already.

The hand at her breast moved away and caringly brushed Clarke’s hair over one shoulder, before Lexa traced her fingers along Clarke’s nape and between her shoulder blades, causing shivers and goose bumps to spread down the blonde’s spine.

The intimacy and tenderness of the act only served to increase Clarke’s need.

Desperate, Clarke braced herself on one elbow, and lifted a hand, moving it toward the apex of her thighs, trembling with excitement at the thought of touching herself the way Lexa refused to, only to have that hand carelessly swatted away, mere inches from its destination.

Clarke whined her disappointment and frustration, even as she continued to grind back into Lexa’s dogged thrusts. She pressed her forehead onto the hands in front of her, closed her eyes and prayed that Lexa knew enough about sex to know that this was teetering on the precipice between pleasure and torture.

Oh, who was she kidding? Lexa was a virgin up until the day before. One of the most innocent ones Clarke had ever come across. Clarke’s only hope would be to make Lexa come first and then hopefully one of them would take care of Clarke’s needs after that.

So Clarke spread her knees a little wider and lifted her tailbone, moaning when Lexa agilely dipped her hips and rubbed up against her. Clarke smirked when a growl answered her pleasure and felt Lexa’s fingers tighten on her hips.

Her own arousal continued to build as Clarke made sure to be as vocal as possible, knowing how much Lexa liked to hear her like it. And when Lexa’s hand finally dipped down her waist and slid between Clarke’s thighs, Clarke loudly cried out in pure bliss, as those dextrous fingers instantly drew tight, rhythmic, circles, _exactly_ where Clarke needed them to.

“Oh, thank fuck…” Clarke moaned into the furs as her body started moving of its own accord, quivering uncontrollably when she felt Lexa’s lips kissing up her spine.

Lexa’s growling grunts picked up with the pace of her rolling hips, as she stretched out an arm, bracing her hand next to Clarke’s elbow and moaned beautifully when she shaped herself across Clarke’s sweat slickened back. Clarke could feel Lexa’s orgasm building as her fingers rubbed faster and her hips lost all cadence.

“Come on, Gorgeous...” Clarke hoarsely coaxed, rolling her hips into Lexa’s groin, inadvertently triggering the start of her own orgasm, heating up the pressure at the base of her spine.

In answer, Lexa loudly growled that now familiar snarl of pleasure as her body jerked, and her fingers slipped down and deep into Clarke, followed almost instantly by a pair of sharp fangs piercing the spot where Clarke’s neck met her shoulder.

Clarke’s voice broke as she cried out in a heavenly mix of pain and pleasure.

She bucked forward into the strong hand cupping her sex and her body stiffened. Like a bolt of lightning, Clarke’s orgasm seemed to tear up her spine until it exploded in her head.

For just moment, both she and Lexa stilled, suspended in mutual pleasure; the vampire holding their bodies impossibly close, fangs impaled in Clarke’s neck. Clarke’s eyes rolled into the back of her head, her toes tightly curled while she gripped onto the furs; lips parted in a silent cry.

Clarke’s hips then jerked forward again, gasping out a long shuddering moan as she violently clenched onto Lexa’s fingers.

Lexa whimpered and whined around the bite, hips tremulously bucking against Clarke, before she seemed to forget to hold herself up and the vampire’s weight forced Clarke to collapse down onto her stomach.

Clarke felt boneless.

She couldn’t move. She didn’t want to move.

All she could do was breath in ragged breaths of air that seemed to only extend her pleasure and focus on Lexa’s body moulded to her back, fingers still awkwardly buried inside of Clarke and possessively cupping her sex. Clarke moaned when she felt Lexa remove her fangs, instantly replacing them with a gentle tongue, caringly licking over the wound.

Clarke smiled sleepily when Lexa’s body started to vibrate with that contented post coital purr. And it really wasn’t fair how sleepy the sound and tender thrumming of Lexa’s body made Clarke feel. The blonde hummed and rocked her hips into Lexa’s palm, smiling again when Lexa shuddered and bucked against Clarke’s ass, before she gently removed her fingers and started kissing up Clarke’s neck.

Clarke softly giggled when Lexa’s affectionate nuzzling tickled at her nape but abruptly stopped when the vampire’s body went rigid on top of her. A second later, Clarke could only feel cool air where smooth, warm, flesh had once been.

* * *

 

It took all Clarke had to find the energy to turn around, but eventually her concern and knowledge of why Lexa had disappeared from the intimate moment, had Clarke sitting up and softly gazing at the guilt-ridden vampire standing slumped at the foot of the bed, staring mournfully at the ground.

“You didn’t hurt me.” Clarke cut right to the chase. Yes, it had hurt for like a second, and was starting to lightly throb now because duh, it was a bruised puncture wound, but all in all, it wasn’t as painful as Clarke had expected it would be.

Intense green eyes, pupils still blown widely, shifted to stare incredulously at Clarke; as though the blonde had gone completely insane.

“Remember, I gave you permission.” Clarke gently reminded.

Of course she would’ve preferred a warning, and Clarke really should’ve stopped the whole thing when she noticed that Lexa was being driven by her instincts. But Clarke had liked it and wasn’t afraid of Lexa and she’d honest to god, never come so hard in her life. Even now, as she wanted to go to Lexa and pull her in for a hug, Clarke doubted that her legs wouldn’t give in the instant she tried to stand up.

“I should not have done that.” Lexa rasped and averted her gaze again. “You trusted me…”

Clarke’s jaw clenched and her eyes burned at how torn Lexa seemed at this perceived breaking of Clarke’s trust. If only everyone cared so much about betraying the people who trusted them...

The bite was at an awkward place, not noticeable to Clarke unless she used a mirror. And Clarke didn’t dare lift her hand to feel at the damage and call attention to it. She’d spent enough time with Lexa to know that the vampire was on the brink of hightailing it out of that tent and didn’t want to do anything that would add fire to Lexa’s guilt.

So Clarke focused as much as she could on the tenderness of the wound. If it was still bleeding, blood would’ve already been trickling down her chest. The wound radiated a sort of dull pain, that would definitely hurt more in a few hours, but overall, it wasn’t so bad. Just a cleaning every few hours, and it should heal on its own.

_Griffin Grin._

“It’s a superficial wound, Lexa.” Clarke murmured, smiling wider when Lexa sent her an irritated glare for daring to defend the act. “You were clearly in a whole other headspace, and guess what? This,” she pointed to the bite, “was the only damage you did. And it barely even hurts. And I really, _really_ liked it.” Clarke grinned and waggled her eyebrows.

Lexa still seemed dubious.

“Come here.” Clarke playfully commanded, tilting her head when Lexa remained unmoving. “Please, Gorgeous, you made me come so hard I can barely move, so the least you can do is come back here and hold me.”

Lexa seemed torn between her guilt and her want to be holding Clarke. After Clarke shifted lower to lay down on her back and opened her arms with a big grin, Lexa’s lips twitched as she fought her smile and slowly crawled onto the bed and up Clarke’s body.

When the vampire hesitated halfway up, Clarke shimmied down, until Lexa was hovering above her, and they were face to face. Clarke then wrapped her arms around Lexa’s back, tucking them in that warm place where Lexa’s wings met skin, and pulled the vampire closer, till their legs were entwined and Lexa was resting on her elbows.

“I could heal you…” Lexa husked, intently staring at Clarke’s bruised neck.

Clarke considered that for a moment. Given Lexa’s response to Clarke having her scent on her, she was very sure that Lexa would want her mark to remain on Clarke too. Especially, since it would be the first one ever.

So Clarke smiled and shook her head ‘no’. “I kinda like it.” She grinned. “It’s like a super-hickey.”

For a long moment, Lexa just earnestly stared at Clarke, as though she was attempting to read Clarke’s mind. Clarke obviously knew that that wasn’t possible, but she still ended up feeling completely naked under the intense study.

“I am yours too, Klark.” Lexa eventually murmured, her purring starting up again as though emphasizing the sincerity of the declaration.

Clarke warmly smiled, enjoying the way Lexa’s lips and nose lightly brushed across her face and into her neck. The vampire nuzzled their cheeks together before she dipped her head and lightly brushed her lips over the bite mark, purring deeper, yet remaining still so very careful as not to bruise Clarke any further.

 _Mine_ … Lexa’s hands and mouth tenderly branded into Clarke’s body.

“ _Ai Niron_ …” Lexa rasped as she kissed her way back up Clarke’s neck. “ _Ai Natshana_ …” She brushed her soft lips over Clarke’s jaw. “ _Ai Meizen Alehan_ ”. Lexa reverently breathed over Clarke’s lips and finally pressed their mouths together again.

_My Lover. My Moon. My Beautiful Alehan._

 

 

* * *

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

 

 

Clarke intently observed Lexa, leaning over the large table in the Engineering room at Camp Jaha.

The vampire had her back to Clarke as she diligently drew a map of her lands for Raven to convert into a small scale model similar to the one they had in Ton DC. Though, knowing Raven, it would probably be a lot more detailed and as close to scale as possible.

Clarke and Lexa had flown in just after sunrise to find the radio in working order and briefly discussed the feasibility of still sending Lincoln and Bellamy into Mount Weather. Both Lexa and Raven had agreed that it would be too dangerous and that they needed another plan. The Heda however, was more concerned about tipping Wallace off that they were planning an attack, more so than she was actually worried about Bellamy and Lincoln’s safety.

Clarke was supposed to be thinking off an alternative plan, but all her thoughts were centred on, was the image she’d seen that morning of Lexa’s naked form reclining on a rock at her waterfall, wings splayed magnificently as they soaked up the golden rays of the rising sun… Tiny droplets of water glittering against jet black feathers and smooth tanned flesh…

Clarke had unabashedly ogled her, while the Heda sundried after their bath together. It hadn’t helped the fogginess in Clarke’s brain at all, that Lexa had taken it upon herself to wash every inch of Clarke’s body, contentedly purring while she brushed light kisses across Clarke’s wet skin.

Clarke had never wished for her sketchbook as much as she’d done in that moment and had to resign herself to committing every glorious detail to memory.

Her fingers still itched about an hour later, there in the Engineering room, as the various sketches she had planned continued to flash through her mind. Only Lexa’s facial features changed each time: the first would be of Lexa, eyes closed, face serene, head tipped back and lips slightly tilted into a beatific smile. The second would be of green eyes noticing Clarke’s raptured staring, the faint pink blush tinting high cheekbones and Lexa’s lips coyly pulled to one side. And the last would be of Lexa’s eyes, dark and ravenous, lips pulled into a sensual smirk, when she realised the effect she was having on Clarke, idly sitting there in the water, having turned into a prune, but unable to do anything other than gawk in wonder.

Clarke was startled out of her thoughts by Raven’s hand brushing away the collar of her shirt. She’d completely forgotten that the mechanic was even in the room with them.

Raven let out a low breath that might’ve been a whistle if she wasn’t clearly trying to keep quiet and not disturb Lexa. Her eyes flickered over the bite mark on Clarke’s neck and then up to Clarke’s eyes; questioning and concerned. Head tilted to the side, Raven seemed to ask whether it had been consensual and when Clarke brightly blushed in answer, Raven smirked devilishly.

“This is the most awesome hickey I have ever seen.” Raven excitedly whispered.

“Raven –

\- I mean, just _look_ at it. I can tell that the sex must’ve been off the freaking charts.”

“Ra-

\- you’ve been _embraced,_ Griffin. I had this book on the Ark and fictional vampires seem to really know how to _suck,_ you know?” She smirked suggestively and waggled her eyebrows.

“We are so not –

\- was it good?” Raven continued to ignore Clarke’s flustered protesting. “Did you pass out? Did you share her blood? Can she flick her tongue at superspeed?”

Clarke stomach dropped and clenched at the last rapidly fired question and she bit her lip. Because _yes_. _Yes_ , Lexa could flick her tongue _amazingly_ fast.

“Oh… My… _God_ …” Raven Reyes _beamed_ as she seemed to read Clarke’s mind. Clarke had never seen the Mechanic acting so… so _normal_ and carefree. Well, the last time she’d seen Raven smiling so openly had been when she’d landed on the Ground and had been reunited with Finn.

Clarke wasn’t sure what to make of her behaviour.

“Klark.”

Clarke instantly forgot about trying to figure Raven out and turned to the stoic vampire intently watching them.

“Sha, Heda?” Clarke husked back, enjoying the way Lexa’s pupils dilated at her response and focused in on only her.

The vampire gathered herself quickly and stalked forward until she stood beside them, eyes never leaving Clarke.

“I have completed the map and inserted estimated distances where I could.” Lexa announced, eyes flitting over Clarke’s face. “I will wait outside while you inform your friend of my sexual prowess.” Lexa bluntly stated, chest puffing out with pride and Clarke smirked, even as her own chest tightened with fondness.

She was vaguely aware of Raven hiding a snicker behind the palm of her hand.

“I’ll be out soon.” Clarke promised, knowing she needed to calm Raven’s overactive imagination at least somewhat.

Lexa let slip a warm smile and a soft, most likely involuntary, purr, as she ducked her head down and affectionately nuzzled Clarke’s cheek while she visibly and audibly inhaled Clarke’s scent. Clarke closed her eyes and easily tilted her head to the side, allowing Lexa access to her throat. It was about the fourth time Clarke had noticed Lexa do this, and couldn’t help but feel delighted that the display seemed to be reserved for only her. Much like Lexa would brush her shoulder up against Gustus’s chest and bump her head underneath his chin.

The action felt special, intimate, and said way more than a mere peck on the lips ever could.

“Sha, Alehan.” Lexa affectionately murmured and reluctantly stepped away. “Goodbye, Raven.” She absently added, before exiting the room.

“See yah, Heda!” Raven called after her, barely containing her chuckling before she burst out laughing the instant the door closed behind the vampire.

Clarke’s lingering gaze finally left the door and settled in confusion on Raven.

“You like her?” Clarke blurted, completely baffled. “Even after she… Are you on drugs or something?”

And of course it had been the wrong thing to ask, because the chuckling instantly stopped and the amused smile left Raven’s features. Clarke wanted to regret it, but she wanted to understand too. Because she couldn’t fathom what could possibly have happened in the few hours Lexa had spent with Raven that caused the heartbroken mechanic to forget that Finn had died by Lexa’s hand. Clarke needed to be sure that Raven’s mood was genuine, because if it wasn’t, Raven might be closing in on a complete mental breakdown.

She watched as Raven walked over to the meticulous drawing Lexa had done and decided to stay where she was, to give the brunette some space.

“Everyone here can barely look me in the eye.” Raven rasped, avoiding Clarke’s gaze as she blindly scanned the map. “And when they do look at me, it’s with awkwardness and pity. They speak down to me like I’m a child, or avoid me all together like I make them uncomfortable. And though they don’t say anything to my face, I know what they’re thinking: Poor crippled Raven, shot in the spine, lost her boyfriend to the Princess and then lost him all together…”

Clarke took an impulsive step forward, lips parting to say something, but when Raven cringed at her approach, she halted and clenched her jaw shut.

Now she really regretted opening her stupid mouth.

“The Heda doesn’t look at me like that.” Raven thoughtfully murmured. “She doesn’t see the brace and she talks to me like I’m still competent even though I don’t move around as comfortably as everyone else does. She values my opinion and even challenges me to think further. She doesn’t fucking bullshit her way around me. And yeah, I was angry that day she was here. I still get angry now. But she saw it and asked Wick to leave us alone and asked me straight out why I was still angry.” Raven wryly chuckled. “Almost like, why are you still angry after that brief conversation we had when you tried to stab me with a screwdriver?”

Clarke’s mouth tilted into a grimace that had been meant to be a smile, because it still wasn’t remotely funny how close Raven had been to getting killed that day.

“So I told her that I _couldn’t_ let it go. That I had watched her kill him. After I watched you take him from me. And that I hated her and I hated you and I hated myself for having believed in him so blindly for so long.”

“Do you know what she asked me then?” Raven finally looked at Clarke with watery eyes and Clarke just swallowed thickly and shook her head no. “She asked me why I didn’t hate _Finn._ ” Raven bitterly laughed. “And just like that, I realised that I never hated her, because I knew that it was Finn’s actions that had led to his execution. And I never hated you, because I knew that _he_ was the one chasing after you… I’d been angry at Finn all along. Since the moment I found out about you two; found out what he’d done at that village. I _hated_ him for breaking my trust. We finally weren’t separated from each other by the Sky Box; we could’ve lived our lives together here. And he just went and fucked it all up.”

Raven sent her another bitter smile, but soon averted her gaze back down to the map.

“It didn’t feel right being angry at him, so I decided to be angry at the Heda. And I just fucking broke down in front of her after realising it.” She morosely chuckled. “I lost my shit and she just stood there and let me. I told her everything. About my mother, about Finn, about becoming an engineer, about the shit with the oxygen supply and Finn taking the blame for me. I told her _everything_ while I sobbed like a lunatic and she just _stood_ there and let me…”

Raven still seemed uncertain that it had actually happened like that.

“And after I managed to calm myself down, I tried to pretend that nothing happened and went back to work, but she just kept on staring at me until I eventually snapped at her to _stop it_.”

Raven wryly laughed again and Clarke smiled too as she pictured Lexa behaving exactly like that.

“Her reply to that was: ‘The Murderer is dead, Raven.’” Raven mimicked Lexa’s formal tone, and scoffed derisively. “I instantly felt like stabbing her again.” Clarke chuckled, but sobered when Raven’s expression grew grave. “She asked me what I remembered when I thought off him, and all I could think of was all that disappointment and anger when I heard what he’d done in that village. That it was _his_ fault that he was dead; that I had lost him. And I was close to losing it all over again, but she spoke and I fucking remember her words verbatim, Clarke, like she’d used some vampire magic and branded them into my skull. She told me that I could choose to remember him as the man he’d been those few minutes in Ton DC, or I could choose to remember the man he’d been those few years I’d known him in space. If anything, I could choose to remember him as the man who had surrendered himself in the end and atoned for his mistakes.”

Raven’s head dropped and Clarke took a careful step toward the slumped figure.

“Finn and I had kept to ourselves…” Raven whispered as Clarke crept closer at a snail’s pace, as though she was approaching a ticking time bomb. “He was my boyfriend, yes. But he’d also been my family. My best friend. My fucking hero.” Raven sniffed and tried to wipe at her tears. “I _hated_ him for disappointing me…” Raven quietly trembled. “I hated him, because I never thought him capable of doing anything like that. But the Heda helped me realise that it hadn’t been Finn in that village. Not the Finn that I knew. And at the very end, he sacrificed himself just like the Finn I loved would’ve done. That _that_ was, and should be, my last memory of him. Of Finn sheltering me from a vampire attack and whispering to me to be strong and that my people needed me, that he loved me. In the end he had been my Finn again…” Raven let out a choked sob and Clarke closed the remaining space between them.

“I’m going to hug you now, okay?” Clarke hoarsely and warily warned as she opened her arms while her own tears ran across her cheeks. They weren’t tears for Finn, but for Raven.

Clarke slowly wrapped her arms around the small brunette who instantly slumped into her.

“He wasn’t just my fucking boyfriend.” Raven mumbled into her neck and Clarke just held her closer, wondering if there had been anyone to hold Raven since they’d left for Ton DC; to listen to her talk about losing Finn.

Clarke stayed longer than intended. A recovered Raven practically kicking her out with a bashful smile that Clarke returned with a beaming grin of her own. Raven was going to be okay and the thought made Clarke feel inexplicably lighter. As though she’d finally let go of that guilt for her part in that clusterfuck of a love triangle that would’ve probably gone down if Raven Reyes had been any other type of woman.

Now though, Clarke felt confident that she and Raven had only grown closer.

* * *

 

Seated on a log, next to the breakfast fire outside of Gustus’s tent, Clarke softly smiled while she watched Lexa dote over the large warrior. She quietly ate the fruit on her plate and felt her heart soar as Lexa and Gustus mock fought over who would braid whose hair first. Gustus’s long beard still hung loose from when Lexa had combed it just before the missile had hit Ton DC.

Lexa wasn’t putting up much of a fight though. She smiled and brushed her shoulder against Gustus, gently purring and Clarke finally realised that Lexa must’ve missed spending time with him. She and Clarke had been wrapped in each other for the last few days, and most of the times Lexa wasn’t with Clarke, she had spent away from the village, leaving Gustus and Clarke to themselves.

Lexa lowered to the ground and settled in between Gustus’s knees, purring louder when he combed his fingers through her hair and contently started braiding. Clarke wondered whether she should leave and give them some time alone - she needed to find Bellamy, Lincoln and Octavia anyway - but green eyes flickered toward her and Clarke’s heart stuttered.

For all the attention Lexa had lavished on Gustus upon their return to Ton DC that morning, the vampire would still let her gaze frequently wander over to Clarke, and grin brightly, fangs full on display, as though having both Clarke and Gustus with her, was the epitome of happiness for Lexa.

So Clarke smiled back and stayed put, and chatted with Gustus, who seemed to have forgiven Clarke for ‘taking Lexa’s innocence’.

“I have considered entering the Mountain myself.” Lexa spoke, staring at the fire as both Gustus and Clarke stiffened and the cheery mood was abruptly sucked from their little camp. “I have learned much from Raven and believe I can disable their dispersal system and make radio contact.” Lexa’s mouth then pulled into an arrogant – yet still so unbelievably sexy - smirk. “Though I doubt an army would be necessary should I gain access.”

“No.” Gustus deadpanned and continued to braid her hair as though the matter was closed.

“It must be done, _Gostos_.” Lexa softly murmured and Clarke wondered whether it had been Gustus more so than the acid fog, which had prevented the Heda from facing the Mountain all along.Knowing Gustus, he wouldn’t be this against the idea if it wasn’t dangerous for Lexa, so Clarke’s concern only grew while she hoped Gustus would convince Lexa to not go in on her own.

“Why is it safe for you to go in now?” Clarke asked. “What’s changed? The cameras and acid fog are still up. They catch so much as a glimpse of you, they’ll release the fog.”

“Nothing has changed.” Gustus growled, even as his fingers remained gentle while they nimbly weaved through Lexa’s hair.

“I may be fast enough to cross the distance from the cameras to the _Ripa_ tunnels without being detected.” Lexa patiently explained. “We are uncertain as to whether the fog can be dispersed through the mines, though. That has been one of the main reasons I have not attacked the Mountain.”

Clarke didn’t know whether the fog could be dispersed through the mine either. It was where the Reapers spent most of their time. Would the Mountain Men risk killing all of them by sending the fog through the tunnels? Clarke wouldn’t put it past them. At the very least they would have it as a failsafe to dispose of the Reapers, should it become necessary for whatever reason.

“It is not worth the risk.” Gustus angrily grumbled.

“I agree.” Clarke added, Gustus’s approving look countering the slight glare Lexa sent her way. “You may be fast, Lexa, but those tunnels will trap you in and they’re too narrow to even fly through. Gustus is right. It’s not worth the risk.” Clarke sternly asserted.

“Listen to Klark.” Gustus urged while sharing a conspiratorial smirk with the blonde.

“I am not pleased by this.” Lexa pouted and Clarke felt her heart melt.

She shamelessly grinned at the adorable vampire until Lexa couldn’t help but let out a puff of air in resignation and smiled back.

* * *

 

Gustus had just finished up with Lexa’s braids, and Lexa was about to start on his beard, already having decided amongst the two of them that Clarke would be next, when the vampire’s gaze shifted toward Ton DC and the figure of Octavia Blake hurrying toward them.

“Bell and Lincoln are gone!” Octavia breathlessly and desperately rushed out when she reached Clarke. “They volunteered to scout the nightshift and were supposed to wake me up this morning when it was my turn. But Indra woke me asking why I wasn’t on duty and I went to look for them where they were supposed to be and they’re _gone_ Clarke!” Her eyes were wild and pleading and Clarke knew that Octavia knew exactly where her brother and boyfriend had gone.

“They’ve gone to Mount Weather.” She muttered, in case Lexa and Gustus hadn’t caught on yet.

“Indra won’t let me go look for them.” Octavia snarled, briefly glancing behind her and it was then that Clarke noticed the figure standing on the path a few yards away, angrily glaring at O.

“Octavia…” Clarke gently started, even as anger bubbled in her chest at Bellamy deciding on his own what was best and risking the entire mission by doing so. “They have a massive head start. Lincoln said it would be best to sneak in during the night so that the cameras won’t be able to make out that they were wearing disguises… It’s too late to catch up with them now…”

Clarke didn’t want to say that they’d most likely been caught by the Reapers or the Mountain Men already. It was still early in the morning, but as far as Clarke knew, Bell and Lincoln had been on duty since the evening before. They had more than enough time to sneak away and make it to the tunnels.

She stiffened when Octavia’s wild gaze hardened and shifted to the Heda, who stood impassively watching their interaction from a few feet away.

“You have to find them!” Octavia snarled her demand, and Clarke sighed, because though she could imagine the desperation and fear O must be feeling, she just knew that the Heda really didn’t give a flying fuck about that.

“I do not _have_ to do a thing.” Lexa casually returned, green glare turning icy at Octavia’s insolence.

Octavia turned her glare on Clarke then.

“If you two weren’t off –“ Octavia’s gaze landed on the bitemark on Clarke’s neck and she sneered, “- off being _selfish_ while our people _die_ up in Mount Weather, Bell wouldn’t have felt the need to do this! To do _something_ besides waiting! You have a responsibility to _your_ people, Clarke! But instead you’re running around with that –

A chilling growl echoed through the air and cut off Octavia’s tirade, but not Clarke’s growing guilt. Because Clarke had been so _happy_ ever since she’d kissed Lexa that day at the waterfall and this while her people were still being held captive in Mount Weather.

That predatory purr crawled up Clarke’s spine and she could see the way Octavia shuddered and took a step back as her eyes grew frightened at the Heda slowly stalking closer.

Lexa didn’t stop her advance until she was towering over Octavia, her wings only slightly puffed out, which at least told Clarke that Lexa was still mostly Lexa. As did the purr, which Clarke inexplicably recognized as threatening but not murderous, and absently wondered when she’d become an expert on identifying the nature of the vampire’s purring patterns based on tenor and speed.

Lexa didn’t say a word, though her eyes darkened and she menacingly glared at Octavia until the sky girl clenched her jaw and lowered onto her knees as though the deep growling was physically pressing her down.

“ _Indra_.” Lexa deeply snarled, causing both Clarke and Octavia to jump at the harshness of her tone.

Indra must’ve come closer when Lexa advanced on Octavia, because she was there in an instant.

“Remove your Second from my presence before I tear her impudent throat out.” Lexa lowly warned.

“Apologies, Heda.” Indra stiffly answered, and Clarke wasn’t sure whether Octavia was in more danger with Indra or Lexa.

“ _Leave us_.” Lexa hissed, baring her fangs, when Octavia hesitated a moment too long and yep, O was definitely safer with Indra.

“Come on, you stupid girl.” Indra angrily muttered, barely waiting for O to stand up before she started pulling her away. Octavia still managed to send Clarke a glare over her shoulder that was both pleading and filled with righteous contempt.

Clarke waited till they were out of earshot, before she turned to Lexa whose demeanour had changed the instant Indra and O had turned their backs and now only remained contemplative.

“Foolish boy…” Lexa muttered, shaking her head in rebuke.

The ire she’d shown Octavia had clearly been for show and Lexa just looked peeved at Bellamy and Lincoln for disobeying orders. It seemed as though Lexa – like Clarke - thought it Bellamy’s idea to go to the Mountain. Lincoln – the most level-headed of the two - probably only went along to protect Bellamy, for Octavia’s sake.

For a long moment Lexa’s gaze shifted over the treetops and toward the peak of Mount Weather, shrouded in dark grey clouds, slowly heading toward the village to ruin a perfectly nice day. Then the vampire looked to Gustus, who nodded and sat back down on his log, Lexa returning to her position at his side to start braiding his beard.

“Lexa…”

“No, Klark.” Lexa bluntly replied, rising again to look at her. “Those _branwodas_ disobeyed Indra’s orders, as well as yours and mine. They made a choice to risk their lives at the expense of their people. They should hope the _Ripas_ catch them, because if you ask me to search for them and I find them, I may do a lot worse.”

Clarke nervously gulped. This was a part of the Heda she didn’t like that much, but still couldn’t help but respect: calculated, logical and ruthless.

“If they’re captured and tortured, they might tell Wallace about the army…”

Lexa’s glare hardened and her eyes narrowed.

“ _Linkon_ will not speak.” Lexa confidently stated. “Your… _friend_ however, is a different matter.”

“Bellamy won’t-

Lexa raised her hand, and for some reason that baffled her, Clarke stopped talking automatically.

“To be clear,” Lexa stepped closer, eyes intently on Clarke, “you are asking me, to search for your impulsive friend, at the risk of the _Maunon_ seeing me and triggering the acid fog. At the risk of losing the scouts we have spread out toward _Maun-de_ , and at risk of my own safety?”

Lexa’s eyes remained piercing, her features giving away nothing and Clarke bit her lip.

Was she asking Lexa to risk her life for Bellamy and Lincoln? Was she asking because she truly feared that they would jeopardise the attack on Mount Weather? Lexa was practically indestructible, save for exposure to the acid fog. Which she could potentially face if Wallace spotted her…

“No.” Clarke guiltily murmured. “I’m not asking you to risk your own safety. I’m asking whether you’ll do a sweep of the area just to make sure nothing else has happened to them. That you expand your search to as close to Mount Weather without any risk to yourself. They’ll probably try to get in using Bellamy’s bone marrow as bait and then ambush the guards coming out to get them as per the original plan. If they succeed, we will need to get to Camp Jaha and to the radio. And if you don’t find them, and we don’t hear from them, we’ll need to reassemble the representatives of the clans and come up with a better plan. So we need to be sure of what happened to them before we decide what to do next.”

Clarke maintained eye contact while Lexa stared at her in that way that seemed as though she was reading Clarke’s mind. Clarke’s mistake had been trying to manipulate Lexa into looking for Bell and Lincoln by using the excuse that if they got caught, and broke under interrogation, Lexa’s army would be in danger. Of course the vampire had seen right through that. Lexa was intuitive by nature, but she was especially in tune to Clarke.

Regardless, Clarke didn’t want Lexa to risk her life, that had been the honest truth, and she hoped that Lexa would see that too.

“Very well, Alehan.” Lexa finally smirked and Clarke slumped in relief. “I will track your friends’ scent as far as is safe to do so.”

Clarke grinned, because she’d forgotten that Lexa could do that, and hugged the vampire, who momentarily stiffened in surprise, before she relaxed into the hug and purred in pleasure. When Lexa moved away, Clarke pulled her into a deep kiss, because it had been a while since their lips had met and Clarke still couldn’t not kiss Lexa when she was that close for more than a few moments.

She happily waved the blushing vampire off, who flew in the direction of Ton DC and then flushed bright red, when she found Gustus’s stern gaze on her.

“You will make her your wife.” Gustus darkly scowled.

“What? _No._ We’re – _I’m_ – too young to get married,” Clarke frantically stuttered out in shock, “not that I don’t want to marry her, she’s fucking gorgeous and smart and just everything that’s right in this fucked up world. And if she’ll have me I’ll marry her in a second. But not right now, okay? Maybe someday, when there’s peace, and Lexa and Mom can have an actual conversation. They are getting along now. Sort off.  Well, Mom’s warming up to her at least, so I guess it wouldn’t be too big a deal if we –

Gustus’s booming laughter cut off the frantic rambling. Thankfully. The bastard had just been messing with her.

“That was just mean, Gustus.” Clarke glowered and spun on her heel to petulantly stomp toward the village.

* * *

 

“We should call all the scouts in and arrange to travel to Camp Jaha, ‘cause we need to watch the radio if Lexa doesn’t find them and if no one’s here, the Mountain Men won’t attack Ton DC again.” Clarke told Gustus, having already forgiven him a few steps into their walk to the village. “Would you make arrangements with Indra please, while I make sure Octavia doesn’t do anything stupid?”

“ _Sha, Strik Alehan_.” Gustus smirked and waved Indra over from where she was scowling at a brooding Octavia.

Clarke sighed and walked toward her, and then sighed again when Octavia walked away from her. She dragged her feet and followed after the angry brunette, into the woods, figuring that they should probably have the undoubtedly taxing conversation somewhere private.

But Octavia picked up her pace and Clarke was forced to start jogging after her.

“Will you stop!” She angrily huffed, breaking into a run to try and catch up.

Octavia didn’t stop though and Clarke realised that she was heading in the direction of Mount Weather.

“The Heda went looking for them, O! We need to get back to Camp Jaha and wait by the radio in case they’ve made it in!” Clarke called out her explanation, while making sure not to trip over any roots or stones in her path.

“Stop following me!” Octavia shouted back, increasing her pace and shredding Clarke’s last bit of patience.

“Stop acting like a fucking child!” Clarke screamed in frustration and Octavia abruptly stilled and spun around.

“Stop leading people on and then driving them insane with your rejection!”

Clarke came to a grinding halt an arm’s length away from a glaring Octavia; a slow chill spread over her body, as her eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched.

“Excuse me?” Clarke tensely gritted out.

“You heard me.” Octavia lifted her chin in challenge. “Wells was your friend, but you treated him like shit, even while he followed you around like a little puppy trying to protect you. The world could see that he was in love with you, but you didn’t give a shit about that, did you? You just sunk your claws into Finn, in spite of Wells and then in spite of Raven showing up, and later you just dropped him like he was nothing. You didn’t seem all that upset when he was killed. You encouraged him to give himself up and even started whatever the fuck it is you have going on with that _thing_ that killed him.”

Clarke gaped at her, even as her fists furiously clenched at her sides.

“And still you got my brother under the spell of your magical vagina! You should’ve seen him the day we left Camp Jaha. He’d been so excited to have just a few drinks with you before he did this fucking crazy thing you agreed he should do. Placing his life on the line, and for what? To impress you? To have you finally see him? To have the fucking Princess find him worthy of a second thought!?”

Before she knew it, Clarke’s fist sharply connected with Octavia’s jaw.

Octavia’s training had clearly paid off, because her head just snapped to the side, before she casually spat out the blood pooling in her mouth and glared at Clarke.

“I didn’t ask for Finn or your brother to have feelings for me. They barely fucking know me.” Clarke lowly started, chest heaving as she tried to regain some semblance of control. “I _never_ led them on; I didn’t even fucking flirt with them. And even if I had, _they_ are responsible for their own fucking actions. Finn going insane and killing innocent people? That’s _his_ fucking fault! He couldn’t handle being on the Ground and that without even _half_ the responsibility that had been shoved on my shoulders!” Clarke shouted, anger and frustration overwhelming her. “And your brother is the fucking idiot who decided all on his own to run off and leave you here to worry about him. If he dies because of his own stupid mistakes _, that’s_ on him. And if he fucks up this entire mission because he gets caught, then that’s on him too. I’m so tired of being blamed for _every-fucking-thing_ that goes wrong and having people expect me to just fix it! But you know what, O? I don’t give a _fuck_ what you think. You wanna blame someone because you’re scared and don’t know what the fuck to do with that? _Fine_. Blame me, because I’m used to it by now and I don’t give a floating fuck anymore! I’m fucking _done_. There are more important things to worry about than running around in the woods, because the _Blakes_ don’t know how to fucking deal with their feelings.”

Clarke spun back around and started stomping back to the village, not stopping when she heard Octavia calling out to her. From her tone, she probably wanted to apologise or at least discuss what had been said. But Clarke refused to stop and listen.

Clarke Griffin was so fucking done with all this bullshit. With everyone just being fine with laying all of their expectations on her. Making her feel guilty for finding happiness with Lexa, the only light in the shitstorm they were all trapped in.

Clarke was still irately rambling in her mind, when a deafening roar stopped her progress and left her frozen in place. Slowly, Clarke turned to Octavia who was standing behind her, scanning the forest with wide terrified eyes.

“What. The fuck. Was that?” Octavia whispered when her eyes met Clarke’s.

“I don’t know and I don’t want to find out.” Clarke answered and with a nod to each other, they both started running back toward the village, but halted when the greenery in front of them seemed to wildly rustle and shift and whatever was coming at them roared again and it was most definitely HUGE.

They both simultaneously decided to hightail it out of there, having to detour from their route to avoid running into whatever was chasing them. Clarke made the mistake of looking back and almost had a stroke, when a gigantic gorilla jumped out of the trees, viciously roaring as it leapt through the air and landed only a few yards away.

Clarke looked back in front of her and drew her gun, pulling Octavia toward a cluster of large boulders to find a hiding place big enough for them to fit, but too small for the gorilla to pursue them through.

They took a sharp turn to run the length of a long boulder, the gorilla slamming right into it a second later. As it shook off the hit, Clarke turned around and started shooting. She could see the bullets entering the gorilla’s flesh, even its head, but it still got up onto its hind legs, opened its mouth wide and _roared_ , as it wildly beat against its chest.

Clarke emptied her entire clip on the thing, and it only served to make the gorilla angrier.

A tug from Octavia shook Clarke out of her shocked state and they started running again, looking for some sort of cover to hide in. The animal was too large and fast to outrun. So they circled around the cluster of boulders, the gorilla gaining ground fast, seeming to demolish any obstacles in between it and them.

So consumed with the wild animal on their heels, they ran right into a massive rocky slope, too wide to run around fast enough and too steep and high to climb up. Nothing but dirt and leaves and clear open space, separated them from the manic gorilla now.

Octavia drew her sword and braced herself. Clarke forgave the brave girl everything in that instant. They were going to get mauled to death and Octavia Blake still had her game face on, ready to try and defend herself with a sword that might as well have been a butter knife for all the good it would do against the large mutant gorilla bearing down on them.

Clarke’s heart was beating too fast and loud for her to have any last thoughts, and she was just about to close her eyes and accept her fate, when a smaller burly mass collided into the gorilla’s side, throwing it off of its course.

Clarke was confused, then relieved, then her heart jumped into her throat when she noticed Gustus wrestling with the gorilla, and was instantly overcome with blinding fear.

He seemed so small in comparison to the gorilla.

 _Gustus_ seemed _small_.

Clarke had seen pictures of gorillas before and had even watched a documentary on them in her Earth Skills class. They were large animals even on screen, but this one seemed extra-large. It had clearly undergone some sort of genetic mutation since it hadn’t even been slowed down by Clarke’s bullets. Same as Lexa. And Lexa seemed fucking invincible already, whilst only being a fraction of the size of the giant gorilla. Could it heal too? The way it demolished the rocks and trees in its path, it was definitely unusually strong.

“Run, Klark!” Gustus’s cry cut through Clarke’s storming thoughts, just as the gorilla wrapped its giant arms around Gustus’s body and lifted him up into a deadly embrace.

“ _No!”_ Clarke screamed, instinctively running forward, only being stopped by a feeling of paralysing devastation and Octavia’s arms around her when she could literally hear Gustus’s bones crack when the gorilla squeezed and Gustus’ agonized screams filtered through the forest thereafter.

“We gotta go, Clarke.” Octavia urgently hissed, tugging at Clarke who still couldn’t move. She could only stare as the gorilla unceremoniously dropped Gustus’s limp body to the ground.

This creature wasn’t hunting for prey. It was on a rabid fucking killing spree. They should’ve run when Gustus had said, they should run now. Octavia was still pulling at her, but Clarke’s legs felt like lead, and she couldn’t tear her gaze away from Gustus.

Clarke couldn’t just leave him there…

Octavia started yanking her arm harder and Clarke stumbled in her direction. Clarke only noticed then that the gorilla was closing in on them, but a blurring streak collided with it so fiercely, that the gorilla was lifted into the air and carried a few yards and smashed into a boulder, so viciously that the forest around them literally quaked as the rock crumbled in around it.

_Lexa…_

Clarke’s legs almost gave in, in her relief as she recognized those magnificent black wings and the loud snarl that accompanied Lexa’s fist connecting with the gorilla’s face. Clarke wanted to just sink to the ground and lay down for a bit, but Gustus wasn’t moving and Clarke quickly stumbled over to him, Octavia hot on her heels.

Collapsing onto her knees at his side, Clarke shuddered out a breath when she found Gustus still conscious, but blood was dripping from his mouth, nose and ears and staining his eyes red.

“You’re gonna be fine, Gustus.” Clarke shakily lied and ignored the way Gustus’s lips tilted up into what would probably have been a smirk if he’d had the energy. “ _Leksa’s_ here.” She reassured, running her hands over Gustus’s body to examine him and trying to ignore the vicious growling a few yards away; from memory being able to distinguish between Lexa and the gorilla.

Gustus had at least six broken ribs, a crushed sternum, definite internal bleeding, probably a collapsed lung. The only reason he was still alive was most likely because of Lexa’s blood flowing through his veins.

Clarke finally dared to look up at where Lexa had her feet planted firmly on the gorilla’s shoulders, her arm wrapped around its neck. One of her wings looked broken as it hung mangled from her torso and she seemed completely feral as she viciously snarled down at it, applying pressure as the gorilla futilely attempted to grab at her seemingly tiny form.

Clarke silently willed Lexa to kill it faster – able to judge by the strain in Lexa’s features that the two were about evenly matched in strength. Lexa needed to come and give Gustus her blood. That was the only way he would survive his injuries. But if Lexa left the gorilla now, it would just attack them again.

Clarke looked back to Gustus, when his large hand covered her own and she tightly gripped it back, giving him all of her attention, while choking down her worry for Lexa in the perilous battle taking place only a few yards away.

“Just stay with me a little longer.” Clarke softly pleaded, her eyes burning with sorrow she couldn’t quite hold back.

“P-protect her, Klark.” Gustus croaked out, violently coughing at the effort of trying to speak. Clarke shushed him and gently rolled him onto his side, knowing she was only causing more damage at the shift but needing to clear his throat of the blood he was asphyxiating on.

Once she had him on his back again, Gustus’s breaths were even more strained, like he was exhausted, but he still managed to speak in spite of Clarke’s warning not to.

“ _Promise_.” He wheezed out, eyes dazedly attempting to focus on Clarke’s watery gaze.

“I promise, _Gostos_.” Clarke whispered back and let out a strangled sob when she felt his body relax and his eyes fluttered closed.

“No! _Gostos_!” Clarke’s head snapped up as Lexa came speeding toward them. Behind her lay the decapitated form of the gorilla.

Lexa slid to her knees at Gustus’s side and savagely bit into her wrist, shoving the bleeding appendage into Gustus’s mouth.

Clarke instantly started doing CPR, trying to trick Gustus’s body into pumping the healing blood through his system. Clarke didn’t know how the whole blood healing thing worked, if it would even work now. But Lexa was blowing air into Gustus’s lungs when needed and Clarke thought that maybe Lexa was hoping it would work too.

Clarke wasn’t even staggered that the vampire knew First Aid at all.

Fearfully, Clarke felt for a pulse. Unsurprised when she found none, yet still utterly distraught at the same time. Her vision was blurred with tears, but Clarke continued to pump Gustus’s chest while Lexa kept on alternating between trying to get Gustus to drink her blood and blowing into his lungs. The last time Clarke had prayed so hard for a miracle was just before her dad had been floated.  

“ _Gyon op, Gostos_!” Lexa desperately shouted for Gustus to ‘get up’, while tears streamed out of obsidian eyes and down her flushed face. When Lexa’s head went down again, it wasn’t to give Gustus air, but to hopelessly lay her forehead against his chest. “ _Nou wan op_ …” Lexa helplessly pleaded, as she lay half across his torso, her face buried into Gustus’s chest, and her fists clenched into his clothes.

Clarke moved back and sat on her haunches, her hand going to take Gustus’s again, instinctively feeling for a pulse at his wrist that she knew she wouldn’t find. Not judging by the despairing tone of Lexa’s voice and the way she lay weakly begging him not to die.

“ _Beja nou bants ai soulou, Biga Bro_.” Lexa’s body shook as she wept into Gustus’s chest, her words muffled and Clarke looked up to Octavia for a translation because blood was rushing in her ears and she could barely see through her own tears.

Octavia stood there, rigid back, sword still clutched in her hand, cheeks wet, as she stared at Gustus and Lexa before she sensed Clarke’s eyes on her and turned toward the blonde. Clarke didn’t have to ask out loud what she wanted to know.

“Please don’t leave me alone, Big Brother.” Octavia solemnly rasped in translation.

* * *

 


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

 

 

The forest around them had grown eerily silent, save for the soft sounds of Lexa’s heart-breaking lament.

Clarke remained seated on her haunches, gripping onto Gustus’s hand, unable to move or figure out what to do next. All that ran through her mind was that she must surely be stuck in a ridiculous nightmare, because in Clarke’s eyes, Gustus was as indestructible as the Heda.

Next to her, Octavia shifted awkwardly on the balls of her feet and caught Clarke’s attention. When she turned to look at the younger Blake, it was in time to see a shaking hand reaching out toward Clarke’s shoulder.

The movement was slow and tentative, as though Octavia feared that Clarke would attack her, but it was Lexa’s head that snapped up, eyes pitch black and shiny with malicious intent. The vampire lithely moved to crouch over Gustus’s body and her jaws unhinged to savagely hiss in Octavia’s direction.

Octavia froze instantly and instinctively, while Lexa continued to glare in the vague vicinity of Octavia’s knees, lowly growling out a warning.

Clarke looked back up at the stricken girl, who desperately met her eyes, trying her best not to move a muscle as she silently questioned Clarke on what to do.

“Go.” Clarke softly murmured, not even reacting at the vicious snarl Lexa added to the command, even as Octavia started in fright. She seemed uncertain, probably wondering whether Lexa would attack Clarke if she left her there.

_She didn’t know Lexa at all. No one knew Lexa. Gustus had known Lexa._

Clarke clenched her jaw, her eyes brimming with fresh burning tears. “You’ve done enough.” She coldly told Octavia, who seemed more struck at the words than when Clarke had punched her in the face. “Now leave.”

Octavia didn’t argue. Instead she slowly shifted her gaze to Lexa who was still deeply growling, staring at a spot in front of Octavia’s feet, as though she had drawn an invisible line and was just waiting for O to cross it so that she could tear her apart.

Clarke could see the guilt flicker in Octavia’s eyes when she looked over the distraught vampire protectively hunched over her brother. Clarke felt that guilt a hundred times over. Gustus had been out there searching for _Clarke._ He’d attacked a mutant gorilla to protect _Clarke_. She shouldn’t have chased after Octavia. She should’ve at least told Gustus where she was going, _especially_ after what had happened with Quint.

Clarke blamed herself, but she still glared at Octavia until the girl carefully backed up, Lexa’s growls fading as she retreated and then turned around, to swiftly disappear into the foliage.

With Octavia gone, Clarke could do nothing but look at Lexa, no longer growling, instead softly whimpering as she nuzzled her head against Gustus’s chest. Each soft whine twisted in Clarke’s gut, squeezed at her heart and made the knot in her throat grow painfully thicker.

Clarke wasn’t sure how much time had passed, her head felt as though she was submerged under water, but Lexa finally sat up, though didn’t acknowledge Clarke still keeping vigil on the other side of Gustus’s prone form.

Tentatively, Lexa’s hands moved to Gustus’s beard and gently brushed through it with her fingers. Lexa then slowly started to braid the hair, fingers trembling, yet nimble from years of experience doing just that. At the end of the long braid, Lexa placed a red band she’d removed from her own hair.

Clarke had long since stopped trying to wipe away her tears, and just left them to stream down her cheeks as she watched Lexa draw her dagger from her thigh to cut the braid from Gustus’s chin. After putting the knife away, Lexa tied another red band to the other end, closed her eyes and briefly clenched the braid in her fist, before tucking the memento safely into the holster too.

Lexa sat there for a while, just staring at Gustus’s face until her tears had dried, before she moved the hand she’d been holding and placed it onto his chest. Lexa then carefully leaned over Gustus’s torso and took hold of the wrist where Clarke was still clutching onto Gustus’s other hand.

Lexa didn’t say a word. She didn’t growl. She didn’t purr or whimper. She just kept her hand there and stared at the ground in front of her, waiting for Clarke to release her grip.

Clarke let out a shuddering sob, but swallowed thickly to try and find her voice.

“In peace, may you leave this shore...” Clarke’s voice quavered over the words. “In love, may you find the next...”

Lexa’s head tilted slightly, but she still refused to look at Clarke.

“Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground.” Clarke whispered. It was the only words she knew to say at a time like this. “May we meet again.”

She’d meant to apologise, meant to hold Lexa in her arms and comfort her. But all Clarke could manage was to squeeze Gustus’s hand in both her own, before she finally managed to let go.

Lexa didn’t look at Clarke while she quietly reclaimed her brother’s hand and gently placed it atop the other on his chest.

“ _Yu gonplei ste odon_.” Lexa hoarsely whispered and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on Gustus’s forehead. Her lips lingered for a long moment and a single tear ran down her cheek.

Stoically, the vampire wrapped an arm behind Gustus’s shoulders, another behind his knees and effortlessly lifted him off the ground.

It would’ve been a comical picture under any other circumstances. But even through the faux impassivity of the Heda’s features, her sorrow still shone through in her obsidian stare. Lexa was half of Gustus’s size at most, and yet she tenderly cradled him against her body with a natural protectiveness that seemed to still want to shelter him from harm.

“Go with _Okteivia_.” Lexa roughly rasped, dark glistening eyes staring at nothing just off to the side of Clarke’s face. “She is waiting for you.”

Lexa didn’t wait for an answer, instead she slowly turned around, carefully holding Gustus as though not to jostle him, and walked away from Clarke. The blonde wanted to follow. Wanted to check on Lexa’s wing still mangled from the fight and limply hanging off of her back. All of Clarke was screaming in need to follow after Lexa. But she didn’t want to intrude. Lexa hadn’t asked her to go with. In fact, Lexa had instructed her to go away. Because all of this was Clarke’s fault, wasn’t it?

Lexa was never going to forgive her for this...

* * *

 

After Lexa had disappeared into the forest, Clarke just stood staring at the spot she’d last seen her in, before she mechanically turned around and walked in the other direction. She didn’t acknowledge Octavia joining her about half a mile into her walk. Instead, Clarke just blindly continued on and then followed automatically when Octavia took the lead, because Clarke had just been walking without any real thought or care as to whether it was back to the village or not.

When they reached Ton DC a few minutes later, Clarke passed Indra and a few warriors staring at her in bemusement, but didn’t stop until she entered the Dark Tent.

She managed to hold it together until she collapsed onto the bed of furs and Lexa’s familiar scent accosted her senses. Curling into herself as her chest constricted in pain, Clarke finally wept.

* * *

 

“Clarke?”

Her mind was blank and her body ached while she lay nestled in Lexa’s bed. Clarke had been waiting for Lexa to return, and grew angry when it was Octavia who ducked in through the flaps of the tent instead.

“I brought you something to eat…” Octavia softly explained, and walked over to the table, the one where at Lexa and Clarke had shared their first meal together, and placed a tray down on it.

Clarke didn’t move.

Her eyes were open and she could feel Octavia staring at her from across the room.

“I’m sorry about _Gostos_ …” Octavia whispered and Clarke turned her head to look at the girl. “I didn’t know him that well, but everyone seemed to have a lot of respect for the _Seken_.”

 _Gustus was the fucking best_. And what was this about ‘The Seken’? Clarke sat up to glare her question at Octavia.

“ _Gostos_ was no one’s Second.” Clarke bitterly remarked.

Octavia swallowed thickly and nodded even while she looked to not agree with Clarke’s proclamation.

“It’s a title of respect and honour. _Seken kom Heda_. He served as the voice of the people since the Heda doesn’t usually engage with them…” Octavia trailed off and searched Clarke’s reaction, but the blonde was wondering why Lexa and Gustus had never told her about this. She came to the conclusion that it probably wasn’t something _they_ had decided to call Gustus. That the title had been born from a need by their people to assign a title when they probably couldn’t figure out just who exactly Gustus was to Lexa. _Brother of the Heda_. That’s who Gustus had been. That’s what had been important to Gustus and Lexa. Not some ‘honoured’ title of _Seken_.

Clarke’s jaw clenched furiously as she tried not to cry again and grew angry when it seemed to hit her all over that Gustus was _gone_ and she viciously glared at a visibly stricken Octavia. Clarke hated how warped everyone’s perceptions of Lexa and Gustus’s relationship was. Even when Clarke knew the two of them had probably just laughed at their assigned _Heda_ and _Seken_ titles.

“I know this isn’t the time and that she’d been grieving…” Octavia hoarsely questioned. “But did the Heda mention anything about Bellamy and Lincoln?”

Clarke could hear the guilt at asking, she could even understand Octavia’s need to know. Frankly, Clarke hadn’t given the matter a fleeting thought and she doubted that Lexa cared enough to even clarify how far she’d gotten in her search. But the fact that Octavia had even asked… That Octavia’s question seemed to acknowledge Lexa’s grief whilst implying that Clarke’s was inconsequential… That Clarke hadn’t come to think of Gustus as the brother she never had; the one she’d lost when Wells died; the one she thought she had in Bellamy until he fucked everything up. This was his fault too. He should’ve fucking stayed in Ton DC like he’d been told!

Clarke’s anger flared red hot in the pit of her belly.

“You shouldn’t be in here!” Clarke hissed, surprising Octavia with the amount of venom laced in her tone. “You’re getting your scent all over the place! She wouldn’t want your fucking smell in here!”

Even as the words left her mouth, Clarke knew that she was worried about her own scent in Lexa’s personal space. Worried that Lexa wouldn’t want her there; wouldn’t want to see or smell Clarke when she returned.

If Lexa returned at all.

Octavia visibly cringed and her face fell. She bit her lip as though she wanted to say more, but instead she turned on her heel and quietly ducked out of the tent.

Clarke tried to slow down her heavy breathing, the knot in her throat only hardened and ached with each sharp inhale. Her eyes filled with yet another wave of fresh tears and unable to do much else, Clarke buried herself into the furs and started sobbing all over again.

* * *

 

The sun had just set, or so Clarke gathered, given the fading light in the tent. It had started raining some time ago, so it might just have been the clouds causing the semi darkness. The rain had been something Clarke had enjoyed the first time she’d experienced it on the Ground. Now though, all she could do was listen to the dull drops thudding against the canopy of the tent and absently wonder how no water was leaking through.

The remainder of her thoughts were unsurprisingly centred on Lexa. Where had she gone? Would she build a pyre for Gustus? Would she stand there all by herself clutching onto his braid? Would she ever speak to Clarke again? Would she come back to Ton DC?

Clarke wanted to be there to say goodbye to Gustus too.

The man had hardly spoken and was charmingly abrasive most of the time, but Gustus had sneakily crawled into Clarke’s heart and was then abruptly ripped back out again, leaving a fucking hole where he’d been. She should’ve known better than to care about yet another person. They all just ended up dying on her. Clarke had thought that with Gustus and Lexa being as strong and wise as they were, as protective of each other, that they’d be safe… That she didn’t need to worry about losing them…

And through her own sorrow, Clarke obsessed over Lexa’s anguish. How was Lexa going to survive this?

She should be out there looking for the vampire.

It hadn’t been the first time Clarke had thought it. The only reason she hadn’t gone yet, was because she’d hoped that Lexa would return and wanted to be there if she did. But Lexa didn’t trust people. Lexa had been hurt so deeply that she still didn’t fully trust Clarke, that much was clear now. And why would she? The Sky People had crashed on the Ground and disrupted Gustus and Lexa’s lives. Arrogantly declared war even when they were at an extreme disadvantage. Her people were _impulsive_ and their behaviour reeked of entitlement. And now Gustus was dead, because the Dropship had crashed onto Lexa’s lands…

Even while her guilt grew, Clarke’s resolve to find Lexa strengthened.

She got up from the furs and pulled on the boots she’d kicked off to not dirty Lexa’s bed. Clarke planned to get a horse from Indra and ride to Lexa’s waterfall. If Lexa wasn’t there, Clarke would go to wherever the fuck Polis was to searched for her. Lexa needed to know that Clarke was sorry, that she never meant to fuck up her life like this. Lexa needed to know that Clarke cared about Gustus.

Desperate and anxious, Clarke rushed passed the untouched food on the table, and ducked out into the pouring rain to find Indra. It didn’t matter that the sun was almost gone or that it was raining. Or that Lexa could scent her coming and could fly away without Clarke ever knowing.

Clarke would fucking find Lexa, if it was the last thing she did.

Just as she stepped out of the tent though - the rain almost instantly soaking her - Clarke noticed the tall figure standing in front of Gustus’s tent and her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach and painfully knotted. Lexa stood motionless, her wings drooped down – seemingly healed at least -, feather tips dipping into the mud. Her head hung low and her shoulders sullenly slumped.

Clarke’s eyes burnt at the heart wrenching sight.

“Lexa?” Her voice cracked over the name and she slowly moved forward.

Lexa gave no indication that she had heard Clarke and the blonde continued until she was standing in front of the despairing vampire.

“I’m sorry…” Clarke managed to croak through that suffocating lump in her throat. It grew even thicker when obsidian eyes looked up and stared right through her.

Lexa’s gaze was empty, void of that sparkle that Clarke could always see no matter the colour. Even while the rain pelted down on her, soaking Lexa’s hair and running over her wings, Clarke could still see the tears spilling from those dark eyes, so freely that it seemed as though they had no intention of ever stopping.

“He was protecting me...” Clarke guiltily sobbed out without having meant to, and quickly covered her hand over her mouth to stop herself. This was so not about her right now, but the remorse and the grief was killing her. “I’m so sorry, Lexa…” She said again, not knowing what else to say or how to make it better.

If she was mourning Gustus like this, how must Lexa not be feeling?

“I had instructed that four of Indra’s Seconds be assigned to serve as your guard.” Lexa impassively stated, her voice dull and formal. “ _Gostos_ said that you would not want that. That it would make you uncomfortable. He said that he wanted to be your friend and would protect you himself.”

Clarke wheezed out another sob she couldn’t quite contain as Lexa’s words brutally sucker-punched her in the gut. Gustus had been right, Clarke definitely would’ve felt awkward being trailed by strangers the entire day.

“He _was_ my friend.” Clarke wholeheartedly agreed, sniffing through her tears and trying to pull it together for Lexa’s sake. “I’m so sorry…” Her body shook with uncontrollable sobs. “This is all my fault, I should never have gone into the forest, I swear I didn’t even realise how deep we’d gotten...” Clarke hoarsely professed her remorse again.

“Do not dishonour my brother by apologising for his bravery.” Lexa blankly stated and Clarke could only frantically nod, wiping at the tears and the rain on her face, ashamed that she was losing it when her grief was nothing compared to Lexa’s.

“Is there –“ Clarke pitifully hiccupped, unable to get the sentence out _. Is there anything I can do_? She wanted to ask, but Clarke knew the answer already. Nothing was going to take Lexa’s pain away right now. There would forever be that hole in her heart. Like the hollow feeling Clarke still had at her father’s absence. It would get better, eventually, and yet some days the pain would feel like it was all too much to bear. The emptiness would shrink with time, but it would never fully disappear. Not when left by fathers like Jake Griffin and brothers like Gustus.

“I wish to be alone, Klark.” Lexa stoically declared, eyes vacant and faraway.

Clarke’s chest clenched at the dismissal, still swarming with guilt, still mourning a man she’d come to care about so much. But she nodded and turned away, because she’d wanted to ask Lexa what she could do, and apparently Lexa felt that Clarke could go away. Lexa didn’t want Clarke there; the reminder of why her brother was dead. Lexa wanted to be alone.

Clarke stopped her retreat and her brows knitted together.

Lexa’s final words to Gustus had been to beg him to not leave her alone. Clarke wanted to shout at Lexa that she wasn’t, that she had Clarke. But how could she even compare to a bond like theirs that had been almost a century old?

_Protect her, Klark._

No, Clarke couldn’t ever replace Gustus, but she was there and Lexa _wasn’t_ alone. Lexa didn’t want to be alone. Lexa’s been alone this entire horrible day.

Clarke walked back the few steps she’d taken and wrapped her arms around the heartbroken vampire, tucked Lexa’s face down into her neck and held her tightly.

“You’re not alone.” Clarke rasped, barely aware of the rain still heavily pelting down on them, as though the skies themselves were mourning Gustus’s death. “I’m yours now, Lexa. And I know it’s not the same, but I’m here. I’m not leaving you alone.”

She felt Lexa’s body go slack and sink into her; allowing Clarke to hold her close and finally Lexa started sobbing. Her body violently shook as her arms moved and her hands desperately clutch onto Clarke.

Clarke cried too, even as she steadfastly held the vampire, promising Lexa nothing more than just being there.

* * *

 

Clarke was soaked straight to the bone, but she stood there holding Lexa for what felt like an eternity, torn between wanting Lexa to cry it all out and never wanting to hear the sound of her crying every again.

As the rain slowed to a light drizzle and darkness settled in around the campsite, Lexa finally lifted her head and gently pushed Clarke away, as though she herself was unable to move back. The vampire averted her gaze, and that was hardly a good sign.

She watched with dread pooling in her belly as Lexa clenched her jaw and straightened her spine.

“Travel back to Camp Jaha in the morning.” Lexa stoically commanded, still not meeting Clarke’s eyes. “I will meet you there before sunset.”

Lexa didn’t wait for an answer or a protest, before she leapt into the air, wings spreading wide and causing a striking disruption in the falling showers. Her eyes were still dark as night, as they briefly met Clarke’s and were filled with so much anguish that Clarke’s own heart ached in sympathy.

She helplessly watched as Lexa flew off, once again leaving her behind. Once again choosing to be alone instead of with Clarke.

Clarke wasn’t sure where they stood. Whether Lexa just needed some time. Whether Lexa really wanted Clarke to leave her alone or for Clarke to prove that she had no intention of leaving Lexa alone… Clarke wasn’t sure of anything anymore, so she did as Lexa had instructed, but decided to leave for Camp Jaha that night, in hopes that sunset would come sooner and she would get to see Lexa again.

* * *

 

It was clear that Indra thought her insane for wanting to travel at night. But Indra was loyal to her Heda and when Clarke had given the command on Lexa’s behalf, the few warriors who had stayed to scout the forest around Ton DC all listened without question.

Clarke knew that Octavia must’ve told them about Gustus. She could see them confused and concerned. Wanting to ask about their Heda, but not daring to. Lexa might’ve thought that she hid her love for Gustus from them. But as Clarke watched them pack up the _Seken’s_ tent with so much care and respect, she realised that maybe Lexa didn’t need to fear all of her people. That maybe if she gave them just the tiniest of chances, she would be pleasantly surprised.

Had she not been lost in thoughts, Clarke would’ve been more uncomfortable her first time on a horse. As it were, she spent the journey to Camp Jaha mindlessly staring at the horse’s mane, protectively flanked by Indra and Octavia, and reached the Skaikru camp long before the sun came up.

At least the rain had stopped, though Clarke wasn’t even sure when it had.

She told the Arker guards not to wake Kane and instead had Indra set her people up inside of the gates. Clarke was grateful when they swiftly pitched the Heda’s tent and carried Gustus’s belongings inside. Indra shrewdly watched while Clarke gave out a few orders, telling them that she would unpack the Heda’s things herself.

Clarke knew that Indra had figured out how she felt about Lexa. Maybe Octavia had even said something. Lexa’s bite mark was still visible for all the world to see and Clarke displayed it with all the pride she could muster under the circumstances.

Still, Indra said nothing. Indra treated Clarke no differently than she’d always done. The Grounders were certainly a whole lot less intrusive than the Arkers were.

* * *

 

After Clarke meticulously organised all of Lexa’s things in the exact way she could remember them being, she lit a few of Lexa’s candles and settled down into the furs. She knew that her staying in Lexa’s tent would both raise and confirm suspicions on the nature of their relationship. But Clarke also didn’t give a fuck.

She took out the sketchbook she’d retrieved earlier and immediately started drawing in the dim candle light. Her head would most likely start to ache soon because of the strain on her eyes, but Clarke’s had a headache for most of the day, so that wasn’t a new problem to worry about.

Clarke’s fingers flew over the page and the image of Gustus started materialising before her. She drew him with that mischievous smirk on his face whenever he teased her, arms folded across his broad chest; large and powerful, with that hint of playfulness and kindness that had been ever-present in his eyes. Clarke needed to draw Gustus for herself, but she also needed to draw him for Lexa. So that the vampire would have an image of her brother forever immortalized.  

She hoped that Lexa would accept the portrait. Clarke wasn’t sure she could give it to the vampire though, and decided to just sneak it amongst Gustus’s belongings, neatly packed into one corner of the Heda’s tent. She knew that right now Lexa wouldn’t want _things_. Lexa would just want her brother back. But maybe later, Lexa would choose which of Gustus’s belongings she wished to keep and which she would take back to Polis with her.

Clarke’s heart painfully stuttered at the thought of Lexa leaving for Polis and the nervous ball of energy in her gut flared up again.

The sun had long since risen when Clarke finally finished the sketch, physically and emotionally drained.

Sighing heavily, she placed it down on the furs next to her and almost instantly fell asleep.

* * *

 

She was woken by a commotion later that afternoon and since Lexa was known to cause such an excited – anxious - murmur upon her arrival, Clarke quickly tucked Gustus’s portrait with his belongings and hurried outside. Her heart almost ruptured in her chest when she saw the winged figure descending from over the treetops and toward Camp Jaha.

So dizzyingly hopeful by the sight, it took Clarke a while to notice Lincoln dangling below Lexa, suspended by the Heda’s firm grip on his Grounder leathers. It looked like a precarious position to be in, but the Grounder leathers were strong, as was their Heda.

When they were a few feet from the ground, Lexa very unceremoniously dropped Lincoln, who as soon as he found his feet, fell to his knees, followed first by all the Grounders and then slowly by the wary Arkers, as the Heda effortlessly and gracefully landed in front of them all.  

“Forgive me, Heda!” Lincoln desperately shouted and Clarke hurried over, wondering what had happened.

Lexa ignored Lincoln though and looked over Clarke’s shoulder toward her Dark Tent, before she settled her gaze on Clarke. There wasn’t any sign of the distraught vampire of before if you didn’t really know Lexa. Her hard, stoic mask had been firmly pulled on, but no matter how many decades Lexa had practiced that visage, it still couldn’t hide the sorrow in her expressive, obsidian eyes.

_At least they weren’t vacant anymore._

“Gather your people, we meet in an hour.” The Heda commanded and stalked toward her tent.

* * *

 

Clarke needed to forcibly plant her feet in the ground to stop herself from following after Lexa. Instead she gave out instructions to everyone still dumbly staring after the Heda – and when would they fucking get over the novelty already? - having to harden and raise her voice to be heard.

Octavia came running from the Ark after word had clearly reached her and it was cruel and petty, but Clarke ordered her to stop before she was about to fling herself into Lincoln’s arms. Even worse, the guilt-ridden girl actually obeyed her instantly.

“Go get Jackson and bring him to the Engineering room.” Clarke instructed, continuing to glare at Octavia. “I’ll be questioning Lincoln there.”

Octavia sent a longing glance to Lincoln who straightened and gave her a reassuring nod that had Octavia grinning happily before she ran off to do as instructed. Lincoln then turned to Clarke, lifted his chin and stared down at her, clearly not liking what he’d just seen.

Clarke didn’t like it either, she wasn’t sure why she kept on doing it. She hadn’t planned on being a bitch, but it was a lot better than curling into a little ball and drowning in a puddle of her own tears. Lexa had taught Clarke that her responsibility was to her people. And Clarke wouldn’t let them or Lexa down now by neglecting her duty.

“Indra, Kane, please escort Lincoln to the Engineering room. After he’s been seen to, ask Wick and Jackson to leave and wait there for myself and the Heda.”

Clarke was surprised at how easily her orders were followed. They probably thought that she wanted to speak to Lexa before she joined them. Clarke did. She really wanted to. But despite having waited for her the entire day, Clarke was terrified to go and see Lexa; mind-numbingly terrified of being rejected again.

Instead, Clarke hurried to her room in the Ark, closed the door behind her and proceeded to trash the whole place in an attempt to get rid of the pent up anxiety that just wouldn’t leave her.

She needed to pull it the fuck together.

When there was nothing left to violently disrupt in the small space, Clarke took a deep fortifying breath, squared her shoulders and went to the Engineering room.

* * *

 

“We thought with time running out for the Sky People, we’d see whether the old plan would still work. Bellamy dressed as _Trikru_ and I disguised myself as a _Ripa_.” Lincoln tensely relayed.

He was physically fine as he sat in his chair with Octavia vigilant at his side. Kane, Indra and Raven were there too.

“Both of you decided?” Octavia managed to look both relieved that Lincoln was okay and angry that he’d gone at all.

Lincoln ducked his head down, but didn’t answer her.

“Thought so.” Octavia muttered.

Everyone knew that Lincoln had gone along with the plan to protect Bellamy for Octavia’s sake.

“So how did Bellamy end up in Mount Weather and you unharmed in the forest?” Raven asked the question everyone really wanted to know.

“When we saw that the _Ripas_ still had captured _Trikru_ with them, we decided that the plan could still work and followed them to the mine entrance of the Mountain.” Lincoln’s jaw clenched and he stared straight ahead of him as he recounted the events. “I copied all they did. Bellamy as my prisoner was forced onto his knees, all the prisoners lined up, each _Ripa_ standing behind his… Our weapons were hidden in our clothes… We were ready to take out whoever came out of the door… What we hadn’t counted on was one of the _Ripas_ noticing my weapon…” Lincoln’s eyes rapidly flickered as he remembered. “They aren’t all the same… Some still seem like they know what they’re doing. He knew then that I wasn’t one of them, and as the door opened, he hit me over the head and knocked me out.”

Octavia grabbed Lincoln’s hand and gently squeezed as her eyes filled with even more fear for her brother.

“When I woke, it was to feel a sharp pain in my neck. One of the Mountain Men stood over me with a strange looking needle. They must’ve placed something in my body, because I felt different. I wanted to help Bellamy; I saw them taking him into the Mountain with the other prisoners. But I was overcome with the strangest feeling. As though I had too much wine, but more than just simply that… I was myself, but I was not. I felt invincible, like I could do anything… and yet I couldn’t move… I’m not sure how long it lasted and I just lay there enjoying the blood rushing through my body, but when the feeling was gone, all that remained was a desperate need to get more of what they’d given me and an uncontrollable hunger… I was consumed by it, I lost myself entirely…”

“But you beat it.” Octavia proudly reassured, pecking him on the cheek. “You’re you again.”

Lincoln shook his head, his eyes filled with guilt.

“ _Heda_ found me, eating raw meat from a deer I had killed…” He shamefully sneered. “She gave me her blood and the haze cleared from my head… Heda saved me. I had disobeyed her and still she saved me.”

Lincoln’s guilt seemed to only amplify Octavia’s. Clarke was sure that Lincoln didn’t yet know about Gustus, suggesting that it was his devotion to his Heda fuelling his remorse.

“So they’re drugging them…” Raven thankfully broke through the silence, Clarke’s own guilt and anger having prevented her from commenting on Lincoln’s statement.

“And if the Reapers want more of that drug, they bring them Grounders.” Kane nodded, realising how the Reapers - who all seemed so savage - were being controlled by the Mountain Men.

“Why didn’t they just kill all of you?” Octavia frowned. “They’ve moved on to using the bone marrow of my friends… Clarke said that there are hundreds of Grounders still in the mountain… Why would they need _more_?”

“Because the _Ripas_ protect the tunnels and continuing to appease them with these… _drugs_ , will keep them doing so.” Indra perceptively stated.

“ _Sha_ Indra.” Lexa’s voice announced her quiet arrival and everyone stiffened at the obsidian eyes that stared through them all and toward the long table in the centre of the room, containing a map with miniature model landmarks on top of it. “You have done well on recreating my lands, Raven.” Lexa impassively complimented, while walking toward the map.

“ _Mochof_ , Heda.” Raven proudly smiled, even as her eyes darted curiously over the Heda.

So Raven could see it too then; Lexa’s loss hanging over her like a bright cloud of sorrow. Everyone gathered around the table and silently waited for the Heda - who was intently perusing the map - to speak again.

Not knowing whether Lexa was privy to what had happened at the Mountain, and not wanting to risk being shot down if she asked, Clarke just relayed all the information they’d garnered from Lincoln so far. Even as Clarke spoke she could see the way Lexa was just blankly staring at a spot on the map, completely checked out of the world.

Raven met Clarke’s eyes, concern evident on her features. Maybe Clarke should’ve told Raven what had happened to Gustus. Maybe she should’ve spent more time making sure that everyone knew not to say something that may upset Lexa even more. Maybe Clarke should’ve spent her time creating a safe place for Lexa instead of wallowing in her own grief and misery.

Clarke had been quiet for a while without even realising it, as she just stared at Lexa across the large table separating them, wishing that they were alone. When the Heda’s gaze lifted and obsidian eyes sorrowfully stared at Clarke, it felt as though Lexa knew exactly what Clarke was thinking.

The tension in the room was thick and suffocating, everyone sensing it and not willing to speak no matter how important it was to plan their next step.

The radio crackling behind them was barely noticed by those gathered.

“ _Camp Jaha. This is Mount Weather. Can anyone read me_?” Bellamy’s voice blasted through the speakers and shattered the silence.

“Holy crap!” Raven exclaimed, rushing over to the radio, followed closely by Octavia and Clarke.

The message repeated, Raven grabbing the handset, quickly glancing between Clarke and Octavia, before she handed it over to Clarke with and apologetic shrug to O.

“Bellamy?” Clarke’s disbelief seeped through as she spoke and the second it took to hear a reply almost had her heart pounding through her ribs.

“Clarke?” Bellamy’s relief was palpable, almost as much as Clarke’s, as she rested her elbows on the table, sagging with relief.

_The fucking plan was back on. They could still do this._

“I don’t know what happened to Lincoln –“ Bellamy started saying, but Clarke quickly pressed down, the urgency in Bellamy’s voice showed that they didn’t have much time.

“He’s safe Bell. The Heda saved him.” Clarke’s eyes searched for Lexa while she spoke and found that the vampire was the only one still stood by the map, blindly gazing at it, seemingly oblivious to what was going on around her.

Clarke focused back on the radio, hoping no one else would notice Lexa, but she knew Raven already had.

“You need to disable the acid fog.” Clarke reiterate the plan. “Will you be able to do that?”

“ _I have Maya with me. She’s been helping_.” A long pause. “ _She says we can do it_.”

Clarke nodded to herself.

“Are the other’s alive?” Clarke’s voice broke.

“ _Yes. Yes, I think so. They’re all locked in a room though_.”

“Will you be able to get the Grounders out of their cages?”

It would’ve been Lincoln to do that while Bellamy focused on the acid fog.

“ _I’m posing as a guard, but it won’t be long until they figure out I don’t belong here_.” Bellamy confirmed what they were all thinking. He might not have enough time. They had to decide what he should prioritise.

If he got the Grounders out, the distraction would give him enough time to disable the acid fog, but if he got caught before releasing them, they would be back to square one. If Bellamy disabled the acid fog, the army could still march up to Mount Weather, if he got caught then, the plan may still work with a lot more casualties. If he didn’t get caught, he could still try and free the Arkers and the Grounders.

Clarke quickly relayed her thoughts out loud to Bellamy and everyone in the room.

“Go for the acid fog first. Then our people. Get them to help you free the Grounders.” Clarke decided, pleased when Kane and Indra nodded their agreement.

Bellamy quickly agreed.

“ _And Clarke. We have people helping us… There are kids here… We can’t storm in blindly_ …”

Clarke’s jaw clenched. Releasing all those Grounders onto their captors… The people who’d been terrorizing them for decades... The Mountain Men were bound to lose innocent lives. Clarke couldn’t control that, no matter how much she wanted to. She was also aware of Maya listening in on the conversation.

“We will instruct the army to take those who surrender as prisoners.” Clarke said the only thing she could promise.

Bellamy seemed relieved and said he’d check back as soon as he could once he’d identified where the dispersal system might be so that Raven could talk him through disabling it. The time he’d spent with Raven before their trip to Camp Jaha would help him find it.

Once Bellamy signed off, Clarke rushed out a breath that only left her more tense. Bellamy had made it in. The fucking bastard had pulled through. Clarke was still mad at him, but she couldn’t help but be grateful that he’s impulsive plan had worked.

“I am not pleased with this plan.”

Everyone stiffened once again and turned to the Heda, standing in front of the table now, seemingly dominating the space between her and them.

 _And what the fuck_? It was almost the exact same plan they’d agreed on? But then Clarke remembered that Lexa hadn’t ever really said that she supported that plan. Lexa had always just wanted the acid fog down.

Realising that no one else was going to say anything, Clarke took a step forward, separating herself from the group.

“It’s still very close to the plan we originally had, Heda.” Clarke carefully explained, unable to read more than cold, calculating and that inconsolable sorrow in Lexa’s gaze.

“My people are still in their cages.” Lexa stated, as though Clarke hadn’t just gone through the plan of trying to get them out. But she decided to go with it, for the sake of everyone else in the room who couldn’t quite hide their worry and fear at the Heda’s opposition.

“Bellamy will still try to get to them…”

“This was not the plan. My people will not listen to the Boy.” Lexa stated and out the corner of her eye, Clarke could see Indra, Lincoln and Octavia nodding their agreement. “He is also on his own in enemy territory.”

“He said people are helping him…” Clarke chose to ignore the comment about the Grounders, because chances were slim that Bellamy would even get an attempt at freeing them.

“For all we know he has been captured already.”

In the few seconds since they spoke? It was possible, but really no reason for Lexa to base her dislike of the plan on.

“Now what do you want us to do then?” Clarke sighed.

_Stubborn vampire._

“I want you to think clearly, instead of rushing because you are relieved that he is alive.” Lexa sneered and Clarke was taken aback by the statement.

Was Lexa honestly jealous right now? Clarke would never have thought, under any circumstances, that Lexa would be petty. That Lexa would risk the lives of hundreds because she was insecure.

“This is so not the time for this.” Clarke muttered, irritated and befuddled.

“Do not mistake my precaution and disdain at the Boy’s foolishness for petty jealously, Klark.” Lexa quickly caught onto Clarke’s train of thought and swiftly derailed it.

 _Then what the hell is the problem?_ Clarke’s eyes frantically questioned Lexa.

“He had said that your people are being held captive as much as mine are. He is one man and has one woman helping him. Two against the Mountain. The acid fog is still up.”

“Okay, so we’ll wait.” Clarke conceded, tampering down her irritation at being reminded of the same fact over and over again. They’ve covered this, they know this. But through her agitation, Clarke remembered that this was Lexa. Lexa had a certain way of processing information, of relaying that information to Clarke until Clarke understood.

“We’ve made the acid fog our main priority.” Clarke reminded, since Lexa’s focus seems to be there. “What do you want us to do once he gets it down?”

Lexa didn’t show any emotion, but the lack of hardness showed Clarke that she had asked the right question. That she had factored correctly that this is the part of the plan that Lexa wanted to change.

Lexa walked back to the table, followed by Clarke, the rest of the room shuffling closer, but remaining a few feet away.

“The plan had been for Raven and Wick to sneak in and disable the turbines responsible for the electricity controlling the front door. The army would have marched and attacked once it was opened with the Hydrazine. Meanwhile, a separate party, led by Indra, would have entered through the tunnels where upon the Boy and Linkon would have opened the door there to free our people while the army occupies the _Maunon_ at the front.”

Everybody nodded that yes, that had been the plan.

“There are too many unknowns.” Lexa shook her head, brows furrowed in contemplation. “Without our people free to create chaos from the inside, the _Maunon_ would still be able to rally their forces. They have cameras throughout the Mountain to ascertain our movements. If they see us coming, they would have ambushes at each door, each entrance, preventing Raven from getting in or waiting for her once she does. They could start killing people out of spite. They could have set up their men with machine guns just behind the door we are attempting to open. I am not certain that attacking at this point in time is for the best.”

“Heda…” Clarke helplessly murmured, because _fuck_.

They really couldn’t wait any longer. Lexa was being clinical and logical, but people were dying up there. “They will kill everyone. They will kill Bellamy when they find him and we lose our advantage entirely. They’re harvesting the Sky People’s bone marrow. They’ll have to kill all of them and still they won’t have enough for all their people. They’ll continue killing your people to supplement the rest of them with blood, or maybe their bone marrow too and then they’re going to attack our camp to get all of my people for a more permanent cure.”

Lexa nodded. “And that is when we should strike.” The shock and confusion at the statement was unanimous but Lexa continued, her eyes firmly on Clarke. “They will not send a missile here. They need _Skaikru_ alive. They will come with their fog that renders one unconscious. That fog does not affect me. If the _Maunon_ so badly want to be out of their Mountain, let them come and see what awaits them.”

“And everyone else?” Clarke desperately asked. “You’re just going to let them die up there? Like their lives don’t matter?”

It was like they were the only two people in the room. The other’s just anxiously watching the standoff.

“Victory stands on the back of sacrifice, Klark.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Clarke shouted, breathing heavily as she was overcome with panic. Her friends in Mount Weather were counting on her. If they’ve made contact with Bellamy, they would have hope. They would think that help was on its way…

Clarke was vaguely aware of Kane ushering everyone out. Probably hoping Lexa wouldn’t kill Clarke for speaking to her like that if it was in private.

Lexa blankly tilted her head and stared at Clarke who was desperately struggling to calm herself.

“I know you’re mourning, Lexa,” she throatily croaked, swallowing thickly, “and you must hate me right now. I don’t blame you. I hate myself too. I cared about _Gostos_.” Lexa flinched at her brother’s name. “And I know that people have hurt you in the past and so now you’ve learned to distance yourself from them. That maybe you’ve disconnected from them so much that you aren’t able to see that their lives matter too… I really get why you might feel that a sacrifice so severe is justifiable because it would make the future safe for our people in the end.” Clarke inhaled shakily, grateful that Lexa was still listening to her. “But _please,_ Lexa… There are _hundreds_ in that Mountain. I saw all of those cages… Please don’t let them die. Please don’t let my people die. I have friends up there... People who are counting on me not to let them down…” Clarke shamelessly pleaded, almost saying that it was what Gustus would’ve wanted. But what Gustus would’ve wanted, was to not be used as emotional blackmail to force his sister into opening herself to the people she was afraid to get closer to. The people Lexa just saw as chess pieces to be coldly sacrificed in a war to topple King Wallace.

Lexa just stared at Clarke for long enough that Clarke wondered whether she’d heard a word Clarke had said.

“Indra!” Lexa called out, eyes still piercing into Clarke’s soul, not shifting away when Indra entered a few moments later. “I am leaving my army in your command. You will march with Klark of the Sky People and serve as my proxy during any further discussions of this assault.”

And with that, the Heda left the room.

* * *

 

Clarke’s legs were trembling as she leaned against the table, brows knitted and feeling confused as fuck.

 _What just happened_?

Lexa disagreed with the plan, but she still gave Clarke and entire army to execute it with… Was Clarke wrong to think that they should continue? Was she being impulsive? Had she in fact emotionally blackmailed Lexa into doing this?

She’d wasted enough time to try and figure it out though. She could think more on it later. For now, they needed to wait for Bellamy to check back in and hopefully get the acid fog down.

Clarke quickly arranged with Indra to send a messenger to the army. They would use a flare to contact them, and Clarke had to then patiently explain what a flare was and what it would look like. She shot one off, just to be sure they understood that that would be the signal for them to march on Mount Weather.

Clarke then went in search of Raven who had seemingly disappeared. And at the worst fucking time, because though Wick seemed like a nice enough guy, Clarke didn’t know him and therefore didn’t trust him. She needed Raven on the radio. She only trusted Raven with this.

After almost half an hour with no sign of Raven, Clarke started to panic. Camp Jaha wasn’t that big, and no one had left the grounds. They’d looked everywhere, and even as she thought it, Clarke’s eyes landed on the Dark Tent and her brows furrowed.

She determinedly started walking to the tent; needing to speak to Lexa anyway. But once she reached the flaps, all the false bravado left her and Clarke became doubtful all over again.

Lexa had teased before that Clarke never announced herself. Two days ago, Clarke wouldn’t have hesitated walking right in. But things have changed. Did she have any right to go in there?

Before she could think more on it, the flaps parted and Raven ducked out, eyes red-rimmed and glistening. The mechanic didn’t say word, just hooked her arm with Clarke’s and led her away from Lexa.

Confusion and jealously violently warred inside Clarke’s mind.

“Just give her a few moments.” Raven patiently suggested as she strolled with Clarke along the fence of Camp Jaha.

And it was just fucking weird seeing Raven this calm. Like she’d matured a decade since they’d landed on the Ground.

“She’s hurting –

\- don’t you think I know that?!” Clarke shouted, hurt and hating that Lexa had spoken to Raven. That Lexa had found someone else to confide in. Clarke realized she was being irrational and selfish; that she actually wanted Lexa to become closer to trustworthy people. But Clarke also knew that if she was more secure about the state of her and Lexa’s relationship, she would’ve been advocating for Raven and Lexa to become closer.

Raven ignored her as though Clarke was a child throwing a temper tantrum. Clarke stewed in her anger for a while longer as though she really was one and finally managed to calm herself down.

“What did she say to you?” Clarke whispered.

“She didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to say anything.” Raven softly answered. “I wondered what was up. And then when you and she got all intense over the plan and we decided to wait outside, O told Lincoln what happened to Gustus. That he had been the Heda’s brother. That Indra lady’s jaw hit the floor, even as Lincoln fell to his knees and looked like he was wishing for a whip for some self-flagellation. These grounders are fucking intense when it comes to their Heda. I would’ve laughed at both them, was it not such a fucked up thing to have happened to her.” Raven sadly sighed. “She spoke about him a lot that day she was here. Gustus did this, Gustus did that, Gustus helped me figure out this, Gustus and I have been together forever…” Raven’s smile faded, and she swallowed thickly. “Didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she was hurting like fucking hell.”  

Raven sort of was a rocket scientist, but Clarke chose not to remind her of that. Finding out what happened in that tent was more important. Raven seemed to catch on that Clarke was waiting for her to continue.

“So after she called in Indra and then left again, I followed her.” Raven smirked. “Stupid I know. But she helped me get things into perspective and I just wanted to do _something_ , I guess.” Raven shrugged. “She must’ve known I was following her but she went to her tent anyway and when I just stood outside like a dumbass, just like you did earlier, she called for me to come in.”

“It was fucking awkward, I tell you. I was about to leave, but she looked like she would cry at any second. And have you seen that woman’s sad face? Fuck, it’s all tragic and beautiful like some brilliant piece of art that just strangles you while you can’t help but stare at it.”

“So I hugged her. Was really all I could do. I’m not into hugging, but yeah. I had nothing else to give her. So that’s what happened. I wasn’t making a move on her or anything.”

Clarke relaxed, not having thought that Raven would ‘make a move’ on Lexa. She’d been jealous that she wasn’t the one Lexa was opening up to. Clarke had wanted Lexa all to herself. Wanted to show her remorse by being the one to help Lexa though this. She’d had a brief bout of emotional craziness. After the calming walk with Raven, Clarke could honestly say that she was relieved that Raven had reached out. And more so, that Lexa had allowed the brief closeness.

Lexa needed to know that she wasn’t alone. And now Clarke had yet another thing to be immensely grateful to Raven for.

* * *

 

Clarke’s soon found herself hesitating outside of the Dark Tent again. Was it fair to force her presence on Lexa like this? It wasn’t as though Clarke was doing this to assuage her own guilt. Clarke wanted to be there for Lexa. Even if Gustus hadn’t made her promise, Clarke would’ve still been there.

Clarke realized of course, that Lexa must know that she was out there, and yet hadn’t told her to ‘enter’ yet. The thought only increased Clarke’s anxiety, but she mustered all of her courage and ducked into the tent.

Lexa was standing in the center of the space, clearly having been staring at the flaps, not bothering to avert her dark gaze when Clarke met her eyes. The blonde wondered if she would ever see those beautiful green orbs again.

They stared at each other for a long moment, it was Clarke who broke under the tension first.

“I can’t begin to apologise enough for what happened…” She softly murmured, her eyes already stinging with tears. “If it hadn’t been for _Gostos_ , I would probably never have gotten to know the real you. He really was something else, and in the short time I knew him, I came to care about him a lot.” Clarke swallowed anxiously. “I never meant for this to happen… I don’t think I’ll ever stop wishing that I’d thought more before running off after Octavia. I never thought – I should’ve known better. I should’ve –“ Clarke hiccupped and wiped at her tears as she choked on her words. They sounded empty, so meaningless, so she just stopped before she made everything worse.

Lexa just blankly stared at her while Clarke silently cried, wanting to run away, but feeling as though she deserved the judgement.

“ _Gostos_ is dead because he saved you…” Lexa finally whispered, the anguish in her voice excruciatingly evident.

Clarke didn’t think she could feel worse, but that sure as fuck did it.

“He is dead because of you!” Lexa shouted, her eyes brimming with tears, fangs slightly bared as she panted in distress, fists tightly clenched at her sides.

 Clarke just swallowed at the knot in her throat, nodding mindlessly and took the verbal assault.

“Do you have any idea how this is tearing me apart?” Lexa wheezed out through a tight throat. “To wish that he was never in that forest to begin with and still be so incredibly _grateful_ that you are alive?”

Clarke’s eyes widened in surprise and _finally_ she understood. Because it had confused her the way Lexa had reacted to her in forest with Gustus’s body. How Lexa had allowed Clarke to be there even though she’d growled Octavia away… Why Lexa had allowed Clarke to console her in the rain, only to push her away again… Clarke finally understood how conflicted Lexa has been. She’d never even considered the possibility that Lexa would be happy that she was alive, and Clarke wasn’t sure whether it made her feel better or worse.

“ _Gostos_ is dead...” Lexa softly reiterated through trembling lips, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. “And you are alive because he is dead.” She mindlessly mumbled. “If I wish him alive again, does that mean I wish death on you?” She seemed to desperately ask Clarke. “How can I be _happy_ that you are alive while my heart lays shattered in my chest at the loss of my brother?!”

Clarke’s chest wouldn’t stop painfully constricting at Lexa’s words. It physically fucking hurt: her clenching heart and throbbing head. Even her tears seemed to burn Clarke as they hotly ran down her face.

“I wish I could change what happened.” Clarke huskily and honestly confessed.

“He would save you each and every time, no matter what.” Lexa harshly chastised, her tone a mix of anger and pride.

Clarke wasn’t sure if the anger was at her or Gustus. But what she did realise though, was that Gustus had saved her, maybe because he was Clarke’s friend, but most surely because of who Clarke was to Lexa. Clarke had looked passed the guilt she’d noticed on the vampire before, but now it was glaringly obvious:

Lexa blamed _herself_ for Gustus’s sacrifice.

And didn’t Clarke fucking know all too well about that kind of destructive thoughts. So she decided to keep the focus on her. She would gladly carry this burden on her own, especially if it meant Lexa could mourn her brother without that shadow looming over her.

“I wish you didn’t have to lose him, even if that meant that I would lose you… But I can’t change the past, _Leksa_.” Clarke rasped and slowly walked forward. “No matter how much I wish I could. All I can do is be here now, if you’ll only let me… I know I’m being selfish, and if you realise somewhere along the line that you can’t be around me anymore, just tell me and I’ll back off… But I don’t want to lose you.” Clarke stopped an arm’s length away, eyes locked with the vampire staring back at her; a plethora of emotions swirling in her dark eyes. “I _can’t_ lose you…”

Clarke’s breath hitched when Lexa slowly moved toward her, the vampire’s eyes fluttering closed, blinking away a few more tears. Clarke exhaled sharply and her own eyes squeezed shut, as Lexa’s nose tentatively pressed into her hair. Clarke trembled when a soft cheek, gently caressed her own and whimpered when after she tilted her head, Lexa instantly pressed her face into Clarke’s neck.

Lexa didn’t graze her teeth over Clarke’s pulse point. Lexa didn’t purr at all.

But Lexa breathed in a deep shuddering breath of Clarke’s scent and tenderly wrapped the blonde in her arms.

“Please don’t push me away.” Clarke inadvertently blurted as she clung onto Lexa, pressing her face into Lexa’s hair, inhaling as many lungfuls of Lexa’s scent as she possibly could. “I know I’m no replacement, but fuck, _Leksa_ , just let me try and be here for you.”

Lexa didn’t say anything, not that Clarke had any idea how anyone in Lexa’s position would even respond to such a plea, but when those large black wings gently wrapped around her, and Lexa’s arms pulled her impossibly close, Clarke had all the answer she needed.

* * *

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

 

It was awkward.

And not that same nervously-excited-with-a-hint-of-fear-for-her-life kind of awkward that Clarke had experienced that day at Lexa’s waterfall when she’d first learned the Heda’s name. No, this awkwardness was slathered in hesitancy, guilt and heart-wrenching melancholy.

It was stifling.

Clarke anxiously stood in front Lexa who was just quietly staring off at nothing. Over the time they’d spent together, Clarke had learned to read Lexa’s eyes, her smirks and smiles, her growls and purrs... But now it felt as though Clarke needed to learn the vampire all over again.

They’d hugged, which was good. Lexa had let go first, which was maybe bad, but unlike their last few encounters, Lexa hadn’t left. _Yet_. Or maybe she was waiting for Clarke to leave since it was her tent? Clarke opened her mouth to ask, but then shut it again. She didn’t want to give Lexa the opportunity to tell her to go away.

Clarke then wracked her brain on what to say.

She’d apologized profusely, and there really comes a time where you have to draw the line to prevent the apology from coming across as disingenuous. Grounders believed more in showing their remorse, didn’t they?

Clarke had desperately begged Lexa to let her be there for her, all the while terrified that she would lose Lexa and be left alone to lead a bunch of people who constantly doubted her and ran off to do whatever the hell they wanted. Things had been a lot worse before Clarke had met Lexa though. _Everything_ had been worse. Clarke hadn’t thought it possible to be happy on the Ground, but Lexa had changed that perception. Lexa boosted Clarke’s confidence, offered her guidance and made Clarke happy without even trying…

“Thank you for bringing our belongings.” Lexa suddenly whispered and Clarke all but jumped out of her own skin at the sound, having been completely lost in thought.

“You’re welcome...” Clarke breathed, her heart beating furiously and picking up speed when Lexa’s brows furrowed and Clarke wondered whether Lexa thought Clarke was afraid of her again.

“I-I’m…” She trailed off when Lexa stepped closer, into her personal space and had to tilt her head up to look into Lexa’s intense eyes. “I’m n-not afraid of you…” Clarke stuttered out her reassurance, exhaling softly when Lexa ducked her head down and gently rested their foreheads together.

“I know, Klark.” Lexa softly murmured and tenderly slid her nose against Clarke’s, inhaling deeply, before she slowly stepped away again.

The brief contact had served its purpose and managed to somewhat calm Clarke’s flailing nerves.

“I will not be marching with you against the _Maunon_.” Lexa stated, still staring deep into Clarke’s eyes.

Clarke nodded, she hadn’t even had time to think about Lexa changing her mind since the vampire had last said that she wouldn’t. Lexa might not think that it was the best plan, but she never said that it couldn’t still work.

“I understand.”

Lexa cocked her head to the side at Clarke’s admission. “Do you?”

Clarke thought about it some more and then nodded again. “I do.”

Lexa slowly tilted her head to the other side. It would’ve been cute, had her eyes not still been that sorrowful black and the rest of her features not remained impassive.

“You don’t support the plan.” Clarke tried to clarify, even though her first response had been to say that Lexa was still hurting and shouldn’t be fighting in any wars at the moment.

“No. I do not.” Lexa absently answered, eyes shifting away as though she too was thinking on the answer Clarke had left unsaid.

“And you still gave me an army.”

It came out more like a question than the gratitude Clarke had been going for. And she really hated how out of sync they’d become. Everything just felt so off and forced.

“The generals and representatives of the clans have all agreed to your plan.” Lexa thankfully chose to answer her. “They will fight this war because I command that they do, but they also fight because that is what _they_ need to do.”

Clarke frowned in question, waiting patiently till Lexa finally made eye contact again.

“For decades, their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, _houmons_ and _yongons,_ have been reaped by the _Maunon_.” Lexa sadly rasped. “Some have hope to be reunited, others have a want for retribution. So yes, my army marches with you, because that is what I command of them, but they also march with you, because that is what they need to do after having been helpless to do anything but mourn the loss of those they loved for so long. Much like you, Klark, their only wish is to do everything in their power to save their people.”

Lexa’s jaw twitched and she visibly swallowed, obsidian eyes never leaving Clarke’s face.

“I am allowing the execution of a plan I do not support because of that reason, yes. But I am also allowing it because you had asked it of me.”

Clarke’s brows rose into her hairline.

“I may not be able to stand at your side when you face the _Maunon_ , Klark, but I promise that you will be protected.” Lexa earnestly continued on. “ _Gostos_ had decided that you must live and I will honour his sacrifice by doing everything I am able to, to ensure that you do. I do this for my brother and I selfishly do it for me. This is my vow to you, _Klark kom Skaikru_. You will _live_ as _Gostos_ had wanted. And I will treat your people as my own. When _Skaikru_ march on _Maun-de_ , it will be as the thirteenth clan and part of my coalition.”

In that moment, Clarke had never wanted to kiss anyone more in her entire life.

Clarke’s breath hitched and stood there, tensed, focused on keeping still, the lump in her throat throbbing, her heart soaring. Clarke felt dizzy with adoration and admiration for the woman standing in front of her.

Lexa’s brows knitted with worry and she cautiously stepped forward.

Clarke felt as though her heart wouldn’t be able to take much more and had to clench her hands into fists to keep from launching herself into Lexa’s arms. The vampire gently cupped Clarke’s jawline, searching Clarke’s eyes from inches away.

“Breathe, Klark.” Lexa kindly whispered and no wonder Clarke had felt seconds away from passing out.

And when had Clarke picked up this habit of holding her breath while she tried to contain in her storming emotions? She drew in a sharp breath, grateful and disappointed when Lexa stepped away to give her some space.

How embarrassing was that? It wasn’t even the first time it had happened.

A cup of water was pressed under her nose. Clarke wasn’t even sure when Lexa had moved to pour her some, but gratefully accepted the cup and greedily gulped it down.

All this crying really dehydrated a person.

“ _Mochof, Leksa_.” Clarke bashfully murmured for the water and for what Lexa had just said, to which the Heda politely nodded her head and Clarke wondered how long it would take before Lexa would be able to smile again.

Lexa returned the glass to the table next to her basin and turned around to face Clarke.

“Go be a leader to our people, Klark.” Lexa softly commanded and Clarke obediently nodded, pride swelling in her chest, because Lexa might not believe in the plan, but she did believe in Clarke. “Would you send Indra to speak with me though?” The Heda requested. “It will not take long and I will send her to you thereafter so you may finalise the details of your assault.”

“Okay. Sure thing.” Clarke easily agreed. If Indra was serving as Lexa’s proxy, then the Heda would need to give her instructions.

Clarke’s not gonna lie. She would’ve felt a hundred times better with Lexa at her side. But as far as second choices went. Indra wasn’t a bad one. She was the kind of warrior you wanted on your side instead of against you.

“Can I… May I…” Clarke nervously cleared her throat. “Would it be okay with you, if I came back here after we’ve sorted everything out?”

“Yes.” Lexa immediately answered, face still blank, but the corners of her eyes and mouth had softened at the request. “Please.” She softly added, her dark eyes swirling with too many emotions for Clarke’s aching chest to process.

Clarke smiled. It felt weird and made her face hurt, but it also felt good. It felt like hope.

She jerkily nodded her relief and quickly left the tent, before she didn’t leave at all.

* * *

 

“Since Indra will be needed at the front door with the army, I’m going to need you and Lincoln to take a group into the tunnels and wait there for Bell to let the prisoners out.” Clarke addressed Octavia, who looked surprised at being given the responsibility.

They were all gathered around the map in the Engineer room again to finalise the plan.

Clarke had chosen Octavia because the Tunnel Team consisted of Arkers and Indra’s Seconds and Octavia would be able to effectively communicate with both groups, especially with Lincoln at her side.

Clarke wasn’t naïve enough to believe that everyone would be able to escape through the tunnels undetected, but it would definitely serve as another access point, should things go wrong at the main door.

“I wish to stay at your side, Clarke.” Lincoln stoically declared and intently waited for Clarke’s response.

Not able to hide her surprise and confusion, Clarke blatantly gaped at him. Quite honestly, she never thought that Lincoln liked her that much. She’s wanted to befriend him, but there hadn’t exactly been time for that. His request was baffling, as was Octavia’s silent support of it as they both stood awaiting Clarke’s answer in anticipation.

Clarke had thought that they would want to remain together.

“For Heda.” Lincoln added, his jaw clenching furiously as he averted his gaze.

_Oh._

Clarke bit her lip and swallowed thickly as she slowly nodded in understanding. “Okay.” She husked and rapidly blinked her eyes, before settling her gaze on Wick.

“Do you have the handhelds ready to stay in contact with Raven when you go for the turbines?”

“I’ll be going with him.” Raven resolutely declared.

Of course Clarke had anticipated this. Lexa had even included Raven in her summary of the plan. Clarke really didn’t want Raven to go. If they got into trouble, they would need to run. Raven could still easily guide Wick – who was competent enough to understand and improvise – through what needed to be happen via radio. She didn’t need to physically be there.

“We only have three handhelds.” Raven explained. “You, me and O will each have one and will stay in touch at the various points of attack and hopefully make contact with Bell too. I’ll get the electricity down, don’t worry about it.”

Clarke and Raven glared at each other for a long intense moment until Clarke finally sighed in defeat and Raven instantly smirked in victory.

“Heda said that the Reapers are too far gone to be saved, unlike Lincoln had been.” Clarke moved on with the meeting and then looked to O. “If any of them attack you, you need to take them out.”

It was Lincoln who nodded his agreement of the decision first, followed closely by Octavia. Clarke wasn’t going to ask what Lincoln had seen the Reapers do. The warnings Lexa and Gustus had given had been enough.

“Kane.” She turned to look at the man who’d been surprisingly quiet thus far. “I need you to take a few men and fetch my mom and the villagers where the army waits.” Clarke then turned to Indra. “Your people are welcome to set up camp here until arrangements can be made to rebuild your village.”

Indra looked surprised at the hospitality.

“I would much rather go with you to Mount Weather.” Kane decided to interject in the plan.

And really? Did everyone need to disagree with her about everything?

“I need you to get Mom and come back, because if things go bad at the Mountain, I’ll need you to take charge here.” Clarke emphatically stared at him, knowing that Kane wanted to babysit her for her mother’s sake, much like Lincoln felt that he needed to for his Heda.

“The Ton DC villagers will need to be made comfortable. I’m leaving half of the Ark guards and some of Indra’s warriors to protect those who stay behind. You will need to make sure that they don’t fight amongst each other.”

Kane sighed, but nodded, it was the best plan considering the children they had at Camp Jaha. Not everyone would be able to pick up a weapon and run up to the Mountain.

“I agree with Klark.” Indra finally spoke. She’d already had her meeting with Lexa and hadn’t said a word about any specific instructions from the Heda that Clarke needed to be privy to. “Those who are unable to fight, will be safe here. I will instruct my warriors to give you their cooperation.” Indra told Kane, who smiled his gratitude.

The Grounders could really be a stubborn bunch when they had time.

“Okay.” Clarke breathed in relief. “Anything else we’re forgetting?”

Everyone shook their heads no.

“Good.” Clarke straightened up. “Lincoln, Wick, O and Raven, arrange for cots to be brought in here. Take turns watching the radio for when Bell makes contact again and get some sleep. Indra, would you mind sending two of your men with Kane, so he can leave now to fetch everyone before the army marches and leaves them unprotected?”

Indra nodded.

“Thanks. We have some space in the Ark for your people, or they can set up their tents outside. I’ll instruct Jackson to see to whatever you may need.”

“ _Mochof_.” Indra whispered, her face still stoic, but Clarke knew that she was grateful that her people would be safe while the warriors went to war.

“Great!” Clarke clapped her hands together. “Rest up, polish your blades and clean your guns. _Eat something._ ” She playfully glared at Raven who just huffed out a chuckle. “I’ll be with Heda, so please don’t bother me unless it’s an emergency or the acid fog is finally down.”

After that statement, Clarke purposely avoided eye contact with everyone and swiftly exited the room.

* * *

 

Clarke stood outside of the Dark Tent, a tray of food in her hands, hesitating and staring at the flaps covering the entrance. Yet again.

Lexa enjoyed meat and Clarke had been relieved to find that the Grounders had hunted and prepared a meal for their Heda without being asked to. She suspected that it had been under Indra’s instruction. They were even sharing with the Arkers who had all stood around the giant fire, mouths watering as the scent of food tickled their nostrils.

The smell made Clarke feel nauseous though. Or maybe it was just the doubt pooling in her belly.

“Come in, Klark.” Lexa’s voice called from inside and Clarke felt her cheeks tinting red with embarrassment and also because she remembered the last time she’d brought Lexa food at Camp Jaha.

She quickly entered to find Lexa standing in the exact place she’d left her… Had the vampire moved at all? Clarke frowned to herself, but walked over to the table and set out their plates. She pretended to be confident as she walked over to the basin and poured each of them a cup of water.

She needed to be strong for Lexa now. So Clarke pulled out a chair for Lexa and went to sit down in the one next to it and waited.

Lexa took the hint, glided over to the table and lowered herself into the seat. She then promptly proceeded to stare at her food.

She looked tired.

Clarke couldn’t remember ever seeing Lexa tired before. The last time she’d looked so fatigued had been after donating most of her blood to the injured in Ton DC.

“Would you prefer some blood?” Clarke softly asked, mentally bracing herself when that obsidian stare rested on her.

“No.” Lexa husked. “Thank you, Klark. I had taken enough from the Mountain Man to last me a few days more.”

So it was the heartache then that was causing Lexa’s weariness. Clarke idly wondered what would happen in ‘a few days more’ when Lexa needed to feed again. Would she accept Clarke’s blood if it was offered to her?

“Eat something then.” Clarke gently prodded, swallowing dryly before she placed some roasted vegetables in her own mouth and forced her jaws to chew.

Lexa didn’t argue and instead slowly started eating too. The vampire only seemed to eat because Clarke was eating. So the blonde made a conscious effort to eat as much as she could, not really sure whether Lexa actually needed food or not.

They continued on in silence, until Clarke couldn’t stomach the food any longer and pushed her plate away. As predicted, Lexa didn’t even pretend to continue with hers and did the same, softly thanking Clarke for the meal.

Clarke was thinking on what to do next. Whether she should speak about Gustus? If Lexa wanted to speak about him. Whether Lexa would want to know the particulars of what had happened before she had arrived to save them. But if Octavia had been telling Lincoln about it outside of the Engineering room, Clarke was certain that Lexa already knew most of it.

Did the details even matter now?

“I am tired, Klark.” Lexa weakly declared and got up from her seat.

Clarke wanted to tell her to lay down for a bit, but Lexa was already peeling the leather from her body, causing Clarke to instantly shut up. Realising that Lexa was stripping naked, Clarke looked away, awkwardly staring at the ceiling for a long moment before she rolled her eyes at herself and looked at Lexa again to find the vampire laying on her furs, obsidian eyes studying Clarke.

The blonde bit her lip, trying not to let her eyes wander. She wasn’t under any misapprehension that this was an attempt at sex from Lexa. Clarke knew that Lexa was most comfortable naked. And yet, for some inexplicable reason, Clarke stood and stripped down too.

Slowly she walked over to the bed and laid down on her back next to Lexa, a giant black wing – thankfully somewhat retracted – separating them, both staring up at the canopy of the tent.

“May I hold you?” Clarke whispered, biting her lip and turned her head to look at Lexa.

The vampire’s eyes fluttered closed, before she softly exhaled and then shifted onto her side, perching on her elbow. For a moment, Lexa looked as awkward and uncertain as Clarke felt, but when Clarke stretched out and arm, Lexa pulled her wings toward her body, and curled herself into Clarke’s side, resting her head onto Clarke’s shoulder.

Clarke inhaled a deep breath of Lexa’s hair, and wrapped both of her arms around the suddenly tiny vampire. Every part of Clarke seemed to be aware of every part of Lexa. The way the vampire’s soft breaths tickled over Clarke’s chest. The way Lexa’s heart beat strong and steady against Clarke’s ribs. Lexa’s arm, holding onto Clarke’s waist in a way that felt needy and yet still somehow protective.

She couldn’t remember ever having shared such a deep level of intimacy with anyone before.

They just lay like that for a long time, Clarke gently brushing her fingers through Lexa’s silky hair in a gesture that seemed to pacify them both, and yet all Clarke could think was how _quiet_ it was. The absence of Lexa’s soft purring was deafening in the intimate silence.

“I feel as though it is my curse in life, that I only be allowed to care for one person at a time.”

Clarke’s heart painfully contracted at the soft, defeated statement and she squeezed Lexa closer to her. She wondered whether Lexa was allowing Clarke’s comfort because she didn’t have anyone else to turn to, or whether Lexa wanted Clarke there, because she actually wanted _Clarke_ there…

“I grew fast.” Lexa whispered, breath warm across Clarke’s chest. “In my tenth year, I already looked as I do now. Only my wings had been grey…”

“They change colour?” Clarke murmured in awe, gently stroking her fingers over the smooth, jet black feathers.

“They had been white when I was born. Small and delicate. Unable to carry my weight. But I remember that it had been in my tenth year that they had grown large enough to allow me to finally fly…”

Clarke smiled at her next thought: “How many times had you tried to fly before then?”

She could feel Lexa’s mouth twitch against her skin, cursing the fact that she couldn’t see it, but her heart fluttered nonetheless.

“Too many times…” Lexa softly replied. “ _Gostos_ , in his twenty-sixth year at the time, constantly complained that I would give him grey hairs. I would just reply that he would then match my feathers.”

Clarke lightly chuckled and her chest constricted as she felt a tear sliding onto her chest and Lexa’s arm tightening around her waist.

“My tenth year had been significant for another reason as well.” Lexa hoarsely stated and Clarke listened quietly as she scraped her nails against Lexa’s scalp. “For as long as I could remember, I had one recurrent dream. Of a man with grey eyes - cold and angry - shouting words I did not understand at first, as he walked towards me. I felt frightened, but warm and protected still and when I looked away from the man, I looked up into a woman’s face, with eyes like mine… For years I had asked _Gostos_ if he knew who they were. He had only told me that it was a dream, but in my tenth year I had found a book on dreams and it stated that one only dreamt of things that our minds have seen. Which meant that I had seen this man and woman before. But it had only been _Gostos_ and myself, trying to survive in the winds, sandstorms and acid rain that had plagued the Earth in the wake of the bombs. We had yet to meet any other survivors… I could have seen the man and woman in pictures, of course, but once the thought had seeded in my brain, I was convinced that it was a memory manifesting itself in my dreams; even more convinced that the man and the woman, were my parents.”

Clarke listened intently, her mind working overtime at the implications.

“Finally, after I had threatened to go off on my own to find answers, _Gostos_ agreed to take me to our home. To where I had been born. To where I had lost my parents just a few months after the bombs had destroyed the world.”

“You remembered them as a baby?” Clarke whispered in wonderment. Because if they’d died the year the bombs had dropped, then Lexa had still been a baby. Even if she grew twice as fast, she would still have been only a few months old.

“Yes...” Lexa rasped and Clarke’s hand travelled down her back in comfort. “But not before _Gostos_ had taken me to the bomb shelter below the ruins of our house and I had seen the pictures of the family that had been mine. I had not been in any of those photographs…”

Lexa clung tighter to Clarke who held her back with as much force, not sure what she would hear next. She’d always thought that Lexa called Gustus ‘brother’ because that was someone he’d become over the years. She’d never thought that he’d actually been a blood relative.

“He did not tell me everything that day. I might have looked older, but I had still been too young to comprehend it. Over the years though, as my dream became clearer and my questions increased, I was finally able to learn what had happened. Why _Gostos_ and I had been orphaned… It hadn’t been because of the bombs. The three of them had survived it…”

“After two months in the shelter, when their rations started to run low, my father ventured out and did not return for two weeks. My mother had told _Gostos_ to stay and went in search for other survivors, or for him. _Gostos_ believes –“ Lexa’s breath hitched, “- _Gostos_ believed,” she corrected and Clarke’s eyes burned when she felt another tear falling onto her chest, “he believed that our mother had gone so that there would be more supplies for him.”

Clarke nodded, she had no doubt in her mind that her own mother would do the same thing.

“A few days later, our father returned with a few supplies he had scavenged. He did not leave again to look for his wife. _Gostos_ had tried to go himself, but he was sixteen years old and our father had not been a good man… _Gostos_ was not sure how much time had passed, perhaps it had been another month, but our mother finally returned. He said that she was different then. She barely spoke, which made our father angry. Before she would always smile to reassure _Gostos_ that she was alright, but she barely looked at them and Gostos had to force her to eat... Years later, when he had described her as the woman she had been before the bombs, the books I have read seemed to suggest that she had suffered some trauma in her absence. Not unlikely, considering the way the world had been back then…”

“They had never discerned what might have happened to her while she was missing… Only that her belly had started to rapidly grow and within another two months she had carried me to term.” Lexa took a deep breath and Clarke held her tighter. “Our father had been furious. He blamed her for what- _who_ I am. He said he had not touched her and that she should never have returned to them. _Gostos_ protected her though. He was young, but he had already been taller than our father…” Lexa exhaled and rubbed her wet cheek against Clarke’s chest.

“On the day of my birth, everything fell apart. I remember only what I had seen in my dream, my father enraged and storming toward me. _Gostos_ had said that it had been the first time he’d seen our mother smile in months. She had smiled at me as she held me in her arms, even as my father professed me to be a demon that needed to die… Where before she had been nearly catatonic, she had smiled at me and wanted me... My father - I do not think he had been my father…” Lexa whispered. “But I will call him that because I do not want to consider the alternative…”

“I do not remember much else, but that look in his eyes that told me what his intention was. _Gostos_ took me before he reached me though and hid us away. He had not known that our father had lost his mind entirely and would kill our mother that day. When he came for us next, _Gostos_ protected us in the only way he knew how.”

Clarke’s chest was wet and her own tears ran down her temples. She didn’t know what to say, so she pressed a soft, lingering kiss on top of Lexa’s head.

“ _Gostos_ had protected me since the day I was born. He did not care that I was different, only that I was his sister. He was all that I have ever had, my only family. My best friend. He had been everything to me…”

* * *

 

Lexa had cried herself to sleep in Clarke’s arms, still tightly clinging onto Clarke. The blonde was wide awake though. Her own tears having dried, her fingers still absently running through Lexa’s hair and her heart still painfully throbbing in her chest.

Clarke would protect Lexa like she’d promised _Gostos_ she would and because she wanted to with all her heart. Lexa was probably the strongest being on Earth, and yet she was still so implausibly fragile at the same time. All her life others had seen Lexa’s differences and tried to exploit them or persecute her for them. All Clarke saw when she looked at Lexa though, was how unbelievably special she was.

“ _Griffin!_ ” A loud whisper sounded from outside the tent, jerking Clarke from her fond appraisal of the vampire nestled in her arms.

She could hear that it was Raven, and her heart thudded with anxiety as to why the mechanic had come to seek her out.

Looking down at the vampire moulded to her side, Clarke seriously contemplated leaving the entire attack for another day and just staying there with Lexa. But Lexa had placed her trust in Clarke and Clarke was going to make her proud.

As slowly and quietly as possible, Clarke tried to move away from the vampire without disturbing her. Lexa woke regardless, whether from feeling Clarke’s attempt at escaping her tight embrace, or another low whisper-shout from Raven, Clarke didn’t know, and she forgot all about Raven when Lexa lifted her head, and green eyes pierced right into her soul.

Their eyes remained locked as Clarke rapidly read the emotions flitting across Lexa’s face before the vampire got stuck at anguish and her eyes instantly grew dark again. Clarke wrapped a hand around Lexa’s shoulders and pressed the vampire’s face back into her neck.

She knew that there had been a brief moment where Lexa had forgotten her loss. And having experienced that feeling of lightness to only remember what had happened later, was something Clarke was unfortunately well acquainted with too. When that awful reality sunk back in, it hurt like a knife to the gut, the blade twisting to make it that extra bit of painful.

When Raven called a third time, Clarke finally remembered why Lexa had woken, and so did the vampire who shifted slightly away, but continued to lay at Clarke’s side.

“Tell her to enter.” Lexa whispered, resting her head in the crook of Clarke’s arm.

Clarke was fine with Raven seeing them in such an intimate position, but not so much with her seeing Lexa naked.

“We’re naked, _Leksa_ …” Clarke mumbled, because she was sure that Lexa needed the reminder and then smiled when a large black wing covered her a second later. “ _You’re_ still naked…” Clarke pointed out as her eyes travelled down Lexa’s perfectly sculpted backside.

It was a few quick movements and a second or two later and they were both covered with a fur blanket up to their hips and Lexa’s one wing hid the rest as it covered them both. Clarke grinned and kissed Lexa on her forehead before she called out for Raven to come in.

Clarke was sure had she been laying as she was with anyone else, Raven would’ve already made three different comments to embarrass and/or tease her. Instead, the mechanic halted just inside of the tent, eyes sparkling in delight, but maintained her cool as her gaze settled on Clarke.

“The fog is down.” Was all Raven said and Clarke’s heart jumped so violently that Lexa shifted her head to look up at Clarke, who instantly pressed it back down, before Raven got an eyeful of Lexa’s lovely chest.

She cleared her throat and looked to her friend who knew exactly why Clarke had made that particular move.

“Thanks, Raven. Please send up a flare to signal the army. If they start marching immediately, we will need to leave here in about four hours to meet them at the rendezvous point. Anything else we need to worry about?”

They would be using horses and carts that would cut their journey time a lot shorter. Clarke was grateful for the extra time to prepare to leave Lexa.

“Nope. You just keep on doing what you’re doing in here. We all know what we need to do out there.” Raven’s eyes were mischievous yet warm and Clarke smiled back in gratitude.

Raven exited without saying anything else.

* * *

 

Clarke mentally ran a checklist of everything they needed before they met with the army at the foot of Mount Weather. Earlier, she’d forgotten about the drill that would be needed to bore a hole into the main door so the hydrazine could be placed within it and made a mental note to retrieve it from the safe later. 

They had limited weapons at Camp Jaha, but needed to take enough to at least attempt to counter Mount Weather’s guns without leaving the camp vulnerable. The Grounder archers might actually be more proficient than the Ark guards who didn’t really have any battle experience.

After, rechecking her mental list, Clarke shifted in Lexa’s arms, turning onto her side to look at the vampire having patiently waited for Clarke to finish, as though Lexa somehow knew what she’d been doing.

“Hey…” Clarke whispered, running her eyes over Lexa’s face and wasn’t Raven right though? Even in her melancholy, Lexa remained breathtakingly beautiful.

Lexa’s lips tilted up at one corner, and she reached up a hand between them to cup Clarke’s neck, a thumb lazily brushing up Clarke’s jaw.

“After this is over,” Lexa whispered, “I would like to show you Polis.”

Clarke smiled broadly, more out of relief that Lexa wasn’t planning on being gone when she returned.

“I would really like that.” Clarke murmured back and moved her own hand to cup Lexa’s face.

“I wish you would not go…” Lexa confessed and guiltily stared at Clarke’s chin.

Clarke also wished that she didn’t have to go, but she couldn’t leave her people now.

“I know that you cannot.” Lexa answered herself and Clarke twisted her neck to press her lips to the tip of Lexa’s thumb at her jawline.

If anything, Clarke wished that Lexa would come with her. If only to reassure Clarke in person that she could pull this off.

“Ask me…” Lexa softly demanded, staring into Clarke’s eyes again with a resolute gaze.

Clarke knew exactly what Lexa wanted her to ask. Lexa wanted Clarke to ask her to go with her. And Clarke knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if she asked, Lexa would do exactly that. But Lexa had given Clarke and army, she’d given Clarke the confidence to lead that army and not take any shit from anyone. What Lexa needed to do, was mourn her brother in peace. Clarke wasn’t going to ask anymore from Lexa given the magnitude of her loss.

“You’ve done more than enough.” Clarke husked back, leaning in to gently press a kiss onto Lexa’s lips.

She pulled back before Lexa responded, but was warmed when Lexa’s eyes remained closed for a second longer, before they fluttered open and Clarke’s breath was stolen by the rawness of the emotions reflecting in Lexa’s eyes in that moment.

Clarke almost told Lexa that she loved her then, having to physically bite her tongue to stop herself from doing so.

The vampire already looked overwhelmed enough as it was. So Clarke just shifted closer and rested her forehead against Lexa’s and closed her eyes. She wouldn’t sleep, but she would enjoy basking in Lexa’s warmth and scent for as long as she possibly could.

“Will you take my blood?” Lexa whispered.

Clarke wasn’t sure whether she’d heard correctly, but when it finally registered, she shifted away and sat up, Lexa hesitantly following to do the same.

“It will not make you stronger or faster…” Lexa trailed off and Clarke could hear the loud resounding ‘ _yet_ ’ left unsaid between them. “But it will enhance your senses and increase your stamina.”

Clarke seriously considered it for a moment. She felt as though someone was offering her drugs. Surely there must be some moral dilemma here that she was supposed to contemplate? Yet her only reservation was that Lexa’s blood was her own and nobody should be taking it from her to benefit from its effects.

“I appreciate the offer, Gorgeous… But you don’t have to do this. Indra and Lincoln are gonna be there with me, so I’ll be safe.” Clarke tried to reassure.

Lexa’s head ducked down and she stared at her hands, gently rubbing them together in an obviously nervous tell Clarke had never witnessed before.

“Do you not want to taste my blood?” Lexa asked, brows knitting furiously and Clarke could practically see the cogs working in Lexa’s brain, fighting for an against the theory that Clarke thought of Lexa’s blood as disgusting.

“I want to.” Clarke realised that she meant it as the words easily left her mouth. “I just don’t want you to feel obligated to give your blood to me…”

Lexa nodded her understanding, head still ducked down. “I would very much like to share my blood with you, Klark.”

She seemed almost shy as she said it, staring at Clarke through her long, dark, lashes. And no way in hell would Clarke be able to say ‘no’ to that look.

“Okay, let’s do it.”

* * *

 

They stood in front of the basin, still naked, Clarke didn’t mind that, and Lexa seemed tensed and distracted as she rinsed out a cup and retrieved her knife, so Clarke chose to forego mentioning it at all.

“Since you are not injured and this is your first time taking my blood, you may experience…” She tilted her head in thought, speaking to the cup and blade in her hands. “… _Euphoria_ for a few minutes.” Lexa looked up at Clarke and then to the cup and blade again. “The first time _Gostos_ had tasted my blood… I had been feeling very… _different_. I had been feeding from him my entire life and the guilt at that had become overwhelming.” Lexa chuckled softly, a sad smile pulling at her lips. “He insisted that I return the favour then.” She finally looked at Clarke again. “I never thought he would actually drink my blood, but he had. Just to make me feel better. He had gulped it down before I could stop him and say that he did not need to.” Lexa smiled a little brighter, that sparkle returning to her eyes and Clarke experienced a feeling of euphoria before even drinking any of Lexa’s blood. “I had to chase him around the forest as he searched for the ocean, because he _needed_ to go for a swim in _salty waters_.”

Clarke laughed at that image, but then gradually frowned.

“He had taken too much.” Lexa murmured, following Clarke’s thoughts. “I will give you less and will make sure you remain safe. Most people used to only quietly sit in a corner until the initial effect had passed.” Lexa reassured.

Clarke nodded because though she didn’t like not knowing what was going to happen, she did trust that Lexa wouldn’t allow anything bad to happen to her.

“Are you ready, Klark?” Lexa asked. “If you are not comfortable, you do not need to do this. It is your choice.”

“No. I’m ready.” Clarke stated confidently and took the cup from Lexa.

The vampire then placed her wrist over the cup and easily sliced through her skin. Clarke wasn’t sure why she thought Lexa would do a countdown or something. But it was Lexa, Clarke should’ve known better. She looked up at Lexa who was intently staring at Clarke as the blood slowly dripped from her wrist and into the cup.

Clarke wasn’t sure what came over her then, but she removed the cup and placed it next to the basin. She then took hold of Lexa’s forearm, bent her head down and pressed her lips over Lexa’s bleeding wrist.

It tasted like… blood.

Clarke wasn’t sure what she’d expected exactly. It tasted exactly like human blood, she determined, while she gently lapped at Lexa’s wrist. Her eyes shifted up though and connected with the wide surprised features of the Heda: wings drawn back, eyebrows high on her head and lips parted. Lexa’s fangs were bared as she shallowly panted and intently stared at Clarke’s mouth moving against her skin.

It registered later, that Lexa’s blood somehow managed to be strangely palatable whilst still retaining its taste and viscosity. Clarke hungrily sucked on the closing wound, wanting more, because it really was the most delicious blood she had ever tasted.

“Klark…” Lexa breathlessly warned, her free hand gently pushing at Clarke’s shoulder. “You should not take so much…”

Clarke stopped instantly, licking her lips and grinned brightly at Lexa. She felt tingly all over; almost giddy. The way Lexa’s kisses usually made her feel, only ten times better.

And that was a lot of better.

“Are you feeling alright?” Lexa asked, her eyes firmly on Clarke even while she wiped the blood from her wrist with a damp cloth to reveal smooth tanned skinned.

“Hmmm.” Clarke lazily hummed and licked her lips again. “How are _you_ feeling?”

Lexa’s lips twitched in amusement. “I am concerned you might have taken a little too much. But you should still be yourself again long before you need to leave.”

Clarke nodded sagely, her blood buzzing in her veins, her love for Lexa pulsing in her chest. Mindlessly she walked forward and hugged the vampire tightly. Lexa had gone rigid at the sudden move, but soon relaxed and hugged the blonde back, gently holding Clarke’s head to her chest and stroking her hair.

Clarke closed her eyes and just enjoyed Lexa’s warm, naked, skin against her own.

“So smooth…” Clarke mumbled, lazily running her hands over every part of Lexa she could find. “You feel so beautiful…”

Lexa remained quiet and allowed Clarke her gentle exploration.

“You’re the best thing to have ever happened to anyone.” Clarke murmured and pressed her face into Lexa’s neck. “I want to smell you forever.” She professed, inhaling a deep breath before pulling away to look at the mildly, stunned vampire.

Lexa looked so fucking cute.

Clarke grinned and then quickly pressed their lips together. The vampire let out a shocked gasp, allowing Clarke’s tongue the opportunity to invade her mouth, even while Lexa grasped Clarke’s shoulders to keep her at bay.

“Klark.” Lexa tried to speak, but Clarke latched her teeth onto the vampire’s perfect bottom lip, biting down with purpose.

Lexa growled at the stinging pain.

“ _Grrrr_.” Clarke mimicked, and then burst out in a fit of giggles, releasing Lexa’s lip in the process and found herself pressed away from the vampire as Lexa held her by her shoulders.

“I… had not anticipated this.” Lexa licked her lips, brows knitted in contemplation. “I am uncertain as to whether this reaction is because we have been intimate, or because you drank directly from me. No one has ever done that before... I used to send my blood in cups to my people, so had not been near any of them to ascertain whether they acted differently towards me than they otherwise would… _Gostos’s_ experience can hardly be used as a comparison as he would not feel this way about me…” Lexa’s face scrunched up into an adorable grimace.

“Will you stop that?” Clarke scolded her.

“Stop what?” Lexa absently asked, mind still working as she effortlessly held Clarke away from her, who was still futilely trying to get closer.

“With the thinking and your beautiful brain and keeping me away from you.” Clarke emphasised her point with a wiggle of her shoulders in Lexa’s strong hands. “I’m fine, you’re fine, we should just hold each other now.” Clarke nodded to herself and reached up to run her fingers up Lexa’s arms, smirking at the goose bumps spreading up in their wake.

“Just one more kiss, Gorgeous…” Clarke seductively husked, feeling Lexa’s arms grow slack and lunged forward when she found her gap, desperately melding their mouths together again.

The few seconds it lasted was pure bliss, before Lexa groaned and pushed Clarke away again, eyes a stormy cloud of confusion and arousal and guilt and sadness…

Clarke instantly stopped fighting Lexa’s grip.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, even as her body felt on fire and she couldn’t help but send a longing glance at Lexa’s lips.

“You are not in a position to give proper consent.” Lexa murmured, eyes shifting to the floor as her hands slipped away from Clarke and back to her side. “I apologise Klark, I did not realise that my blood would affect you this way.”

Clarke laughed.

“ _Pfft._ ” She waved a hand in front of her face, like she was swatting at an invisible fly. “I always feel this way about you and around you. My filter’s just a little bit down at the moment.”

Lexa looked up again, the picture of innocence and remorse and Clarke’s heart melted all over again.

“I’m already starting to control it more.” Clarke realised out loud. “And I feel as though I could run all the way to the top of Mount Weather and back!” She exclaimed and then laughed at how unnaturally hyper she still sounded. “Well, you did say it would take a few minutes.” She sheepishly grinned, relieved that the strain had left Lexa’s shoulders.

“We should hug it out. Your body heat calms me.” Clarke earnestly suggested.

Lexa looked dubious.

“Promise I’ll keep my hands in the respectable space between your wings and your lovely ass.” Clarke held up her right hand, the other covering hear heart as though she was making a vow.

Lexa smiled again – and wasn’t that something to get high on in and of itself? – and stepped closer to pull Clarke into a tender hug.

Clarke sighed and sunk into her. The initial rush and abrupt horniness had indeed started to fade and Lexa’s warmth _had_ always calmed her. Clarke lifted her head and gently scraped her teeth over Lexa’s pulse point, smiling happily when Lexa hummed and affectionately nuzzled her back.

Her eyes fluttered closed when Lexa’s wings enveloped her a moment later.

* * *

 

She hadn’t slept exactly, more like zoned out as her senses focused on everything Lexa.

As the pleasant fog gradually faded, Clarke’s mind felt sharper than ever before as she contemplated everything that happened since she landed on the Ground and what might possibly happen at the Mountain and thereafter, when Lexa took her to Polis.

When Lexa unfurled her wings, Clarke stood taller as the vampire appraised her, feeling born again and ready to tear open the main door at Mount Weather with her bare hands if it would bring her back to Lexa sooner.

“How do you feel?” Lexa asked.

“Better than I ever have.”

“Your mind is clear?”

“ _Way_ too clear.” Clarke laughed and got Lexa to smile again.

Lexa nodded. “Good. It is time to go.”

Clarke frowned. _Already?_ It had felt as though the embrace had only lasted a few minutes. But Clarke wouldn’t let Lexa see her falter or look uncertain, so she straightened her spine and nodded, watching Lexa walk over to her large trunk slash wardrobe.

After rummaging through her clothes, the vampire laid out some Grounder leathers and armour over one of the chairs.

“I had requested these be made for you.” Lexa stoically announced and walked to the other side of the tent.

“Thank you.” Clarke whispered in awe as she eyed the clothing before she started to dress herself.

Lexa didn’t bother redressing as she watched Clarke, causing the blonde to blush and fumble, realising her reflexes were a lot keener when she quickly caught the cup she’d accidently knocked over before it reached the ground whilst she struggled to get the tight leather up her thighs.

Finally dressed, Clarke turned to Lexa for approval, brushing out non-existent creases and straightening the light armour.

“It suits you.” Lexa rasped, her eyes caressing over Clarke’s body with blatant admiration.

The blonde bashfully smiled and just nodded her thanks at the compliment.

What were they supposed to say now? Goodbye? See you later?

“Be safe, Klark.” Lexa earnestly requested, stepping closer.

Clarke nodded obediently. “I’ll be back soon.” She confidently stated, pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of Lexa’s mouth and with a deep fortifying inhale of Lexa’s scent, Clarke turned around and walked out of the tent.

* * *

 

Clarke stood anxiously pacing in front of the main gate at Mount Weather, the detonator to the hydrazine bomb nestled in the centre of the door, clenched tightly in her hand.

The sun had set and they’d lost radio contact with both Bellamy and Raven.

For the last few horrifying moments, all they heard was the gunfire coming from the dam. Clarke obsessed over the fact that they would only have a one-minute window to detonate the bomb before the back-up generators came back on were Raven to be successful in destroying the turbines and cut the power. One minute to press one button, and yet it left Clarke with a feeling of trepidation. She held the detonator closer to her, irrationally afraid that she would somehow lose the device.

The rest of Clarke’s energy went to waiting and pacing and focusing on the fact that Octavia was still in position and clung to the hope that Bellamy would find a way to get to his sister.

The march up the mountain had been an invigorating experience. All around her, a thousand voices had chanted: _jus drein jus daun, jus drein jus daun_. The first time Clarke had heard it, the droning chorus had left her feeling cold and terrified. But that day, Clarke could only feel pride and hope and part of something far bigger and significant than she’d ever imagined.

Lexa’s blood still coursed through her, allowing Clarke to hear things she wouldn’t normally hear. With the Grounder army stood silently waiting behind her, Clarke heard the sound of rocks precariously shifting on top of the ridge just above the main door.

But then Clarke heard something else that sent her heart jackhammering against her chest: the bombs going off at the dam. Four of them in quick succession. She waited with baited breath, counting down the seconds, going on thirty. And then finally the fifth turbine exploded and the lights at the main door flickered off.

 _One minute_. She started the timer in her head after a brief look at her watch and pressed down on the detonator.

Nothing happened. Like she’d had a fucking premonition about it. Yet still Clarke pressed it a few times more, moving closer to the bomb and was promptly shot at, Lincoln quickly pulling her behind a boulder for cover.

“We’re out of range. We need to get closer, but they have men up on the ridge who have a clear shot at us.” Clarke spoke her fears out loud.

Indra nodded as though she’d known about the men all along.

“I’ll get closer.” David Miller determinedly stated, as he crouched in front of Clarke and held out his palm.

Clarke knew him only as Sergeant Miller, a guard on the Ark. She didn’t know anything else about him, save that the look in his eyes told her that he would do whatever it took to get them into the Mountain. So Clarke nodded and handed him the detonator. They didn’t have time to argue about it, or come up with a better plan.

_Forty-five seconds._

“Shields!” Indra commanded and a few of her warriors stepped forward with their metal shields. “Cover him!” They crowded around Sergeant Miller in perfect formation and steadily started marching forward.

Just a few seconds and the Mount Weather gunmen had taken out _all_ of them.

Clarke’s heart pounded painfully and she closed her eyes, focusing on her breathing; trying to think of anything other than the fact that Lexa had said that this plan had too many unknowns; that it came with too much risk...

“I will take out the men on the ridge.” Indra stated and Clarke turned to look at the warrior woman, brown eyes filled with sympathy.

Clarke nodded and glanced at her watch as Indra ran off with a few warriors.

“Twenty seconds.” She muttered dejectedly.

They would have to go in through the tunnels. If the Mount Weather guards were up on the ridge, hopefully not many would be inside of the mountain when they entered. Clarke would take a small group and join O and shoot the door down if she had to.

 _“Mebe oso na hit choda op nodotaim_.” Lincoln muttered next to her and Clarke looked to see him lighting an arrow on fire and her heart grinded to a halt as hope surged into it like lightning.

“Ten seconds.” She whispered, trying to keep calm and not distract Lincoln.

He took one deep breath, drew back his bowstring, aimed at the bomb in the door and then released his arrow.

A cacophony of gunfire rained down on them once again, accompanied by the sweet sound of an explosion that indicated that the hydrazine bomb had detonated.

“Now it’s all on Indra.” Clarke whispered from her position behind the cover of a rock, staring at her radio, waiting for Raven or Bellamy to check in, purposely not trying to get a hold of O for fear that she wouldn’t get an answer there either.

It seemed to take an eternity, Clarke’s stomach churning at the sharp smell of gunpowder mixed with blood. Just a few seconds, and over twenty Grounders lay dead all around her. Clarke shifted her attention to listening rather than scenting, brow furrowing when she heard _nothing_.

If Indra was attacking the guards on the ridge, shouldn’t there be gunfire or shouting at least?

Lincoln standing up next to her distracted Clarke as she instinctively grabbed for him to pull him back down into cover. But Lincoln too had noticed the lack of gunfire and realised they weren’t being shot at anymore.

“Indra did it.” Lincoln murmured.

They cautiously walked forward and Clarke almost smiled when she saw Sergeant Miller still alive and moving from behind his shield cover.

“Make sure he’s okay.” She instructed Monroe and a few of the Ark guards who quickly rushed over to help.

“They’ll be waiting just on the inside.” Clarke reminded Lincoln.

“Good.” Lincoln’s jaw set and he walked forward, shouting his people into action.

They quickly hooked ropes onto the door and formed two lines, starting to pull with all of their might. For a moment it looked as though the door wasn’t even budging, and Clarke remained tense yet hopeful, until the sound of hydraulics filtered through the air and the door shifted a few inches open.

Cheering erupted all around her, and Clarke almost forgot to give the order, but shouted the command to attack when she noticed shadows moving behind the door.

“Stand down!” Indra’s commanding voice could be heard above the cheers and instantly her people obeyed the order.

Clarke wasn’t sure what the fuck was going on as she looked from the door, to Indra marching toward her with a Mountain Man held captive, and then back to the door again where a few emaciated Grounders were tentatively leaving their prison.

“They’re surrendering?” Clarke wondered in disbelief, turning back to Indra.

“Not quite.” The Mountain Man sneered.

 _Emerson_ , it read on his chest - and Clarke was more confused than ever when Indra cut the smug looking bastard loose.

“Indra?” She rasped in question, her brain telling her one thing, but her heart refusing to believe it.

“What is this?” Lincoln walked up next to them, as Emerson walked free and Clarke couldn’t deny what was happening any longer.

“Will my people be walking out of that door too?” Clarke’s jaw clenched as her eyes burned, already knowing the answer to that.

Her people were the ones with the genetically modified bone marrow. The ones Cage Wallace really wanted. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind what the stakes in this deal had been.

“Heda wouldn’t approve of this.” Clarke gritted out, eyes watery, even as her stomach burned in anger.

Indra wouldn’t just decide to negotiate with the enemy. Indra was a warrior. Indra followed her _Heda’s_ orders… Clarke’s breath hitched and a quiet sob left her before she could stop herself; knowing exactly who had orchestrated this before Indra even confirmed it.

“Heda knows…” Indra gently murmured, that look of sympathy back on her features. “Heda told me that should the plan fail, I needed to find one of the _Maunon,_ make this deal with them and save our people.”

Clarke’s stomach twisted and bile rose in her throat. Not only did Lexa not trust her, she went behind Clarke’s back to save her own people. Thirteenth Clan? What had that been? Just a way to make Clarke believe? To blindside her even more? Was this Lexa’s retribution for Gustus’s death? To completely break Clarke’s heart? To completely break _Clarke_?

“The plan had been working, it just took a little bit longer!” Clarke shouted, needing to unleash some of the emotion boiling inside of her.

“ _Think_ , Clarke.” Indra managed to sound both gentle and stern at the same time. “The _Maunon_ held the high ground. They have too many guns. I lost close to a hundred warriors on our ascent and had been losing more still. We would’ve all been slaughtered trying to get to them. _You_ would all have been slaughtered trying to open that door. Heda had told me this might happen. That I needed to keep my eyes above the door as it was the perfect vantage point for our enemy.” Indra explained. And though it made sense, all Clarke could think was that Lexa had anticipated this and had _still_ sent Clarke to the Mountain. Lexa hadn’t even bothered explaining it to Clarke.

Was Lexa really that angry at her? Their time together before Clarke left Camp Jaha would suggest otherwise. This didn’t make _any_ sense.

_Lexa wouldn’t do this._

If Lexa sought retribution for Gustus she would’ve just killed Clarke. Or was her vengeance dooming the Arkers to die in that Mountain and forcing Clarke to know she couldn’t do anything to stop it?

“Your people, the ones who are outside of the Mountain, are still safe.” Indra stoically declared, and awkwardly cleared her throat, when Clarke blankly stared right through her.

The hiss and clank of the hydraulics on the main door shutting again, tore away the last shred of Clarke’s restraint.

She barely heard Indra shouting for everyone to retreat. Or the horn that loudly sounded to call away those protecting O and Raven. Clarke didn’t even notice the way Lincoln struggled to stay at her side, to keep on fighting, but they subdued him and carried him away too. Even her people retreated with them, leaving Clarke all alone in front of the main door.

The plan had failed as Lexa had said it would. Clarke had seen that door not moving at all as thirty giant warriors pulled at it. Had Lexa known that would happen too?

She had trusted Lexa and Lexa had betrayed her.

Clarke should’ve anticipated it really; it wasn’t the first time it had happened to her. And yet Clarke _still_ couldn’t believe it. If it had been anyone else, maybe. But _Lexa_? Why wouldn’t Lexa have told her what she’d told Indra, though? Indra wouldn’t lie. Indra had been sending Clarke pitying looks ever since they had left Camp Jaha. This had been the plan all along: Push Wallace into a corner, make the deal and get the Grounders out. Save _her_ people and get her revenge on Clarke for killing Gustus.  

Even as Clarke thought it, it sounded completely absurd. Lexa wouldn’t do this. No one could fake the look in Lexa’s eyes when she gazed at Clarke. No one was that great of an actor.

_Lexa wouldn’t do this. Lexa wouldn’t do this. Lexa wouldn’t do this._

Clarke repeated it over and over again in her head until she retched the words into the bloodied sand at her feet.

* * *

 


	17. Chapter 17

 

Clarke stood reeling for a few agonizing moments longer, before her survival instincts finally kicked in.

Straightening up, she squared her shoulders, set her jaw and marched right after the army. Clarke had no intention of going back to Camp Jaha though. She just needed to make sure that if Wallace was watching, he would think that she was retreating.

 _Fuck_ retreating _._

Clarke was going to circle around the mountain and go to the tunnels. She was pretty sure that Octavia wouldn’t have left with the rest of the army no matter who said what; even if Indra herself had commanded her young Second to do so. The girl was as stubborn as her brother. Not always a good thing, but in this instance, it could work in Clarke’s favour to have some sort of back-up to try and make this half-assed plan work.  

And what the fuck was she doing? Placing her trust in O when Clarke didn’t even know whether she was still in the tunnels or not? If there was one thing the Ground – no, what _people_ – had taught Clarke Griffin, it was that you shouldn’t trust _anyone._

Especially not sexy fucking vampires with enormous green eyes.

And just like that, Clarke was back to seething in anger, violently cutting her way through the foliage and toward the entrance to the mines.

_Fuck Lexa._

Just fucking _fuck_ her straight to hell.

After Clarke got her people out of the Mountain, she was going to march straight back to Camp Jaha and – and – Clarke wasn’t sure what she would do, but she’d be sure to start it off with a _slap_ to Lexa’s gorgeous and deceitful face.

The thought made her cringe.

Clarke broke free of the suffocating shrubbery only a few yards from the tunnel entrance, Lexa’s blood viciously pumping through her veins had allowed her to make short work of the trek.

Why couldn’t she be angrier at Lexa? Clarke couldn’t even bring herself to think of slapping the vampire.

Clarke came to a screeching halt outside of the tunnel entrance when she realised why that was: she was _still_ fucking hoping. Hoping that this was just some massive misunderstanding. That Lexa would be swooping down from the skies to tell Clarke that this was all some elaborate plan and that she loved Clarke back and that she didn’t blame Clarke for Gustus’s death.

Clarke paused, the grief threatening to overwhelm her again, eyes widening when she felt a familiar prickle at the back of her neck. Her heart wildly hammered against her ribs and Clarke’s chest swelled with even more hopefulness…

“ _Leksa_ …?” Clarke shakily whispered toward the cave entrance, noticing the movement in the shadows.

An angry growl answered her call and the figure came charging out of the tunnel.

_Definitely not Lexa._

And really? Could she not catch a fucking break?

“For fuck’s sake.” Clarke swore under her breath and spun on her heel to get away from the giant Reaper running at her.

She barely made it a few yards when a lightning fast shadow swooped overhead. Clarke quickly turned back around and instantly froze when she was met with a pair of large black wings, shielding her from the Reaper.

Clarke blinked.

Her brain and heart experienced so many conflicting thoughts and emotions in that moment that Clarke could do nothing but stand there and watch.

Lexa smoothly drew her sword from her back holster, a low growl rumbling in her chest and without any fanfare or warning, she sliced through the Reaper’s neck, smoothly severing his head from his body. The vampire hissed at the Reaper as he hit the ground, growling again while she scented the air toward the tunnel entrance. Apparently sensing no other Reapers, Lexa blindly sheathed her blade again and turned around to face Clarke.

Clarke’s heart stuttered and jumped into her throat, painfully throbbing in a thick asphyxiating knot.

Lexa had her war paint on, looking like the first day Clarke had seen her, obsidian eyes and all. Only her gaze was much softer now as it ran over Clarke’s body and the vampire scented in her direction.

And then Lexa _smiled_ at her and Clarke fucking lost it.

She ran at the vampire, barely registering Lexa’s surprised face as her fists flimsily hit at Lexa’s torso, grunting and shouting, unable to form the words to go with the emotions trying to escape her body. Lexa easily took hold of her thrashing wrists, holding them in place in front of their chests, as Clarke continued to violently struggle to get free so she could continue her frenzied attack.

“Klark, please stop.” Lexa sounded pained, even though Clarke knew she hadn’t hurt her. Even if Lexa had been entirely human, Clarke had barely done any harm. “If you continue to struggle you may hurt yourself.”

Clarke ceased all movement and glared up at the concerned vampire.

“You’re worried that I’ll get _hurt?”_ Clarke gritted out through clenched jaws.

“Yes…” Lexa cautiously replied, looking as though she was worried for Clarke’s sanity.

And did Lexa really not fucking get it?

“You betrayed me.” Clarke rasped, her voice cracking and she was really grasping to hold on to her anger, instead of bursting into tears.

“It had been a ruse…” Lexa confusedly replied, as though she was reminding Clarke of a plan that Clarke was supposedly privy to all along.

“You didn’t tell me about the guards on the ridge… You knew they might be there and you sent me to the Mountain unprepared. They could’ve easily shot me… Didn’t you care about that? It hadn’t mattered to you that I might get _hurt_ then, did it?” Clarke angrily hissed, happy that her ire was back in full force.

Lexa froze, her spine going rigid as she seemed to finally grasp the intensity of their conversation.

“I had told you that the risks were many. That we should wait...” Lexa said and carefully released her hold on Clarke, as though Clarke might actually be able to hurt her if she attacked again.

“Yeah? In that waiting plan of yours _everyone_ might’ve died.”

“Without the continued threat of attack pushing them to work faster, the _Maunon_ might have harvested the bone marrow in the safe manner you said was possible. This would have ensured more for their people and that your people would live longer. Not _everyone_ may have died following my suggested plan.”

Clarke’s mouth hung open.

“You couldn’t have told me this before?”

“Would you have changed your mind based on a theory?” Lexa queried. “The Boy had already set the plan in motion. Would he have ceased his attempts at sabotage were you to ask him to?”

Clarke looked away, because Bellamy would’ve tried to single-handedly save everyone no matter what Clarke told him. Clarke herself wasn’t sure she would’ve changed her mind had she heard that the day before.

“Regardless, Klark, we had decided on your plan. You would not listen after you made contact with the Mountain via radio.” Lexa tensely continued. “I could only think of how to provide a contingency should any of my fears come to fruition. One concern had been that they would send another missile at the army, so I had made certain to instruct Indra that the army would remain as close to the entrance as possible. A missile there would have breached the _Maunon’s_ defences, allowing entry for whoever survived, and possible reinforcements. But most importantly, a missile would rupture their mountain, and they would all die when exposed to the outside air.”

Clarke winced internally, she hadn’t even thought that Wallace might launch another missile at them.

“Why didn’t he send a missile at us while we were still heading up the Mountain…” Clarke inadvertently wondered out loud.

“I had discussed this possibility with Raven. She had confirmed that to guide a missile one would need exact coordinates or a visible target. I am certain you noticed that Indra kept the army constantly moving forward.”

Clarke scowled at Lexa having an answer for everything.

“And what was your plan to stop the bullets raining down from the ridge? Oh, wait, your plan was to give them what they wanted.” Clarke sarcastically sneered, welcoming the anger bubbling in her belly.

Lexa seemed unaffected though, and just continued to explain as though Clarke wasn’t close to boiling over with rage right in front of her.

“I had circled around this mountain peak often enough to know what it looked like by heart. And the ridge as a vantage point had been my biggest concern, especially considering the army needing to stay close to the main door. How big a threat they would be, depended on how many _Maunon_ had suits or needed suits and would be able to get up there. Would they risk going outside to engage the army that greatly outnumbered them in combat? Would they use the fog again, the one they had used to capture your people in the first place and leave you all vulnerable and unconscious? I had Indra position a division of warriors away from the rest of the army to act should that have occurred.”

It made sense, and Lexa had said that there were too many unknowns, but Lexa still allowed Clarke to go up the Mountain with all of those in mind. No matter the countermeasures she’d clearly put in place.

“You still sent me up here with a high risk of dying.” It came out angry, but Clarke’s lip quivered and Lexa stepped forward, but stopped when Clarke moved away from her.

“I had Indra ensure your safety above all else.” Lexa murmured, and the twenty-odd Grounders who for some inexplicable reason had rushed forward when the gunfire started, suddenly made sense. They had been running to protect Clarke and had ended up dead; their bodies spread out all around her.

That didn’t make Clarke feel any better.

Lexa had been right that Clarke would’ve still marched on Mount Weather knowing about those risks. Bellamy had finally made it in and told them that their people had been locked up. Clarke couldn’t not go, especially not after the sniper in Ton DC told them that someone had died so that he could walk on the Ground. Nothing Lexa would’ve explained to her then, would’ve stopped Clarke from going to Mount Weather.

“Indra was supposed to bring you safely down the Mountain.” Lexa growled, her brows furrowing as she seemed confused as to why she had been disobeyed.

It _was_ strange that Indra had left her there, but Clarke had seen the understanding in Indra’s eyes. The warrior had left Clarke so that Clarke would be able to sneak into the Mountain and save her people. Clarke felt better in the faith shown in her. Indra had probably promised that Clarke would remain protected throughout the battle. The battle had been long over when Indra left Clarke safely standing outside of the main door.

“Indra didn’t decide on her own to betray me and save her people. _You_ instructed her to do that. _You_ planned to betray me.” Clarke wanted to say she was getting angry all over again, but she wasn’t. She was only feeling more wounded by the second.

Lexa looked surprised for a few seconds and then she frowned.

“Given the various unknowns I had mentioned earlier, this had always been a contingency. I had instructed Indra on what to look out for and to then make the deal and signal me with the horn should any of the risks present themselves.”

“You should’ve told _me_ , _Leksa_ , not Indra!”

“Your mind had been focused on too many things. You had too much on your shoulders already. All Indra needed to do, was follow your orders. So I gave this responsibility to her to spare you the worry.” Lexa looked incredulous, as though she couldn’t fathom why Clarke didn’t understand this. “Indra is a leader, same as you, Klark. Both of you have a responsibility to your respective people. I had not interfered, because both of you needed to do this as much as the rest of the warriors who had marched with you. I had hoped that the plan would succeed in spite of my doubts. But it hadn’t, and my contingency is still in place. The majority of my people are free of the Mountain. The _Maunon_ think that they have won. They will not be expecting another attack. They will not expect the Heda to be coming for them.” Lexa proudly lifted her chin, preening for Clarke.

Clarke however, was not feeling it.

Everything made sense about the contingency plan. She didn’t miss that Lexa had said the ‘majority’ of her people were free of the Mountain, either. Lexa was still counting the Sky People as hers. Lexa had told Clarke that the Heda didn’t interfere with the affairs of her people unless they needed her to. So for her to allow Clarke and Indra the opportunity to do this, wasn’t that out of character. But Lexa had also said that Mount Weather had always been the exception to that rule. But then Gustus had died and everything changed….

Clarke had hoped that this would be Lexa’s reasoning, that Lexa had some grand scheme to justify what Clarke had perceived as a betrayal. And yet, despite having wanted it, and understanding why it had happened, the latent pain lingered on and painfully constricted in Clarke’s chest.

“You made me think that you betrayed me…” Clarke released the words in an anguished whisper, because in spite of all this logic, Clarke had thought it was real. Clarke had been _made_ to think that it was real.

“The _Maunon_ needed to believe it, Klark…” Lexa sighed, looking like she was patiently explaining something to a child who just wasn’t getting it. “They would have been watching you on their cameras. They could not become suspicious. Even Indra believes that I have betrayed you.”

So that’s why Indra had been so gentle with Clarke: out of pity.

“You broke my heart, _Leksa_.” Clarke murmured as tears shot back in her eyes and her nose burned with her heartache. “And I hear what you’re saying, but _I_ didn’t know that it was a backup plan. It all felt very real to me. Do you have any idea how much it hurt? That it had been you? Even now, after knowing and seeing that my people will still be saved, it still fucking _hurts.”_

“You were not supposed to feel hurt.” Lexa whispered, eyebrows furrowed so tightly together they looked like a unibrow.

Clarke barked out a wet, bitter laugh.

“I thought you had betrayed me, after-after _everything_ that happened between us, everything you said! I thought you betrayed me! How was I _not_ supposed to feel hurt?”

Clarke could see the gears turning in Lexa’s brain as she processed Clarke’s words and finally her confusion turned to realisation. Lexa’s shoulders instantly slumped and her wings drooped down; her lips parted slightly, as remorse flooded her dark eyes.

“I thought you would be angry…” Lexa rasped. “That you would shout at Indra and the cameras would see… I thought that they would carry you away from the gate kicking and screaming, and then as you lost sight of the main door, I thought that you would think… That you would know…” Lexa trailed off, her features hardening slightly. “I thought you would have remembered the vow I had made to you, that you would know that surely there must be a reason; that surely I could not possibly do something like that!” Lexa’s own eyes filled with tears as they intently studied Clarke’s face. “I believed that when your anger calmed and your mind cleared, you would remember who I am and that I would not do this. Not to you, Klark.”

And Clarke hated herself for feeling guilty that she somehow didn’t know that it had been a plan that would also benefit her people, and hadn’t experienced the emotional response Lexa had calculated she would have. But Clarke didn’t shout this at Lexa, instead she internalized it, because as Lexa stood worriedly and earnestly waiting for her response, anxiously wringing her hands in front of her, Clarke knew that Lexa had honestly thought that Clarke would know to continue to blindly trust in her.  

“I’ve told you about what my mother did to my father... All because she thought it was the right thing for our people…” Clarke whispered and Lexa tilted her head as she thought on what Clarke had told her and then the vampire’s eyes flashed in understanding, then guilt, and then panic, and it looked as though Lexa wasn’t sure what to do or say next.

“I’ve trusted only a few people and I’ve been disappointed by _way_ too many of them.” Clarke bitterly chuckled. “Now it’s just a kneejerk reaction to disregard whatever I thought I knew about someone and just think the worst.”

Lexa swallowed thickly, tears brimming in her eyes. “I would never…”

Clarke nodded. “Part of me never believed that you would, part of me had still hoped. But then there was also that part of me that screamed at the back of my mind that this had happened before, that people have hurt me with far lower stakes than this. And I really should’ve seen it coming…”

Lexa stepped forward as though she intended to embrace her, and though Clarke desperately needed her to do just that, she held up her hand, causing the vampire to instantly stop her tentative advance.

“We don’t have time for this discussion, or to deal with my issues right now.”

“Klark, I do not know how to fix this.” Lexa looked utterly distraught in her helplessness.

Clarke just wanted to hug her already, because this was such a Lexa mistake to have made. To calculate her plan and think of Clarke and Indra’s responses in that plan as variables instead of actual human reactions; to focus on the importance of Cage Wallace seeing Clarke’s surprise and anger and thinking that he’d won. Well, Clarke breaking down must’ve really given him a show. No doubt he believed the ‘ruse’ now.

It had been a brilliant plan, from Lexa’s brilliant brain. Lexa’s brilliant mind that was used to moving her people around like she was playing Gustus in one of their intense chess games and the thirteen clans were mere pieces on a checkered board. It hadn’t been malicious. It was just how Lexa’s brain worked. Clarke knew this. She had also just realised that though she’d initially assumed that it was Lexa’s people, it was in actual fact _Clarke_ who was Lexa’s King, the one piece on the board that would be protected above all else and at any cost.

“Your plan worked. You kept me safe. You minimized the losses for your army and freed your people without any casualties. And now you’re going to get mine. I know and understand that you wanted to wait and never even wanted this plan to begin with. I know that you’re here now because of me and only me.”

Lexa vehemently nodded, that yes, Clarke was the only reason she’d bothered to think up a contingency plan at all. Considering that Lexa’s initial plan had been to wait it out till the _Maunon_ ventured out of their Mountain. That Lexa was standing there now, ready for battle, was entirely because of her feelings for Clarke. Lexa had placed her grieving aside and had come to the Mountain when Indra had sounded the horn to save Clarke’s people, because that was the vow she had made.

“But you still hurt me...” Clarke whispered, really not wanting to break down, but she needed Lexa to understand the reason and when Lexa’s face fell, Clarke could see that she finally did. “I know you didn’t mean too.” Clarke softly reassured as a tear fell down Lexa’s cheek and she shook her head that _no_ she hadn’t. “And I’ve forgiven you, okay?” Lexa looked like she didn’t believe Clarke though. “I _have_ forgiven you, but it’s gonna take a bit of time to shake this feeling off…” Lexa nodded again. “Let’s just focus on rescuing my people, and after it’s all over and my emotions have settled, we can talk about this again?”

Lexa earnestly agreed. Clarke thought that Lexa would agree to just about anything in that moment.

“I will be better, Klark.” Lexa whispered, swallowing thickly, but maintaining eye contact with Clarke to show her that she meant it.

And really? Was Clarke ever going to get an opportunity to just be mad at Lexa for longer than five minutes? Her body moved forward before Clarke had even realised that she’d made the conscious decision to hug Lexa.

She was so fucking easy when it came to this woman.

Clarke melted into Lexa’s strong arms. The vampire instantly embraced her back, holding Clarke close, and there was that feeling that Clarke had needed ever since her heart had been shattered into a million pieces outside of Mount Weather’s main entrance. That feeling of warmth, comfort and protection, that finally managed to settle the aching storm raging in her chest.

Clarke relished in it for as long as she possibly could, given that they still needed to go and rescue her people.

Lexa hadn’t betrayed her.

Lexa had just been Lexa, doing what she thought was best without consulting anyone, and Clarke finally found something to stay angry about. It seemed petty, considering how distraught Lexa was about the whole thing, but their relationship was new, Clarke needed to set down some ground rules if she was going to be in a relationship with the Heda of thirteen clans, a creature who had been set in her ways for _decades_.

With a deep inhale of Lexa’s soothing scent - so much more potent with Lexa’s blood in her veins -, Clarke finally and reluctantly moved away from the addictive hug and started walking toward the tunnel.

“Remember our conversation after you choked Bellamy in Ton DC?” Clarke casually asked, the vampire lagging behind her, still deep in thought.

“I do.” Lexa hesitantly murmured.

“I told you that if we’re going to be in a relationship, you need to realise that I can’t just switch my feelings on and off based on the situation.”

Lexa stopped walking, understanding where Clarke was going with her statement and Clarke turned toward her again.

“Yes, I know what your intentions had been, and that this relationship thing is new to you. And you know I respect you as the Heda and that ultimately the decisions you make for our people are your choice. But when things involve me, especially when I’m going to be used as a pawn in your tactical strategies, I want to be informed, _Leksa_. Or this isn’t going to work out between us.”

“I will never keep a secret from you again, Klark.” Lexa resolutely whispered and they started walking forward again in the dim light of the tunnel.

Clarke felt really bad that she was making Lexa feel worse. But given Lexa’s position as Heda, who knew what the next crisis would be, and the decisions Lexa would be forced to make to keep their people safe. Clarke didn’t want something like that to ever come between them again. Well, more like Clarke didn’t want Lexa’s strategist brain to come between them ever again.

“You can have secrets, _Leksa_ ,” Clarke softly replied, “just when they involve me, especially the life or death ones, I would like to be informed.” She smiled, feeling remarkably lighter than she had a few moments ago.

Clarke didn’t even care that she’d already forgiven Lexa, but she wasn’t going to let the vampire off that easily.

“But, since I was hurt despite your good intentions, I think it’s only fair that I get some sort of retribution.”

Lexa seemed to brace herself and earnestly nodded. Clarke had to fight back another smile.

“I’m not sure what though… Maybe we shouldn’t have sex for the foreseeable future.” Clarke casually murmured and had to turn around and continue walking at the complete hopelessness that befell the vampire at hearing that.

Lexa followed after, the tips of her wings literally trailing in the dirt, head hung low. “If that is what you need, Klark.” Lexa sadly agreed.

Clarke bit her lip. Sex as a weapon was way too petty and why would Clarke punish herself too?

“No, I won’t do that you,” Clarke glanced over her shoulder, “but words hurt, don’t they, _Leksa_? Even when you don’t mean them. Even if it’s just a way to prove a point.”

Lexa scowled, softly growling under her breath that Clarke had tricked her, whilst looking somewhat impressed by it too, but then the vampire grew solemn again.

“I apologise for my mistake, Klark.” Lexa rasped and Clarke stopped and turned around at how small Lexa’s voice sounded. “There is nothing I can do now but promise that I will not make it again.” She drew in a shuddering breath, her eyes wet with unshed tears. “You do not need to say that you forgive me when you have not. You do not need to believe me when I say that I thought that this was the best way to keep you and our people safe. But please do believe that the mere thought that I had hurt you, is painful all on its own – “

Clarke lunged forward and kissed her.

Clarke kissed Lexa long and deep and moaned when Lexa hungrily kissed her back. Desperate and needy. Their tongues twisted around each other to taste every part of their mouths. Clarke didn’t want to hurt Lexa because Lexa had hurt her. Anyone else would’ve needed to be taught a lesson, but Clarke knew that Lexa would be extra cautious from now on. That was just the beautiful type of person that Lexa was.

No matter how hard she tried, Clarke still wholeheartedly trusted in the vampire, it scared her just how much she did, but it had also - and continued to at present - provide Clarke with that sense of stability she needed to not lose her mind on the Ground.

Clarke had to tear herself away from Lexa, who she at one point must’ve pressed up against the tunnel wall, because the vampire was still pasted against it, fangs bared behind kiss swollen lips as she heavily panted, dark eyes ravenously running over Clarke’s body.

And this was so not the time to be horny.

Clarke ran her teeth over her bottom lip and then flashed Lexa the Griffin Grin. The vampire in turn let out a low growl that made Clarke’s stomach clench and her body shudder in pleasure.

“We can put this behind us if you do two things for me.” Clarke breathlessly said through her smile, hoping Lexa would see that she wasn’t trying to make a point again and that these two things weren’t at all anything Lexa needed to worry about.

Lexa being Lexa, of course immediately straightened up and gave Clarke her full, sober, attention.

“You’ve already promised not to keep things like that from me ever again,” Lexa sternly nodded, “so the first thing is taken care of. And the second thing I want, is when this is over, and our people are settled and after you take me to Polis, that you’ll take me to the ocean too.”

Lexa cocked her head to the side. “That is hardly a punishment, Klark.” The vampire frowned. “I would take you wherever you wish to go. I have wanted to show you all the different clans around the world. The languages they speak, the customs they have created and retained from before the bombs… Thus far, my coalition is the largest and most prosperous.” She proudly puffed out her chest. “I had considered offering others my assistance, if only as a means to spread knowledge between everyone on how to survive…” Lexa trailed off, deflating again, and Clarke knew exactly why Lexa hadn’t approached any of them to help. Clarke didn’t blame Lexa after how her people had mistreated her. “I could never take _Gostos_ on my journeys…” She swallowed thickly at the mention of her brother’s name. “It had been too awkward to carry him when I flew; too uncomfortable for him to travel long distances… But you are small, I could take you everywhere with me.”

Clarke grinned.

“Okay, I’m upgrading your punishment to showing me the world.”

Lexa intently search Clarke’s face as if trying to confirm something, maybe whether Clarke was honest in saying that that was all that she wanted. And then Lexa looked as though she was about to tell Clarke that she loved her too…

“If that is your wish, Klark.” Lexa murmured with a tender smile that made Clarke feel warm and tingly all over.

On impulse, Clarke held out her hand, and after confusedly studying it for a moment, Lexa seemed to grasp what Clarke wanted and placed her own hand in Clarke’s palm. Clarke then threaded their fingers together and led the widely grinning vampire, deeper into the tunnels.

 

* * *

 

“Don’t shoot!” Clarke called out when they neared the door Lincoln had marked as leading into Mount Weather. “It’s me.” She needlessly added, considering that Bellamy and Monty had lowered their guns the second she’d stepped out of the shadows.

Still was still holding Lexa’s hand. Clarke hadn’t let go because she quite frankly didn’t want to, but also so that Monty wouldn’t freak out. Clarke looked to her friend and smiled when she saw the awed look on his face as he stood gaping at Lexa.

Clarke finally released the vampire’s hand and walked toward Monty and hugged him tightly to her.

“Clarke…” He smiled, momentarily forgetting about the winged vampire and hugged Clarke back.

“I’m glad you’re still in one piece.” Clarke said, and released him from the hug.

“Just barely.” Monty mumbled back, before his attention shifted to Lexa again.

And yeah okay, with the war paint and the dark eyes, and the large wings, Lexa did look extremely intimidating. Hopefully the Mountain Men would just shit their pants and surrender without a fight. Clarke highly doubted that it would be that easy though.

“The others?” Clarke tentatively asked.

Monty and Bellamy wouldn’t still be there if their friends weren’t alive inside.

“They’re all still being held in the dorm.” Bellamy answered, tentatively smiling when Clarke finally acknowledged him. “O and Jazz went to find a hazmat suit for Maya so she can leave with us.”

Clarke nodded and turned toward Monty. “So what’s the situation?”

She ignored both Lexa and Bellamy intently staring at her as she listened to Monty quickly catching her up on what had happened since Clarke had escaped. He stammered over a few words, but Clarke thought that it had little to do with the dangers inside the Mountain or the vampire that stood only a few feet away from him and had more to do with the thick tension that had settled over them all.

Apparently most of the Mount Weather inhabitants had been confined to level five as part of an emergency protocol, until the turbines were up and running again. But Wallace was aware of Bellamy’s presence, and that Jasper and Monty were missing, so guards were still roaming the hallways on high alert as they searched for them.

Clarke sighed and thanked Monty, before she turned toward Lexa, instantly meeting the dark eyes that hadn’t left her.

“So much for them thinking they had won and would be relaxing, so we could sneak in.” She smiled, but Lexa was as serious as she’s ever been. No sign of the woman who had been merrily grinning to herself because Clarke had forgiven her and was holding her hand.

“I had hoped that they would have killed the Foolish Boy by now.” Lexa sneered, but kept her eyes on Clarke.

Clarke wondered whether Lexa was afraid she herself would kill Bellamy the instant she looked at him.

“And there will be no ‘ _we_ ’ sneaking in, Klark.” The vampire continued and Clarke instantly bristled. “You will wait for your people here. Send one of them to call for Indra while the other stays as guard.” Lexa’s eyes shifted to trail over Monty. “Can you use a weapon?” She intently asked him, dark eyes piercing and dangerous.

Monty almost collapsed into himself under the glare.

“Can I speak to you privately?” Clarke muttered under her breath, and took hold of Lexa’s arm, pulling her a few yards away without waiting for an answer. “I’m going into that Mountain to get my people.”

Lexa sighed, but didn’t look at all surprised by Clarke’s determination. “This had been part of the reason that I had not told you about the contingency. If Indra had just taken you back to your camp, you would still have been angry and I would have gone back with your people and offered them up in hopes of forgiveness.” Lexa muttered.

Clarke was pleased to learn that Lexa had at least realised that she would need to grovel even when she’d thought that Clarke would just be pissed off at her.

“Well we’re here now and they’re my people in there. My responsibility. And between the two of us, I’m the one who has actually been inside the Mountain. You don’t even know what Cage Wallace looks like, or where to go to find the dorm.”

“I brought a map.” Lexa easily pulled the folded map from her back pocket. Clarke hadn’t realised that the tight leather could hold anything with the way it was moulded to Lexa’s ass. It was sort of like watching a magic trick being performed. “And I am sure that Cage Wallace’s identity would be made clear when I start tearing through his Mountain.”

“You can’t kill all of them Lexa. We spoke about this…”

“I will kill only those who attack me.”

Clarke nodded that this was reasonable and made a mental note to tell Maya to inform their allies not to attack.

“You are a distraction, Klark.” Lexa stated like this was a fact more than an accusation. “Once I enter the Mountain it will be chaos. Anything can happen. It had been difficult enough sending you with Indra instead of going with you myself.

“Maybe it could be organised chaos…” Clarke ventured, there was no way she was just going to stand out there and do nothing. “Your presence will draw all the attention and guards to you, while the three of us sneak to the dorm and guide our people out through this door.”

Lexa looked to seriously consider that plan, and Clarke fell even more in love with her, because Lexa was still listening even though Clarke knew Lexa would rather Clarke leave and go back to Camp Jaha.

“This is not wise.” Lexa defeatedly murmured, like someone who knew they were fighting a losing battle.

“I need to do this, _Leksa_.” Clarke apologetically replied. And she did need to do this. She had a personal score to settle.

“I cannot lose you too.” Lexa rasped and Clarke’s heart broke for the second time that day.

She stepped forward and pulled Lexa close.

“I know I’m not as strong as you, but I promise to be careful and avoid all of the guards. I have my gun and Monty and Bellamy are armed too. We also have three more people inside the Mountain who can help us. Probably a few more by the sound of it.”

Lexa’s jaw clenched, but she buried her face into Clarke’s hair, inhaling sharply as she nuzzled Clarke with her cheek. The purr Clarke needed to hear was absent, but she still tilted her neck to the side and her heart flipped excitedly, when Lexa ducked her head down and grazed her fangs over Clarke’s pulse point.

 

* * *

 

Clarke called Monty over to them and spread out the map to plan the route they needed to take to get to their people. She was grateful that Bellamy seemed to get the message and stayed where he was, albeit visibly fuming at being ignored. Clarke wasn’t sure whether Lexa blamed him for Gustus’s death. The Heda had hardly acknowledged Octavia in the Engineering room, and she didn’t seem to blame Clarke either. Though they’d all been complicit in Lexa losing her brother.

Regardless, the last time Lexa and Bellamy had interacted, Clarke had punched him in the face because Lexa had been two seconds away from killing him. Aside from the casual – and most likely honest – comment when she’d admitted to hoping that Bellamy would be dead by now, Lexa hadn’t shown him any outright animosity, aside from blatantly ignoring him. But Lexa was trusting both Bellamy and Monty with Clarke while she distracted the guards, so Clarke was pleased that Lexa’s primal jealously seemed to be under control.

Clarke thought the great sex they’d had after the incident had served to clear up most of Lexa’s insecurities.

When it was time for them to split up, Clarke’s calm confidence faltered. She hadn’t realised that her composure had been so greatly influenced by Lexa’s presence. Lexa halted, seeming to sense Clarke’s apprehension.

“You can still wait here.” Lexa gently reminded. “I know where to find them.”

Clarke considered it for a second. She had decided to become a leader to her people. She had escaped and left them there to be butchered. There was little else she could have done of course, but Clarke still felt guilty. That maybe she could’ve attempted to release the Grounders with Anya back then. When her people saw all the prisoners, they would’ve finally believed her that Dante Wallace couldn’t be trusted. They could’ve toppled the Mountain from the inside… Or maybe she would’ve gotten everybody killed.

Clarke needed to do this.

“No. I can do this. If you go into that dorm, they’ll panic and some of my people might get caught in the crossfire.” Clarke replied. “This is the safest way to do this.”

“Safe for _them_ , not you.” Lexa retorted, but softened the bitter statement with an honest smile. “Be safe, Alehan.” She ducked her head and chastely kissed Clarke on the lips and disappeared into the Mountain, apparently as weird with goodbyes as Clarke was.

Clarke’s heart fluttered wildly in her chest though, and a big grin spread on her face.

It felt good to be called Alehan again.

 

* * *

 

The three Arkers quietly crept the corridors, ducking into nooks and crannies, that showed Clarke that both Bellamy and Monty had become experts in evading the Mount Weather guards.

“So…” Monty whispered when they were sure they were alone in the hallway. “Your girlfriend has wings…”

Clarke smiled at him for trying to break the tension that still remained as Bellamy rigidly and silently guided them toward the dorm.

“Yep.” She proudly answered.

“And she’s a vampire…” Monty stated uncertainly, like he was having trouble reconciling the notion with what he had seen of Lexa earlier.

“Bellamy told you that?”

Monty nodded and glanced at Bell.

“Is that all he told you about her?” Clarke scowled and Bellamy stopped walking.

“It’s what she is.” He angrily glared at Clarke.

“She’s actually never called herself that.” Clarke replied.

Monster. Abomination. Those had been the words Lexa had used even when she was none of those things.

“I can see her reflection in a mirror, she can walk in the sun. She doesn’t sleep in a coffin and is fine with garlic…” Clarke sarcastically trailed off.

She knew she was only looking to pick a fight with Bellamy and realised that it wasn’t the time or the place but Clarke couldn’t help herself. It pissed her off that he was walking around with that gigantic chip on his shoulder thinking that he had any right to think bad of Lexa.

“She drinks human blood and is therefore a vampire. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that she doesn’t.”

“I’m fine with her drinking human blood, actually.” Clarke glared right back at him. “So are the thousands of her people. She needs it to survive. Same as you and I need to eat and drink.”

Bellamy let out a derisive snort and continued walking. “You’re just as deluded as her people are. Worshipping her like some kind of all-knowing god. It’s not natural.”

“She has been protecting them for decades. She’s the reason they’ve survived for this long; that the clans live together in peace.”

Clarke was saying this more for Monty’s benefit than trying to convince Bellamy to let go of his prejudice.

“She broke her promise. Or did you forget that the army she promised us have retreated?”

Clarke chuckled incredulously.

“Did you forget that she’s in this Mountain right now, trying to save our people? Or are you that intent on focusing on only the things that make her look bad in your eyes?”

“She can’t be trusted, Clarke.” Bellamy angrily hissed.

“And why is that?” Clarke lifted a brow. “Aside from not looking and eating like the rest of us, what has she done that’s got you so against her? The fact that she killed those guards that day _we_ decided to declare war on her people?” Clarke tilted her head in questions. “Or was it when I chose not to have drinks with you so that I could spend more time with her?”

It was a low blow, and Clarke could see when it hit Bellamy right in the gut. She didn’t care though, he was acting like a little boy who’d gotten his heart broken for the first time and they had more important things to worry about than his bruised ego.

Bellamy didn’t answer and stood there glaring at Clarke, which really was answer enough. They’d stopped walking altogether, and the dorm was just around the corner. Clarke knew they should just leave it and go, but part of her blamed Bellamy for Gustus’s death. If he hadn’t run off, O wouldn’t have been beside herself with worry and wouldn’t have gone looking for them and Clarke wouldn’t have been so stupid as to wander after her so deep into the forest.

Both Clarke and Octavia had admitted their own part in what had happened and felt remorse for it. And Clarke really needed Bellamy to understand that his actions had consequences.

“Didn’t you like it when she called you impulsive?” Clarke continued. “Because you are. You’re impulsive and selfish.”

“Oh, _I’m_ the selfish one?” He sneered. “ _I’m_ the one who practically abandoned my people to move into a vampire’s tent, doing god knows what with it while my friends died up here?”

Clarke’s jaw clenched and she looked to Monty who was staring at the floor. She really hoped he didn’t believe that.

“Because we chose to plan this attack instead of just blindly rushing in, that suddenly means I don’t care? That gives you the right to decide on your own what was best for our people?”

“If I hadn’t acted when I did, the fog would still be up and our friends would still be dying!”

“You didn’t even wait to hear whether the radio was back up so that you could make contact with Raven. You left the instant I punched you and you realised that she didn’t have me under some sort of spell.” Clarke angrily huffed. “You need to rein in this hero-complex of yours, Bell. You were lucky to get in here. _Lucky_ that you weren’t killed outside the door, or haven’t been caught yet. Lucky that Maya had decided to help us. _None_ of what you’ve done has been brave. You’ve been stupid, arrogant and _lucky_.”

“Looks like his luck has finally run out.”

The three of them froze at the sound of the voice and the clicking of metal as various guns were pointed at them.

“Fuck.” Clarke muttered.

“Indeed.” The same male voice said behind her. “Hands in the air.”

Clarke obeyed. Lexa was going to kill her if she died now. Lexa was going to kill her for stupidly losing focus and picking a fight with Bellamy when Lexa herself had been a big enough person not to let his presence distract her from what was important.

A group of six guards quickly surrounded and disarmed them, before cool metal pressed against Clarke’s temple.

“I thought you would leave with the savages after they betrayed you...”

 _Emerson._ Clarke wasn’t sure how she could remember his voice, but he was the only one who she’d interacted with outside by the main door. Lexa’s blood was probably helping with that.

“But it seems as though you’ve brought your pet with you. The President needs you to muzzle her, and soon.” He sneered.

Clarke didn’t reply. Emerson wasn’t the one who wanted answers, he would take her to Cage soon enough and Clarke would come up with a plan then.

“Cuff those two.” Emerson instructed and Bellamy and Monty were handcuffed behind their backs, while he did the same to Clarke.

“I think it’s time for a little family reunion.” Clarke could hear the smirk in his voice, even though he was still behind her and the barrel of the gun was pressed against the side of her head.

She walked forward without protest, still berating herself for being so fucking careless.

They were marching toward the dorm, so at least there was that. Maybe Lexa would still come to save them. She hadn’t heard any gunshots yet…

No sooner had Clarke thought it, than she heard the low rumbling purr echoing down the hall toward them.

Everyone froze once again.

There were no footsteps, only that threatening growl, seemingly coming from all directions, before Lexa stepped into view, covered in blood, her sword literally dripping red onto the clean linoleum of the corridor. Her warpaint was smeared and blood spatters decorated her face.

She looked terrifying.

Lexa’s obsidian gaze was focused on Emerson as though the others in the crowded hallway didn’t exist. She bared her fangs, and hissed at him. Instinctively, Emerson pressed the barrel of the gun closer to Clarke’s temple, causing her to wince at the hard metal on the sensitive spot.

The once vicious vampire’s face instantly flashed with fear and horror.

_And no._

Clarke could feel Emerson slightly relaxing and could almost see the smug smirk spreading across his face in her mind’s eye.

“Stay back, or I’ll shoot her.” He called out to Lexa to test his theory.

Clarke knew that Lexa knew that it was a bluff. Clarke also knew that Lexa wouldn’t risk that it wasn’t.

_Clarke was a distraction._

“Kill him!” Clarke desperately shouted and promptly found the barrel beating down against her head, a blinding pain shot through her brain, making her feel dizzy.

Lexa let out a venomous growl, viciously hissing again, but didn’t make any other move.

* * *

 

Clarke, Bellamy and Monty were ushered into the dorm where Clarke’s eyes instantly widened when she discovered both Kane and her mother tied up with the rest of her friends. They must’ve been captured on their way back to Camp Jaha for more bone marrow... Clarke briefly made eye contact with her mom, trying to reassure Abby that she was fine, even though she was bleeding from where Emerson had hit her. Her eyes then quickly scanned over those present, like Monty had said, they were all still there, though Raven lay bleeding and unconscious on a table in the centre of the room.

Also present, was Cage Wallace, standing upright and smirking arrogantly as he watched Bellamy and Monty being cuffed to thick iron hooks fixed into the wall. Clarke shuddered in disgust as it made the dorm seem like a torture chamber.

The smirk on Cage’s face faltered when Lexa prowled into the room next, looking all kinds of intense and pissed off. The guards instantly cocked their weapons in her direction. Save for Emerson, who still had Clarke in front of him like a human shield, gun pressed against her head.

“The Grounder Creature won’t attack, it seems to have some sort of infatuation with Clarke.” Emerson told Cage, who lifted a brow, but kept his gaze on Lexa, whose dark eyes were slowly taking in the room, before they landed on Raven’s beaten and battered body.

“I have a proposition.” Lexa impassively stated, eyes shifting toward Cage, her low voice in the quiet room, taking the tension a few notches higher.

“Last time someone came to me with a proposition, I had been left a few hundred savages short and still under attack.” Cage sneered, folding his hands behind his back, and puffing out his chest as he stared right back at the vampire.

He had balls. Clarke had to give him that.

“The deal had been that the army would retreat. My army has retreated.” Lexa’s chest rumbled with that low threatening purr and Clarke could feel the hairs on Emerson’s arm stand upright. “Or are you calling me a liar Cage Wallace?”

Clarke could see him nervously gulping, but the smug smirk remained on his face.

“You have already killed eight of my men, so what is this deal you have in mind that will make me forget about that?” Cage suggested in a remarkably smooth and steady voice.

Clarke wondered if he knew what Lexa was capable of. Since he was aware that she’d already killed eight guards without a visible scratch on her, then surely he had some idea. Or was everyone in the room reacting only because of how demonic Lexa’s eyes looked and how predatory her growling and movements were?

“I have grown rather fond of some of these Sky People.” Lexa stoically announced, her hand gently resting on Raven’s ankle. “I would like for them all to go free and in return, I will give you what your people have sought for almost a century.”

“No!” Clarke shouted, knowing exactly what Lexa was about to suggest, and was promptly restrained by Emerson’s gun pressing firmly against her skull and his hand pulling her back against him by her cuffs.

Her outburst only piqued Cage’s interest and he suddenly looked a lot more willing to negotiate.

“How?”

Lexa didn’t say anything, instead she turned to Raven, her features noticeably softening.

“Forgive me for taking away your choice, Raven.” She murmured to the unconscious girl and bit into her own wrist. “I know you wear your scars with pride, but if there is anyone who deserves a body as strong as their mind, it is you.”

Lexa then gently cupped Raven’s neck and lifted her slightly, before she parted Raven’s lips and allowed her blood to drip into the unconscious mechanic’s mouth.

 

* * *

 

The room was deadly quiet as all eyes remained fixed on Raven. Cage must’ve sensed what Lexa was implying her blood could do, because instead of being an ass as anticipated, he patiently allowed the time for Lexa’s blood to heal Raven’s broken body.

Or maybe he was just scared to piss off the vampire…

But then Raven blinked her eyes open, smiling uncertainly when she saw Lexa’s face.

“Thought you weren’t coming to the party.” Raven smirked, but her face grew serious at the intense look on Lexa’s face.

It was only then that Raven seemed to remember the situation she was in, quickly glancing around her and nimbly jumped up off the table.

“What the hell?” She scowled down at her body, before her eyes met Clarke’s, noticing the gun Emerson still held steadily to Clarke’s head.

Raven’s head then snapped to Lexa who stoically glaring at Cage.

“Release the Sky People unharmed, and you may have my blood.”

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to My Duckie for checking my English and to Nocuus nocuus.tumblr.com who did some amazing cover art for this fic, like really professional looking and I didn't even have to ask but feel like I should've paid for it. Please go check it out and give it a like: alexispayton.tumblr.com
> 
> And also thank you for all the comments and for continuing to be a part of this emotional rollercoaster. I loved all the theories you guys had about Lexa's intentions last chapter, Firedancer34 hit the nail right on the head though. I especially liked those who had been so ready to throw poor Lexa under the bus, wanting Clarke to tear her a new one. Girl's still stuck at Dating 101, people, please give a break lol Mwah, you guys are great, please let me know what you thought of this one too! xx
> 
> 'His name is Cliff. He likes to hang around this fic because the Author never knows when to end a chapter (and she's not so secretly a major tease).'


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Graphic Violence and Torture, please don’t read if you are sensitive to this.
> 
> This chapter has been Duckie Approved. Thank you RPQ xx

 

“Is this permanent?” Raven incredulously asked Lexa, while experimentally shaking out her legs.

The two of them stood in the centre of the room, while Clarke’s people were being released from their hooks, only to have their hands re-cuffed behind their backs. Clarke couldn’t gauge Raven’s reaction to being healed yet. Too much was happening around them and Raven’s eyes continued to fervently scan their surroundings.

“Yes.” Lexa answered and then magnanimously opened her arms.

Raven looked completely bewildered for a split second, before she tentatively stepped forward and hugged the vampire. Clarke was confused to say the least and a tiny flare of jealousy burned in her belly when Lexa pressed her face into Raven’s neck.

“Maybe we should keep that one too.” Emerson chirped from behind Clarke.

“Seems like the Creature has created a little space-harem for herself.” Cage chuckled in response and though Clarke had referred to Lexa as a creature before, somehow Cage made the term sound monstrous.

Lexa let go of Raven, ushering her into the line of Arkers that the Mount Weather guards had constructed.

“I will see that they leave safely.” Lexa stoically announced.

“And I’m just supposed to trust that you won’t try anything? That _they_ won’t try anything?”

“All I need is to see them safely exit the Mountain. I myself do not need to leave with them.”

Cage looked to ponder the ultimatum for a moment.

“I want my sister and friend to come with us.” Bellamy suddenly spoke up. “They’re still here.”

Through all the excitement, Clarke had forgotten that Octavia was still somewhere in the facility. Cage hadn’t known this. O could’ve saved them. Yes, she was a bit of a loose cannon, but the girl was resourceful too, especially after being under Lincoln and Indra’s tutelage.

Clarke glared at Bellamy for taking away an opportunity for them to escape, even while she didn’t blame him for wanting O safe. Clarke really didn’t want anyone else to die for her.

“Ah.” Cage grinned. “For telling us about more of your spies, I will allow the Creature to witness your safe departure.”

Everyone then exited the room, Clarke having to plead with her mom to please leave and not make things any worse. Thankfully Kane had gently nudged Abby with his shoulder when one of the guards looked close to manhandling her out of there. Thanks to Lexa’s blood, Clarke could hear Bellamy calling Octavia to him on the radio and wondered what would happen to Maya. Did Cage know that she’d been helping them? Would she be safe? Even if she found a hazmat suit and was permitted to leave with the Arkers, it wouldn’t last her very long.

Clarke was wrought with worry, especially about what these people might do to Lexa. Just one look around the room, at the way her people had been imprisoned, and the cruelty was obvious. The Mountain Men cared little for anyone else. They would do - and had done - anything and everything to see their people survive.

“Guess we’ll see whether your demon girlfriend really cares about you now.” Emerson amusedly smirked.

There was no doubt in Clarke’s mind that Lexa would be back for her… Emerson knew this. Cage had seen it to, or he would never have agreed to Lexa’s terms. Then again, what had his choices been? The Heda was in his Mountain. Clarke wasn’t sure what Cage had seen Lexa do to his men, but it had been enough to scare him into cooperating. If Clarke wasn’t the perfect leverage, Lexa would’ve destroyed them all by now.

Clarke bit back the guilt and bile rising in her throat.

This was all her fault. She’d kept on dismissing Lexa’s concerns. _Selfish_. Clarke was every bit as selfish and stupid as she had accused Bellamy of being.

A selfish fucking hypocrite.

* * *

 

Clarke’s eyes burned as she watched them shackle Lexa’s wrists to the floor at her sides. The chains were so short, Lexa was forced onto her knees and sat on her haunches in the centre of the room. It had been cleared of the bed that stood there before and most of the clutter, and now all the points where restraints could be fastened were visible. Clarke briefly wondered for what purpose the Mountain Men would’ve possibly needed such a room before, when she remembered all the Grounders who had been captured and had most likely been experimented on in there.

It was a veritable torture chamber.

The only other people present with Clarke and Emerson, were Cage and a disturbing-looking doctor. The latter was staring at Lexa with a mixture of fear and menacing curiosity. Lexa avoided Clarke’s eyes and watched as the doctor accepted the empty bloodsets from a guard.

Cage had instructed two of them to man the door and the rest had been split into two groups: to comb the facility for more of Clarke’s people and to start work on restoring the turbines. By the sounds of the conversations Clarke was intently listening out for, Octavia and Jasper had made it out of the Mountain, but she’d heard nothing on Maya’s fate yet.

“After your people have all had of my blood, you will allow Klark to go back to her people.” Lexa sternly instructed, eyes on Cage who was staring at the iron shackles as though wondering whether they would hold.

Clarke was wondering why Lexa needed to be shackled at all, since they had Clarke. But she kept quiet, because she really had done enough. They’d cuffed her hands to a mercifully waist high railing and as far away from Lexa as possible in the suddenly small room. Emerson still stood close by though, weapon drawn, ready to shoot Clarke if Lexa so much as looked ready to attack.

“Well first I will need some answers.” Cage drawled, taking a subtle step back from Lexa.

“I saw a bullet enter your heart and another went clear through the carotid in your neck, right before you slaughtered my men… Yet both those fatal injuries have miraculously healed, does that make you immortal?” He tilted his head in question, eyes dark and sparkling diabolically.

“No living thing is immortal.” Lexa stoically declared. “I possess the ability of longevity.”

Cage wasn’t perturbed by the dismissive answer though.

“So you can heal yourself and others with your blood…” He pondered. “Does your blood also give them abilities and longevity?”

“Yes.” Lexa glared back at them.

Cage’s lips twitched as though he was fighting a giddy smile, but eventually just smirked instead.

“Can you prove it?”

“Take my blood and you will see the effects.”

Cage looked to contemplate that. “So if I give your blood to one of my men, he’ll be able to move as fast as you, heal as you do and live forever?”

“No.”

Cage’s jaw finally clenched in frustration.

“I’ve seen it myself.” Clarke finally spoke up and everyone’s eyes shifted to her as though remembering she was there. “She had given her blood to someone who didn’t age at all. He was stronger and faster too.”

“Who?” Cage asked suspiciously.

Clarke had been scared he would do something stupid if Lexa continued to rattle him, so she’d decided to mention Gustus, but wasn’t sure how much she should tell him now. Clarke’s eyes shifted to Lexa, hoping to gain some cue from her.

Lexa had to have a plan to get them out of there. She was Lexa.

“ _Gostos_.” Lexa lowly growled, her eyes shifting to glare at the floor in front of her, shoulders strained with tension.

Instead of asking more questions like Clarke had thought, Cage abruptly left the room.

Lexa didn’t look up again, not even when the doctor neared her with a manic looking smirk and inserted an IV cannula in Lexa’s forearm. He eagerly rolled a stand with a blood bag closer and connected the tubing to the cannula, frowning when - after a while - nothing happened.

A few minutes passed in tense silence, before the cannula dropped from Lexa’s arm, her body having dispelled the foreign object. Clarke had to suppress her smirk as the doctor angrily muttered to himself and returned to his worktable.

Cage re-entered the room with a pile of papers and crouched down in front of Lexa, still a good few feet away. He then placed six photographs down between them, and Clarke instantly recognized the hulking figure, even from where she was standing and swallowed thickly.

“Who or what is _this_?” Cage demanded.

“ _Gostos_ …” Lexa whispered, eyes glistening with tears and Clarke was jerked back toward her restraints when she involuntarily moved forward.

Clarke had momentarily forgotten how fresh the wound still was for Lexa. She herself remembered bursting into tears the first time she’d seen a picture of her father after his death.

“I had thought that _he_ was the Creature the savages kept on swearing would come for us. These pictures had been taken over a span of fifty years… Where is he now?” Cage asked.

The doctor returned with a roll of duct tape. He reinserted the cannula and then securely taped it onto Lexa’s arm.

Lexa didn’t answer Cage. Lexa _couldn’t_ answer him.

“He died recently.” Clarke whispered, a knot forming in her throat as she tried to will Lexa to look at her so she could attempt to offer some sort of comfort.

“Guess your magical blood did the big oaf no good then.” The doctor snickered.

Clarke wasn’t sure what she saw happen next: One of Lexa’s large wings flapped and the doctor was knocked toward her and a split second later, his trachea had been ripped out of his throat and was displayed in between Lexa’s fangs. The vampire viciously snarled as she spat out the organ onto the floor in front of her.

“Your blood is _weak_.” Lexa sneered through a bloody mouth, obsidian eyes murderously glittering. “Your _people_ are weak.” She spat out the remaining blood in her mouth as though she refused to ingest any of it. “My people grew strong on the Ground, while you hid away like _cowards_ , scared of a little bit of air.”

Her chest rumbled while she glared at Cage who Clarke only then noticed was pressed against the door of the room, as though he’d been about to run. He straightened though when he saw that Lexa wasn’t making a move to get out of her restraints and ran a hand through his hair, letting out a dry chuckle.

“He had been one of only two doctors.” Cage casually announced - a vein pulsing at his temple betraying just how upset he actually was - as he sneered at Lexa with cold eyes.

“Healers do not rejoice in the pain of others.” Lexa glibly responded.

“Regardless, we will need to teach you a lesson so that you’ll know to _behave_ while you’re a guest in my home.” Cage ominously sneered and left the room again.

* * *

 

The blood drip the dead doctor had set up was finally working and slowly draining Lexa of her blood.

Three guards had come in and carefully removed the doctor’s body, grabbing his arms to drag him away from Lexa to avoid getting too close the vampire. Emerson had pulled up a chair and quietly sat on it. Clarke was grateful that he wasn’t much of a talker. He’d been an ass every time he’d opened his mouth thus far.

Cage returned with four men, two carrying power tools and Clarke’s brow furrowed in worry. Especially when the president pulled his gun and walked over to her.

Lexa perked instantly and threateningly hissed when he pressed the gun to Clarke’s head.

“You brought this on yourself.” Cage sneered. “Now will you be a good little monster and allow these men to take my recompense for the slaughter of a valued employee?”

Lexa nodded, eyes fixed on the gun and Clarke startled when a loud grinding noise filled the room.

 _Bone saw_ … It was used to surgically cut through a patient’s bones…

_What?_

“No…” Clarke gasped out when the man cautiously moved behind Lexa.

A blind panic flooded Clarke and she harshly pulled at her cuffs when the other man joined him behind Lexa, the other two aiming their weapons at the vampire and Clarke realised what they were about to do.

“Please don’t do this.” Clarke begged Cage, who was smirking like he’d just been crowned King of the World. “You don’t have to do this. She won’t kill anyone else. I promise. Just please don’t do this.” She desperately begged, not even noticing the tears already streaming down her face.

“She needs to be taught a lesson.” Cage sneered and nodded at his men to proceed.

Lexa’s body jerked as one took hold of a large black wing and the other moved the saw closer to where it met Lexa’s shoulder blades.

Clarke _screamed_.

She hoarsely screamed even before the agonized cry tore out of Lexa’s throat and she doubled over in pain.

“Stop it! Please!”

Clarke’s frantic pleas fell on deaf ears as she continued to yank at her cuffs, mindlessly trying to get free and do _something_. Her legs gave out and Clarke sunk down onto her knees, still hysterically shouting and uselessly jerking at the restraints now above her head.

The bone saw stopped its horrifying noise and one of the men stood with Lexa’s beautiful wing in his hands.

Clarke’s chest heaved along with Lexa’s and exhaustedly hung on her restraints, as sweat dripped down both their temples. The vampire’s lips were parted as she panted; curled back to reveal sharp fangs; her features strained in pain.

“No…” Clarke whispered again, her body shaking as she sobbed, while the man placed Lexa’s wing down on the worktable and went back for the other one.

Clarke instantly restarted her futile attempt to get free, not caring that even if she were to somehow miraculously succeed, both Cage and Emerson were right there to stop her. But then her eyes met Lexa’s and Clarke’s world came to a grinding halt.

Lexa’s face was streaked with tears, the corners of her eyes and mouth pulled tight in agony and sorrow.

“Please stop, Klark.” Lexa shakily rasped, her gaze shifting to where Clarke’s hands remained cuffed to the railing above her head.

Clarke glanced up and only then did she feel the pain of where the metal cuffs had dug deep into her skin and blood was streaming down her arms. She looked back at Lexa who’s eyes had turned pleading and Clarke inhaled a shuddering breath and nodded that she would stop. Lexa clenched her jaw, visibly bracing herself, dark eyes piercing deep into Clarke’s when the bone saw started up again.

This time, when the saw shredded away at Lexa’s wing, the Heda didn’t make a single sound as she continued to stare right at Clarke, even as silent tears ran down her cheeks. Clarke wanted to look away, it was excruciating to watch them mutilate Lexa, but Lexa’s eyes kept her grounded. Lexa needed her to be strong. Clarke couldn’t control the way her body shook with sobs though. The only thing she could do was look back at Lexa and try not to make this any worse. Try to show Lexa a promise that they would make it out of this and that everything would be fine…

Clarke never wanted any of this. She would never regret meeting Lexa, but Clarke couldn’t help but hate herself for what her presence in Lexa’s life had cost the vampire. All that had happened to the Heda, had been because Lexa knew Clarke. Lexa hadn’t slaughtered the Arkers because of Clarke’s conversation with Raven about Finn.

As she powerlessly stared at Lexa’s face and could see nothing but the severe pain edged in Lexa’s features, Clarke couldn’t help but wish that Lexa had wiped them all out that day. Her thoughts were extreme and irrational and Clarke’s head was throbbing and cloudy. Clarke knew that if she could just get her hands on that saw, she would cut off her own limb to get free and stop them from hurting Lexa any more.

She only somewhat came out of her haze when the men left the room with Lexa’s wings.

“Now those will make some nice costumes for our next Thanksgiving showcase.” Cage animatedly chuckled and left the room as well.

Finally, Lexa released Clarke from her stare and looked to the floor, shoulders slumped and breathing heavily. She looked suddenly small. _Too_ small… Tiny and fragile…

Clarke rested back against the wall and pulled her knees up to her chest. She rested her forehead against them and quietly started weeping.

* * *

 

“She needs to feed, or you won’t get any more blood out of her.” Clarke gritted out as she watched Cage and his remaining doctor disconnect the umpteenth bag of blood from Lexa and place it in a small cooler box.

“I rather like her this docile.” Cage smirked and Clarke knew she would kill him the first opportunity she had.

She looked to where Emerson’s clean plate of food was being removed. He had only left her and Lexa alone once for a toilet break, and Cage himself had stood in his place to hold Clarke at gunpoint. Clarke wasn’t sure how much time had passed, even though there was a clock on the wall she’d noticed only a few moments before. Lexa hadn’t looked back up since her wings had been taken, hunched over on her knees, so deathly pale that her veins were visible from across the room.

“Did I forget to mention that my blood will not heal you forever?” Lexa spoke and the room stilled to watch her slowly raise her head; eyes still dark and defiant, glaring at Cage and Clarke’s chest swelled with pride that Lexa hadn’t been broken. “It is a temporary solution; the effects are dependent on each person’s constitution. I cannot say how long it will last, but only confirm that it will not last.” Her lips curled in warning, flashing her fangs. “If Klark dies, I will kill all of you, and since you have released all of your prisoners, should _I_ die, you will all die too.”

Cage’s eye twitched and he glared at Lexa, before turning toward Emerson.

“If she continues to behave, she can have some of the savage blood we have stocked, in the morning. For now, we’ll need to test her blood and see whether she’s lying about being indispensable.”

“Probably should’ve done that before letting all our people go.” Clarke retorted, smirking widely at the vicious sneer sent in her direction.

“ _Maybe_ you will get breakfast in the morning too.” Cage petulantly sneered. “Emerson, you guard them, no one else. I need to see to our people.”

Clarke kept on glaring at Cage, as far as she could tell they were still working on the turbines. The people were probably getting antsy being cooped up in the dining hall, and that’s why Cage kept on leaving to go play nice Mr President.

“We’ll use the creature’s blood for as long as is needed to take our rightful place on the Ground.” He sinisterly promised. “And then we will take back our land from those savages,” he smirked when Lexa growled, “and get back our bone marrow.”

Clarke continued to glare at him, not even the least bit surprised at the statement. Cage saw the Grounders as savages. He wasn’t going to live in peace with them. Ever. And her own people were a threat because they had guns too. Cage would most likely go for them first. He’d already struck against them when Mount Weather disrupted the signalling beacons, causing the Ark Stations to crash on the Ground and killing the majority of her people with it.

Clarke just hoped that if she and Lexa didn’t make it out of the Mountain, that their people would remain united. Considering that Lexa had saved them all, Clarke hoped that Kane and Indra and her mother would be able to hold the alliance against the Mountain Men.

The president left shortly after making his dire pledge and Clarke was left to wonder whether Lexa was so weak that she didn’t have the energy to look up, or if she was doing some sort of meditation to heal herself. Could Lexa even replenish her own blood? It was possible considering the way her body healed… Clarke could hardly ask her now in front of Emerson.

There was so much she still didn’t know about Lexa. So much Clarke wanted to know. This couldn’t be the end. Lexa had to have plan. She just _had_ to. Would Lexa really have sacrificed herself without one in place? Just to save Clarke’s people? To save Clarke? Had Lexa told Cage about the effect of her blood not lasting because she needed to make sure to stay alive? Because both of them knew that if Lexa were to die – could she really die? -, Clarke would be killed shortly thereafter.

 _No_.

Clarke would make sure that Lexa didn’t die in that Mountain. Lexa was there because of Clarke. She’d saved Clarke and her people. Lexa had given Clarke reason to trust again and taught her to believe in herself, when everyone else was blaming Clarke and telling her that she wasn’t enough.

Lexa believed that Clarke’s heart was strong and her mind was sharp. Clarke needed to prove that that was true now more than ever.

Clarke needed to save Lexa.

* * *

 

“Do you know what’s funny?” Clarke asked Emerson, while not looking amused at all. “You calling her a creature and a demon, when she’s been feeding predominantly off of one person for the last century, while your people have killed _thousands_ ; bled them dry in a procedure that didn’t even need to be fatal.” She sneered in disgust. “ _You_ are the monsters here. Not her.”

Emerson flat out laughed in Clarke’s face.

“So you’ve developed feelings for the _demon_.” He smirked, his eyes laughing like he thought it was the funniest thing. “And here I thought you were being smart and trying to survive by aligning with it…”

Clarke lifted her chin, wondering whether there would ever come a time where she would deny her feelings for Lexa. She hadn’t skirted around it when her mother had caught them that first time in her room, and she surely wasn’t going to now with this asshat.

“It’s more than that.” Clarke smirked when a crazy plan sparked in her head. “You know she’s perfect, right? Stronger than anyone or anything I’ve ever seen…” She stepped closer – or as close as she could manage with her cuffs. Clarke ignored the aching burn of her cuts, knowing she’d get an infection were they to remain untreated, and evenly stared at Emerson when he amusedly lifted his gun to her head.

A low warning growl echoed through the room, causing both Emerson and Clarke to freeze.

Almost instantly, Clarke’s smirk grew, while Emerson blanched and looked at the hard obsidian glare directed at him. Lexa was pale, her war paint smeared, but her intense eyes still sparkled dangerously.

“Do you really think those chains can hold her?” Clarke continued, wondering whether Lexa would catch on to what she was doing.

“That’s why we have you. Your little pet won’t do anything that would harm you.”

Clarke nodded sagely.

“And I’ve been very selfish. I’ve allowed her to get hurt.” Clarke swallowed thickly as the truth of that made her heart clench and her stomach twist. “So maybe I should remove the hold you have on her and you can see what she does then –

\- _Klark_.” Lexa admonished, shifting her gaze onto Clarke. Her eyes were still pitch black and Clarke just knew it was because of how weak and in pain Lexa currently was, in addition to her mourning Gustus. Clarke would give _anything_ to see those pretty green eyes again. “ _Don’t_.” Lexa sternly warned and Clarke smiled, because whether her plan worked or not, the Mountain would still fall after she executed it and Lexa and their people would be safe.

Clarke took a step back from Emerson, unperturbed by the gun, which lowered as Emerson stared suspiciously between the two women. Lexa’s eyes shifted briefly to the clock on the wall and then back to Clarke.

“Are you saying you won’t avenge me if he kills me?” Clarke smirked.

Another vicious growl thundered in Lexa’s chest and Clarke had to bite her cheek when Emerson turned the gun on Lexa out of pure instinct alone.

“I would tear down this Mountain with my bare hands until nothing remained but rubble and flesh.” Lexa sneered, baring her fangs, that low predatory purr rumbled in her throat and eerily echoed off of the walls.

Emerson looked genuinely petrified for about five more seconds, before he slowly smirked and turned his gun on Clarke again, calling their bluff.

“You’re saying you want Clarke to sacrifice herself, just so that you can live and kill us all?” He asked Lexa. “You’d watch her die in front of your very eyes right now?”

Lexa’s eyes shifted, like she was thinking, but Clarke noticed that they went to the wall clock again, before lowering as though in thought, and her entire body slumped in defeat.

“Klark?” Lexa murmured, looking up again, her black eyes so full of emotion it made Clarke’s heart and lungs ache, and her nose and eyes burn.

“Yes?” Clarke croaked, forgetting about Emerson and focusing entirely on the woman kneeling a few feet away from her, so very small now without those majestic wings on her back. Clarke wanted nothing more than to rip off Lexa’s chains and pull her into her arms, and never allow anyone to hurt her ever again.

“How will I know when I am in love?” Lexa softly wondered.

It was such a random question that Clarke struggled to fight the hitch in her breath, but knew that Lexa must’ve heard the skip in her heart. She ignored Emerson snorting as he amusedly stared between them as though he was watching a soap opera on television.

“I’m not sure...” Clarke honestly answered. “It’s not something quantifiable. It’s different for everyone. I guess you just _know_. It’s just different; A good different.”

Clarke cringed at her explanation. Her heart rate had picked up because now she anticipated that Lexa would either ask whether Clarke had been in love before and whether she was in love with Lexa now. Her answer to the former would be that yes, Clarke had thought that she was. And to the latter? _Yes_ , yes Clarke was _deeply_ in love with the Heda.

But Lexa was quiet for a moment, seemingly lost in thought as she tended to become. Just staring up at the clock on the wall and maybe Clarke had just imagined her purposely looking at it before; so desperate for Lexa to have a plan to get them out of there that she was reading too much into things. Clarke hardly even registered Emerson’s long suffering sigh as he lowered his weapon and sat back down on his chair, probably happy they weren’t trying to bluff their way out of confinement to stop the conversation. Clarke ignored him, too intently focused on where Lexa was going with her questions. Because if Clarke was about to die, she would die happy if the last words she heard was Lexa professing her love.

“I have read that people would often compare the ones they are enamoured with to the sun…” Lexa finally murmured, her eyes soft and glittering and Clarke’s heart thudded to attention. “But all I can think of comparing you to is the moon. Luminous… Captivating… Temperate…” Clarke smiled at the description.

Few people would describe her as _temperate_. Okay, no one probably would. But ever since she’d met Lexa, there had been a definite calmness that had settled over her. Clarke still had her moments of stress-induced panic and anger when the moment called for it. But Lexa had always been able to bring her back from that, sometimes by only remaining close.

Lexa was the sole reason for Clarke’s stillness in a chaotic world.

“Perhaps, to some, the moon seems to be less passionate than the sun, but to me, the sun is more fleeting in its nature, as no one can admire it without being blinded.” Lexa lazily smirked and Clarke grinned, having to dig her heels into the floor to keep from going to Lexa, cuffs be damned.  “And yet I can gaze at the moon for ages… Become entirely and willingly lost in its radiance…”

Lexa glanced at the clock again and Clarke realized that yes, she was checking the time. Could Lexa even tell time? Clarke almost snorted out loud; _of course_ she could. She was Lexa. But then the vampire spoke again and Clarke forgot about time entirely.

“It is true that no one can ignore the rising sun, gloriously blazing each morning, heating up the world and making everything brighter…” Lexa’s soft, confident voice washed over Clarke like a soothing balm. “But when the moon rises, it sneaks up on you, until you find yourself unexpectedly basking in its silvery glow upon your skin… So subtle and unobtrusive, yet still warming you from the inside... And when you glance up in stunned reverence, it feels as though the moon is staring right back at you, and you alone, and suddenly the darkness that you’d been shrouded in for seemingly all of your life, dissipates, and the world you could not see before – the one you had barely known existed - is vastly brighter and astonishingly beautiful.”

Clarke’s heart pounded away in her chest as she stared back at Lexa, wanting to shout to the entire world how much she loved the vampire, but didn’t want to make a sound before Lexa was finished speaking.

“Of all I have seen in my many years, I had never come across anything as striking as a full moon hanging against a clear night sky… Until I met you, Klark.” She warmly smiled and Clarke blushed in utter delight despite their surroundings. “You lit up my world in ways I had not imagined possible, and became the moon of my life... Not the sun as the books had made me believe should happen. So now I wonder: Is this what love is supposed to feel like? Or do I not love you correctly?”

Clarke grinned back and was about to tell Lexa that no one has ever loved her as perfectly as Lexa has, but Emerson decided to use that moment to be a complete dick.

“Okay, shut up.” He huffed out in agitation, getting up and aiming his gun at Clarke again. “I might just shoot you so I don’t have to hear this cheesy crap anymore.”

Clarke knew that Emerson was a survivor. He _wanted_ to live. He had someone’s bone marrow inside of him and all his life Emerson probably wanted one thing and one thing only: To walk outside on the surface and feel the sun beating down on his skin. If there was one thing Clarke knew about Carl Emerson, it was that he didn’t want to die.

“Do it.” Clarke dared, lifting her chin and leaning in closer, until the barrel of his gun was pressed against her forehead.

Lexa growled and Clarke could hear her yanking at her shackles. She wasn’t sure what Lexa was waiting for with the constant clock checking, but that beautiful declaration of love was the perfect ammunition for Clarke’s plan and gave her hope that this just might work. Even more motivating, was the thickening of the air around them; a crackling of electricity and then the slight glaze coming over Emerson’s eyes as he visibly inhaled a deep breath.

“You heard what she said.” Clarke gently spoke. “How she feels about me. Kill me and I guarantee that you’ll be dead before I can even bleed out on the floor.”

“Klark.” Lexa growled out another warning, even as the air continued to shift around them.

Clarke hoped that Lexa was playing along. Lexa must’ve figured out the plan and that’s why she’d said what she’d said and why she was attempting to pump her pheromones into the room. There couldn’t be a doubt in Emerson’s mind about how Lexa felt now. He could’ve just looked in Lexa’s eyes and known without her saying a single word.

“No, Leksa.” Clarke answered, eyes intently boring into Emerson’s. “I refuse to spend another second watching you suffer. You sacrificed yourself for my people. They’re all safe because of you, but these people are going to bleed you dry and then kill you, because if they don’t, you’ll kill _them._ And after they kill you, they’re gonna kill me too. Because I’ll no longer be of any use to them. So I can choose to watch them torture you and die when they finally take too much of your blood. Or I can choose to die now, and then you break those chains, tie this fucker up and make him listen to you slaughter every single one of his people, before you finally come for him.” She smirked at Emerson’s paling features when he realised that Clarke had a point: she would die anyway.

Lexa started that predatory purr again, and Clarke wished she could’ve seen those magnificent black wings rising in the air to complete the perfect picture of intimidation...

“So what’s it gonna be, Emerson?” Clarke smugly smirked. “You kill me, or I cut myself on these cuffs until I bleed out and die and she kills you because your leverage is dead. Or you uncuff me and give me that gun along with your access card and allow us to escape.”

“You’ll just leave?” Emerson murmured, looking slightly dazed and confused.

“We will only kill those who stand in our way.” Lexa snarled, roughly yanking at her chains. They looked seconds away from snapping and Clarke wanted to kiss Lexa for catching on so quickly.

_Fucking beautiful and brilliant vampire._

Emerson took his time thinking, so lost in thought that had Clarke not been cuffed she would’ve been able to easily disarm him. Then the air grew even thicker and Emerson greedily sucked in another deep breath.

“You want to save your people, don’t you?” Clarke softly suggested and Emerson blindly nodded in agreement. “Then uncuff me and they’ll all be safe… I promise…”

Emerson slowly removed the keys from his pocket chain and undid Clarke’s handcuffs. Her heart was beating so frantically that Clarke feared it would be audible enough to wake Emerson from his stupor.

“May I have your gun please?” She asked in the gentlest voice she could muster, struggling not to react and shoot Emerson the instant the metal touched her palm. A gunshot would alert the others though.

Clarke was feeling dizzy with anxiety. She couldn’t believe this was working. The sound of metal snapping gained her attention, and almost gave Clarke a heart attack as her head turned to Lexa now standing upright, still looking worse for wear, but standing nonetheless.

Emerson was still gently swaying in place, staring off at nothing with a small smile on his face. Apparently Lexa’s pheromones could have a more potent effect. Perhaps it was because they were confined to the room and it was more concentrated? Clarke would ponder the details later though and slowly moved forward.

“Just wait here, okay? Everything will be fine soon. You and your people will be safe.” She murmured while she cuffed Emerson to the railing.

“Gag him, Klark.” Lexa instructed, having moved to the doctors’ table to get the keys for the padlocks on her shackles and was busy removing them.

Clarke quickly tore a piece of her shirt off and tied it across Emerson’s mouth.

She didn’t bother speaking to him again as she hurried over to Lexa and hugged her tightly toward her in relief. Lexa held her too, but Clarke could feel that it wasn’t with her usual strength. She was weak. Clarke needed to get her out of there.

“Do you hear any guards out there?” She tried to confirm. Clarke herself hadn’t heard anyone. She was sure she’d heard the guards leave with Cage the last time he’d been there.

Lexa shook her head no and inhaled a deep breath of Clarke’s scent, nuzzling into her hair.

“I’m so sorry, Leksa.” Clarke nuzzled her back, ignoring the blood caked in Lexa’s hair and staining her face. “I’ll be better.” She hiccuped, desperately clinging onto Lexa's frail body. “I promise that I’ll be better for you.”

Lexa held her a moment longer and slowly moved back to look into Clarke’s eyes.

“I am here because it was a decision that _I_ had made.” Lexa murmured, licking her dry lips and swallowing thickly. “I do not regret my choices, especially when I still have you in my arms because of them.”

 _And Jesus fucking Christ_. Sometimes Clarke just didn’t know why Lexa wanted her. She so didn’t deserve someone as pure and beautiful in her life. But Clarke would try her fucking best to not fail Lexa again.

Clarke pressed a kiss to Lexa’s chapped lips, another to her cheek and just because she couldn’t help herself, she lingered her lips over Lexa’s forehead. Nodding quickly that she wouldn’t argue with Lexa, especially not since they needed to get the hell out of there.

“We should go, I dunno when Cage will be back.” Clarke reluctantly moved away from Lexa and took hold of her hand, her jaw clenching at the weak grip that met her fingers.

Clarke hurriedly led them through the door and down the maze of corridors.

* * *

 

Clarke halted a few minutes later, Lexa knocking into her back and almost falling to the ground had Clarke not caught her in time.

“Why are we stopping?” Lexa hoarsely rasped, leaning heavily against Clarke, and Clarke wrapped an arm around her slender waist to provide extra support.

“You should’ve just eaten that bastard.” Clarke lowly growled out her frustration, wanting to punch herself in the face.

Had Lexa not been so out of it, she would’ve no doubt thought of it herself.

“We cannot go back now.” Lexa weakly murmured.

“Drink some of my blood then, it will make you stronger.” Clarke said tilting her head and baring her neck.

Lexa hummed and licked her lips, her eyes managing to somehow grow even darker. The air grew thicker around them and Clarke wondered whether Lexa had released her pheromones on purpose earlier or whether she was just so weak that her instincts were taking over. Lexa must’ve used the last bit of her strength to break those chains. Another sign that she wasn’t thinking like she usually would, because she could’ve just waited for Clarke to release her.

“Come on, Gorgeous, take some of my blood, ‘cause we need to get out of here.” Clarke murmured in encouragement when Lexa just continued to stare at her neck with hooded eyes.

“I am too weak. I will not be able to stop once I start.” Lexa dejectedly sighed and moved away, but took hold of Clarke’s hand again. “I can keep moving. We can revisit this once you are safe.” She started pulling Clarke down the corridors and Clarke wanted to argue, but there wasn’t any time and Lexa seemed to have found her second or fifth breath as she led them toward the tunnel exit.

They were almost there when the alarms went off and Clarke swore under her breath again.

Lexa moved faster, her steps awkward and Clarke finally realized that without her wings, Lexa needed to re-accustom her balance to compensate for the sudden lack of weight. Clarke easily moved forward and wrapped her arm around Lexa’s waist and started guiding her forward faster.

She could hear footsteps running toward them, but was unsure whether it was still Lexa’s blood enhancing her hearing or if the guards were that close to finding them. Breathing out a puff of air when she saw the exit, Clarke took out the keycard when they were a few feet from the door.

“Stop, or we’ll shoot!” A few guards in hazmat suits rounded the corner, ready to chase them through the tunnels if they had to.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck._ Clarke swore as she scrambled to open the door.

A few shots rang out a split second after Lexa covered Clarke with her own, small body. A bullet still grazed Clarke’s thigh that she barely took note of through the adrenaline rushing throughout her body. She finally managed to get the door open, rushing through it and came to an abrupt stop when Lexa’s hand was ripped out of her own.

Clarke spun around and it took her a split second to realise what Lexa was about to do.

“Don’t!” Clarke shouted, moving forward again, but Lexa was too fast.

“Run, Klark!” She shouted back and shut the door in Clarke’s face.

Clarke could hear her growling viciously on the other side as gunfire broke out once again.

“Leksa!” She desperately screamed, pounding her fists against the door until her knuckles were torn open and her hands had gone completely numb.

* * *

 

Clarke tried to steady her ragged breathing and then hauled her body into an upright position from where she had been leaning against the door, sweat and tears running down her face.

She took a few steps back and aimed her gun at where she thought the locking mechanism might be and fired off one shot. The sound was deafening in the tunnel, as the bullet ricocheted back and grazed her upper arm.

“Fuck!” Clarke screamed, a new flood of tears streaming down her face.

She was exhausted, bleeding from her thigh and arm, she’d fractured at least two fingers when she’d beaten her fists against the door. Her mouth was dry, her tongue felt thick and heavy as her head pounded throbbing pulses behind her eyes.

Clarke stood there, clutching onto her gun, trying to think what Lexa would need her to do.

Lexa was in the Mountain because Clarke hadn’t listened to her. Lexa had told Clarke to run. Had Lexa said that because she had a plan to escape? Would Clarke going back in place them back at square one, where Lexa refused to save herself because Clarke’s life would be used as leverage to make her obey? Would Clarke not listening _again_ make things even worse? Did Lexa have a plan at all? Or did she lock Clarke out because she needed Clarke to escape no matter the cost to herself?

Lexa had been so weak though…

They’d been shooting at her, which would just make her weaker… Why hadn’t they come for Clarke? The fact that nobody had opened the door yet, must mean that Lexa was still giving them hell… That Lexa had killed the guards chasing after them? If she had, why didn’t Lexa come out again? Was she running? Were they still chasing her? Did Lexa have a chance to feed on one of them to make her strong again? Was she going after Cage? Should Clarke just do as Lexa had told her to?

They wouldn’t kill Lexa... Cage wouldn’t be stupid enough to kill her.

But if Lexa was angry enough to threaten his life… Should Clarke go and get reinforcements? Storm the Mountain again? Did Lexa have time for that? Did Lexa need her now? Did Lexa need her to run?

Clarke’s head spun as her thoughts ran around in circles. Her chest constricted and her lungs burned with hurt and doubt and fatigue. The image of them cutting Lexa’s wings off wouldn’t leave her. What would Cage do to Lexa to punish her for Clarke’s escape? Clarke grew nauseous at the thought and stumbled a few feet back, throwing up the bile in her stomach. Her body retched violently, and Clarke couldn’t even remember when last she’d eaten. She was in no state to rescue anybody. She had failed Lexa. Again. Lexa had been hurt because of her. Lexa had lost her wings and her brother because of Clarke…

“Clarke?”

Clarke spun around and instinctively fired toward the sound of her name. Her lips parted in shock as she took in the group of about fifty Arkers and Grounders squished into the tunnel, all ducked down to avoid the wayward shot. Abby stood at the front of the throng, in between Indra and Kane.

Clarke almost threw up again in her relief as she ran into her mother’s arms and burst into tears.

“She saved me.” Clarke hoarsely cried into Abby’s chest. “They hurt her Mom. Because of _me_ and she still saved me.” Clarke’s body shook as she cried, unable to care that everyone was watching.

“She saved all of us too.” Abby murmured and kissed Clarke on the forehead, gently pushing her away only to instantly shine a light in her eyes. “Have some water, Honey.” She soothingly spoke and Clarke mindlessly did as instructed.

She carefully sipped on the water while her mother examined her wrists and bullet wounds, allowing her eyes to wander over the crowd.

Raven stood next to O, Lincoln and Bellamy. Monty and Jasper were there too. So were most of the Hundred that had been held prisoner in Mount Weather; all wearing Kevlar vests and armed with semi-automatic weapons.

 _Good._ Clarke started nodding.

“Good.” She said out loud. “Our Heda saved us, it’s time we returned the favour.”

She blindly turned from Abby and started toward the door, lifting her gun again to shoot it down.

“Clarke.” Raven’s hand squeezed her shoulder. “We have a keycard.” She softly smiled. “Just let your mom stop your bleeding real quick and then we’ll go get your woman, okay?”

Clarke looked at the door again.

There were no gunshots or growling coming from behind it. The quiet made her anxious. Clarke needed to get back in there, but she also needed to not be captured again and used against Lexa. So she nodded and had her Mom treat her wounds. She ate of the dry rations she was given and sipped on water every few seconds.

“We’ll split into three teams.” Clarke started talking while she watched her mother clean her damaged wrists. “Mix them up with Arkers and Grounders so that our weapons are evenly distributed. Everyone is on Level Five, so we need to attack there. The halls are narrow, so if you run into any guards, make sure you have some cover, or retreat to another level, where they can’t follow… Did you bring a map?” She asked Raven, who nodded at Monty to open the map. “Indra you’ll take a team here,” she pointed at a spot where she remembered seeing metal lockers, “Kane, you take a group here,” she pointed to where the laundry room was with large bins on the outside to provide cover. “Make some noise while I take a small team to the control room on Level Seven. They can’t leave Level Five without hazmat suits, so we’ll be fine as long as we’re not discovered. That’s how they got the jump on us last time. This place is crawling with cameras. If we take out their eyes, we have an even playing field again.”

Clarke got up and looked at her mother, wanting to tell Abby to stay outside. Like Lexa had told her to do. Clarke might’ve been closer to her father, but she was definitely her mother’s daughter. She didn’t need to confirm what Abby’s response to her request would be, so she turned to Kane.

“If anything happens to my mother, I’ll kill you.” Clarke deadpanned, ignoring Abby’s admonishment while Kane just smirked and nodded.

She grabbed the keycard from Raven.

Clarke was so done with this day already. She was gonna go get Lexa and make sure that nothing bad happened to the vampire ever again.

“Raven and Monty, I’m gonna need you with me, ‘cause I know shit about electronics.” She spoke over her shoulder as the door thankfully clicked open after being shot at.

Clarke ignored the murmur behind her as the groups organized themselves. She ignored Jasper’s declaration that he was only there for Maya and took Miller and Harper with him to go find her. Clarke almost shouted at him for just taking it upon himself to go off, practically feeling Indra’s disapproval at the insubordination, radiating off of the warrior in waves, but Clarke was standing in the hall now, dead guards littering the passageway. Red streaks of blood everywhere, and no sign of Lexa.

That was good, right? Lexa must’ve led them away from the door. Away from Clarke. So that Clarke could run and have a chance at getting away... She bit the inside of her cheek as her conscious screamed at her that she was _again_ going against Lexa’s advice.

“Come on, Griffin.” Raven walked passed her. “Monty knows the way.”

Clarke followed passed the dead bodies, scanning them intently for fang marks, hoping that Lexa had time to drink some blood. It was all the vampire would need to tear the Mountain down. But the light blue suits hadn’t been ruptured, as though Lexa had snapped their necks, some had their oxygen tubes broken off, others their masks cracked. The way the blood was smeared over the material, it looked as though it wasn’t _their_ blood at all. It was _Lexa’s_ blood covering them and the hallway.

 _Lexa was still alive,_ that’s all Clarke needed to believe to keep on going. She felt tears prickling in her eyes again, so switched her focus.

“Thank you for coming back for us.” Clarke hoarsely murmured, taking in her friends, Lincoln and Octavia guarding her rear, while Raven, Bellamy and Monty took point toward the Control Room.

Raven sent Clarke a smirk over her shoulder. “Your Heda whispered sweet nothings into my neck, while she slipped a keycard _deep_ into my front pocket and told me to get Indra and to then come and get you in the tunnel. We grabbed the horses, the rest of the army is still on their way on foot.”

Clarke almost smiled.

Lexa _had_ been looking at the clock, having probably calculated how long it would take for Raven to go down the Mountain and for Indra to come back up again. She hadn’t known who would be coming, just that their people would come. Clarke wondered what Lexa’s plan would’ve been if she hadn’t started threatening suicide. It would’ve probably been a way better one.

“We wouldn’t have left you here anyway; you didn’t leave us.” Monty softly murmured and Clarke wanted to choke up again, and she was so fucking _done_ with crying.

She quickly cleared her throat and ignored how nice it felt that they’d come back for her. None of them had needed to. They had all been safe.

“They probably know we’re coming already.” Clarke sighed, looking up into the camera directed at them. If Lexa was still on the loose, they’d be looking for her too. “We’re going to need to clear them out…” Clarke slowly warned, needing to make sure her friends knew what needed to be done.

Raven cocked her gun and started walking faster. “Yeah, I’m counting on it.”

Clarke wasn’t sure what had been done to Raven by the Mountain Men, but judging from the way she’d looked before Lexa had healed her, it couldn’t have been good. The Mountain Men were monsters. Many of them at least. The guards hadn’t even batted an eye when following Cage’s instructions. The way the Mountain Men treated the Grounders was the most telling of their radical prejudice.

Even Monty’s kind face was polluted with anger. He’d told her how they’d murdered their own people for hiding their friends away. _Angry_ wasn’t a good place to be at, but it served its purpose in that moment. It kept them focused on their task.

The door to the Control Room swung open when they neared it and a few guards came running up the corridor to aid the two inside. Clarke’s eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched, because _none_ of them were wearing suits.

They had all taken Lexa’s blood.

Clarke screamed in a blind rage, rapidly firing her gun, as all hell broke loose in the corridor.

* * *

 

Clarke had been shot again.

This time in her side, the bullet luckily went straight through though. Raven had been shot in the shoulder and Monty in his leg, but they’d eventually taken the Control Room. If it hadn’t been for Bellamy, Lincoln and O, they would most likely be dead. Clarke had never pretended that she was a warrior. Her skills lay elsewhere...

After quickly patching each other up – Monty first so he could start drawing up the screens Clarke requested – and locking themselves inside the room, Clarke’s eyes rapidly scanned the various shots of Mount Weather.

It was easy to find where the fighting was taking place as the cameras had already been focused there, but she was looking for Lexa. Cage was in the large hall on Level Five where most of his people were confined, the doors outside heavily guarded.

“Bellamy.” Clarke murmured, addressing him for the first time since they’d come back for her. “I need you to go get something for me.”

Bellamy nodded. “What?”

Clarke walked up to the screens and pointed to a well-lit room and the man sitting behind his easel, idly painting a landscape. “Dante Wallace.”

* * *

 

Bellamy and Lincoln went for Dante and O elected to stay behind saying: “Someone needs to protect you nerds.”

Raven had scoffed and shoved Octavia’s shoulder and Clarke wanted to soak up the sense of camaraderie and relish in the light banter, but she needed to find Lexa. Clarke just needed to _see_ Lexa.

Sensing her extreme anxiety, Raven and O quieted their playfulness and focused on the screens to help Clarke look.

“So you’re gonna trade Dante for the Heda?” Raven asked and Clarke absently nodded.

“Think he’ll do it?” Octavia asked.

“The Heda made sure that every single one of us got out of this Mountain, and then we came rushing right back in. He needed to keep her alive before, because the effects of her blood wouldn’t last –“

She stopped when Raven stiffened.

“The Heda’s blood can’t change genetics, it can only help them fight off the radiation until it’s absorbed in their bodies and they need another dose. Her blood facilitated your healing, it didn’t need to _change_ how your body’s constructed. It just used what was already there to accelerate the healing of the damaged tissue.” Clarke explained and Raven relaxed again.

That was at least what Clarke thought was the reason behind Lexa’s blood not being able to permanently save the Mountain Men. Unless Lexa had been lying to Cage to make them both indispensable…

“But now we’ve made our bone marrow available to them again.” Clarke muttered while she watched the way the Mountain Men focused their attack on the two other teams. They were purposely shooting to kill the Grounders first. If they managed to recapture Clarke’s people, they wouldn’t need Lexa. But Cage would still want his longevity. Clarke had seen him craving it.

He had to be keeping Lexa somewhere…

Clarke’s eyes went to Cage in the dining hall again. “He won’t stop killing us.” Clarke murmured. “He won’t stop till his people have taken the land from the Grounders and our people are all wiped out, because we have the weapons to stop him.”

The door to the control room opened; Clarke had seen Bellamy and Lincoln approaching on screen and grabbed one of the radios charging in a rack next to her.

“Clarke…” Dante drawled in that infuriatingly calm manner he had.

“Shut up.” Clarke snapped back and pressed down on the handheld radio. “Carl Emerson, Mount Weather Security detail, come in.”

Clarke watched Emerson reach for his radio, clearly no longer under Lexa’s thrall. Why wasn’t he guarding Lexa though? Was anyone guarding her?

_“Who is this?”_

“You know who it is. Give the radio to the president.”

Emerson didn’t hesitate and Clarke watched him walk over to Cage and hand him the radio.

“You don’t have to do this, Clarke.” Dante drawled behind her. “Your people could just leave. Give us the Creature and we can all live in peace.”

Clarke spun around to face him.

“Do you know where she is?”

“We will do whatever it takes to ensure that our people prosper.” Dante calmly explained. “Yet you place yours in danger, and for what? An animal?”

“We’re here because we want to be.” Raven sneered.

“ _This is President Wallace.”_ Cage’s voice crackled over the radio and Monty brought him up on the main monitor where he’d stepped out of the dining hall.

“I have your father.” Clarke snarled into her handset. “Give her back to me, or I’ll kill him.”

“ _How do I know you have him?”_ Cage sneered with the same coolness his father possessed.

Clarke shoved the radio at Dante. “Stay the course, Cage.”

 _“You won’t do it.”_ Cage answered, unaware that Clarke could see his nervousness on the monitor.

“I will kill every last one of your people to get her back.” Clarke heatedly promised.

Cage went quiet and started pacing the hallway. Clarke decided to let him sweat it out a little and turned to Dante.

“Where is she?” Clarke growled. “Where are you keeping her?”

Dante’s eyes shifted to the monitors where Indra’s team was being overwhelmed by Mount Weather guards.

“It will mean the end of our people, Clarke.”

“Where is she!?” Clarke screamed into the radio at Cage while pointing her gun at Dante. “I swear, if you don’t tell me, I’ll kill him!”

Cage smirked. “You wouldn’t –

Clarke pulled the trigger.

“Do you believe me now?!” She cried, walking up to the monitor to see the shock on Cage’s face. “Tell. Me. Where. She. Is!!”

Clarke released the button, breathing heavily, feeling dizzy again, because what if Lexa was dead? What if they’d thrown her body down a hatch and a Reaper had carried her off and Clarke would never know what had happened to her. Clarke would never have told Lexa how much she loved her.

“Give her back to me,” Clarke snarled at Cage again, tears burning her eyes, “or I will irradiate Level Five.”

Her friends who had all been stunned at her shooting Dante in cold blood, tensed even more.

“Clarke…” Bellamy gently murmured.

“Can you do it?” Clarke asked Monty.

“Clarke.” Bellamy tried again, but she ignored him and just intently stared at Monty until he nervously nodded and started furiously tapping away.

“You can’t do this, Clarke.” Bellamy softly spoke and Clarke spun around to face him.

“I will kill everyone in this fucking Mountain with my bare hands to get her back!” Clarke screamed at Bellamy. “You don’t know what they did to her!” She cried, her body shaking as she struggled to breathe through her sobs. “You didn’t see what they did to her! And she allowed it! To save _you_! To save _everyone_! _They’re_ the monsters!”

Raven moved in to comfort her, but Clarke shrugged it off. She was losing her fucking mind and she still hadn’t found Lexa. If Raven consoled her, Clarke would break down completely.

She focused on her breathing while she leaned on the control panel, trying to calm down, but her pounding heart refused to settle.

“Our people are losing.” Clarke motioned to the monitors. “They’re only killing the Grounders so they can recapture us. They’ve knowingly been taking the Grounders’ blood for decades; killing them like they’re _nothing_ and turning them into Reapers.”

Lincoln grunted his disdain at that fact and Clarke was pleased to at least have his support.

“We have friends and allies here…” Bellamy whispered.

“And we have friends and allies _dying_ down there.” She pointed at the screen again, eyes searching for her mother every few seconds. “Cage won’t stop until we’re all dead. He told me what his plans are. Living in _peace_ is not on his agenda. And can we really, after everything? Can we trust them? Do we know who we can trust? Are we going to donate our bone marrow? They weren’t even testing to see if we’re compatible with the recipients, just blindly killing us for their own gain. They’re monsters, Bellamy, and I’ll kill them for what they’ve done and intend to do to our people.” Clarke leveled him with a steady gaze. “I’ll kill them all, _just_ to get her back.” She vowed. “ And if you can’t handle that, then leave, because if you try to stop me, I’ll kill you too.”

Clarke gripped onto the handle of her gun as she stared Bellamy down, who looked more hurt than she’d ever seen him. He clenched his jaw and shook his head.

“O told me what happened to her brother…” Bellamy murmured. “I’m sorry Clarke. Sorry for my part in that. I was wrong about her. I won’t stop you, but we can’t just kill everyone. It would have to be a last resort.”

Clarke nodded, the slight relief that Bellamy felt remorse and was talking sense, didn’t have any effect on her raging emotions though.

“It’s up to Cage Wallace whether his people live or die.” Clarke gritted out, her head snapping to Monty. “Why have you stopped?!”

Monty jumped slightly in his seat and spoke before Clarke could apologise for screaming at him.

“It’s done.” He pointed to a large switch on the control panel. “All you need to do is pull down that lever.”

Clarke exhaled a shaky breath and looked to where Cage was speaking to Emerson who then hurriedly left the dining hall.

“He’s coming here.” Raven murmured intuitively.

Clarke brought the radio up to her mouth.

“This is your final warning, Cage. Give her back to me, and I will leave with my people, and yours get to live another day.”

Dante had been right. The Mountain Men needed either Lexa or Clarke’s people. She wasn’t going to give them either though.

Cage ignored his radio.

“You have thirty seconds to decide.” Clarke warned and Cage took off running.

“Keep up with him.” Clarke whispered as Monty brought up screen after screen.

Clarke forgot to count down the seconds as her eyes flitted from Emerson appearing on Level Seven and Cage running through Level Five, finally disappearing into a room.

“There’s no camera in there.” Monty explained.

“He’s going to blow the door.” Octavia stepped closer to the monitor showing Emerson rigging explosives outside room. “Should we go take him out?” She asked Clarke, but Clarke’s eyes were fixed on the door where Cage was coming out again.

He had Lexa slung over his shoulder and then just dropped her onto the hard floor, her body landing with a hard thud that Clarke could’ve sworn she heard and felt herself.

Everyone gasped at the state of the battered Heda as she lay bleeding out on the floor in front of Cage.

_Lexa was bleeding… She shouldn’t be bleeding that fast or that much… She should at least be healing her own wounds._

_Protect her, Klark._

Gustus had asked _one_ fucking thing of her and considering that it was Lexa, Heda of thirteen clans, most powerful being on Earth, it shouldn’t have been that difficult for Clarke to keep that promise. And yet she had somehow managed to spectacularly fail at her task. Clarke was the _cause_ of Lexa’s suffering.

Clarke’s eyes blurred with tears and she had to blink them away as Cage brought the radio to his face and glared up at the camera.

“I gave her blood to enough soldiers to defend Level Five. Call off your people, or I will shoot it in the head and then I’ll cut off its neck. Think your demon lover will be able to survive _that_?” He sneered.

Clarke’s heart ruptured and she took note of two things: Cage didn’t have anything with him to immediately cut off Lexa’s head, and Clarke knew exactly where that room was.

“You have thirty seconds.” Cage smirked and aimed his gun at Lexa’s head.

“Unlock the door.” Clarke murmured, clutching onto the gun and radio in her hands. It was Lincoln who moved to do so. “Tell me if he moves.” She told no one in particular, but Monty nodded.

As the electronic peep signaled the unlock, Clarke pulled down the lever to irradiate Mount Weather and spun around.

She was out the door, one shot to a surprised Emerson’s head followed quickly as she ran down the corridor and toward the stairs. Two flights down. She would need to cut past her mother’s group, and when she got there, they’d already managed to gain the upper hand with over two thirds of the guards down because of the radiation poisoning.

Clarke shot blindly, feeling another bullet hit her shoulder, but she kept on running.

 _“He’s taken the Heda back into the room, Clarke.”_ Monty’s sad voice came over the radio.

Clarke brought the device up to her mouth.

“You better run, Cage!” Clarke panted into the radio, hoping to threaten him away from Lexa. She was barely aware that Raven and Bellamy had been keeping pace with her and were the only reasons she had made it passed the fighting alive.

Clarke rounded the corner to see Cage had indeed started fleeing on her instruction, and hoped that he hadn’t hurt Lexa any more, before he had done so.

“Find him!” Clarke shouted at her friends before she came to a screeching halt outside of the dark room and Raven and Bellamy continued on after Cage.

Clarke grew nauseous again, afraid to go inside. But Lexa had been bleeding too much, Clarke couldn’t waste any more time being afraid. So she entered the room and flicked on the light, finding a small space with a single hospital bed. Shackles were fastened to the ground and Lexa lay motionless on top of the bed. Cage hadn’t taken the time to chain Lexa up again.

Clarke drew in a shuddering breath when she saw the blood seeping from a fresh head wound and stumbled forward to press her fingers to Lexa’s neck. All Clarke could feel though was her own heart viciously thrumming throughout her body.

She frantically searched the room for something sharp, but in her panic, Clarke’s eyes couldn’t focus on anything, though. Overcome with desperation, Clarke didn’t even consider the numerous bleeding wounds she’d already sustained, and took her gun, pointed it at her wrist, and pulled the trigger, crying out as the bullet pierced through skin and bone.

“Clarke!” Abby had rushed into the room at that exact moment, shock and worry clouding her features.

Clarke didn’t respond, instead she parted Lexa lips and pushed her wrist into the vampire’s mouth.

“Stay back!” Clarke pointed the gun at her mother, barely able to make out Kane and Indra through the tears in her eyes. All three of them stopped. “Just… Stay back, and let me do this…”

Clarke kept the gun on them and grinned crazily when she felt Lexa gently start to suck on her wrist. She

turned her full attention on the vampire, whose chest had begun rumbling in that loud predatory purr.

The air steadily grew thicker around them and Clarke’s eyes grew heavy along with it, for the first time affected by Lexa’s pheromones, or was it just the loss of blood making her feel woozy? Clarke didn’t know and she didn’t care. She just lazily smiled, when Lexa’s hands took hold of her arm, sucking harder and jet black eyes finally fluttered open, filled with unabashed hunger.

“Hey, Gorgeous…” Clarke tenderly murmured.

Lexa’s answer came with a loud snarl, yanking Clarke nearer to sink a pair of sharp fangs into Clarke’s neck. Clarke’s body went limp in submission, moaning as Lexa held her impossibly close.

She drunkenly smiled as the deeply purring vampire ravenously sucked her blood. Clarke wanted to hold Lexa too and run her fingers through that silky hair, but Clarke couldn’t move at all. She could still feel Lexa’s warmth and smell her scent though. So Clarke inhaled deeply, pushing her body forward as her eyes rolled into the back of her head in pure bliss.

Maybe this would be her penance for all she’d put Lexa through: dying to make sure that Lexa would live.

_What a way to go._

Was Clarke’s final thought, before everything went black.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes… Yet another cliffhanger and one of the most popular vampire cliché’s ever too: Hungry vamp!lover is so weak that she needs to drink from her human lover and might possibly kill her. I know, I know. It’s a classic and I couldn’t resist. Hope you guys managed to make it through this massive chapter and that I’ll be seeing you next week for this story’s conclusion ;D
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting!
> 
> xx


	19. Epilogue

* * *

 

Dressed in Grounder leathers - a few blonde braids whisked away from her face to meet in an intricate pattern at the back - Clarke confidently sat astride her white horse, expertly guiding her up the path toward Ton DC.

Unlike the first time she’d been there, the road seemed more open and welcoming. Clarke wasn’t sure whether Indra had actually changed anything about the entrance, or whether it was just that this time round, Clarke didn’t feel any fear or trepidation as she rode into the Trikru village.

All around her people stopped what they were doing to stare at Clarke and nod their heads in respect.

 _Seken_ … The title echoed in a hushed murmur and Clarke awkwardly ducked her head in acknowledgement.

They didn’t fall to their knees like they would for their Heda – _thank god_ – but the reverence still made Clarke feel uncomfortable and she was happy when she finally reached her usual lodgings to find Indra already waiting outside.

“ _Seken kom Heda_.” Indra greeted with a rare smile as Clarke smoothly dismounted. “ _Mounin hou_.”

 _Welcome back_.

“It’s Clarke.” Clarke rolled her eyes, because she’d told the Chief this numerous times before, but Indra seemed to stoically delight in teasing her. “And thank you, Indra, it’s nice to be back.”

“Will you be resting or taking a meal before we start the ceremony?”

Clarke shook her head. “If it’s alright with you, I’d rather just get it over and done with?”

Indra nodded in understanding. “Your mother is with _Naikou_. Perhaps you would like to see her while I get things ready?”

“ _Mochof, Indra_.” Clarke smiled and made her way over to the Healer’s quarters.

 

* * *

 

Clarke waved at Bellamy, Harper and Miller dressed in their Ark guard uniforms while they watched the sparring warriors in Ton DC; Octavia unsurprisingly amongst them. Clarke had seen them all the day before when Lincoln and Octavia had announced that they would permanently be making their home in Ton DC.

Clarke wasn’t surprised at all to hear that. For the past few weeks, the couple had spent the majority of their time in the village, assisting with reparations after the missile’s destruction.

What _had_ been a surprise though, was Raven volunteering to run the skeleton staff at Mount Weather. When asked whether it wouldn’t be too difficult for her considering all that had happened, Raven just shrugged and said that she wouldn’t have a Mountain getting the better of her. Her bad memories had little to do with the Mountain in any case, which was rich in knowledge, artefacts and the history of the world before the bombs.  

So it had been decided that Raven would stay on in Mount Weather and then Abby had said that she wished to re-establish a hospital there and open it to everyone in the Coalition. Which was a great idea, considering the electricity supply and actual medical equipment. But the Grounders were still wary - of the Mountain and the Skaikru - so Abby spent a lot of her time with Nyko, learning about Trigeda medicine and gaining the people’s trust so that they would actually feel inclined to seek out her help for those ailments that couldn’t be healed with natural remedies.

Clarke couldn’t remember when last she’d seen her mother so happy and in her element, and brightly smiled when she entered the Healer’s quarters, only to find Raven in the process of pulling up her pants and her mother blushing furiously.

“What the fuck?” Clarke blurted, mouth gaping as she stared between the two.

“Clarke!” Abby exclaimed. “How long have you been standing there?”

_What the fuck?_

Clarke could just gawk at them, before she clenched her jaw and glared daggers at Raven.

“What. The. Fuck?” She directed at the brunette.

Raven looked like she would burst out laughing at any second.

“Don’t you mean: What the fuck, _Stepmother_?” Raven tremulously smirked, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

“Raven!” Abby shouted in reprimand and then frowned between the two young women glaring at each other. Well, one was busy glaring, while the other looked constipated, as she valiantly struggled to hold back her hilarity at the situation.

“Oh!” Abby suddenly exclaimed, eyes wide, before she narrowed them at Raven.

She walked over the mechanic and hit her lightly on the shoulder. “ _Not_ funny.” Abby reprimanded.

“Not my fault your daughter thinks the whole world loves vagina as much as she does, Abby.” Raven managed to keep a straight face as she said it, before she burst out laughing and turned to Clarke. “Your Mom was just examining me, making sure everything’s still fine. And it is.”

Clarke’s brows knitted suspiciously. “Then why was she blushing?”

“I was blushing because Raven is as intrusive in my love life as my daughter apparently is.” Abby huffed.

“You have a love life?” Clarke couldn’t help but grimace as she pondered it, not noticing Abby’s face falling.

Raven quickly walked to the exit, punching Clarke on the shoulder on her way out.

“ _Why_?” Clarke growled.

Raven nodded to where Abby was busy packing up her medical bag, shoulders slumped and looking close to tears, and then gave Clarke a stern glare before she left the mother and daughter alone.

“Mom?” Clarke confusedly wondered, walking closer.

“I will always love your father.” Abby murmured, turning around with glistening eyes. “I don’t know if I’m ready to see anyone, but if I eventually get to that point, I don’t want you to feel as though I’ve stopped loving him.”

Clarke’s heart clenched and she guiltily ducked her head down.

“I didn’t mean anything with my reaction. I’m sorry. I know you love Dad…” Clarke softly replied.

There had been a time where Clarke had doubted that, but it’d been six weeks since the incident at Mount Weather. Clarke had spent a lot of time alone with her mother since then as they tried to make the alliance between the Arkers and the Grounders work, as well as strengthen their own relationship.

“It’s just that you’re my mom…The thought of you with anyone is weird. Even when it had been with Dad…” Clarke chuckled and was pleased when Abby laughed and then levelled her with a sage look.

“Need I remind you of the things I can never unsee?” Abby vaguely prompted, but Clarke knew exactly what she was talking about and blushed bright red.

“Good.” Her mother smiled and pulled Clarke into a one armed hug.

Clarke went willingly and her eyes fluttered closed when Abby kissed her on her head.

“Are you ready to do this?” She murmured into Clarke’s hair.

Clarke’s jaw clenched and she nodded.

“Just this one last thing and we can finally move on with our lives.”

 

* * *

 

Clarke sat in the gigantic Antler Throne the Grounders had been insisting she use whenever she visited the village. It had been Gustus’s; Clarke just knew it because of its sheer size and she was fairly certain Gustus never used it, even though Lexa had occasionally used her matching one for clan meetings.

He had probably just laughed it off, or glared at them until they laid off him.

Clarke was still new to the whole _Seken_ thing. The Grounders were a lot more formal with her than they’d been with Gustus, and yet it was still evident that they’d respected him more, because he was ‘one of them’ and also awesome. Clarke was an outsider though and she’d murdered almost everyone in Mount Weather. The people’s veneration for her was deeply seeded in fear. So Clarke knew she could decline, but still didn’t want to use that power to offend anybody by going against ‘tradition’.  

So she sat on Gustus’s throne, even as it brought a lump to her throat and reminded her of the huge shoes she would probably never be able to fill.

Clarke swallowed thickly when Indra nodded toward her and shakily rose up from the throne. She stared out at the few hundred people in attendance. They were mostly villagers of Ton DC, the Arkers making out the second most and the rest were handfuls of representatives from the remaining clans.

“Hail, Warriors of the Thirteen Clans!” Clarke shouted what Indra had told her to, wondering up until that moment if Indra was just fucking with her and setting her up for a major embarrassment just to have a good laugh. Did Indra even laugh? Clarke could only hope that Indra wouldn’t mess with tradition. Especially not on that particular day and released a relieved breath when the answer to her call sounded loud and clear:

“Hail, Second of the Heda, Protector of the Coalition.”

Clarke was happy this was all taking place in English, because she was still learning Trigedasleng and struggling with her pronunciation.

“We have gathered here today to impose our final justice upon the _Maunon_ , who have taken so much from our people.”

The people instantly started murmuring and turned their attention to the Cutting Tree, where Cage Wallace was tied with his hands behind his back. He was the last Mountain Man left. Every single day for the past six weeks, he’d been tied to that tree, given food and water to keep him healthy; even allowed to bathe and sleep under warm blankets in his cell.

Clarke slowly walked toward him, the people having made a path for her, all standing a few yards away from Cage so that everyone had a clear view, but weren’t close enough to hear the conversation that was about to take place.

Clarke stopped an arm’s length away.

“Any last words?”

“Where’s your demon girlfriend?” Cage smirked. “Still crying over her wings?”

Clarke’s jaw clenched. Each time she saw the man, she had to remind herself not to kill him yet.

“She actually doesn’t give enough of a fuck about you to show up.”

Cage snorted his disbelief.

“You see, she’s one of those rare individuals who don’t dwell on things they can’t change. She went into that Mountain to keep me safe and she succeeded, so she’s feeling pretty good about that.”

Cage snorted again.

“Yeah, she knows you’re gonna die and really couldn’t be bothered to come out and see it. That’s how little you mean to her. However, it had been her idea to feed you and water you and tie you up to this pole every day for the past six weeks. Just so that you could see _Tondisi_ being rebuilt around you; and see our people working _together_. It must’ve been torture for you...” Clarke chuckled scathingly. “You destroyed _nothing_. You actually made this alliance stronger.”

“The Heda wanted you to see how completely stupid you had been. Because had you just welcomed us when we crashed - like a normal fucking human being - we would’ve freely donated our bone marrow to you. Even our blood. Just like we’re sharing our knowledge and technology with the Grounders and they’re sharing their hunting and farming skills with us.” Clarke smirked while she watched as he tried to pretend that she didn’t have a point. “You could’ve had that, Cage, but then you just had go and be a dick. I may have killed all of your people,” Clarke couldn’t quite stop the hitch in her breath as she tried to pretend that she was fine with that, “but it had been _your_ choices that had caused their deaths.”

“Just kill me already.” Cage sneered, staring her down with hard, unrepentant eyes.

“Not yet,” Clarke smirked, it made it easier that he was still refusing to admit that he had done anything wrong. “The Heda might be all zen and at peace right now because we’re alive and together, but _I_ can’t let go of things so easily.” Clarke casually shrugged. “Maybe it’s like a default setting in my brain where I’m unable to let go of certain things... I really dunno, Cage, but what I do know, is that you should’ve _never_ taken her wings. You should’ve never fucking _touched_ her.” Clarke hissed and breathed in deeply, trying to calm down.

Even after all this time, her anger still felt raw and new when she thought about what had happened to Lexa in that Mountain.

“So I’m gonna ask you again: Do you have any final words?” Clarke coldly asked, giving him another opportunity to repent.

“Kill me.” Cage muttered, glaring at the ground at his feet.

Clarke drew the Heda’s blade from her thigh and straightened her spine when everyone fell to their knees as though Lexa herself had descended from the skies.

“ _Cage kom Maungedakru_ , you’re sentenced to two hundred cuts and death by the Heda’s blade. _Jus drein jus daun!_ ” Clarke announced, moving to hand the blade to Indra, as the chanting sounded all around her.

Clarke stepped back and the people lined up for their turn. Many of the prisoners who had been held in Mount Weather and the Coalition’s army had returned to their clans, eager to be reunited with their families. Clarke had sent word that they needed to select only a few to come and take their price from the leader of the _Maunon_. There would’ve been nothing left of Cage if the families of _everyon_ e the Mountain had claimed were to make their cuts.

Clarke simply refused to give him any of Lexa’s blood. He probably would’ve spent days on the pole before everyone had had a turn. No, Lexa’s idea had been the better one. Torturing Cage would’ve only strengthened his beliefs that they were savages. The only reason Clarke had agreed to the ceremony at all was so that the Grounders could get closure in the manner most familiar to them.

Sixteen Mount Weather guards had survived the irradiation process and had been taken prisoner and strung up with Cage those first few days. Slowly - starting on the third day - the last of Lexa’s blood had finally dissolved from their bodies. Cage had to watch them all scream as one by one they died right in front of him.

Clarke was happy she hadn’t been there to witness it. She wouldn’t show it to anyone there, but the deaths at Mount Weather all haunted her. She had taken three hundred and sixty-six lives. Jasper’s angry and distraught face was prominent in her nightmares. As were Maya’s confused and betrayed features. But Clarke was _Seken kom Heda_ now. Her duty was to the people of the Thirteen Clans. Even more than that, her duty was to her Heda.

So when all the cuts had been made, Cage’s chin resting on his chest with fatigue; his screams having died down, Clarke took the knife from Raven - one of only four Arkers to have made a cut - and walked toward Cage.

He’d passed out twice, but, as if sensing his imminent death, Cage hazily looked up into Clarke’s eyes.

“May my people haunt you forever.” He sputtered out and weakly smirked when Clarke couldn’t help but react as though she’d been struck, right before she plunged the Heda’s knife into Cage’s gut.

Clarke grew nauseous as she stepped away from Cage’s slumped body and absently watched the Grounders quickly build a pyre all around the pole. A lit torch was then handed to her and Clarke could feel her mother’s gaze burning into the side of her head, while she stared straight ahead instead of at the blood covering her hand.

Abby had warned Clarke not to do this – as had Lexa - Clarke had thought it would be easier considering how much she hated Cage Wallace. But then again, murder should never be _easy_ …

She inhaled a shaky breath and looked to her people.

 _“Kru kom Heda kongeda, raun faya, oso wada klin laudnes-de kom fotaim_.” Clarke shouted and set fire to the last of the Mountain Men.

_People of the Heda’s Coalition, in fire, we cleanse the pain of the past._

 

* * *

 

A large feast had been prepared for the villagers and the visiting clans; the people celebrating a village restored as well as a century old threat destroyed. Clarke only stayed to greet the representatives of the clans, most of whom she’d come to know from their meetings prior to the Ton DC missile. Most of whom had been saved by the Heda’s blood and who now worshipped the ground the vampire walked on more than ever.

They were an okay bunch now that the war was over, but Clarke said her goodbyes as soon as she could and went to meet her friends, Kane and her mother at her horse.

Abby instantly pulled her aside and hugged her tightly.

“I’ll stay in touch, Mom.” Clarke promised, hugging her back.

Raven had radios set up in Mount Weather, Ton DC and at Camp Jaha – recently renamed Arkadia for obvious reasons. Clarke also had her own radio, even though she doubted she’d be in range for much longer...

Abby nodded into her hair. “Just please don’t do anything reckless again…” She sternly warned, moving away from Clarke but holding onto her arms.

Clarke rolled her eyes.

“I told you, Mom,” she guiltily whispered, “I shot myself, because I knew when Lexa got my blood she would be okay and then she would save me.”

It was a lie.

Clarke had probably known that at the back of her mind, but in that moment, she hadn’t thought about anything other than Lexa needing blood and giving that blood to her. And now her mother thought that she was suicidal and irrational, possibly suffering from a mental illness…

Clarke couldn’t really blame Abby for that, she _had_ gone a bit crazy in Mount Weather.

“I won’t do any more stupid things. You _know_ that.” Clarke emphasised. She’d cried on Abby’s shoulder enough over the past few weeks for her mother to realise it.

Abby gave her a teary smile and nodded.

“Enough with the tears!” Octavia shouted and embraced Clarke, releasing her only when Kane stepped forward to take hold of Clarke’s forearm.

Clarke suspected that he was probably the one who had her mother blushing earlier that day. So after hugging Lincoln – who surprisingly allowed it with a smile - Clarke did the same with Raven.

“Keep an eye on Mom, won’t you?” Clarke whispered into Raven’s hair, who nodded and held her back tightly.

“Tell your girl I have an idea for that project we discussed, so she better come visit soon.” Raven murmured back.

Clarke shifted back and narrowed her eyes. “What are you two up to?”

“Can’t we have our secrets? She very explicitly told me that she could have secrets as long as your life isn’t in danger.” Raven smirked and Clarke sighed.

“I’m not liking this friendship.”

“You love it.” Raven smirked knowingly.

“Unfortunately, I do.” Clarke easily conceded.

She then went through Miller, Harper and Monty and then awkwardly embraced Bellamy.

Their relationship was getting better, but it still felt weird. Clarke would catch him staring at her sometimes, but at least he wasn’t badmouthing Lexa anymore. But there was really nothing he could say about the Heda who had saved them all. They were both tense during the hug and Bellamy was the last one to say goodbye to because he was hanging at the back looking like he wasn’t sure if he was permitted to hug her or not.

So to break the tension, Clarke lifted Bellamy clear off of the ground and threw him up in the air, her laughter bellowing loudly as he let out an embarrassingly high pitched shriek, before Clarke easily caught him again and placed him on the ground.

Everyone was laughing when Clarke smoothly mounted her horse and looked down at her sobering people.

“May we meet again.” She said to all of them, memorising the soft smiles on their faces as they returned the greeting before she turned to Kane.

“I’m very strong now.” Clarke sternly told him. “And fast.” She added. “If I wanted, I could snap you in half.”

Clarke fought her grin as she recited the words Gustus had once told her.

Kane took it in his stride and smiled charmingly while Abby turned bright red next to him. He just casually placed an arm around Abby’s shoulder and smoothly pulled her close. He didn’t say anything, because Clarke hadn’t outright said anything, but he nodded nonetheless that he understood.

Clarke watched how comfortable her mother was around him; how Abby melted into his side.

Her eyes pricked with tears as she thought that it was her father’s arm that was supposed to be there. But Kane was a good man, having taken his rightful place as Chancellor of Arkadia. Clarke also knew that Abby would never stop loving Jake Griffin. So she smiled warmly at the both of them - before her mother started worrying about her opinion again - waved at her friends, and rode out of Ton DC.

 

* * *

 

It was surprising just how much easier Lexa’s blood made everything.

Even horse-riding. Clarke had been stiff and uncomfortable after her first ride from Ton DC, too stuck in her mourning to even register the pain. Now though, she galloped her horse as fast as she could go through the forest and toward her destination. Slickly ducking away from branches in her path and jumping over logs and rocks.

It was an exhilarating feeling.

All around her the world seemed _brighter and more beautiful_ and all Clarke wanted to do was paint it. Every single, minute, detail. A few days prior, Clarke had spent the majority of a night staring at the full Moon. And Lexa had been so right about how much better it was than the Sun.

Clarke slowed her horse when she noticed the piles of gifts heaped under a canopy in between a crop of trees. Lexa’s people kept on leaving them there, though none of them dared venture further than that point. There were so many that Clarke didn’t bother stopping to take any with her. She’d come back for them later.

Clarke did however, stop to pick some flowers. Blue ones with a little bit of yellow in them. Clarke didn’t know what they were called, only that they were very pretty and smelled amazing.

She gently cradled them in one hand and made her way up on horseback to where she could hear Lexa’s Waterfall rumbling. It had been raining a lot, but the skies were clear that day and Clarke nimbly dismounted her horse and took off her saddle so she could graze freely, before Clarke walked toward the tiny cemetery she hadn’t even noticed on her first visit.

The two oldest graves were marked with slabs of intricately carved wood and Clarke gently placed a few flowers at each, before she moved to one of the newer ones. A pair of massive stag antlers marked Gustus’s final resting place, right next to his wife and son. She’d been surprised that Lexa hadn’t burned Gustus’s body, but given that Gustus had actually been born before the bombs, and had buried his family, it just made sense that Lexa would honour him in the same way.

Clarke smiled sadly and decorated the antlers with the remainder of her flowers, leaving a single one for the final grave.

She’d had to do the headstone herself. A large piece of wood, one side sanded down until it was flat and smooth, before Clarke had drawn a pair of majestic wings from memory. She planted the flower so that it would stand upright in front of the marker and smiled.

It had been quite the service.

Clarke hadn’t known what to do with Lexa’s wings, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to leave them at Mount Weather. Lexa had pretended not to care – presumably in an attempt to stifle Clarke’s guilt - but Clarke could see the sorrow in Lexa’s eyes. It must’ve felt like losing a limb. Lexa had had them her entire life. Ninety-seven years. She hadn’t _just_ lost her wings, though. Lexa couldn’t _fly_ anymore and Clarke knew that being grounded was slowly eating away at the vampire.

Clarke had needed Lexa to do something. So they had held a service, where Lexa’s eyes kept on wandering to Gustus’s grave. Clarke had slowly crept closer, moving them both until they stood in front of the large antlers and closely held the vampire while they both cried.

Clarke had been grateful for the opportunity to say goodbye to Gustus too.

Sighing, Clarke walked toward the waterfall, stripping off her clothes as she went and dove into the cold water. She didn’t even feel the bite with Lexa’s blood coursing through her veins. It was the vampire who had also taught Clarke to swim. Something Lexa did as gracefully as she did everything else.

After hugging people for most of the day - and still faintly scenting Cage on her - Clarke meticulously washed Ton DC off of her body, using the products Lexa kept behind her waterfall.

Lexa was still a bit… Clarke didn’t want to say _feral_. But the vampire’s baser instincts still tended to show on occasion. At least it was nothing compared to when Clarke had first regained consciousness in Mount Weather on that fateful day…

 

* * *

 

When Clarke regained awareness again, it was to the taste of the delicious blood she was greedily swallowing down. Without stopping her hungry drinking, Clarke next became aware of the growling resonating all around her. Vicious and loud. Clarke recognized the soound instantly, so she wasn’t scared; feeling even calmer when she registered the arm firmly wrapped around her waist and the hand possessively tangled in her hair, keeping her cradled into Lexa’s neck.

Clarke hummed in contentment as she swallowed down Lexa’s blood and inhaled the potent scent of forest, stronger than she’d ever smelled Lexa before. It took a while before Clarke finally noticed that she was salaciously grinding her body against the rigid vampire.

A warning snarl - loud and visceral - sounded and Lexa’s entire body quivered in apparent fury.

Clarke lazily slowed her rutting hips to a stop and gazed up into Lexa’s hard features, where only light patches of war paint still remained. Clarke then followed the intense obsidian glare to where it was trained at the entrance to the room Clarke had found Lexa in.

Noticing Abby and Kane standing there, Clarke smiled widely, before she absently licked the blood off of her lips.

“You guys should probably go.” Clarke hoarsely advised, turning back to Lexa when the vampire lifted up an object in her hand.

It looked to be a straightened chain link, reshaped from the shackles that were hooked onto the floor next to the hospital bed. Lexa easily cut it across her own neck to reopen her healing wound, blood quickly spilling out.

“I’m safe…” Clarke distractedly mumbled just before she latched onto the vampire’s throat again.

Lexa purred that deep threatening purr and moved her hands down to grab two handfuls of Clarke’s ass, roughly squeezing as she pulled Clarke into her with a loud, animalistic snarl. Clarke lewdly moaned in answer and fought a hard battle between wanting more of Lexa’s blood and Lexa’s lips on hers, before the latter won out and she tilted her head up to hungrily kiss the vampire.

At that point, Clarke hadn’t thought about her mother, but Abby and Kane must’ve left when the frantic kissing and groping had started.

Clarke had never been hornier in her entire life.

Was it the blood? The quantity of blood? The fact that they’d defeated the Mountain? That they were both alive and together? Or had Clarke just missed having sex with Lexa?

Maybe it was all of the above and the hours that followed turned out to be a blissful blur.

Clarke remembered Lexa’s fangs and fingers entering her over and over again. Pumping and sucking. Curling and licking. The vampire just took and took, till Clarke would plummet over the edge of reason and then Lexa would give Clarke more of her blood, making sure Clarke had her fill, while she gently coaxed her back to sanity, before starting the process all over again.

By the end of it all, where it would’ve been normal to just pass out and sleep for a few weeks, Clarke Griffin felt born again. She actually looked as though she’d just been born, as she was covered in her and Lexa’s blood from head to toe; healing bite marks littering her body.

Lexa possessively spooned her from behind on the tiny hospital bed, still purring that predatory purr of doom. Clarke was finally lucid enough to realise that the vampire hadn’t spoken a word to her. It had been all snarls and growls and biting and fucking Clarke as though there was no tomorrow.

Clarke’s stomach clenched and she tightly squeezed her thighs together, biting her lip to keep from moaning and shook her head at herself. The horny vampire behind her perked up and instantly moved the arm she had snaked across Clarke’s abdomen, down toward the apex of Clarke’s legs.

Clarke covered the wandering hand with her own and pleasantly shuddered when a pair of sharp fangs grazed her shoulder.

“Stop, Leksa...” Clarke very unconvincingly murmured, but Lexa stopped, because she was apparently still Lexa.

Clarke had to shuffle her way around and onto her other side to look into a pair of pitch black eyes. The gaze directed at her wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t warm either. Clarke wasn’t sure what was missing, only that something was.

“Leksa?”

Lexa’s purr went about two octaves deeper - causing an answering twitch between Clarke’s legs - before the vampire pulled Clarke closer, seemingly needing her near.

“Okay.” Clarke breathed, resting her head – hair stained red with blood – onto Lexa’s shoulder. “We’ll just sleep a little while and hopefully when we wake up, you’ll be in a mood to talk.”

Lexa didn’t answer, just comfortably wrapped herself around Clarke and continued with that threatening purr, that wasn’t at all the one Clarke needed to hear in that moment. They stayed like that for what felt like ages, Clarke unable to sleep, because she was certain that at that stage she had more of Lexa’s blood inside of her than she had of her own and she felt ready to conquer the world. But she stayed still as long as she could, until Lexa’s previously malleable body, went stiff as a board. The vampire abruptly jumped upright on the tiny cot, crouching over Clarke, and snarled at the door.

“ _Clarke?”_

Clarke was only able to make out Kane’s faint voice before Lexa viciously snarled, smoothly hopped off of the bed, and started toward the door. It was a lucky thing that the vampire was slowly prowling, poising her muscles for attack, because it allowed Clarke the time to hurry after her and place her body in between Lexa and the door, and was then promptly hissed at.

Lexa didn’t remove Clarke like she obviously could and instead just fixedly stared at the door, as though she suddenly had x-ray vision, and growled louder.

Having determined that she wasn’t in any danger, but that most of the human population possibly was – because Kane? Lexa got all pissed off at _Kane_? – Clarke gently took hold of Lexa’s hand and led her back to the bed, picking up the handheld radio on their way.

Lexa willingly went with Clarke, but kept her eyes on the door, still lowly growling while she made sure to stay close to Clarke.

Clarke spent the following few hours communicating with her people over the radio. Making arrangements for what was supposed to happen with Mount Weather, and the people of Ton DC and Arkadia and the thousand-man army outside, waiting on word from their Heda on what to do next.

Clarke decided to deal with the army first and sent a message with Indra, that the Heda lived and thanked them all for their bravery; that they had fought well and had defeated their enemy. _That sounded good, right? Would Lexa say that?_

Clarke could hear the cheers from all the way inside the Mountain – or was it Lexa’s blood enhancing her hearing? - when Indra had presumably shared the news. Lexa, who had started pacing in front of the door, briefly halted, slightly tilting her head at the sound to listen, before she dismissed it and continued her predatory stalking. Clarke had been worried when Lexa had jumped up again, but soon realised that Lexa was guarding her and therefore wouldn’t leave, and everyone else would remain safe, as long as they didn’t enter their room.

 _Their room_.

 _Well, fuck_ that _shit._

Clarke needed to get out of that fucking mountain. She needed to get Lexa to snap out of it already so that they could leave the horrid place. So Clarke jumped up, stalked toward the vampire, wrapped Lexa in her arms and very spontaneously dipped Lexa down low, before she bit hard into the surprised vampire’s neck.

Lexa’s body jerked in her arms, before she violently shuddered and let out a loud keening moan, arching into Clarke. Clarke just held her closer, biting down harder, until Lexa went completely limp in her embrace. Clarke brought them back upright, slowly easing her bruising bite with her lips and tongue, - Lexa whimpering and softly whining -, desperately clinging onto Clarke, until she found her legs again and tensed entirely.

Clarke hesitantly pulled back to look at the vampire’s face and smiled when she found jetblack eyes glittering with a familiar spark, a bashful smile pulling at a pair of full lips, and a dark blush noticeable even through all the blood and faded war paint covering Lexa’s cheeks.

“That had hardly been necessary, Klark.” Lexa rasped and lifted her chin, even as the blush spread across her chest and neck.

Clarke grinned broadly, before she flung herself at Lexa; eager to kiss her again.

 

* * *

 

Clarke softly laughed while she dried her hair with a towel that had been hung over a branch nearby. These days there was always a towel hung there. She looked to the opposite side of the river where her horse still grazed and then toward the Dark Tent pitched a few yards away, on her side of the embankment. 

Clarke had snuck Lexa out of Mount Weather in the middle of the night. Lexa had still been a bit cagey around people, and really, who could blame her? So Clarke had made arrangements with Indra to move the Dark Tent from Arkadia to the Waterfall and to safely take Lexa’s wings there too.

No one had seen them leave, save for Indra, who had waited for them with a horse and a few supplies. They’d worn cloaks to hide their features, but hadn’t had a chance to bath or shower. Clarke wasn’t sure what the Ton DC Chief had made of their bloodied appearances, but Indra was Indra, so Indra said nothing about that, respectfully averting her gaze when the Heda passed her and awkwardly climbed up onto the horse.

Lexa hadn’t ridden before, but had been fine with settling her arms around Clarke’s waist. Clarke wasn’t sure what the Grounders would make of a wingless Lexa. The vampire was still strong and smart and fierce and fast. But people were weird. And stupid. So Clarke didn’t want it to be known what had happened to the Heda in case some asshole tried to start a war, thinking the Heda had lost her Heda-ness, and Lexa would then be forced to go and protect everyone again. Nope. Clarke wouldn’t have any of that. So she had discussed as much with Indra, who agreed, instructing Kane to make sure that her friends who had seen Lexa on the monitors, knew to keep the Heda’s lack of wings quiet.

“ _Mochof, Indra_.” Clarke had said; for keeping their secret and protecting their Heda.

“ _Journey well, Seken kom Heda.”_

It was the first time Clarke had heard the title bestowed upon her. That was why she was certain that it had been Indra who had proclaimed her as the Heda’s _Seken_ , because it sure as hell hadn’t been either Lexa or Clarke who had done it.

Then again, who else could’ve possibly filled the position?

 

* * *

 

Clarke didn’t bother with clothes as she walked toward the Dark Tent, feeling her heart rate speed up and her smile broaden the closer she got.

There was a definite no clothes policy at Lexa’s Waterfall, despite the fact that most of the gifts Lexa received were tight Grounder leathers, as though all of their people were pervs, who liked to see their Heda look as sexy as possible in her dark leathers and shiny buckles.

Clarke ducked into their tent, her grin splitting her face as her eyes landed on the naked vampire, spread out on her stomach on the large bed of furs. Smooth tanned skinned stretched for miles down Lexa’s long legs, ending in a row of cute little toes, curling in sheer delight.

The only time Clarke could remember Lexa wearing clothes the past few weeks, had been when Raven and Abby had visited the waterfall. Lexa and Raven had spent most of the visit off on their own, talking about Mount Weather. Not about what the Mountain Men had done, but about the abundance of resources now available to the Coalition and how it could benefit their people.

Clarke’s eyes trailed up over Lexa’s scrumptious butt cheeks and up the curve of her spine and her heart ached with joy at the pair of small white wings wildly fluttering on Lexa’s back. The vampire couldn’t quite control them yet, and whenever she was happy or excited, they would just start flapping like crazy.

Surprisingly, Lexa had allowed Abby to examine her, whereupon her mother had suggested Lexa measure her wings as they grew day-by-day, so as to determine how long it would take for them to reach their full size again. Clarke and Lexa had then been able to calculate that in just another eight months, Lexa would be able to fly again. And perhaps two months thereafter, her wings would be back to their magnificent wingspan once again.

It would take longer than when Lexa had been exposed to the acid fog, because Lexa wasn’t only growing back feathers now, she had to start from scratch. Too much time had passed for Lexa’s old wings to have been reattached, since Lexa’s body had already started healing and re-growing her wings by the time Clarke had left that room to specifically track them down. Her mother had kept them safe though, along with the few bags of Lexa’s blood that Clarke had promptly destroyed, before tracking down Indra to make arrangements for their departure. She then returned back to Lexa who she’d found pacing in agitation, only relaxing once Clarke closed the door behind her and locked out the world.

Clarke thought that Lexa hadn’t ever looked more like an angel than she did now with her little white wings.

She knew the vampire was awake by their excited flutter. Clarke also knew that Lexa was just waiting for Clarke to get closer so she could pounce; that she was perfectly aware of every move Clarke was making. And yet still, Clarke slowly crept forward, as quietly as she could, intent on straddling Lexa’s thighs and running her tongue up the base of Lexa’s spine, all the way up so she could bury her face in that wild mane of chestnut curls.

Predictably, just as she reached the furs, Clarke felt the air shift as Lexa moved lightning fast, taking hold of Clarke’s body. Clarke relaxed her muscles when she went airborne, closing her eyes as she was carried through the air and her back was firmly pressed into the furs. She felt Lexa’s naked body settle between her thighs, pinning her down and grinned happily when a second later the vampire’s fangs grazed her neck, sending delicious shivers up Clarke’s spine.

“ _Klark_ …” Lexa deeply purred in welcome, her entire body vibrating in Clarke’s arms and in between her legs.

“Hey, Gorgeous….” Clarke blissfully breathed, eyes still closed as she tilted her head even more to allow Lexa access to nuzzle to her heart’s content.

Clarke didn’t think that anyone on the planet could be as happy as she was in that moment and greedily inhaled the scent of forest washing over her.

It had only been four days. Granted, the longest she’d been away from Lexa before had been two days, but this time round Clarke had needed to make sure that their people were finally settled. So she had spent a day at Ton DC, two at Mount Weather and the day before at Arkadia.

Honestly, without Lexa’s advice and guidance, it would’ve taken a lot longer than six weeks and Clarke really didn’t want to hear the crackle of the radio that stood in a corner of the Dark Tent to call her away from the paradise that was Lexa’s Waterfall and Lexa’s arms again.

She grinned lazily when Lexa’s soft kisses reached her face, gently brushing over Clarke’s eyelids and down her nose, before finally locking onto her lips. Clarke hummed in pleasure as she kissed Lexa back, her eyes finally fluttering open when Lexa pulled away to stare down at her.

_Lexa’s eyes were so fucking green._

“I missed you terribly.” Lexa whispered, her gorgeous mouth pulled into a joyful smile.

Clarke could only stare back; her own eyes wide and wondrous.

Clarke had felt bad about it for a second, but she’d taken possession of all of Dante Wallace’s paints and brushes and had been intently mixing them together in an attempt to get the perfect shade of green to match Lexa’s eyes.

Clarke’s chest felt both tight and light at the same time as her eyes flickered over Lexa’s face, her heart furiously thumping against her ribs... A thick lump rose into Clarke’s throat and why was this hurting when she was so happy?

“You’re the Earth.” Clarke inadvertently blurted.

Her breath hitched in shock that she’d actually said it out loud and flushed brightly when Lexa’s mouth tilted amusedly and she cocked her head in question.

“I mean, if I’m your Moon, you’re definitely my Earth.” Clarke rephrased and somehow managed to become even more nervous.

_Okay, you can do this, Griffin._

It probably didn’t help that Clarke had been rehearsing the speech for the last four days while she missed Lexa like crazy and now everything was just jumbled up in her brain. But Clarke needed to say something, because almost everything Lexa said to her made Clarke fall even more in love.

She’d promised that she’d be better and that included opening up more, because Lexa sometimes was so unbelievably blunt with her feelings. It was refreshing and great to know where you stood with someone, but it also made Clarke wonder whether Lexa knew how Clarke felt about her.

“ _Mochof_ , Alehan.” Lexa warmly smiled after Clarke got lost in her head and tried to duck down to kiss her again, looking genuinely pleased about just being called the Earth to Clarke’s Moon without any explanation at all.

Clarke chuckled lightly, grinning as she tenderly cupped Lexa’s sharp jawline to keep looking at her face.

_Such a gorgeous fucking face._

“The Moon is in synchronous rotation…” Clarke abruptly continued. “…So it rotates on its axis in about the same amount of time it takes to orbit Earth. Which means that it’s always facing Earth with its near side.” She frowned as the words left her mouth.

They sounded way too scientific and impersonal. Clarke had written them down slightly more poetically – at least as poetically as Clarke Griffin could get - but the note was in her clothes on the other side of the waterfall and everything was scrambled around in Clarke’s mind, because duh, Lexa was laying naked on top of her, purring that purr that melted Clarke’s heart and brain.

Her brows scrunched together in concentration, trying her best not to freak out even more and instead remember what she’d wanted to say; what she needed Lexa to hear. The lump in her throat knotted painfully and distractedly throbbed while Clarke tried to focus, so she barely felt it when Lexa removed her hand from that amazing jawline to move lower and was pleasantly surprised when a pair of soft lips grazed over her own.

“Breathe, Klark.” Lexa murmured over her lips, and Clarke instantly sucked in a sharp breath, smiling sheepishly when Lexa returned to her position; even going so far as to place Clarke’s hand back against her lovely face.

Clarke released her breath and tried to relax, because she could be reciting the alphabet over and over again and if it was important to her, Lexa would listen to it for as long as Clarke needed her too.

“I like to think of it as the Moon being unable to look away from the Earth because of how beautiful it is...” Clarke explained, nervously licking her dry lips. “And for all my life I can remember doing the exact same thing.” She smiled. “I couldn’t pass a window on the Ark without looking out to see whether I could get a glimpse of the Earth...”

Thus far, it had been the single subject Clarke had drawn the most, but Lexa’s features were fast catching up to that. No doubt it would very soon surpass it in the sheer number of sketches and paintings Clarke already had planned out in her mind.

“I would imagine what it would be like to walk on the browns and to swim in the blues and feel the cold of the whites...” Clarke swallowed thickly, her thumb trembling as she caressed over Lexa’s cheek. “And the greens…” She reverently whispered while she stared into Lexa’s eyes, the colour most closely resembling the Trikru forest. “I wanted to inhale them and touch them and paint them in all their different shades…”

She cleared her throat and almost lost her train of thought again as Lexa’s greens intently stared back at her.

“They theorise that the Moon had been formed as a result of a Giant Impact, when a large body - about the size of Mars - collided with Earth and blasted material into orbit around it…” Clarke trailed off and bit her lip.

What the fuck was she even saying? Was she back to giving lessons on the solar system? Lexa probably knew all of this already.

“Continue.” Lexa whispered, still earnestly listening. “Please.”

Clarke smiled shakily, and sucked in another deep breath. She couldn’t not finish this stupid analogy now. Her father had said that _when you love someone, don’t let pride stand in your way_. _Tell them how they make you feel and make a fool out of yourself. The good ones will get it._ Clarke had never listened to that advice, because she’d never felt secure enough to do so. But this was Lexa.

Lexa made Clarke feel safe. In every sense of the word.

“Scientists who had studied rocks retrieved from the Moon, suggested that it had been formed mostly from Earth’s matter, instead of the body that had crashed into it, because the rocks carried an isotopic signature that was identical with rocks from Earth and were different from almost _all_ other bodies in our Solar System…” Clarke’s smile brightened, she had loved her lessons on astronomy. “And I was thinking about it the other day, how I have your blood inside of me, and how different my body is now to everyone else’s and so much closer to yours… Like the two of us share this connection, like the Earth and the Moon, and it’s special, because it’s not found anywhere else… Like, I’m the me I am now – a way happier one - because of you. Because of knowing you and because I have literal parts of you inside of me…” Clarke sucked in a breath and looked away from Lexa’s penetrating stare and to the canopy of the tent.

Give her a sketchpad and a pencil and Clarke could draw out all of her feelings, but professing them like this? She sucked so much at this.

Lexa’s purr deepened and she lowered her face into Clarke’s neck, purring so furiously that Clarke wasn’t sure if it might be her purring too. And that was really answer enough for Clarke, that even though other people might have laughed at what she had just said, Lexa had understood and clearly appreciated it.

So Clarke smiled and tilted her head when the vampire softly peppered kisses up Clarke’s neck, to nibble on her ear, trying to ignore how wet she was making Lexa’s stomach gently grinding down between her thighs.

Clarke realised that Lexa knew that Clarke wouldn’t want her to say anything like ‘thank you’ or ‘that was nice’. That it would only make Clarke feel more awkward. Instead, Lexa responded in the exact way Clarke needed her to in that moment to show her appreciation at the sentiment.

“Would you like more parts of me inside of you, _ai Natshana_?” Lexa lowly rasped and moved her hand in between their bodies, smoothly sliding her fingers between Clarke’s slickened folds.

Clarke arched in surprise, her body shuddering in pleasure and she let out a light laugh as the remaining tension left her body. She hadn’t thought it possible, but Lexa had become even more tuned in to her. And Clarke would keep on making a fool of herself, because Lexa was trying right back to give Clarke what she preferred after four long days away from her lover:

 _Sex_. Clarke Griffin just really wanted some sex.

So she kissed the vampire, bucking her hips up and moaning when Lexa’s familiar fingers easily slid inside of her.

 

* * *

 

Clarke wished that she could grow fangs. She had even asked her mother whether Abby would be able to design her some caps. If she could just get some fangs then she wouldn’t need the knife in her hand that she was currently trying not to frown at.

They were standing at the foot of their bed, Clarke lightly bleeding from the inside of her thigh and her neck, where Lexa had bitten into her while she’d brought Clarke to climax with her fingers. It had taken a while for Lexa to be comfortable enough to initiate the Bite during sex, even after the hours they’d spent sharing blood in Mount Weather. Mostly because Lexa was unaccustomed to feeding when she didn’t need it.

But ever since their first sexual encounter, Lexa’s instincts had driven her to want to bite Clarke, so it was something natural to the vampire that Clarke didn’t want her to repress. It helped a lot that it almost instantly triggered Clarke’s orgasm when Lexa’s fangs sunk into her flesh.

And it also meant that Clarke could return the favour without feeling like a pervert, because technically she’d just be taking her blood back. Yeah, that’s how Clarke justified it, even when they both knew that sharing blood was as intimate as going down on each other and they did it because they enjoyed it. No other reason than that.

But Clarke didn’t have fangs, so Lexa had taken to strapping a knife to her thigh. At first, Lexa had made the cuts herself, but then she’d asked Clarke to. But Clarke still couldn’t quite forget that she was slicing through Lexa’s skin, so she’d only done it herself once before and it had kind of thrown the whole momentum of their love making out of sync.

She looked up into pitch black eyes staring quietly at her. Lexa was giving her time to back out, even when she was clearly so ready to go already. She’d made Clarke come three times already and really needed Clarke to take care of her.

So Clarke smiled and holstered the knife at Lexa’s thigh, pressing her body into the purring vampire and kissed her deeply. Clarke ran her hands down Lexa’s back, greedily palming Lexa’s ass before she lowered down to a pair of toned thighs and lifted, just as she thrust her tongue into Lexa’s mouth.

Lexa moaned, and easily wrapped her long legs around Clarke’s waist, while her arms wrapped around Clarke’s neck.

_Light as a feather._

Clarke confidently walked them back, breaking the hungry kiss to make sure that she pressed Lexa’s back against the tent post centre of Lexa’s shoulder blades to avoid damaging those delicate wings.

Lexa tilted her head sideways, baring her neck to Clarke, trembling in Clarke’s arms in anticipation. Clarke ignored her neck and instead ducked down to suck a straining nipple into her mouth. Lexa arched her back and ground her wet heat against Clarke’s stomach.

“Fuck me, Klark…” Lexa growled, her fingers twisting into Clarke’s hair, pressing her closer.

Clarke whimpered, her body quaking at the words, and was Lexa trying to fucking kill her?

“Did I say it correctly?” Lexa breathlessly queried.

Clarke broadly smiled, releasing Lexa’s nipple with a pop, thrusting her hips forward to pin Lexa to the post with her body while she cupped the vampire’s face.

“Perfectly.” Clarke grinned before she kissed Lexa, her hips senselessly bucking, but stilled again when she drew the knife from Lexa’s thigh holster.

Lexa’s purring grew louder, her eyes growing impossibly darker as she stared at Clarke with parted lips, before she slowly tilted her neck.

Clarke had many spots where she liked to feel Lexa’s bite. The space just above her hip bone being her absolute favourite. But Lexa liked it in her neck.

So Clarke raised the tip of the knife and lightly grazed it over Lexa’s breasts, licking her lips and trying to keep her hips still when Lexa whimpered and pressed her chest forward, Clarke reacting just fast enough to keep from breaking skin.

“Klark…” Lexa sounded almost heartbroken as the plea left her lips.

Clarke looked up into those dark eyes, Lexa silently begging Clarke to mark her, and _finally_ Clarke fucking got it. She had been looking at it all wrong: The _knife_ was Clarke’s fangs. That’s why Lexa needed _Clarke_ to be the one to make the cut…

“I’ve got you, Gorgeous.” Clarke murmured, placing a reassuring kiss on Lexa’s lips, before she trailed the tip of the blade up Lexa’s chest and watched the goose bumps spreading in its wake.

Clarke then levelled the knife at Lexa’s throat, who whimpered loudly, gently bucking her hips and tilted her long elegant neck again. Even knowing that she couldn’t really hurt Lexa, Clarke’s hand trembled as she made the cut, her eyes growing darker when the crimson liquid trickled down Lexa’s smooth skin.

Clarke carelessly tossed the knife and latched her lips onto Lexa’s neck having to brace herself when Lexa rocked her hips, moaning loudly as she spread a trail of sleek wetness across Clarke’s belly. Before she could get too lost in Lexa’s taste, Clarke wrapped her arm around Lexa’s waist and moved her other hand between Lexa’s thighs, rhythmically circling her fingers through Lexa’s folds while she sucked on the vampire’s skin.

And Lexa really must’ve missed Clarke as she unabashedly canted her hips, before Clarke realised what the vampire was craving and slickly slipped her fingers inside.

“ _Sha_ , Klark…” Lexa mindlessly mumbled, clutching onto Clarke’s shoulders, the blonde groaning in answer, rutting against the back of her hand to get more friction and go even deeper into Lexa.

Feeling Lexa wildly fluttering around her fingers, Clarke pulled away from the already healing wound and kissed Lexa’s lips, entering Lexa with her tongue, who whimpered as she sucked and licked her own blood from Clarke’s mouth. Clarke remained locked inside of Lexa as she pumped her hips and fingers harder and faster, until Lexa tore her mouth from Clarke’s to pant into the air, harshly hissing as she bared her fangs and rocked her body against Clarke’s powerful thrusts.

Clarke smirked and flipped her own hair over her shoulder, knowing what would happen next.

Lexa’s body arched and stiffened as she cried out, growling wildly as she clenched onto Clarke’s fingers and with a loud snarl she dipped her head and bit into Clarke’s shoulder. Clarke moaned and shuddered, furiously rubbing herself against the back of her hand, prolonging Lexa’s pleasure, until Clarke finally tumbled after her, to the sound of Lexa’s loud purring in her ear.

 

* * *

 

Clarke ducked out of the tent, Lexa on her back, long arms resting over Clarke’s shoulders, Clarke’s arms hooked under Lexa’s thighs, giving the vampire a piggy-back ride toward the waterfall.

Their blood sharing had gotten a bit messy in their exuberance. Clarke didn’t mind, they had a ton of furs gifted by the clans, and she really enjoyed bath time with Lexa.

“You visited with _Gostos_.” Lexa murmured next to her head.

Clarke nodded, squinting toward the small cemetery. Her eyesight would never be as good as Lexa’s, but at least she was strong enough to carry Lexa around whenever she felt like it.

“They were his favourites.” Lexa smiled and placed a sweet peck on Clarke’s cheek.

Clarke blushed, and goofily grinned, continuing to walk as Lexa contently purred and nuzzled into her hair.

The vampire was such a tactile being. Clarke had never been one for PDA or hugging and cuddling in general. But it was different with Lexa. Lexa spoke her affections with her entire body and Clarke hungrily lapped up the attention and easily returned it in kind.

It was soothing and natural and mutual.

This need for closeness had been part of the reason Clarke never left for longer than absolutely required. Lexa seemed fine during the day, but sometimes at night, when they’d somehow rolled away from each other in bed, Clarke would wake to Lexa’s gentle whimpers as she softly cried in her sleep. Clarke would then move toward her, carefully resting her head in between Lexa’s shoulder blades and mould herself to Lexa’s back, wrapping an arm around Lexa's waist and soothingly rub circles over her belly...

Lexa would then relax and continue sleeping, but sometimes she would wake up and after a moment tell Clarke that her nightmare had been about Gustus, or she wouldn’t say anything and Clarke would know it had been about her wings. Clarke would just hold her until they both fell asleep again, because more often than not, it had been her own nightmares that had woken Clarke in the first place.

Mostly though, they slept peacefully as long as some part of them was touching, so Clarke hated leaving Lexa, because she couldn’t bear the thought of Lexa waking up alone and in tears. Shaking off her morose train of thought, Clarke decided to get back in the moment and started running toward the rocky slopes forming part of the embankment.

Lexa shrieked and held on tighter, causing Clarke to laugh, because the best thing about her new abilities was that she could sort of keep up with Lexa now, and Lexa seemed to love it just as much, because really, Lexa could easily stop Clarke from reaching her destination if she wanted to.

Instead, Lexa just shouted for Clarke to stop through her laughter, clinging on for dear life. Well, probably not _for dear life_ , since Lexa would probably break Clarke if she did, but neither of them cared about technicalities.

Lexa made Clarke feel strong. In every sense of the word.

So Clarke nimbly hopped up the slope of rocks, Lexa’s laughter hitching with each bounce of their bodies, and when she reached the edge Clarke jumped into the air as high as she could, Lexa screaming in excitement before they plunged into the water.

 

* * *

 

Clarke sat on a smooth flat rock, submerged in water up to her chest.

Lexa lazily floated in front of her, elbows on Clarke’s thighs holding her in place while she rested her head back against Clarke’s shoulder. Clarke just stared at her face. Lexa’s eyes were closed and she wore a small contented smile, gently purring while she soaked up the sun and pretended not to notice Clarke subtly smelling her hair.

“Klark.” Lexa murmured, turning her face into Clarke’s neck.

“Hmm?” Clarke hummed, closing her own eyes and resting her cheek against Lexa’s forehead.

“I know what love feels like.”

Clarke could feel the smile in Lexa’s voice, probably matching her own. They had never actually said the words out loud to each other, and yet Clarke knew that Lexa loved her. Lexa hadn’t needed to say a thing.

She hoped that Lexa would know too, but decided not to risk it.

“I love you too.” Clarke whispered, the words slipping out as though she’d said them a million times before.

Clarke could feel Lexa grinning against her skin and knew that she would definitely be saying the words frequently from now on.

A tender kiss was placed into Clarke’s neck, Clarke reacting automatically by placing one on Lexa’s head.

“I am pleased, Alehan.”

 

* * *

 

**THE END**

* * *

 


End file.
